Francine, 19 was too good to be true, and Robert, 18 knew it.
“Catfish for sure,” Jerry said, hovering over his best friend and looking at his latest online love interest over his shoulder. Jerry looked away from the screen and surveyed the dingy bedroom that he’d just entered. “You need to clean up this room, get some sunshine in your life.”
Robert looked around in the gloom at his filthy room before turning back to the computer screen. “It’s a shame really,” Robert mused as he absentmindedly used the mouse to scroll through the conversations he’d had with Francine since they both swiped right a week ago. “We have so much in common, did I tell you we were both at the last year’s DeathMaxxFive concert?”
“Yes, like a million times. Wonder if she’s worked out that your profile picture is fake?” Jerry said.
“Most probably,” Robert replied, comparing the handsome model with piercing blue eyes and rugged features to scrawny excuse for a human being that hadn’t even got out of his pajamas yet, even thought it was almost 3pm.
“Well you’re both gonna have to come clean sooner or later, unless you’re thinking of getting plastic surgery and start hitting the gym.”
“You’re right and she’s online. I’ll tell her now.” Robert began to type:
You’ve probably guessed that I’m not the man in my picture, just like you’re not really an Eastern European model. That’s the only lie though, everything else I’ve said is true. How about you?
He hit send and waited, but not for long. Her reply read:
Finally!!!!! I knew we were both kidding each other and ourselves. Send me a picture or the real you and I’ll do the same.
Robert was considering which picture he could send when Jerry took the mouse and clicked on the video call button.
“Jerry, you idiot!” Robert screamed before jumping out of his chair and running behind his desk
“Don’t worry, she’s not gonna answer.” Jerry said as he sat down in the recently vacated chair. “And if she does, I’ll pretend to be you. You’ve not spoken to her yet, have you?”
“No, not yet. Jeez, don’t screw it up if she answers.” Robert said, a pleading look in his eyes.
“Don’t worry, it looks like your lady friend is…Hello Francine, wow, wow, look at you. I’ve got a reason to hide my ugly mug but look at you…” Jerry turned on the charm as Robert remained frozen in horror behind the computer.
“That’s very kind of you Robert, and there’s no need to put yourself down. I think you are very…very dashing!” She replied, followed by flirtatious laughing.
As the conversation progressed, Robert edged his way from around the back of his desk. Ensuring that he remained out of view, he looked at Francine for the first time and smiled, for she was very attractive. He looked back and forth between his online love interest and his best friend and was alarmed to see that they both smiling at each other and there was definite chemistry between the two. Before the flirting could go on any longer, Robert went behind the desk again and motioned for Jerry to cut the conversation short.
Jerry looked up and stopped mid sentence. “I’d love to talk more face-to-face but I’ve got to help my friend with something. Chat online later?”
“Sure Robert, see you later,” she said.
Before Jerry could hang up, a thought crossed his mind and he took the thread of inspiration and ran with it. “Wait. Before you go, do you wanna meet up tonight?”
Robert winced thinking that Francine would know the young man sitting in front of her was not the real ‘Robert’; they’d just been having a conversation before Jerry arrived and she had told him she had to work this evening on a university project. Then another thought crossed his mind: Was Jerry planning for Robert to meet up with Francine or did he plan on meeting up with her himself?
“I’ve got that project to finish. We were just discussing it.”
“Sorry, I guess the excitement of seeing the real you for the first time messed with my brain.”
“Cool it Casanova, I’m free after the deadline. Meet me tomorrow at Benny’s. You know it?”
“Yeah, opposite that new Starbucks.”
“That’s the one. I’ll be there at at 3:30. Can’t wait to finally meet up.”
“Me too, chat later.”
“You idiot!” Robert exploded once he was sure the video call had ended. “What did you do that for?”
“Relax bro. I got you a date, didn’t I?” Jerry said.
“No, you got yourself a date. I can’t believe you were flirting with her!”
“I was just chatting. And it’s not like I was me, I was you.”
“Yeah, that’s another problem. What’s she gonna think when I turn up tomorrow instead of you?”
“Relax, we’ll work something out.” Jerry said, before sitting down on Robert’s unmade bed to think. “How about I turn up for your date at Benny’s and you wait across the street in the Starbucks? When Francine arrives I’ll explain the situation, then wave for you to come over and take my place?”
“What if she takes one look at me and wants to run a mile? It’s okay for you, you didn’t fall out of the ugly tree” Robert said.
“Bro, you’ve got to stop putting yourself down. So what you’ve got a couple of spots? You’ve also got great hair, great eyes, and perfect teeth. Plus, like you said, you’ve got loads in common.” Jerry said.
………………
At 3:20, Robert walked into the Starbucks as planned, ordered a drink, then took a window seat overlooking Benny’s, where he could see Jerry being led to an outdoor table. Jerry would explain to Francine that the real ‘Robert’ was very foolish and shy, and had hidden behind his webcam when Jerry started the video call. Jerry would then point across the street, which was Robert’s cue to wave and make his way over to Barry’s.
His date arrived promptly at 3:30 and they started chatting away. They were still chatting away 10 minutes later and Robert was about to leave the Starbucks but Jerry looked up from his date for the first time and pointed directly to Robert. Strangely, his date did the same. Why are they both pointing at me? Robert thought before realising that his date was pointing at someone else, someone sitting to his right. He followed the direction the finger was pointing to see a young woman sitting four stools further down the window wearing a DeathMaxxFive t-shirt. She was looking at him and smiling.
“Robert?” Francine asked.
“Francine?” he replied.
“Wanna go and join our friends?” he asked.
“Sure,” she replied.
So the real Robert and the real Francine crossed the road to join their friends on the first of many double dates.