Role: As xirself

Pride is essentially a concept that is old as feudalism. It’s typically defined as something that is within our very ego. You’ve probably heard of Christian topics that specified why pride is the deadliest sin and some long explanation that if you think you’re higher than God the— *panic and clears throat*

So anyway, Pride (as in my definition) is the idea of feeling better or worse than humans. Yes, being happy for yourself is good but I don’t think it is “pride.” You can’t hurt anyone for feeling proud of yourself or others.

Being proud is being in love. My idea of My God is Love. I’m proud of being Christian, I’m proud of being Nonbinary, I’m proud of being asexually queer. I love my friends and comrades that are LGBTQ+ as well as my friends who intersect. My hate for others has nothing to do with them but their actions.

I try to not have pride. I do have pride though. I am not unapologetically me. Noticing everyone who isn’t always unapologetically them seems like they’re too good for the world or they’re snooty or stuck up and think the things people do are beneath them. However, that’s not the case. Or at least not my case. I have been embarrassing, weird, eccentric, “slow,” pretentious, awkward, selfish, entitled, unfunny, lazy, and ugly. It’s been hard to juggle titles and names. It’s like an unnecessary costume. Essentially, that’s what it is. A costume.

The mask is even hard when people are shooting rocks from behind their own costume that changes year from year. People hate those “ugly ol’ costumes” and talk for hours about hating someone’s ugly ol’ clothes. Or since the costume is so ugly then the person in the costume is too. How could I know (or care) how a person looks outside of that costume when I’m too busy crying about how I was born in the ugliest one? The fact also that we build oppression based off of these costumes makes it stressful.

What can I expect?

I’m not attracted to the costume, that’s allegedly supposed to be rare. Rare enough to not be in someone’s costume party. Asexuals usually are included into LGBTQ+ spaces but when they aren’t it affects me differently. Asexuality is a sexuality which people don’t sexually think people are attractive, have a lack of desire, or both. Essentially, since I’m not attracted to bodies sexually then I’m a heterosexual person trying to invade an area??? I promise y’all that if I wasn’t asexual I wouldn’t be straight. Secondly, being outside of a group of people I’m safe and emotionally similar to is heartbreaking. I’ve not always been claiming asexual, I used to claim bisexual and pansexual because I love looking at human faces and I believe anyone can be a nice person and can smart and any person who is kind and sweet to me and is patient is worth my time. Pansexuality is when people are sexually attracted to two or more genders within the binary as well as outside the binary. However, I realized after being in uncomfortable situations and hearing about situations I no longer saw that as fitting. I also usually used to feel very uncomfortable when people said stereotypes about their culture. I believed loud was unapologetic, I thought telling everyone my sexuality was unapologetic. I never was loud and I never told people my sexuality because I thought I wasn’t good enough so like every broke down stranger would be deviant or even become apathetic. I believed that the loud ones were fake, I thought the person that screamed “I’m so gay~🏳️‍🌈hehe” was annoying than life. Being loud, gay, and proud is unapologetic, it’s just not my unapologetic. My unapologetic is so far unknown, my costume is undefined. I’m unhappy I stalled too long and I’m mad I made an even UGLIER COSTUME.

Pride within and with others...

If you don’t let other people have “pride” with you, then you have pride in yourself. You’re oppressed, broken, and hideous but that person is worthless and bottom of the barrel. I’m speaking to the individuals who have uttered that a quiet, marginalized group isn’t worth sharing because they don’t look oppressed. I’m also speaking to the fool with the tight afro on their head getting mad at people because they don’t have a good personality and really believed other people’s ideas would work on them. /I’m weak lol/

When some people hate themselves, they do things to harm people way worse than they thought. It’s like they don’t think the joke they said out of insecurity was affecting a group of people by giving them a negative image that really isn’t them. Nobody is immune to it, but it’s mindful to care about people as well as try to listen when they tell you what you said affects them. Especially when people believe you and don’t want to help her

Really consider that some people have been called those and fit in with everyday society and honestly don’t seem irregular...I mean, they’re not. Different isn’t the same as irregular. A lot of these disabled and neurodivergent people are quite similar to you and I then are far away. We all have the same needs that need to be finished and we all are some level of vulnerable. Besides, all humans are pretty much different and the same anyway. (These nuances in society got me messed UP and made it extremely, extremely hard to be okay with mistakes or other things.

If anyone reads this or see something offensive don’t hesitate to reach out and/or patiently tell me the mistakes I have written. Please don’t cancel me, I love to learn and have insight.)

That aggression towards other people typically is unwarranted and unnecessary and really is a lack of respect and is honestly, self hatred. Again, why would you harm a child of God or why would you harm a beautiful person carved from God’s image?

Believe and trust in God and if you’re a Christian then speak through Jesus or something, idk. (If you aren’t religious, don’t be apathetic to how people are being treated.) Being humble isn’t a requirement to being a good person and most people that tell you that they’re humble aren’t doing it for selfless reasons.

Anyway, my whole point of this long and really awkwardly written and paced out post is that I really don’t like Pride, the vice and I really don’t believe it’s necessary. It’s bad; however,just because I believe it is a bad thing doesn’t mean it’s horrible and the end-all-be-all. Self-awareness, love, being proud, content, and acceptance is going to be closer to God or whatever goals are necessary.

Anyway, I’m happy you are here and I’m happy you have listened to me and you have been a great audience regardless if you disagree or raged over what I wrote.

Have a great life wherever you may go.💕