He was born in Mirzapur around 1924 while India was under British rule.  the place was small and family was away from aggression and revolt happening in some other parts of India. 

He was the youngest child of his parents who lived in Gazipur a village about 140 kilometers away.  His father taught himself homeopathic medicine and was interested in occult and preferred to live in Gazipur. As a result my father, his elder brother and sister grew up in Mirzapur with his grandmother.  He studied Sanskrit and followed the tradition of performing religious rituals which hardly met the basic needs of family.

But his elder brother was dreamer and wanted to explore better opportunities.  His charismatic personality attracted good friends' support and guidance.  both brothers worked hard for a successful brick making business.  

transistor songs, photography hobby, against all odds and role models loved his wife dearly.

She  Her father was a successful businessman.  Among many other businesses he was a contractor of stones and may have provided stones for some monuments and buildings of that time.  His own house, made of stones, was like a mansion compared to many other houses in the village. 

Mother was the 1st daughter of her mother, but she was treated like a son which was unusual for that society in that era.  Her father dressed her up as a boy and brought her to many places in his horse chariot that was surrounded by fragrant grass.  She had two other younger siblings: a sister and a brother.  Ramayan which I will read later, was a very important part of her family.  Every night, my grandmother under the oil lamp read Ramayan as a bedtime story for them.  She read in the same tune as her father-my great grandfather.

My mother shiromani pandey was born around 1926 while India was under British rule.  Her village was small and peaceful away from aggression and revolt happening in some other parts of India.  Her father was a successful businessman.  Among many other businesses he was a contractor of stones and may have provided stones for some monuments and buildings of that time.  His own house, made of stones, was like a mansion compared to many other houses in the village. 

Mother was the 1st daughter of her mother, but she was treated like a son which was unusual for that society in that era.  Her father dressed her up as a boy and brought her to many places in his horse chariot that was surrounded by fragrant grass.  She had two other younger siblings: a sister and a brother.  Ramayan which I will read later, was a very important part of her family.  Every night, my grandmother under the oil lamp read Ramayan as a bedtime story for them.  She read in the same tune as her father-my great grandfather.

Mother was married at the age of 13 to a very loving husband who lived 20 minutes away.  Her in-laws adored her as well.  I was born after 12 years of their marriage and my sister 9 years after me.  My father passed away young at the age of 40, I think.  That year we witnessed four other deaths including her own mother.  Among many other characteristics of my mother her acceptance of death amazed me.  She did not cry or expressed her sadness like others.  She saw death as ‘mukti’ freedom or transformation just like Gita’s famous shlok. “When our clothes are old and torn, we change them with new clothes. Similarly leaving old body, the soul accepts a new body”

In 1993 she came to US when Shyam, Shalini and Vivek were 6, 8 and 12.  She stayed with us for almost 12-13 years and took care of her grand children’s needs.  She played with them, taught them, and cooked for them.  Her presence gave me peace of mind that children are loved and well cared for while I worked, sometimes on 2 jobs.  And her understanding felt like oxygen when I was about to suffocate.  The women who did not cry when her husband died young, I saw her cry for the pain of her both daughter’s miserable married life.  She told me that no one can control death, but abuse and torture are caused by human which is more painful.  Many of her beliefs were tested through her daughters’ lives but her journey towards end was the biggest test.  Her core faith was unshaken. She accepted those painful years as god’s will and never expressed anger or bitterness-not once she blamed God.

Her faith in god/destiny did not make her inactive. She lived a disciplined life (niyamit jivan).  She woke up around 4am and went to bathe in Gangaji.  She did her asans, pooja and read Ramayan before others woke up. During the day she kept herself busy and rarely took nap. When there was nothing to do, she climbed stairs several times.

Her daily actions were offering to god that kept gratitude flowing all the time- Gita chapter 9-27 यत्करोषि यद्अश्नाशी यज्जुहोषि ददासि यत तपस्यसि कौन्तेय तत्कुरुश्व मदर्पणम  That means whatever one does, eats, gives, donates, or serves should be offered to God/energy.  She never ate food or even her medicine without bringing that to her forehead.  When she cooked, she asked ‘bhagwan’ to make the food delicious.  To honor the earth, She touched the ground before putting her feet in the morning.  Even throwing ball for basketball or bowling she remembered God. 

And other actions were ‘sewa’ that included taking care of her grandchildren or doing household chores as well as helping anyone in need. She said ‘bhagwan sewa karwa rahe hain’ (The god is having me do this sewa) - Sewa is helping others without expectation or arrogance.  That is the true definition. 

She avoided me, my, I pronouns.  She loved everyone as her own and in returned she become everyone’s mother.  Instead of introducing us as her daughter, she would say “aapkee beti” your daughter and Ye to sirf pet se niklee hai. “she came from my tummy but you are my daughter/son too.”  As a child I was hurt and used to hide to avoid that introduction but now I know she was seeing everyone with equal eyes.  As stated in Gita’s shlok 29 from chapter6  सर्वभूतस्थमात्मानं सर्वभूतानि चात्मनि, ईक्षते योगयुक्तात्मा सर्वत्र समदर्शन: that means “every living being has one energy/god and that god/energy carries everyone. one should see everyone and everywhere with equal eye.

These qualities enhanced her magical and charismatic personality -that attracted everyone towards her and she was blessed with many normal and loving relationships.  One of them is her relationship with her sister. My mother-mausi both modeled the love and relationship of Ramayan in modern era. My mother was always there for my mausi and my mausi’s respect flowed through her children, daughter in laws and grand children. They both maintained that relationship till their last breath.

Hari ka bhajan karo/Man par vijay karo wahi nar nar hai.

If only bathing in ganga brought enlightenment, the fish should be first one to achieve that.

No one becomes enlightened by just growing long hair, peacocks have 5 feet long feather.

Similarly, by only shaving off hair, no one gets insight.  Look at sheeps they get shaved daily.

Ganga ke nahaye se kawan nar tari gai, machali n tarai jaka jal hee men ghar hai

Jata ke barhaye se kawan nar, morwa n tarai jako sawa haath par hai

Mund ke mundaye se kawan nar tari gai, bhendwa n tari jako roj hee mundan hai

Ramayan- original was written around 5000-7000 years ago. This is a story of sacrifice, unselfishness, and respect for elders.  It highlights loving relationships between siblings, parent-child, teacher-student and friend/neighbor and husband-wife.  She wished for daughters have good married life like the main characters of Ramayan.  She brought us to gangaji early in the morning to do certain pooja for that.  I also followed her rule to read Ramayan everyday before breakfast.  I’ve picked a piece that I sang every morning in addition to other reading. This has several different tunes and perhaps they are from my great grand father.

Oh goddess, you know my desire very well because you live inside everyone’s heart. That is why there is  no need to verbalize it.  The goddess was pleased and said Oh seeta, your desire will be fulfilled. You will get the husband you want. He is beautiful, compassionate and will honor your love and goodness.  All friends rejoiced with seeta.

Jai jai jai giri