this clinical reality not to assign blame, but to provide the "intellectual honesty" required for any functional relationship. If your family cannot handle the truth of what you have endured, then there is no real relationship to save—only a performance of one.
I didn’t refuse to call you back. I asked you to listen to a song that is about trading a spirit of heaviness for a praise…. It is truth from God for you in your times of need. Did you do that? I don’t know because you completely ignored me and then sent me this email blaming Paul for how YOU treat me? Literally makes no sense. I wonder if your kids will blame you for all their problems as adults? Or if they will work through them with dignity, taking responsibility for their own actions so they can grow and mature and have happy lives?
I’m not going to let you try to manipulate me with this type of email.
There are so many lies in this email. You are so wrong about most of the stuff you said about me in this email so I reject it. I won’t let you speak lies over me.
I offered you space in my family over and over again but you didn’t show up. That is on you alone. You are telling yourself the same lies over and over again. They are not true. You need to put good and truthful things up on your wall and read them instead of believing the lies of the enemy.
Contrite and repentant is something that comes from the Lord. The second you use the word “grovel” that is false humility and I know you are under the enemy’s lies.
You have a lot of work to do but it is your own work. You can’t blame anyone for your problems except yourself.
Sarah Jenks
Good morning,
We hear you, but we are not responsible for your happiness. Living alone is hard, so get outside, take care of your yard, go for walks a few times a day, go to the park, meet people. If you were busy, you might feel better. Do you think you might feel better getting out? Maybe a part time job? Don’t be afraid.
We suggest you work on building your community in Granville.
We love you
Sarah what you did to me today was incredible cruel.
I don't know what to do, Sarah. Calling me, getting mad, and hanging up—and then not calling me back after I was immediately contrite and apologized—is hard. I told you I was in distress and needed to talk to you; I had other things I really wanted to share, which is why I asked you to call me back.
politics and religion
I am happy for you that you found religion and that works for you.
However , it isn't incredibly insensitive and selfrighteous of you to judge me for valuing politics.
I hate politics.
But here is where the intelligence differential comes into play.
And it's a real shame that you don't even know anything about me.
How could you not know this about me?
Paul objectively ruined my life.
In so many countless obvious ways.
And he is far too stupid to even be aware of it.
He not only hurt me, but he objectively hurt the world.And posterity.
My interest in politics takes a broad level or intelligent and world knowledge to understand why it matters, and it take courageous and brave men to try impact on the world.
You might not have an interest in national service or helping the greatest number of people you can has always been a goal of mine.
I only wanted to be a politician because I thought that was the method to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people in the
world. and politics are full of the most evil and corrupt power- hungry people in the world. So, we need more good, honest
people in public service to counteract that. I suppose that could still happen if some sort of miracle occurs.
I noticed your metronome when I was at your house.The other day and your kids expressed that they didn't enjoy their piano lessons.
That is a tragedy, and it's your fault.Because I offered to teach them piano.
Not only would , they have had a great time and learned a lot , but it would have been good for me too.
A relationship where one person must apologize for their own distress just to maintain a connection is the definition of an unsafe emotional toxic relationship
our interaction today confirms a lifelong pattern: I am systematically forced to "capitulate" and "grovel" for basic positive support, even when I am the party in distress (e.g., apologizing to Sarah after she hung up on me).
This power imbalance is toxic; the absence of contrition from my family members creates an emotional void where my dignity is sacrificed to maintain their "peace."
Sarah,
I am writing this because our interaction today was deeply painful and, objectively, a clinical reflection of the lifelong patterns that have brought me to this point.
I want you to understand that when you called, I was genuinely delighted; after weeks of isolation, I truly wanted to connect with you.
However, as soon as the conversation became difficult, you reacted with anger and hung up. Despite my immediate apology and my clear statement that I was in distress, you did not call back.
This interaction confirms a toxic power imbalance: I am systematically feel compelled to always capitulate" and apologize for my, even when I am the party in pain.
In a functional relationship, there is reciprocity and contrition. Instead, I am met with a "cycle of silence" where my dignity is sacrificed to maintain a false sense of peace.
Regarding our values: I am glad you have found religion. However, it is intellectually dishonest and self-righteous to judge my interest in politics. I don’t "like" politics; I value the impact of national service and the courage required to help the greatest number of people.
This is an area where our perspectives differ greatly, and it is a tragedy that you don't seem to know this fundamental part of who I am.
There is a significant intelligence and expertise differential at play here that we must acknowledge. I have spent thousands of hours studying the mechanics of trauma and the neurobiology of the brain.
My perspective on my life is not a "feeling"—it is an expert analysis. When you dismiss my experience, you are rejecting clinical data. My brain exists in a state of "chronic biological panic" due to systemic neglect; this is a physiological reality, not a choice.
