By: Laura Lee Cochran 2023
I am at the beginning of my Spring.
I was once at my Winter, holding dead and wilted trees limbs in a garden of graveyards. My Winter was dark and gloomy, with mist in the air. Chilling breaths called me to hide inside in fear of frostbite. My flowers had gone limp, damp, and were trampled on. I felt as if I was a living carcass of a hollow tree. Empty and barren. That the fruit of my tree had been stolen by the snowfall and my roots dried up, longing for water that didn’t exist. I was only surviving, yet slowly dying.
In the midst of my harsh Winter, I called to my God asking where he might be. For the snow kept falling, but my feeble branches could no longer hold the weight. I called to my God for help, for the emptiness Winter brought was crushing. I called to my God for deliverance. Yet he took his time. Told me he was working in my Winter. I thought how? How can my God work in the cool and dark places of my harsh Winter? Much less, my Winter that sought to take my last chilling breath?
So I became angry with my God. He obviously didn’t care about my Winter. Maybe he thought it wasn’t so bad. And it seemed He wasn’t going to free me from it either. Having hope in a harsh Winter is not for the faint of heart, and my hope was swallowed up by a snow storm that came all too suddenly.
So I cried to my God. I didn’t understand. I felt as though he had abandoned me out in the cold with nothing to keep me warm. Why would he allow my vines to shrivel up and for all of the plants in my garden to suffer? My garden was suffering. I was suffering. And it seemed like my God didn’t care.
It’s then when my God answered my cry. Not in letting me leave my Winter. Not in telling me it will be over soon or that I was overreacting. Not even telling me he was mad at me for what I had thought of him. He didn't look at my garden of graveyards in pity, but he looked with compassion. He gave me His hand and sat with me in my dying garden. He spoke warm words to me, filling up my hollow tree. He took out my old roots and began planting something new, even in the midst of a chilly atmosphere.
In moments where the cold became unbearable, my God held me in His arms. Told me He was with me and would never leave me. My Winter didn’t change, but my God was with me. And in those nights when I was freezing, shaking from the cold and my tears turned to icicles before they even left my eyes, I knew I could call on my God, and he would come. His light shined through the dark misty air of my Winter. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt sunlight. And that sunlight changed everything.
For my God is redeeming me. That is why I am at the beginning of my Spring. Because my Winter is not gone yet, but I see blossoms of hope and trust. Flowers of endurance and character growing in mesmerizing shapes and colors. I see a tree of intimacy growing so tall and strong with deep roots. It proclaims that my love for my God can never be shaken ,and His love for me is my firm foundation.
My Winter is harsh, and is still chilling at times. However, through it all, there are flowers blooming. They are speaking of a life my God wishes to give me, and for that, I am thankful. That alone, is why I know my God is higher than my Winter. Because even in this harsh Winter, my God is blooming flowers.