Module 1

External Control Psychology versus Internal Control Psychology

The Choice Theory provides us with the tools to gain more effective control of our lives and at the same time allows us to improve the relationship with the people important to us. This introduction will give you an overview of what Choice Theory is. In addition, it will present the seven habits that are more harmful to relationships and the seven habits that are fostering the relationships.

Learning Objectives

Recognize how Choice Theory and Reality Therapy offer new ways of perceiving the world,
Describe the false beliefs embedded in external control psychology,
Name the seven disconnecting habits that destroy relationships,
Name the seven connecting habits that develop strong and healthy relationships.

Reflection 1

Compare and contrast your thoughts about how this information will change your relationship in the future.

Change is challenging for most people - for example starting a new job or even just meeting people for the first time. It is natural to feel uncomfortable, awkward, nervous and be wondering will they like me, what if I'm not what they expect, what if I don’t fit in, what will I do then ...? Unfortunately this is part of human nature.

I believe positive relationships require vulnerability - letting people in to get to know you so in turn they let you in to get to know them. If your intentions are positive and honest this leads to trust and strong relationships - personally and professionally. The first step is a choice, and if this choice is positive and begins with trust and honesty, I believe it does build strong relationships.

I have come to my own truth, after much practice, reminders and self talk, that this mindset and these feelings were indeed a choice. Now I have come to understand that most people are simply curious, they want to know who we are, they are ready to hear who we are, they are generally ready to believe in the best of us. This change in mindset required a choice.

I generally expect people to do what is right, within their personal or professional capacity, and I hold myself to the same standard.

Reflection 2

How much of the information that I have learned about Choice Theory do I now use to see the world differently and to make changes in how I process my own thinking?

“The only thing we give is information, and what you choose to do with the information is up to you. I can not control you.”

This statement is not only confusing but also concerning to me, particularly when people are beginning their learning journey in this area and believe that ‘literally.’

We are all motivated by something outside of us. Choice theory informs us that we can choose to ignore the phone from ringing or the deadlines that are due.

Choice theory also informs us that we can choose to be part of a professional organisation, knowing the expectations, knowing the objectives, knowing the commitment, knowing the criteria and knowing that if we respect these we will achieve positive outcomes for others.

There are controlling factors everywhere in life, and particularly in work. Some provide us with safety and security, others provide us with happiness and wellbeing. From an alternative perspective these controlling factors can be seen as 'information shared’ to ensure the survival of humanity.

Therefore, there are many aspect of our lives where control is inevitable, in particular if we choose to be part of a positively functioning organisation or positively functioning society. What is in realm of our control is how we choose to respond to the requirements of the organisation and wider society.

Knowing and understanding this, through Choice Theory, puts us in a place where we are able to function professionally and find positivity in our work.

Video Tutorials

Introduction videos to understanding Choice Theory - Video Tutorials

Mod.1 Reading-External Control Psychology v Internal Control Psychology.pdf

Required Reading

External Control Psychology v Internal Control Psychology