Be a Good Listener
Be a Good Listener
In a recent survey of the Academy of Certified Administrative Managers three hundred members were asked: "What abilities or competencies do you consider to be the 20 per cent that yields the 80 per cent results?" This 20:80 rule has its origin in the well-known Pareto law, sometimes expressed in the statement, vital few versus trivial many.
The survey led to a consensus among twenty critical managerial skills, of which four were rated by the participants as 'super critical', seven as 'highly critical' and nine as 'critical'. The four super-critical activities were found to be, in descending order of importance in order of importance:
• active listening
• giving clear effective instructions
• accepting your share of responsibility
• identifying the real problem
Isn't that interesting? All the four super-critical activities relate to communication and of these listening is considered to be the most important.
Good and Poor Listeners
What are the characteristics of good and poor listeners? Below are the traits of good and poor listeners in order of importance.
A good listener:
1. Uses eye contact appropriately.
2. Is attentive and alert to a speaker's verbal and nonverbal behavior.
3. Is patient and doesn't interrupt (waits for the speaker to finish).
4. Is responsive, using verbal and nonverbal expressions.
5. Asks questions in a non-threatening tone.
6. Paraphrases, restates or summarizes what the speaker says.
7. Provides constructive (verbal or nonverbal) feedback.
8. Is empathic (works to understand the speaker).
9. Shows interest in the speaker as a person.
10. Demonstrates a caring attitude and is willing to listen.
11. Doesn't criticize, is nonjudgmental.
12. Is open-minded.
A poor listener:
1. Interrupts the speaker (is impatient).
2. Doesn't give eye contact (eyes wander).
3. Is distracted (fidgeting) and does not pay attention to the speaker.
4. Is not interested in the speaker (doesn't care; daydreaming).
5. Gives the speaker little or no (verbal or nonverbal) feedback.
6. Changes the subject.
7. Is judgmental.
8. Is closed-minded.
9. Talks too much.
10. Is self-preoccupied.
11. Gives unwanted advice.
12. Too busy to listen.
Be Active
On the way up the career ladder, your listening skills should improve. Hourly employees may spend 30 percent of their time listening, while managers often spend 60 percent, and executives 75 percent or more. Does effective listening lead to promotion, or do higher-ups learn to listen better because they must? It is probably a combination. Essentially, to be more successful, you must be a better listener. Better listening is also active listening.
To be an active listener, you must begin with awareness. When do others get angry with you for poor communication? When do you have problems communicating? How were you listening at these times? It takes guts, but ask others what you could do to become a better listener. Others see our faults much better than we do.
Power Listening
To be a successful listener, you must also believe that listening is power. Because our society places so much emphasis on speaking as the way to win friends and influence people, good listeners can quietly have a powerful and subversive impact. You should also remember that speakers have little power without listeners. Speakers share their wisdom and try to persuade, but listeners make meaning of what is heard -- they make the ultimate decision to act on what they hear