Musicus

Mfw lowly EOPs will defile Musicus with their dirty paws: https://i.imgur.com/y3B6bY1.jpg

This review is split into three parts. Enjoy at your discretion.

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What exactly does a 1/10 mean? Many a philosopher have pondered this simple yet complex question, to varying degrees of success.

Aristotle: Kusoge is bitter, but its shit is sweet.

Sun Tzu: The supreme art of kusoge is to subdue the enemy without being good.

Rene Descartes: The reading of all kusoge is like a conversation with the dumbest minds of past centuries.

George W Bush: You teach a child to read Japanese, and he or her will be able to read kusoge.

And here I stand, ready to enter this treacherous pit myself, throwing my own ring into this fight. So what makes a kusoge something deserving of that 1/10 title, that elusive title that is coveted by so many works, so many stories.

Simply put, a 1/10 is something that is able to deceive so many others with its tricks and flashes, putting these poor souls into a daze. It is only when a brave hero comes and eviscerates the demon is the veil lifted and masses realize the err of their ways. And so, I shall act as the martyr of those tortured souls, rescuing them from an almost certain doom. Let the grim tale begin anew…

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Starting off is the writing of Musicus. The author’s writing reads like a middle school textbook. While it might be simple to read from a technical standpoint and there is nothing separating it from the pack, it drones on and on, boring the reader with surface level information and dialogue that do not amount to much. Such, the comparison to a middle school textbook. It has no advanced terminology, and yet, it is still a chore to read nonetheless. There is no spice, no spark to keep the reader engaged, so the text ends up being an overly objective barebones analysis of the events on screen.

No where else is this as apparent as the [spoiler]funeral scene in the common route. This is supposed to be a hard hitting scene, especially since one of the seemingly main characters died. However. This funeral scene is written like any other ordinary SoL scene. It has no emotion attached to it, it doesn’t make the reader care that said character passed away. It diminishes the emotions of the characters and not really expanding on the emotions and descriptions of the funeral is a lost asset and only a microcosm of the many issues with Musicus[/spoiler].

This type of story-telling that relies too much on objective descriptions instead of showing off the characters and their feelings is damaging to the product as a whole. There is a distinct lack of flair, and the onus is on the writer. As such, the element Musicus named its title after, music, is another component where there is no flair. While Musicus tries to flaunt its musical elements, it all comes crashing down when loads of miniscule music information that is never brought up again is dumped on the reader, functioning exactly like a textbook. The lack of any effort to make it appealing at all is one of the many things that Musicus fails at spectacularly due to the writing.

The characters too are damaged by this writing style. They are caricatures of certain archetypes instead of being real breathing characters that are allowed to grow and develop organically. Kei, for example, is a living example of “good boy gone bad”. He is nothing beyond and his character falls flat because of it. There is no growth or development for him as the story moves along because he is trapped in his mold. Every one of the main characters are molded to reflect the ideas of the writer rather than being actual characters.

There are also plenty of side characters that are just there in order to add irrelevant plot points and distract from the rest of the story. Kei’s childhood friend fits that to a tea, her addition to the story being so it can distract itself and make itself seem grander than it really is. Since the ideas of the writer can only provide so much content, the story has to be bloated with various trite elements to make it a hollow shell rather than emptiness incarnate.

Musicus feels like it was written based on certain ideas, which is why the characters suffer from terrible writing, as they are molded to fit the writer’s ideological whims. They are only there to service those ideas and nothing else. Musicus is an ideas first story and it shows how everything else suffers in favour of those ideas, which is not how any proper story should function at all.

And this leads to the biggest issue with Musicus, it is a political work. By political, I do not mean it dabbles in political debates and overtly talks about various political philosophies. Rather, it is politically motivated and it is clear the writer has a politically influenced agenda whilst writing Musicus. Determined to lay out his political beliefs, the undertones of the writing and story are blatantly filled with political messaging. One greater example is a conversation with Kei and his father. Keihas a certain belief and his father has an opposing belief. However, Kei’s beliefs are shown as superior as he wins the debate over his father only because the story completely lambastes his father’s beliefs without giving him a chance to speak his mind. These beliefs in questions are politically charged and the fact the writer is blatantly favouring one side over another is frankly disgusting. Reading through this conversation was like watching Ben Shapiro debate a kindergarten. Of course Ben Shapiro is going to win because the kindergarten is not given a fair opportunity. Hence, this is how Musicus treats its political messaging: By completely lambasting the beliefs of those the writer disagrees with and instead championing the writer’s own beliefs by completely ignoring and belittling the beliefs that oppose his own, not even giving those opposing a chance to speak for itself. This is pure and blatant propaganda at its finest. Every little interaction is dyed with this subtle political advertising, which is not present at all in most, if not all, other VNs. Therefore, Musicus reads more like a political advert as opposed to a true and blue story. The only people inept enough to not notice this political messaging are those who are unable to perceive political thought or those who are fully blinded by the writer’s ideals to think for themselves, essentially becoming another part of the herd.

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This portion of the review is sung to the tune of “I believe” from The book of Mormon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVJgmp2Tc2s

Ever since I was a JOP, I tried to read the best

So what happened?

My JOP overlords all said I was blessed

So what happened?

