First Trial Run
What if people come late?
send reminder just before the call
Check-in - 30 sec - how are you today.
how to have a deeper check-in
Closing
How To Empathy Circle?
Want people to already know how to take parso we can save this time
Topic:? What are your feeling and thoughts about introducing compensation into the empathy circle.? or whatever is on your mind.
Time limit? 5 min
How to if people do not know how to Empathy Circle.
Exercises
Confidentiality
Feedback about this Circle
what is important insight.
Edwin notes
Eye Gazing
hard with me in the middle of it. I can look into my own eyes.
Feelings of Charging for Empathy Circles.
will people take part? the marketing part of it
and the potential for growth and involvement.
to have a support group
a motivation for innovation
wanted high level of demand before charging.
I didn't charge except for Huffington post corporate circle
The facilitator is key - I've seen that matters. they create a certain quality.
Feel some freedom to not be responsible for facilitating.
closed groups do create depth and safety.. so this is is important and precious.
learn so much from people
How to create the Demand
part of an organized cultural change engine
a new type of social political process
Cultural Change
the means are the end
the empathy circle is a minial practice for my safety.. I can relax.... and feel comfortable.
types of groups
open free
one facilitator
rotating facilitator
closed free
closed Paid
On Mon, Oct 12, 2026 at 8:26 AM Ingrid Hirtz wrote:
Dear Beata, Edwin, Teri, Vicki and William,
This is your reminder that our series of empathy circles that model the "paid circle" will start on Thursday 10 am, PST.
I will send you another mail with a confidential agreement for you to sign, and some other info within a couple of days.
Please let me know if you are not able to join us this Thursday.
Warmly,
Ingrid
====================================
Hello,
It is special to me to deepen our connections by exploring a shared goal through empathy circles.
One of the many things I love about empathy circles that we use a light touch when facilitating. So I want to keep my request for feedback also light and easy, not laborious.
Would you be willing to share one new insight you had in regards to the topic: "What feelings and thoughts come up in me when I think about introducing financial compensation for the facilitator" ( or any other feelings and thoughts that you want to share). I'd like to hear from you via email, ideally by Monday to give me time to think about the next topic,
I am happy to hear anything you have to say!
Here is my insight: Could we create a new, different, empathic container in which these "paid circles" are offered as part of the building of a culture of empathy, kind of a social change engine that sustains itself.
With much appreciation to each of you,
Ingrid
Dear Folks,
My history with the SB Men’s Circle informs my feedback about money.
When I originally joined the Men’s Circle there were two leaders in place. Michael was the primary (and charismatic) leader and Jim was his assistant/trainee.
The fee was upfront for a cycle (typically 12 weeks with one meeting per week). I believe it was something like $120 per person per cycle.
When the leaders left, the group changed to a “leaderful” structure with no hierarchy. The “fee” became “dues” and the amount was greatly reduced to, I think, $25 per person per cycle.
No one is paid and the dues are used to pay for expenses like chairs and room rentals. There is an additional fee for a retreat each cycle to cover food and lodging costs.
There is a volunteer treasurer who receives no compensation other than the gratitude of his circle mates.
So I guess my initial feeling about paying for a facilitator is to question what this person would offer beyond what any of us in the circle could provide. A list of facilitator responsibilities might be helpful here.
I really appreciated our discussion about how to give this idea some legs. The analogy of a cell comes to mind. The structure we create should be like DNA - all the information necessary to maintain the circle’s health and to reproduce itself.
Hope this is helpful.
Ingrid
I think facilitators would like the quality of having a community and support group for themselves to discuss questions and learnings about hosting paid empathy circles. I know for me it is very valuable.
There can be a variety of Empathy Circles offered so there is no barrier to entry.
1. as now, people host free empathy circles.
2. there are free empathy circles with rotating facilitations
3. Paid Facilitator Empathy Circles.
many more varieties could be created. The social transformation circles came up as compared to a therapy type.
I asked AI to flesh this out
A spectrum of Empathy Circle models can ensure both zero barrier to entry and a viable financial engine for facilitators and movement infrastructure. Below is an organized breakdown of potential circle formats, categorized by operational structure and focus area, along with the distinct advantages and disadvantages of each.
1. General & Access-Oriented Formats
A. Free Public Empathy Circles / Cafés (Open Drop-In)
Description: Free, open-to-the-public sessions held on platforms like Zoom or in public spaces, open to newcomers and experienced participants alike.
Advantages:
Absolute lowest barrier to entry: No cost, no long-term commitment required.
Top-of-funnel reach: Acts as an introduction for curious people to experience the process before taking facilitator training or joining paid cohorts.
Diverse mixing: Brings together participants from entirely different walks of life.
Disadvantages:
High drop-in attrition: Unpredictable attendance from week to week.