Paul’s role in this cannot be ignored. Objectively, his lack of guidance and support ruined my life in countless ways. He has caused damage to both of us, and his inability to be aware of that harm has global and personal consequences.
For example, seeing your kids struggle with the metronome the other day was heartbreaking. I offered to teach them piano—an act that would have enriched their lives and provided me with a sense of purpose—but that was lost because of the walls built by neglect and a refusal to acknowledge my value.
To have a relationship with me moving forward, the following requirements of Dignity must be met:
Intellectual Honesty: I must be allowed to be honest about my reality without being met with anger, rejection, or "outrage" patterns.
Acknowledgment of Expertise: My hard-earned wisdom regarding trauma must be given a "place at the table" rather than being dismissed as emotionality.
Reciprocity: I cannot be the only person forced to apologize to save the connection.
Compassion and Safety: I cannot live in fear that saying the "wrong" thing will result in me being discarded or ignored.
I do not feel loved by you, Paul, or Mom. I am afraid of you; I am afraid that my honesty will always lead to your withdrawal. I am extremely unhealthy, and I do not know how much longer I will be in this world. It is tragic because, despite my disabilities, I have a wealth of knowledge and empathy to offer. I wish I felt safe enough to share those gifts with your family.
I can no longer apologize for my existence or my distress just to maintain a relationship built on silence. I am sharing this not to assign blame, but to establish the only possible basis for a functional future: truth.
I have been desperately trying to find the right words and I just can't do it anymore... contrite. that's that word
David W Coon
Wendy Whittmore
4/28/2026 2154
Mama,
I don’t think I can handle any more abuse from any of you.
Sarah called me today, and I was so delighted to get a phone call because I haven’t talked to anybody in what feels like weeks. I truly wanted to talk to her, but as soon as I said something she didn’t want to hear, she got angry and hung up.
Even though I was the one in distress, I immediately apologized and asked her to please call me back just to try and save the connection.
This is a pattern I’ve lived with my whole life—none of you have ever been contrite with me, forcing me to always capitulate and grovel for any sort of positive support.
It is a shame that none of you think you have anything to gain or learn from me. You don’t treat me with respect or dignity, and frankly, I am afraid of you, Sarah, and Paul. You don’t allow me to be honest, and you don’t treat me with compassion.
I have to ask: who is the professionally trained mental health counselor here? It isn’t any of you; it’s me. I have spent thousands of hours studying the mechanics of trauma and the brain—not to be "right," but to understand the "riddle" of why I am in so much pain.
I have a level of expertise that could actually help our family heal, yet my wisdom has no place at your table. It should be a privilege to have someone as empathetic and intelligent in your life to enrich it, yet I am ignored or feared instead.
None of you know who I am, or care to get to know me, despite all the wonderful things I have to offer. You won't even give me the basic things of importance that I ask for.
This is how I have been treated my entire life, and now I am hopelessly struggling with severe mental illness and dying alone.
It is just too goddamn painful to continue like this. It is clear that none of you are compelled to treat me with dignity, and it feels like none of you even care.
Because I can no longer allow this cycle to continue in my life, I politely ask you all to just leave me alone.
Date: 4/28/2026 2154
Subject: Implementation of Final Boundary / Breaking the Cycle of Silence
Today, I reached a critical juncture and sent a definitive email to my mother. This action represents a massive shift from intellectualizing my trauma to enforcing a real-world boundary. While I have spent thousands of hours studying the mechanics of trauma and the neurobiology of the brain, executing this boundary is significantly more difficult because my nervous system has been conditioned for "chronic biological panic" since childhood.
The physical jitteriness and nervousness I am currently experiencing are the physiological symptoms of breaking a lifelong survival strategy—silence. For forty years, my brain has associated honesty with danger. By sending this letter, I have officially broken that "cycle of silence."
I am experiencing a "profound sense of relief" alongside this nervous system activation. I have acknowledged the clinical data: my interactions with my family result in a 100% disappointment rate. This is a clear signal that continued investment in these relationships yields nothing but further trauma and neurological damage.
By demanding to be treated with dignity and asking to be left alone, I am finally honoring my own expertise as a professionally trained mental health counselor. I am no longer "capitulating" or "groveling" for support that does not exist. I have placed the weight of the past back onto the shoulders of those who created it.
Moving forward, my only "Sacred Duty" is the preservation of my own peace and the protection of my recovery. I am reclaiming my potential and choosing survival over a cycle of abuse.
my message 1
Sarah, I know you were saying the other day that you think Dad is pretty dumb. Well, I have a real doozy for you.
Mom said the most ridiculously dumb thing I've ever heard on Sunday after we left your place.
