Slay the Stigma: A Huntr/x State of Mind🎤

7/31/25

👋🏽Hello Friends!👋🏽

As many others throughout the world who have Netflix (well, I didn't until I watched to have a watch party for KPDH after watching it at a friend's house), I quickly became obsessed with K-pop Demon Hunter (KPDH).

*Side note, I do strongly dislike the adjective "obsessed" because of the negative stigma around being considered obsessed in today's day and age.*

Not only is the animation superb, but the music is a true banger, and the characters are completely relatable. Please note that this post might have some spoilers. 

Like many others, I know I relate so much to Zoey for multiple reasons. I am also biracial, being half Puerto Rican and half Filipino. I am quirky and upbeat like Zoey. The biggest connection that I have with Zoey is when she believes that she's "too much but never enough."

This is a core belief that I have with my BPD (all my emotions), and yet, no matter how hard I try, everyone leaves (never being good enough).

One lyric that Zoey sings in Golden is "I lived two sides, trying to paint both sides, but I couldn't find my own place."

I struggle so much with having my place due to being afraid of my faults, personality, and emotions (basically my BPD). Growing up, I had many different friend groups, but I rarely got close to people because I was afraid. I've had many masks (which I don't believe my masks faked anything but just selected parts of my personality to meet the needs of the group), and it would constantly change depending on who I was around. I was barely ever my full self when I didn't have to wear a mask.

Mira is the one Huntr/x member that I relate to the least, but still love. She is considered the "problem child" in her family, and I can say that I perceived myself as the "problem child," whether or not it was true. 

In "What It Sounds Like," she sings how she should've let the "jagged edges meet the light instead."

And growing up, I held so much of my personality, my energy levels, and my emotions because I was always viewed as "too much" or "too depressed." I hid all of these away to avoid people not wanting to be around me.

Rumi, my girl. Being born half demon and half demon hunter, she wants the demon part of herself gone because of how she was taught that demons are all bad and shouldn't exist.

Being born with any condition, whether it be mental, physical, or intellectual, can be seen as this "demon" part of Rumi's character. Rumi can't help that she was born this way, just like we can't help or change that we were born with these conditions.

Rumi hides her patterns until they spread to her throat (her voice). For me, this is like my emotions and part of who I am, as I mentioned to Mira. But one thing I felt completely was when Rumi couldn't hide her demon patterns, and after a while, it was wearing her down. When she got too scared of her loved ones (Zoey and Mira) seeing her patterns and leaving (and probably trying to eliminate) her, you see her demon powers.

When Mira and Zoey find out about Rumi's patterns, the way they look at her breaks me because I've seen that look (and that's my GIRL). Rumi's fear became reality. She was so scared. And when my BPD episodes happen, especially the more extreme ones, I've seen that look from many people. One thing I hate being seen as is a "monster," and just like Rumi, I try to avoid that as much as possible.

Jinu, our favorite demon K-pop boy band leader, made the mistake of making a deal with the demon king, Gwi-Ma, to get him out of his poverty and "miserable" life. This deal cost him his family and soul. He was constantly reminded of abandoning his family, and he just wanted that gone. As many of us continually remember how badly we've hurt our loved ones, we can relate so much to Jinu. Jinu is more than his mistakes, and it wasn't until Rumi showed him this that he believed it.

I know when I've exploded on others during BPD episodes (which is an explanation, NEVER an excuse), I've hurt them a lot, and I hold on to that pain deep down. I've made many mistakes, and I've hurt many people. But these mistakes are not and never will be the only parts of me that define who I am. I am more than my mistakes, and so are you. Making mistakes is a part of life, but the most important thing is to learn from our mistakes.

If you haven't watched KPDH, you are missing out on a fantastic movie (okay, I'm slightly biased, but it really is a great movie). It's even appropriate for the kiddos!

Thanks for letting me nerd out about KPDH!

Until next time, friends! 💝

‐Jade