It was supposed to be all so exciting

To be reading Musicus hook-free

But I allowed my faith to be shaken

Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed to read kamige

To read things EOPs never dared

This was the time for cockiness

So then why was I so scared?

A rabid bunch who are intellectually inferior

What's so scary about that?

I must trust that Japanese is mightier

And always has my back

Now I must be completely devout

I can't have even one shred of doubt

I believe that Setoguchi wrote the bible

I believe that he sent his minions to spread his word

And I believe that ancient JOPs built shrines

And worshipped pixels on a screen

I am a JOP Sheep and a JOP Sheep just believes

You cannot just believe part-way

You have to believe in it all

My problem was doubting Lord JOP’s will

Instead of reading more

I can't allow myself to have any doubt

It's time to set my worries free

Time to show the world what llee1000 is about

And share the power inside of me

I believe that Lord JOP has a kamige for all of us

I believe that plan involves me getting smarter because of Japanese

And I believe that the current President of FEMDIC

Mister Lord JOP, speaks directly to Setoguchi

I am a JOP Sheep

And, dang it, a JOP Sheep just believes

(A JOP Sheep just believes)

I know that I must go and read the things Lord JOP commands

I realize now why he sent me here

If you ask Lord JOP in faith, he will always answer you

Just believe in him and have no fear

(General, we have an intruder, He just walked right into camp)

I believe that Ryukishi07 has a hold of you

I believe that Lord JOP has sent me here

And I believe that in 2015

Lord JOP changed his mind about EOPs

(EOPs)

You can be a JOP Sheep

A JOP Sheep who just believes

(What the fuck is this?)

And now I can feel the excitement

This is the moment I was born to do

And I feel so incredible to be sharing elitism with you

The tweets say that if you ask in faith

If you ask Lord JOP himself, you'll know

But you must ask him without any doubt

And let your JOP ego grow

(Let your JOP ego grow)

I believe that Sca-ji is the smartest man on Earth

I believe that Romeo isn’t washed up at all

And I believe that the Garden of JOP

Was in Setoguchi’s backyard

If you believe, Setoguchi will reveal it

And you'll know it's all true, you'll just feel it

You'll be a JOP Sheep

And, by gosh, a JOP Sheep just believes

(A JOP Sheep just believes)

(Just believe, a JOP Sheep just believes)

Oh, I believe

(Just believe, a JOP Sheep just)

I believe

(Believes)

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Wow, I mean wow.

You are pathetic. Like I'm not even surprised that you aren't even good, I knew you were going to suck, but right from the first line? Do you realize what you have just done? This is quite possibly the greatest failure in the history of eroge.

Renowned Scenario Writer

World Class Artist

Talented Musicians

Successful Kickstarter

Best Eroge EVER

You're pioneers lads, you’re the first eroge with all these accolades and still fucking suck.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, this is the best comedy in eroge.

Maybe I can find that talent you keep teasing us with if I squint at my computer screen because I sure as shit can't find it otherwise.

But wait, it gets even better. You lost the Getchu scenario rankings to Tsukikana. This company hadn't written a plotge in their existence. I wasn't expecting it be a cakewalk, but holy fucking shit, did you guys even try to create a story? You had one scene. Congratulations, you had your time of day like most h-scenes in VNs. Perhaps next time, you can learn basic responsibilities like cleaning up the diarrhea you spew all over the screen.

Behold everyone, Korekiyo Hanai: https://www.ethos3.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/graveyard.jpg! I think I can see him in the distance. Oh there he is, just in time to hang himself in the bathroom.

I tried to find Kei Tsushima. All I got every time I searched was a blank screen.

Just look at this treasure in this irrelevant side character: https://i.imgur.com/TI4nKDj.png. She's so irrelevant, that she's going to rope everyone into unnecessary side drama. Look irrelevant side character, I know you serve no purpose, but that's no reason to stir up drama. Great character you are.

Pictured: Mikazuki Hanai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEVhy5WS-IM

Setoguchi Ren'ya, why the hell did I think this guy was a good writer? Hold on, let me take a moment to think.

In this timeframe, I probably have done more thinking than Setoguchi did while writing this eroge.

Perhaps, we can think about how you should write eroge. How the fuck is money an issue, you guys had a fucking successful kickstarter with loyal fans willing to back you up. You knew the goal was entertainment and you failed miserably at it. You're a fucking fraud. I would say get your ass out of there, but seems like Overdrive is one step ahead of me.

Fucking hell, no wonder why Overdrive fled the ship after this. They wanted to escape with their dignity as Her Majesty's Musicus choked at everything. This is more embarrassing than that time you released a half-ass translation for Kira Kira.

Hey, maybe Overdrive decided to pay homage to their past self and not put any effort into this.

You didn't even have to because congratulations, you're the new meme of the eroge scene.

I would offer you some celebratory cake, but you'd probably choke on it.

You want my advice even though you won't take it?

Start over from scratch. I'm dead serious.

This was the year you had to show us something and you pissed all over it. You aren't winning fans with this style, you aren't winning fans with this writer and you most certainly winning anything with these nonexistent characters.

I won't even write a celebratory message for the Kickstarter, it will only remind you of failure. Just treat it like nothing happened. At least you would have been as successful in that scenario.

How many 10/10 votes does it take to gain dignity, more than 119.