Then it was all down to Clover to finish things off. We had expected her to calve before Bramble, but as cattle can be 2 weeks either side of their predicted date and she was showing no signs of anything starting we continued to watch.
Every day we'd wonder whether she was holding her tail to the side or whether there was a trace of mucus that might signal a calf was on its way. Each day nothing would materialise and Clover would graze and lie in the field looking uncomfortably round and growing a bigger udder.
Then about a fortnight after we had thought she may deliver we found her at the late afternoon check licking a dead calf. It was perfectly formed and still fairly warm so she'd only recently calved it but there was no sign of what had gone wrong. Whether it had died in the last days of pregnancy and that was why she was late delivering, or whether it was a malpresentation or difficult calving for her we'll never know. But it felt awful, especially sitting beside her as she licked and called to it, clearly still hopeful it would take a breath and shake its head.
We left them together for a day, so that she could understand that it was gone and mourn in her own way, before carrying the body back up the hill with heavy hearts of our own. Moments like these give rise to near overwhelming feelings of self-doubt and failure and your mind continuously cycles through the "what ifs". But the reality is that we may not have been able to change the outcome no matter what we did.
Clover continued to call for a few days and didn't want us going anywhere near where the calf had been born but slowly she returned to her usual self, rejoined the herd and let us scratch her shoulder again at feeding time.