What is a Bystander?

A bystander is a witness who sees or knows about bullying happening to someone else. It doesn't mean they have to just watch it happen. Whether they know it or not, by doing nothing a bystander supports the bullying behavior. To learn what you can do when you witness bullying, click here.

What is an Upstander?

An upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to make it right. When an upstander sees or hears about someone being bullied, they speak up. Being an upstander is being a hero: they are standing up for what is right and doing their best to help support and protect someone who is being hurt.

The roles kids play in bullying are not limited to those who bully others and those who are bullied. Some researchers talk about the "circle of bullying" to define both those directly involved in bullying and those who actively or passively assist the behavior or defend against it. Direct roles include:

• Kids who Bully: These children engage in bullying behavior towards their peers. There are many risk factors that may contribute to the child's involvement in the behavior. Often, these students require support to change their behavior and address any other challenges that may be influencing their behavior.

• Kids who are Bullied: These children are the targets of bullying behavior. Some factors put children at more risk of being bullied, but not all children with these characteristics will be bullied. Sometimes, these children may need help learning how to respond to bullying.

Even if a child is not directly involved in bullying, they may be contributing to the behavior. Witnessing the behavior may also affect the child, so it is important for them to learn what they should do when they see bullying happen. Roles kids play when they witness bullying include:

• Kids who Assist: These children may not start the bullying or lead in the bullying behavior, but serve as an "assistant" to children who are bullying. These children may encourage the bullying behavior and occasionally join in.

• Kids who Reinforce: These children are not directly involved in the bullying behavior but they give the bullying an audience. They will often laugh or provide support for the children who are engaging in bullying. This may encourage the bullying to continue.

• Outsiders: These children remain separate from the bullying situation. They neither reinforce the bullying behavior nor defend the child being bullied. Some may watch what is going on but do not provide feedback about the situation to show they are on anyone’s side. Even so, providing an audience may encourage the bullying behavior.

  • These kids often want to help, but don’t know how. Learn how to be "more than a bystander."

• Kids who Defend: These children actively comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child's defense when bullying occurs. This is the only role considered to be an Upstander.

Most kids play more than one role in bullying over time. In some cases, they may be directly involved in bullying as the one bullying others or being bullied and in others they may witness bullying and play an assisting or defending role. Every situation is different. Some kids are both bullied and bully others. It is important to note the multiple roles kids play, because:

• Those who are both bullied and bully others may be at more risk for negative outcomes, such as depression or suicidal ideation.

• It highlights the need to engage all kids in prevention efforts, not just those who are known to be directly involved.

-StopBullying.gov

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