Setting Boundaries

You've probably heard the word "boundaries" often. There are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries, and all of them are important, especially when it comes to your well-being and relationships. In this post, I will cover what the different boundaries are as well as why and how you should set them.

Physical Boundaries:

A physical boundary is something that physically stops you from crossing a point. For instance, your front door keeps people from walking into your house, a mountain stops you from walking into a valley, and a jacket keeps you from getting wet and/or cold. Physical boundaries are important because they keep you safe. They can be harmful if you cross them, and they're typically impossible to cross (you can't just walk through a wall or walk on water).

Physical boundaries are crucial when it comes to relationships, especially dating. Physical boundaries when you're dating are important because they keep you safe, but they also ensure that you are responsible. Personally, being religious, I haven't been in a dating relationship before, but before I ever start one, I will make sure that I set boundaries with said partner. Some examples would be that we will not be in a room alone, we will not kiss in private, and you will never get upset with me for saying "no".

Sometimes you have to set a physical boundary against a person because you feel unsafe or uncomfortable around them.

Mental Boundaries:

Mental boundaries protect your thoughts, opinions, and ideas, but they also ensure your safety based on what you do and don't share with others.

Some boundaries that I have for myself are that I don't allow myself to think about unholy things, I don't allow myself to think negatively or doubt my faith, and I don't let myself become anxious about small things.

When I start to pass these boundaries (even slightly), I immediately stop myself, pray, and make sure I am around someone I trust to make sure I don't continue to have those thoughts.

Emotional Boundaries:

Emotional boundaries ensure that you are taking responsibility for your feelings and express clearly how you feel.

For instance, when you're confronting someone about your feelings, you need to tell them what you feel, but you also have to tell them why you feel that way. For example, you are upset that your coworker keeps showing up late. Instead of saying, "You keep arriving late, and it makes me upset.", you can say, "It stresses me out when you arrive late because it throws me off schedule."

Explaining your feelings will lead people to feel empathy for you rather than anger or annoyance.

Spiritual Boundaries:

Spiritual boundaries are set to protect your spiritual well-being and honor your beliefs. A lot of religious people struggle to set spiritual boundaries because, especially Christians, tend not to be accepted by others due to their strong convictions.

I've had to set a lot of spiritual boundaries in my life, and some include: telling people that I don't appreciate being cussed at, I refuse to swear against God, and telling people I don't appreciate being so physically close to them.

These boundaries are difficult to set, but if you keep praying and thinking, you will know when and how to set that boundary.

Navigation Sentences:

I love you, but I don't love _____________.
I'm setting this boundary because_________.
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
I believe I needed to set this because _____________.
I don't believe that what you're doing is okay, but __________.
I hope that __________ will compel you to ___________.

Now, you know everything you need to know about boundaries. They are extremely hard to set, but even harder to uphold. I hope that these guidelines and navigation sentences will help you have that tough conversation that you've been needing to have. God bless and Live Loud!

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