Metamyth Mirror

Metamyth Mirror

Like brainquakes, I feel whole regions of my brain shift seismically—tectonically—as they rebuild themselves. My brain is reordering, restructuring, and reorganizing.

I'm listening again to The Hero’s Adventure, the audio recording of Joseph Campbell in conversation with Bill Moyers. I’ve heard it a dozen times before. I’ve always been drawn to the call to adventure. But tonight is different. This time, what speaks to me is the Grail quest—the full arc of myth—and the vision it offers.

I creeps up on me. I feel like they are talking to me and about me. Then it hits: it all fits. What had been 25 years of random and arbitrary memories reconfigures into a mythic pattern. I can see my past, present, and future. I can see my mythopoetic identity.

The years from ages 3 to 15 correspond to my wasteland: a time of fragmentation, insanity, and stagnation. I was a mute witness to the tornadic disintegration of my family and my mother’s mind. I encountered her delusions and paranoia at irregular intervals. I cloaked myself in silence to protect myself from that world. In doing so, I drifted into my own emotional, intellectual, and spiritual stagnation.

I carried these wounds forward into the next chapter of life, only to awaken and discover that I was as broken as the world I had known. As I read to heal myself, I encountered a world as broken as I was and and so its wounds were as my own, and in healing myself, I sought to heal the world. That’s why I became an artist and creator that through creation I could build myself and the world anew.

During that I questioned reality and withdrew Occam’s sword from the stone, making it my Excalibur that helped dispel delusion from the world. By becoming an artist, I was able to transform stagnation into fertility. I learned how to build and thus transformed fragmentation into unity.

In seek a rock to build my life and world on, I found not terra firma but aqua eterna. I occurred as a result of the cataclysmic clash between Kandinsky and Pirsig in what I now call my logoclasis—a shattering of logos that initiated me into the mystery rites of the Grail. It was through that experience that I discovered the fountainhead from which the waters of the Grail flow.

In this mythogenic zone, I also confronted and overcame three dragons: temptation, addiction, and nihilism—each taking the form of absolute desire, alcoholism, and the horrors of history.

With my new vision and understanding, my identity is fixed as knight to quest, king to sword. I know now the quest I’m on and what I seek; the Grail but how to attain it and what it is I haven’t a clue.

The future still to come will extend the pattern of this mythic awakening into a threefold fulfillment:

1. 
   The invention of a new form of creativity that can be used to create mathematics and that functions as the system that will help heal a fragmented world and restore it to it original fecundity.
   

2. The full expression of Occam’s sword and Occam’s chalice that function as the laws of the land and with which to defeat delusion and defend scientific truth, thereby ridding the world of its dragons.
   

3. A vision of cosmic unity expressed through mathematical simplicity that functions as a guiding light for the future of the Camelot yet to be.
   
   

Beyond that is the return with the boon of the quest.