👋🏽Hello friends!👋🏽

Today I was doing a mindful exercise for this stress management class that I was taking just for fun and because I really enjoyed the classes in this major of wellness and health promotion. 

Part of what I want to do as a career is teach mental health and overall wellness to the community. I want to be a mental health first aid trainer, and I've even thought of being a life coach. 

Anyways. I was taking this class, and we had to pick one of two exercises to do, I chose something called a labyrinth walking meditation. Luckily, the college that I work at (which is where I am taking classes) has a labyrinth area on campus. I'm not going to lie; when I read about the exercise, I thought it was kind of lame. Mediation and mindfulness are things that are very hard for me to do since my mind is always on a task or thought. I was finishing up my break when I was itching to just go outside for a walk. It was a beautiful day outside. I walked a little to find the labyrinth path, and I was like, "Okay, I might as well do this now and get it over with," and I thought about how this would technically count as my walk for the day. The labyrinth was 1/6th of a mile. I tried clearing my head and taking some deep breaths before starting. 

I remember thinking of all the things that are currently weighing me down emotionally, how I desired things, and imagining situations. I tried to catch myself and focus on my deep breathing. I started to focus (a little too much at times) on the path to make sure I didn't cross the lines (yeeeeeeah, that's the perfectionist inside me). But as I was walking the path, I felt the wind in my face and heard the birds chirp.

I felt peaceful.

I kept reminding myself to take deep breaths, clear my head, and enjoy the moment that I was in. I have to say, I really enjoyed those moments of peacefulness. 

I was very wrong about labyrinths being lame; they're actually pretty cool. I recommend trying it out if the opportunity comes around. I know I want to try and incorporate waking up in the labyrinth at least weekly when I'm on campus. I have also googled some labyrinths around my area, and I look forward to exploring some of them! I'm pretty excited for it!

Until next time, friends!💝

‐Jade 

👋🏼Hello Friends!👋🏼

I would always hear the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child," especially when I was a late teenager when I was part of a dance organization that worked with young people to adults. I knew what it meant, but I truly didn't think much of it besides a saying that I would always hear. 

As I grew older, I heard the phrase less and less. Until one day recently, when I can't remember exactly where I heard this from, I heard the phrase again. This time, I truly knew what it meant. 

I now realize that the village that I live in has supportive people helping me get better in my mental health journey and essentially get through life. When I was diagnosed with BPD, I thought I would continue to be alone. I figured no one would ever understand how it is to be me. While no one could ever truly know what it's like in my shoes, I've met people who have BPD, and we've shared stories and had those "OMG, you feel that too?!" moments. I've also had my continuing friends who have stayed by my side when things weren't easy for either of us because, as we all know, life really can kick us in the ass sometimes.

And I'm grateful enough to have parents who actively keep working on themselves and make the effort to learn more about BPD on their own to help understand me and my feelings as best as they can. 

Honestly, I always tear up when I think of how truly blessed I am with the people this post is about. I don't know what I did to deserve such amazing people in my life. But I do know that I'm always so grateful for them, and I wouldn't be where I am without them.

Having BPD causes an extreme fear of being abandoned. Usually, for me, the abandonment that I fear the most is by a significant other. There are only a small number of people who can trigger a mental breakdown due to fear of abandonment or a big fight that isn't related to my significant other. 

One thing that I've been working on in therapy is creating my village, my support system, so that when I'm in a relationship, I'm not fully relying on my significant other. This is a problem I've had with just about every partner I've been with, and it causes a lot of exhaustion on their end and heartbreak on mine (I will most likely dig more into this issue and my BPD in other posts). 

I think I can successfully say I have a really great village behind me that consistently supports, guides, and helps me. It took a long time to find my village, and I'm never going to let it go. 

Until next time, friends! 

-Jade💖