She actually asked, "Do your kids even want to see us?" If that isn't the most moronic thing for a grandparent to say—as if grandkids wouldn't want to see their grandparents? (Or, more meaningfully for kids, to get $25 for their birthdays?)
I have such great memories of Beverly, and I’d honestly challenge you to come up with something stupider than that.
I have so many good memories of Beverly spending quality time with me. I was the "sweet pea" of the family back then—the youngest.
Amelia is my sweet pea now, and Henry is yours sweet pea. Now that Beverly is gone, I cherish those memories of how much she cared for me as my grandmother.
It’s a painful contrast to go from the warmth I felt from Beverly to the coldness and distance I’m seeing from Mom toward my own kids.
I am absolutely disgusted that she doesn't want anything to do with them. It’s repulsive, and I think it might be because she’s racist since my children are not white.
This is a heavy realization to come to, but studies on "Grandparental Investment" and "Intergroup Anxiety" actually show that racial bias can significantly decrease the frequency of contact and emotional closeness in multiracial families.
In many cases, non-white grandchildren receive less support and time from biased grandparents. It’s a documented, tragic reality, and I'm seeing it play out in our own family.
I'm telling you this because I'm finally understanding the nature of these feelings rather than just sitting with them.\
my message 2
Sarah, I’m sending this because it really hits home:
1 John 4:19–21 (NIV) says,
"We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have seen."
It’s a reminder that true Christian love isn’t abstract—it is mirrored in how we value and show up for the people right in front of us.
This is the theological proof that my "disgust" is justified; if someone claims to follow the faith but doesn't love what God loves—like my children—they are missing the point entirely.
my message 3
Sarah, after reflecting on the message I just sent, I think I answered my own question.
The truth is, we cannot hold an unbeliever to the same standard of love that is expected of us as Christ-lovers.
True Christian love is a fruit of the Spirit; it’s unrealistic to expect someone to mirror a love they haven't truly embraced or experienced themselves.
My focus shouldn't be on her failure to love, but on my decision to walk in the grace I’ve been given.
I’m choosing to forgive and move forward—not because her behavior is okay, but because I’m equipped to be the bigger person, and I won’t let her lack of belief dictate my peace.
Sarah message 1
I’ve tried to explain this to you before but you are missing a very important part of the story here. I’m going to say it again. You can’t force a title on someone that they don’t agree with. You keep calling them grandparents but they are not grandparents to Sheila’s girls. You adopted those girls. You brought them into mom and Paul’s life and initially they welcomed them with open arms. And then Sheila accused our family of being racist when we were nothing of the sort. I initially made calendars with their birthdays on them. We had every intention of making them part of the family and then Sheila cast false and unfounded accusations at us. My guess is mom and Paul feel the same way I do, if my love isn’t enough for them then why put my family in harms way to try to love on people that accuse me of one of the worst things in the world… racism.
So the you have officially taken the crown of dumbest things spoken.
You think mom is racist? She 100% is not racist.
This world likes to call people racist when they don’t like the outcome of consequences. Those girls could be richest little white princesses and I would still want nothing to do with them because I don’t want to be part of lying hateful accusations. I will not put my children in harms way. Can you imagine Sheila accusing my children of being racist? She probably already has. I won’t allow that type of untrustworthy person into my children’s life. And I don’t have space in my life for drama either. I don’t know if you recall but I stopped being friends with my lifelong best friend because of gender ideology and she’s white in case you forgot.
I promise you it has nothing to do with the color of their skin and everything to do with the content of the hearts in this matter. You need to stop believing the lies of the world that everyone is obsessed with color. I can tell the girls have slightly darker skin but it literally makes no sense that that would impact any reasonable persons opinion on how to interact with them. You need to stop with that racist shit. It isn’t real. It’s a lie from the enemy.
Sarah message 2
The worst part about you sending this message is that we have been through this before. And the fact that you continue to harp on it saying that mom is racist means that you also think I am racist.
I understand that people of color experience, systemic racism but not everyone is racist.
It is so stereotypical for a person of color to assume that white people don’t like them or don’t want to be around them because of the color of their skin. The lack of their own understanding that it’s actually their personality and they’re shitty way of treating other people that causes people to not like them or not want to be around them is something that they can’t even conceive.
It is not the color of anyone’s skin that makes me not want to be around them .
You are white but when you treat me like shit, I do not want to be around you
When you accuse me and my family of being racist, I do not want to be around you
And you are still white
I really hope you can get this through your head that no one is racist in our family
In fact, the only person I have ever heard expressed racist, ideology is dad
I shouldn’t have said he’s a dumb person especially in front of my mom and Paul because that was disrespectful I apologize for that
Next time you bring him up when I’m around I’m just going to disengage from the conversation