Kirk Kirk Kirk Sahur is a relatively unknown variant that resides in Timeline Delta. It is a sentient piece of wood that carries around a small wooden bat and has a hyper-realistic depection of Charlie Kirk's face engraved on it, complete with hair. As shown in the picture accompanying this page, it likes to dwell in places such as train stations. Really, it just like the sub-underground in general. Unlike most unique creatures in Delta, Kirk Kirk Kirk Sahur isn't that hostile. Instead, he is just easily angered and becomes extremely violent when irritated. When enraged, it will beat the nearest humans around it with its bat, bloodying them.
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Did you think this would really be a normal page? With such a title. I know that this is a joke website at its core, but there is no way in HELL that I'd let something like this slide.