Jared Vs. Jake
Jake, Jared, and Julian were brothers who liked to meet up once a month at Jake’s mansion to play poker. Jake was 10 months older than Jared and they were both great players. Julian was two years younger than Jared and was really only there to give up his money, make up the numbers, and watch as Jake and Jared battled it out.
The older brothers were more like twins and had always competed fiercely against each other. That was why they were successful in everything they did, from winning school trophies for Chess, Science, Football, Basketball, and Swimming, as well as being successful businessmen; Jake was already a millionaire and Jared was sure to be one too, one day.
As long as there was an element of competition involved, Jake and Jared were in, but their real passion was poker. As soon as they came across the game as teenagers, they were hooked. Jared was probably the better player, but he was also a terrible gambler and didn’t know when to walk away.
Now in their thirties, they were at Jake’s mansion as usual and were two hours into a game. Julian was out, leaving Jake and Jared heads up as usual, with Jake sitting comfortably with over two thirds of the chips.
“Next time you come, don’t bring salted peanuts. You always bring popcorn, what’s with this shit?” Jake complained, despite stuffing his hand into the bowl and scooping out a handful of peanuts.
“Sorry, they were out of popcorn so I grabbed some nuts instead.” Jared replied.
“Never mind, at least Julian came through with the crisps and sweets. Now that he’s out, how about we raise the stakes and play for some real money, call it £300 for the winner.” Jake suggested.
“You would say that now you’re up. Nah, let’s stick to £50.” Jared said.
They carried on playing and chips exchanged hands with Jake slowly chipping away until he had a good three quarters of the chips.
“I feel bad I’m about to take your money,” Jake jibbed.
“Don’t,” Jared replied. “You’re not gonna win.”
“Doesn’t look like it,” Jake said, looking down at his huge pile of chips.
“Well if you feel so confident, how about this for a bet. If you win a single one of our next 10 games, I’ll give you £300, but if you don’t, you owe me 10 grand.” Jared suggested.
“Don’t be daft.” Jake said.
“I’m not being daft. Don’t be a pussy. If I lose a single game, I’ll give you £300, but if I win the next 10 games, you owe me £10,000. And we can even include this game, £300 if you beat me.”
“What! £300 if I win this game that’s already in the bag?” Jake said.
“Sure,” replied Jared confidently.
“What if I win one of the next 10 games?” piped in Julian.
“Don’t be daft little brother.” both Jake and Jared said in unison, causing all three to stop and have a giggle for a minute.
“And don’t you be daft Jared,” said Jake, “There’s no point in throwing your money away. I’ve practically won. I’d be robbing you of another £250.”
“We’ll see. We got a deal or what?” Jared asked.
“Not yet, I want £300 for every game I win.” Jake said.
“Sure, we got a deal?” Jared asked.
“Deal,” they both said as they shook.
The game continued and Jake’s cockiness slowly evaporated as his pile of chips dwindled whilst Jared’s increased. Once Jared was chip leader, it wasn’t long until he had won.
“Unlucky,” Jared said as he shook Jake’s hand.
“You were just lucky. There’s no way you're winning nine more.”
“We’ll see about that. Just be sure to have my £10,000 ready for me in nine month’s time. Night Jake, night Julian.”
…
To the disbelief of both older and younger brother, over the next eight months, Jared won each game and they were now sitting round the table ready to start the tenth and final game.
“Peanuts again? When you gonna start bringing popcorn, or at least some decent nuts like cashews or pistachios?” Julian asked as they prepared the table with snacks and poker chips.
“When you live on peanuts, peanuts are all you can afford. Don’t worry, I’ll be flush by the end of the night so good snacks will be back on the menu.”
“Can you both just shut up about food and help me set up?” Jake said irritably.
“What’s with the foul mood? Pissed off that I’m gonna take your £10,000 tonight?” Jared taunted.
“Dream on, ain’t no way you're gonna win tonight. I’m pissed because I’m hungry. Mallory has got me on this intermittent fasting diet, so I can’t eat anything until 9pm. I’ve only been doing it a week but I’ve already lost 5lbs.”
