Spiritual Friendship

Practicing Spiritual Friendship

Pastor Richard Hovey

“Here we are, you and I, and I hope that Christ makes a third with us.”

Aelred of Rievaulx

Defining Spiritual Friendship

“When we speak with others about our experience in Christ, it sharpens our attentiveness to the voice and will of the Father. Sharing our stories helps us clarify the intentions of our hearts toward the fulfillment of his divine will. A small circle of friends also reminds us of the presence, power and protection of the Holy Spirit. Confiding in one another instills a sense of hope for the future as children who are dearly loved by their Father.”

Stephen Macchia

"Spiritual friendship involves developing a covenant friendship where I can naturally share about my life with God. It is grounded in relationship to God and a commitment to support, encourage, and pray for one another."

Adele Calhoun

Practicing Spiritual Friendship

Identify someone whom you consider to be a friend, and someone who shares your Christina faith convictions.
Ask this person if they will journey with you for the purpose of:
- sharing your faith stories
- praying for each other
- correcting each other as needed
- championing each other in following Christ
- bearing the burdens of each other
Meet with this person regularly

Resources

What are the Elements of Spiritual Friendship?*

What does spiritual friendship look like in practice? We want to learn from Jesus, the model spiritual friend. From Jesus’ friendship with His disciples we see that spiritual friendship has at least the following components.

1. They love one another

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” — John 15:13

Spiritual friends sacrificially give of themselves in their care for each other. Jesus as the supreme friend shows us the way. We do all we can to help our friends not because they demand it of us. We do it because we want to. It’s what friends do.

2. They accept one another

“…accept each other just as Christ has accepted you…” — Romans 15:7a

The disciples were far from perfect. Time and time again they failed Jesus and each other. Yet Jesus continued to accept them and to love them. Spiritual friends give each other the gift of unconditional love. We know our friends’ faults but we love them anyway.

3. They are loyal to each other

“He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end.” — John 13:1B

Jesus was not ashamed to have a feast with Matthew and his tax collector friends even though He was criticised for doing so (Matthew 9:9–13). He didn’t give up on Peter even when Peter had denied Him (John 21:15–17). True friends are committed to each other through thick and thin.

4. They teach one another

“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” — John 15:15B

Friends share what they have learned about God and His Word with each other. However, their teaching and learning is not an academic exercise. While holding to the authority of the Scriptures, they share how those Scriptures have been lived out in the struggles of their shared lives.

5. They correct one another

“Jesus turned to Peter and said, ‘Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s” — Matthew 16:23

True friends love each other enough to correct the other if needed. The human heart is indeed deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). Our friends help keep us honest. They challenge us lovingly when we are dishonest with ourselves and they keep us accountable to our desire to follow Christ.

6. They share their burdens with each other

“He told them, ‘My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.'” — Matthew 26:38

True friends share their deepest emotions and their needs with each other. Knowing that they are loved and accepted, and help accountable, friends find the freedom to be honest and transparent with each other. This allows the friendship to be one where burdens are shared (Galatians 6:12).

7. They encourage each other

“Don’t let your heart be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me” — John 14:1

Friends are encouragers. Following Jesus in a fallen world means there will be times when we will face setbacks and discouragement. Friends are channels of God’s grace, encouraging us to press on, challenging us to be our best. When the going gets tough, we draw strength from our friends to press on.

*Taken from Graceworks: https://graceworks.com.sg/what-is-spiritual-friendship/