I'VE BEEN FUNCTIONING ON AN AVERAGE OF FOUR HOURS' SLEEP PER NIGHT FOR THE LAST WEEK DUE TO MY OWN CHOICES
one person. because it would be awful to ask anyone to share in this. like it tastes fine but imagine walking up to someone and showing this to them and asking if they'd like to have some
frozen strawberries
flour
sugar
salt
baking soda
Greek yoghurt
eggs (2)
vegetable oil
vanilla extract
lemon juice
Leave half a bowl of frozen strawberries to defrost.
In a different bowl (for dries), measure out 5 tablespoons of flour.
Add like 10 teaspoons of sugar, plus a pinch of salt to enhance the flavour.
Add 0.5 tablespoons of baking soda. Mix.
In a third bowl (for wets), crack 2 eggs in. Whisk.
Scoop 2 tablespoons of Greek yoghurt in. Mix.
Add 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil. Mix.
Pour in however much vanilla extract you want. Mix.
Sift the dries into the wets, while gradually stirring. Realise the sieve is too fine to allow the sugar granules through. Mildly panic. Finish sifting the flour anyway, then reunite the sugar with the flour.
Tip the batter into the rice cooker. Realise the baking soda is reacting way too soon because you forgot that yoghurt is acidic, and panic more because you know the cake is going to be so so so flat because you have to keep stirring otherwise there will be clumps but that means the bubbles are escaping.
Try to rescue it by stirring in 0.1 tablespoons of baking soda, plus 3 tablespoons of lemon juice.
Realise that now the cake will be too sour, so mix in like 5 more teaspoons of sugar, plus a dash more vanilla extract.
Add in the strawberries, which are still frozen because it hasn't been that long yet and it's a cool night, and realise that that's way too many, the batter is now like 50% strawberries and there's no way this thing is going to have structural integrity, but the strawberries are now coated in raw batter so you have to commit.
Cook it on quick cook, twice back-to-back, or until the top is solid enough that it won't splat if you take it out of the cooker. This would be so much easier if you had a microwave.
Tip the cake out onto a plate, then flip it over and slide it back into the cooker to try and cook the top more evenly. The bottom looks nice and round and brown at this point and it smells really nice, so regain some hope.
Cook it on quick cook again.
Take it out and leave it to cool.
Come back when it's cool and realise the strawberries have disintegrated under the heat and now the cake has sunken in. Oops. Move on. You have a song to write by tomorrow and it's already tomorrow.