“You’re about to lose a lot more than £5, ain't that right Jared?” said Julian, but looking at his middle brother he didn’t appear to have the same cocksure confidence that he had in previous games.
“Yeah, that’s right.” Jared said, putting on his poker face.
The game got underway as usual at 7pm and unsurprisingly, Julian was out first after about an hour, going all in and giving his remaining chips to Jake.
Julian then dealt as Jake and Jared went heads up. Jake played cautiously. He used his stack of chips to bully Jared, slowly chipping away until it was 8:50 and Jared was down to his final few chips.
“Let’s take a break.” Jared said after losing yet another hand.
“No chance, I’ve got you beaten, just admit when you’ve lost.”
“All I need is a chip and chair, plus a crap. We’re having a break.” and before Jake could complain Jared had left the room.
…
“You took your time.” Jake complained.
“These things can’t be rushed, just like me taking all your money. Speaking of time, “ Jared said looking up at the clock, “aren’t you allowed to eat now? Get some food in you, you’re a nightmare when you’re hangry.”
“Am not,” Jake said, digging into the snacks.
They played on. Jared doubled the few chips that he had, then doubled them again. Then the blinds went up and Jared only had enough chips left for a few hands. Luckily, he doubled up again and was out of danger for the time being. Two lucky hands later and Jared had clawed his way back. Each brother had roughly an equal amount of chips. It was at this point that Jake suspected that Jared was cheating, and had done something when he went to the toilet for so long. However, try as he might, he couldn't think what it could be.
And then it was all over.
Jake raised.
Jared called.
Jake re-raised.
Jared called.
Jake went all in.
Jared called.
Jake lost.
Jared won.
Stunned, Jake went to his vault, took out some cash and paid his brother the agreed amount. “Well done, let yourselves out, I’m going to bed.” and with that said Jake wandered off down the hall in a daze, leaving his younger brothers to clear the table.
“So, how did you manage to pull that off?” Julian asked in a whisper.
“Julian, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”
“Yeah, you do. You scammed him, and if you didn’t scam him you hustled him.”
“Again, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Here, have a grand and don’t let Jake know I gave it you or he’ll think that he actually was scammed and we were both in on it.”
“Sure, I can keep a secret,” Julian said as he pocketed the wad of notes.
“You and me both.” Jared thought.
…
Many years later Jake died of old age, the first of the three brothers to pop his clogs. Jared and Julian were hobbling away from Jake’s grave, memories whirling through their brains as a crisp winter breeze stung their faces and dried their tears.
“I never did tell you how I won that £10,000 from Jake, did I?”
“Which one?” Julian asked, then gave out a chuckle.
“Indeed, which one,” Jared said as he chuckled along with Julian. Over the years he had offered Jake the same bet, usually during times of financial hardship or when he wanted to take the family on holiday and didn’t want to wait for his work bonus.
“I must’ve had 100k off him easily.” Jared confessed.
“120k to be exact. Don’t forget that you’ve always given me at least 10% of your winnings Bro, I’ve been keeping track all these years and I’ve had £15,000 from you. Well, from Jake really but you know what I mean.” Julian looked at Jared as they continued towards the cemetery exit. “So how did you do it?”
“You wanna know how I did it?” Jared asked.
“Nah, take it to your grave.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Course I want to know, spill the beans.”
“Well, it all happened that night we had the first 10k bet. I was at the corner shop picking up the popcorn but they didn’t have any, so I grabbed the nearest thing which just so happened to be peanuts. Now when Jake started eating the peanuts that night, I slowly noticed what I thought was a tell, and sure enough I was right. You see, when Jake had something good and ate salted peanuts, but only salted peanuts, he’d start rummaging in the back of his teeth with his tongue for bits of stuck peanut and then he’d lick his lips in a certain way.”
Julian stopped walking, a look of disbelief quickly melted into one of recollection as he searched his memory and could indeed find one filed away of Jake licking his chops at the poker table. It gave him a smile.
Jared turned to him and mirrored his smile, “So you see, little brother, all I had to do was show up and provide the peanuts.”