Big Foot

Big Foot

Jim bursts through the door smiling. He knows that I know he knows.

We start to laugh. “Good one”, he says! “Ya' really got me this time.” “ What? Who me? I've been here all day. What’d I do?” I ask.

“Right.”, says Jim. “Cut the crap and let me tell ya what happened. And by the way, it turned out better than you expected for both of us."

“So, I’m in class right and Cheryl walks in. She’s that cute blonde I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask out. Lucky me, I think, when she sits down next to me.”

“It’s now or never, I think. “So, I ask her if she’s got a pen cause’ I’ve forgotten mine, right.”

“Smooth”, I say. “Yeah, I know, but ya' gotta' start somewhere.”

“I’m like fidgeting while she’s looking through her purse. She pulls it out and hands it to me, when I say real smooth like, ‘Hey, you going to the Theta Chi party this Saturday.”

“I didn’t know there was one.”, she says. “Well, I was thinkin’ maybe if you’re not busy we could go together.” “Oh. I don’t know if I can”, she says.

“I get nervous thinkin’ like it ain’t gonna happen, when I lean back and put up my foot on my knee thinkin’ maybe if I tell her a joke she’ll change her mind.”

“I lean closer like I’m gonna whisper. “

“I know where this is goin’, I say, crackin’ a smile.

“Well, yeah right”, says Jim. “Before I can even start, though. And let me just say right here, it coulda’ gone either way ya’ know. If it had gone wrong, we would be talking with our fists right now.”

“Oh, I’m aware’, I say. “But I was willing to risk that this or any day”, I say, trying not to laugh.

“OK, so right, there I am all smiles and before I can say a word, she busts out laughing.”

“I’m like ‘What I say somethin’ funny. “

“She just points at my shoe; blushing.”

“That’s when I’m ready to run back here and punch you in the nose.”

“What the fuck. dude. You do that before class or what?” “ Yeah, I got a Sharpie and wrote it on the side of your shoe while you were in the shower”, I say.

“Anyway, we both got a good laugh at that. And the thing is as soon as she read that ‘My penis is bigger than this shoe’ all the sudden she changes her mind and says she could probably get free to go to the party.”