A Dose of Nature Rx🏞️

6/23//24

👋🏽Hello Friends!👋🏽

If you ask anyone who knows me personally, they will tell you that being an outdoorsy person is not one of my traits or identities. I have always been more irritable in the heat and cold, and bugs just love the taste of my blood. So I hated being outside.

A common thing that I hear from my therapist is that I should go outside. I've also heard this from other people, from friends to strangers on the internet.

Being outside was dreadful for me unless it was a tolerable (to me) temperature and bugs were non-existent, which only counts for a few weeks out of the year if I'm lucky.

When I decided to try gardening, I remember telling my closest friends that I wanted to try and be a plant mom and gardener. Her and her husband's response made me crack up when she told me, but basically the response was, "Wait, Jade, gardening? But she hates the outside." They weren't wrong. During this stage of trying gardening, I hate to admit, but I barely have a green thumb. My succulent children are still staying strong, though, I think.

During this stage, I decided that I wanted to get into animal photography. One problem here is that I have to go outside for that. Whenever I got the chance to take a photo of birds or small animals around me, I tried to tolerate being outside a little more. I took some photos of flowers and common birds, but I knew that if I wanted to get more photography practice, I had to go outside.

A few weeks ago, I found out that certain anti-depressants can cause heat intolerance.

📖What's heat intolerance?

According to Healthline.com, "heat intolerance is also called hypersensitivity to heat. Symptoms may include headache, dizziness, weakness, cramping, or nausea."

Want to learn more about heat intolerance? Click here for more information: Heat Intolerance: Causes, Signs, and Complications (healthline.com)📖

Well, guess who is the lucky one who is taking one of the medications on that list? It's me! Lucky me.

That explains that, so I decided to try and get more tolerant of heat. For a while, since the temperature started to increase, I have tried to drive without AC with the windows down. But ideally, I was trying to get used to being outside a little more to go on hikes. Going on hikes always seems to be a hobby for guys that I look for a romantic relationship with, and so far I've done a good job avoiding that.

I had my first hike last fall with someone I deeply cared about, but it was slippy. I decided to go on my second hike with a friend who I also deeply care about. I was so worried about overheating and went out of my way to get things to ensure I wouldn't overheat since this would cause irritation and no one would have fun with an irritated Jade. I packed a ton of stuff, mostly everything we could need on a hike.

The day of the hike came, and I was excited to experience something new (ish). We ended up having a lot of fun; I didn't hate it, and I think I would love to go on more hikes in the future. I'm not a hiking enthusiast, though; I don't get that idea.

My friend and I saw beautiful scenery, had a great time talking and making jokes while we rested, took a water break, and looked at the map. It truly was a great time. The breeze felt so great, and it wasn't as hot as I thought it was going to be! I did slip once during it, but no injuries! I was also starting to get exhausted and more clumsy as we walked an incline, but I am blessed to have a thoughtful and caring friend to ensure I was okay and to hold my hand when I was getting exhausted for extra support.

I learned to really stop and look at the beautiful things in life. I learned to just be more present and worry (literally) to take a step by step—this was so I wouldn't trip. I learned to breathe fresh air more mindfully. It was a great experience. 

So I can say that I am happy about the idea of the future of nature! Hopefully, I can share more of my hiking adventures with you all soon!

Until next time, friends! 💝

‐Jade

The Art of Spontaneous 😎

6/20/24

👋🏽Hello Friends!👋🏽

One thing about me is that I'm not a spontaneous person. I enjoy being organized and having a plan. Something about me is that I hate change. Ironically enough, I decided to pick a job that has consistent changes in the daily operation. I've learned to not let the changes affect me too much since this is something to expect in my workplace.

Lately, as I've been trying to heal and move forward in my recovery journey, this is the first time I'm not actively looking for a relationship. Yeah, I get lonely and in my feels, but I know this is something that I need to do so I can fully heal and fix parts of me that I want and need to fix.

Since I've been more aware that I'm alone, I've noticed I've been actively looking for new things to do, and I'm not talking about hobbies. I'm talking about going out and trying something new. For example, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to see a concert with him, and I said yes. I've never really been to a concert before. Usually, when it comes to something like this, I need to be organized and have the itinerary planned out, but I didn't have time to do that. I also didn't have expectations for how the event went, and I had a lot of fun.

Recently, I went to visit my sister-in-law's sister, who happens to also be a longtime family friend of mine. Of course, as any great host, she focused on what I wanted to do, but at this moment in time, I just wanted ✨to do things.✨ Just do something fun and live life. Originally, the plan was to go to an art museum or the Zoom, but then the idea of a wine and music festival was brought up. After a few minutes of going back and forth (not arguing, just the amount of time in between texts and making sure it was truly a want for both parties to go), we decided we were going to go. We got the tickets the day before the festival, so I had to locate a picnic tent or beach tent. This was stressful since I didn't have much time to get one, and I have heat intolerance and need to be in the shade and hydrate more. 

