It’s been a year since I lost you and there's no light at the end of this tunnel.
I’ve looked high and low for the life insurance policy, both methodically and in a drunken rage, but it’s not here.
This afternoon I went to a clairvoyant, hoping that you would give me a sign.
The woman on stage knew your name and could see my pain. She had a message from you.
“Behind…I’m getting a message, something about behind…behind…Beehive!”
I knew it was a waste of time. Still, I went into the attic and searched around where we had a wasps’ nest the first year we moved in together.
Now I’m sitting looking at my favourite picture of you. I never told you this but it’s from one of Holly’s Halloween parties, the one where I’m a ghost and you’ve got your make-up and hair done like Amy Winehouse.
God, I miss you.
I would’ve learned to live with my grief, given time.
I could’ve handled the crippling debt.
But together they're a deadly combination and I can’t do this anymore.
Beehive? We never went anywhere near beehives, she must’ve been full of shit.
Unless…
I’ve found the policy!
It was behind the back of the drawer where the Halloween photo sits, the one with you sporting a beehive hairdo.
But still, it changes nothing. I’ve lost you and there is no light at the end of this tunnel.