Preconception (Garbhadhaan)

Before the Ritual  

Preparing the Body  

Long before as a prerequisite the couple should pay full attention to their physical health, life style and healthy nutrious food.  According to Bridaranyakopnishad the soul of the child enters into the bodies of the parents (i.e. sperm and egg) through the food (Basham, page 242).  Food creates the annamaya kosha (physical sheeth).

Determining the Date of the Ritual

Some scriptures recommend performing Garbhadhaan between 4th/5th to 16th day from the beginning of menstrul cycle but even during that period several days are restricted.  There are several other recomendations based on the cycle of moon and astrological alighnment as well as even days for a boy and odd days for a girl.  There is a specific Hindu calandar (panchang) that recommends dates for every action.  It is complex.  Since some scriptures only mentioned the name without any details of the ritual and there are different ways to perform is mentioned too-that could mean it isn't essential to follow all of the complex details. 

I believe in this modern era, the couple should perform Garbhadhaan when they are confident about their love and respect for each other and are convinced about their readyness for parenthood.  They may consult a medical professional or take help from avilable tools to determine the best timing.   

During the Day of the Ritual  

Preparation of Mind, Body and Space

To prepare the mind, it may be helpful to take off from work and disconnect from the computer and phone.  Mind should be stressfree and relaxed.

To prepare the space, perhaps playing soothing music and having pleasant aroma may inhance the atmosphere. the location should be clean and pleasant.

To prepare the body, the couple should take a bath and wear clean clothes.  

Preparation of Food

 The AtharvVeda mentions the importance of cooking, eating nourishing food and offering the food to the sacred fire (Brahmodan 11 kand, 1 sukta).  I suggest that the couple should find fresh fruits, vegetables, and include high quality whole grains, honey etc.   Many scriptures recommend adding Ghee (clarifies butter) to the meal.   Some other text mention that the man should cook in order to make woman feel loved (traditionally it is women's job).  I believe the couple should cook together as a bonding activity.  They may make kheer (indian rice pudding) or any other whole grain dish of their choice.  

Below are some interesting details for the sake of information only but I don't think one should get stuck on it. 

Brihdaranyak Upanishad gives a lot of details and recommends that the woman should crush rice paddy and then both should cook it (6th chapter).  It should be cooked in milk in order to get a fair skin son while cooked rice should be eaten with yogurt for a yellowish/brownish skined son.   For a darkish skinned son just rice and for a daughter rice with sesame is mentioned. 

The Ritual

Some scriptures recommended starting the ritual with Pranayam which are meditative yogic breathing to achive a positive mental state.  

Once in a meditative state, the couple is ready to take Sankalp which is  setting an intention/mindset of inviting a good soul who will continue the lineage and carry the qualities both parents have agreed upon.   

Remember ancestors or god/godess and ask for blessing. 

The next step is doing Havan (a fire ritual) with chanting a mantra while asking for blessings and then, the food they prepared offering three times to the fire.  According to Brahdarankopanishad offer with following mantra:   अग्नये स्वाहा, अनुमतये स्वाहा, देवाय सवित्रे सत्य प्रसवाय स्वाहा  

Below is mantra specifically for Garbhadhaan from the oldest scripture of the world-RigVeda.  I've copied mantra and translation from wikipedia.  Bestow upon us progeny and affluence. 

May Vishnu construct the womb, may Twashtri fabricate the member, may Prajapati sprinkle the seed, may Dhatri cherish thy embryo.  Sustain the embryo Sinivali, sustain the embryo Saraswati, may the divine Aswins, garlanded with lotuses, sustain thy embryo.  We invoke thy embryo which the Aswins have churned with the golden pieces of Arani (firewood), that thou mayest bring it forth in the tenth month. 

प्रजां च धत्तं द्रविणं च धत्तम्  

विष्णुर्योनिं कल्पयतु त्वष्टा रूपाणि पिंशतु । आ सिञ्चतु प्रजापतिर्धाता गर्भं दधातु ते ॥१॥

गर्भं धेहि सिनीवालि गर्भं धेहि सरस्वति । गर्भं ते अश्विनौ देवावा धत्तां पुष्करस्रजा ॥२॥

हिरण्ययी अरणी यं निर्मन्थतो अश्विना । तं ते गर्भं हवामहे दशमे मासि सूतवे ॥३॥

The mantras above may not be that useful for those who don't have knowledge of the language or faith in the scripture.   I suggest that couple should pick their own intentions and core values which they may repeat like a mantra.  Similarly Fire ritual (havan) may be replaced by offerings or just remembering in honor of planets or the five elements that make the human body or any other form of Nature or ancestors or God/Divinity. 

At the end of the ritual, the couple should eat the food as prasad (the food that was blessed by the ritual).