Also, I didn't 100% know what a picnic tent was; for anyone else who does, it's a canopy.

I was able to locate a beach tent for a good price, packed up my car the day of the festival, and headed on my way.

When I got to my SIL's sister's apartment complex, we hung out at her apartment for a little, but she had asked me if it was okay to spend the night at her boyfriend's apartment, and I knew her boyfriend. Since I was in an "adventure" mindset, I was like, "Let's do it." The wine and music festival went really well, and the three of us really enjoyed our time there. We also had a great night overall! 

Going to bed that night, I didn't realize that another adventure was about to happen the next day!

As my SIL's sister and I got up, got ready, and left her boyfriend's apartment, we got breakfast and visited this cute old town close to where she lives. This crosses "take a day trip somewhere out of my town or state" off my summer bucket list.

Now everything about this little day trip to this town was great, except the roads. I wasn't a fan of that. Everything we did while we were in this town was spontaneous. I didn't know exactly where I was going or what I was going to do next. There were a few shops that my SIL's sister wanted to take me to because of my interests, but we even saw a little railroad museum. These museums aren't usually my cup of tea, but I really needed to use the bathroom, and that was one of the only places that had a public bathroom, so we thought, "Why not?"

Something else that I got to explore was a Vinvl record store. I've never been to one before, and we spent at least 30-45 minutes there. While waiting for a price check on a few vinyl records for my SIL's boyfriend, I decided to take a look through the records. I thought about getting some vinyl records, but that would mean I would eventually need to get a record player. Thankfully, I didn't give in to my impulsiveness because having vinyl is an expensive hobby, and I already have a few expensive hobbies.

I had such a great time on my spontaneous trip with my SIL's sister, and this showed me that not having a plan at all times is okay. Just going with the flow is okay. And especially that, that is very okay if things don't always go EXACTLY to (my) plan.

I can't wait to see what other adventures I'll have this summer. I know I have a lot planned!

Until next time, friends! 💝

- Jade

A Needle in a Haystack🧷

👋🏽Hello friends!👋🏽

I remember when I was first diagnosed with BPD, I could find all this information about BPD, such as the symptoms, traits, and all someone needed to know about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).

I was able to locate therapists that specialize in DBT easily. However, being able to find a support system for individuals who also struggle with BPD was basically nonexistent. Yes, I am able to find support groups for general mental health conditions, which I ended up joining first. I decided to attend the closest NAMI county's support groups, and it was really great. For a while, I would go every week, and I got familiar with everyone and just loved being present with everyone I got close to from that group.

After some time, I've wanted to try an in-person support group. Now, this was so difficult to find, and I truly didn't understand why. When I looked on PsychologyToday for BPD or DBT support groups that are within 20 minutes of my house or workplace, there was nothing that showed up. I was able to find an in-person DBT group in a town about 45 minutes from my work and an hour from my house. and the group ran weekly. I tried it out for 6 weeks, and it was great!

The support group and group sessions really helped me move forward with using my DBT skills; however, I truly could not deal with the driving. If you know me or have even read any of my past blog posts, you'll know I really hate driving. Making this trip every Thursday was such a drag for me. I ended up not continuing for the second part of the support group due to the traveling commitment.

I was still searching for a BPD support group because I felt that I needed to just connect with individuals who could understand my thoughts and emotions more than most others.

I came across this organization that says that the only mental health condition that it educates, supports, and advocates for is BPD. Amazing, right?! It is just what I was looking for! I was super excited. As I researched the organization more (you should always research organizations before you are willing to join or contribute to them), I thought everything was absolutely fantastic, and I wanted to be a part of this.

I then saw that the organization is from another state that would take a few hours to get to. So this made me a little disappointed, as I knew I could only participate virtually and not face-to-face. BPD is way more common than one may think, so it blows my mind how few support resources there are available for it.

Here's the kicker. I can find so many in-person and online support groups for families and caregivers who have a loved one with BPD, which is wonderful, and we need that. But as a person who struggles a lot with BPD, I also need a support group. I should be able to have a group with people who struggle with the same conditions, as my parents would be able to connect with other parents or caregivers who have loved ones with BPD.

Humans are social creatures, and while therapy is mostly a one-on-one type of interaction, some programs offer group sessions where there are multiple people in the session. So, it's been rough getting this extra support. Finding a BPD support group (in my area, at least) is like finding a needle in a haystack. But I'm still trying. I've decided that the next group sessions that I attend will be one for individuals with BPD because I would like to experience a group of people who struggle with the same triggers and symptoms as I do.

So I am doing the research and outreach for that. I don't plan to stop looking until I find one. Also, I've seemed to be meeting some more people with BPD in my personal life, which is great to have individuals who understand the struggles that I am going through with my BPD. I've decided to make a small discord group with them, and while it's still in the works, I have hopes that this little personal support group will be so helpful.

Until next time, friends!💝

Jade