Einstein Yori Ai o Komete

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Welcome back everyone, it’s your reviewer, llee1000, back with another Visual Novel review.

Oh boy, it’s been such a long time since I did one of these, but your boy is ready for yet another *clap* VN *clap* REVIEW *clap*. Before we just dive right in, make sure to EVISCERATE that like button, make sure to DING DONG that bell notification, share it with everyone you know and turn off adblock for my reviews. Your contributions mean a lot to me.

Let’s get the elephant out of the room right away: I did find the trial to be pretty decent. I noted some things it did pretty well and my general impression was that I was looking forward to what it would hold in store. Just where did Einstein go wrong and how could something betray my expectations so much? Did that sweet looking girl named Einstein really grow up into a Karen?

But before we can truly list why I feel so distraught, let’s list some positives so we can trace our line of thinking (I know, crazy concept!). Yuu Nijima’s writing in a vacuum can be good when he is trying to set a mood.

Okay, let’s get into the negatives. Hold up, before you stop me and ask for more of an explanation, I’ll get back to it later, it will be relevant later.

So I want you to imagine a science class, but it’s your substitute english teacher teaching the class. This is basically what the sci-fi boils down to in Einstein. It feels unnatural, almost as if the world was developed by someone who had no clue about science and how to organically introduce it to a new audience. During these times, it’s best to mess with the teacher and dunk on them instead of taking them seriously. And since Einstein decided halfway it wanted to be a sci-fi for no reason, it deserves all the shit it gets flung at it.

When I watch these characters, it feels I’m talking to my good buddy Alexa. I ask for a simple thing, and they deliver with something else entirely, in the most robotic fashion. It’s just hard to have a conversation when the AI is not programmed to act human. At no time did I ever feel like any of the characters feel actually developed nor did they really grow throughout the story. Ironic that a boy who built a robot was the true robot all along (among all the other “robots” that exist in the story).

And the story itself just feels like the most unsatisfying shit ever. It seemingly starts with one medium strip, signalling the coming of more equally satisfying shits to come, however the next two shits to leave our asshole are two small shit bits. It feels deflating, empty, unknown, shameful and most importantly depressing. The next shit to come out the anus next rubs is a short sharp stump that rubs against your hemorrhoids and ruptures your anus from previous battle scars. Just when we thought it was done, we feel a big one coming, so we prepare for the most epic shit of our life and instead we end up having diarrhea for a whole minute. Not only is it unsatisfying, it’s life damaging. Just as diarrhea can cause dehydration, Einstein can cause similar effects to the brain.

From my shitty (giggity) story, information on the pacing and story quality can be extrapolated, from the size and feeling of the shit respectively. The character routes are infinitely short and don’t convey anything meaningful. Two of them are painless, but just a chore to read through due to their weightless nature. However, one character route, Iina, is truly painful to read through due to the plot events that do not make sense on a conceptual or thematic level. Meanwhile, Romi’s route and the true end is just a geyser of diarrhea because Nijima does not know when to end with stuffing this geyser with everything humanly possible. Sometimes, there are limits humans aren’t meant to cross and Nijima definitely lapped those limits tenfold.

The only source of knowledge of experience. I beg to differ. With this EPIC review, I am conveying to the masses about the horrendousness of Einstein without the masses being forced to experience it themselves. Clearly, I invalidated everything about Einstein’s tagline and that makes me an extraordinaire.

Okay, let’s go back to the one sentence positive I state way back in the review. Unfortunately, the majority of Einstein does not have a mood/emotion to convey since it is too busy digging around its ass looking for more ideas to add to the shit pile of ideas. Instead of letting the atmosphere develop organically from within, Nijima opts instead to just pile on ideas that do not have any significance to the story or characters because they are not developed properly. These ideas don’t have any impact or bearing on the characters since the ideas are presented at a pace that does not give enough time to linger with the characters and make them feel salient at all. Even if the ideas were developed properly, it would not mean much since the characters that these ideas apply to are non existent, so all meaning would be lost anyways. So when I say Nijima can develop a mood in vacuum, I just mean read Koikake, k thx.

Alright, that’s all the time I got for today, I need to stretch the review out to 10 minutes for that juicy ad revenue, but no longer so I can get a perfect retention time. Remember, keep reading and always drop. Peace, from our boy llee1000.

Now a word from our sponsors

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