Facilitation overhead: Facilitators often need to repeatedly explain basic rules to first-timers.
Financial sustainability: Facilitators do volunteer labor, making full-time devotion difficult.
B. Free Circles with Rotating Peer Facilitation (Co-Op Model)
Description: Ongoing, free groups where participants take turns acting as facilitator and timekeeper rather than relying on a designated host.
Advantages:
Deep peer empowerment: Completely de-hierarchical; reinforces that the structure belongs to everyone.
Skill deepening: Every member gets regular practice holding space, enforcing timing, and managing group boundaries.
Zero monetary cost: Retains complete accessibility.
Disadvantages:
Variable facilitation quality: Newer facilitators may struggle to redirect dominant speakers or manage conflict smoothly.
Diffused accountability: Without a dedicated host, session scheduling, reminders, and platform logistics can fall through the cracks.
C. Dedicated Paid Facilitator Circles (Professional Personal Support)
Description: Closed, multi-week cohorts (e.g., 6 participants meeting weekly for 120 minutes) where a trained facilitator is compensated by participant fees.
Advantages:
Financial sustainability: Creates a legitimate profession and income source, incentivizing facilitators to work full-time within the empathy movement.
Higher participant commitment: Financial investment leads to lower no-show rates and stronger cohort continuity.
Funding infrastructure: A percentage of fees can directly support non-profit movement infrastructure like The Empathy Center.
Disadvantages:
Financial barrier to entry: Excludes participants who cannot afford regular fees.
Consumer expectations: Paying participants may expect clinical, therapeutic results rather than a peer-based listening dynamic.
Administrative overhead: Requires fee collection, onboarding agreements, refund policies, and platform management.
D. Hybrid / Sliding-Scale & "Pay-What-You-Can" Circles
Description: Fixed cohorts where participants pay what they can afford, or where full-paying participants sponsor scholarship seats for others.
Advantages:
Balanced accessibility and compensation: Blends financial support for the facilitator with equity for lower-income participants.
Community solidarity: Fosters an ethos of mutual aid and collective generosity.
Disadvantages:
Income unpredictability: Makes revenue forecasting difficult for facilitators.
Social awkwardness: Without automated anonymous payment tiers, members can feel self-conscious about what they pay relative to peers.
2. Functional & Thematic Formats
E. Social Transformation / Activist Circles
Description: Circles focused on addressing societal challenges, systemic change, movement strategy, or political divides (e.g., Bridging Divides, Climate Action, social justice dialogues).
Advantages:
Action- and purpose-driven: Appeals to activists, community organizers, and civic leaders looking for productive dialogue tools.
Cross-partisan bridging: Can de-escalate polarization and hostility on contentious political and social issues.
Disadvantages:
High emotional tension: Strong ideological convictions can lead to heated moments, requiring experienced, unflinching facilitation.
Risk of intellectualizing: Conversations can drift into abstract debate or policy arguments rather than personal, empathic connection.
F. Peer "Therapy" / Personal Support Circles
Description: Intimate, closed cohorts focused on emotional processing, personal vulnerability, grief, life transitions, and self-care.
Advantages:
Affordable mental health alternative: Provides deep emotional relief and reduces isolation at a fraction of the cost of clinical psychotherapy.
Skill acquisition: Participants don't just receive support—they actively learn active listening and emotional presence.
Disadvantages:
Boundary and liability risks: Participants in severe distress may treat the circle as medical psychotherapy or crisis intervention.
Emotional fatigue: Holding deep emotional weight over multiple consecutive weeks can drain peer listeners if sessions are not well-paced.
G. Relationship & Couples Empathy Circles
Description: Specialized circles designed for couples, family members, or co-parents to practice speaking and reflecting between each other with an impartial structure.
Advantages:
Immediate relational impact: Directly breaks reactive conversational loops and defensive habits between partners.
Clear structure: Provides a neutral, timed container that prevents interrupting or talking over one another.
Disadvantages:
High volatility: Intimate relationship patterns often bring entrenched emotional triggers into the room.
Triangulation risks: Partners may unconsciously attempt to pull the facilitator into an adjudicator or referee role.
H. Institutional & Workplace Empathy Circles
Description: Circles contracted by businesses, non-profits, or educational institutions to improve internal team culture, psychological safety, and cross-departmental collaboration.
Advantages:
High earning potential: Organizations have dedicated professional development and team-building budgets, making this a strong revenue engine.
Broad cultural reach: Introduces the practice to mainstream professionals who might never seek out a personal support circle.
Disadvantages:
Power imbalances: Hierarchies (e.g., manager and direct report in the same circle) can chill authentic, vulnerable sharing.
Mandatory participation drag: If attendance is required by leadership, resistance and cynicism can undermine the empathic spirit.