Everyone talks about "building community," but almost nobody teaches you how. You've done the inner work—you've named your loneliness, defined love, practiced self-love, invested in friendship, learned to grieve, and begun rebuilding trust. Now what? How do you take all of that and create something bigger than yourself? How do you build a community when the structures around you are designed for isolation? adrienne maree brown teaches that "what we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system." Community doesn't start with a big event or a perfect plan. It starts with two people deciding to show up for each other consistently. Then three. Then five. bell hooks reminds us that "communities sustain life—not nuclear families, or the 'couple,' and certainly not the rugged individual." This module is the practical toolkit: how to actually start building community where you are, with what you have.
Core Question: I want community, but I don't know how to build it. Where do I even start?
Answer Preview: Start small. Start with who's already near you. Community is built through consistency, shared purpose, honest communication, and the willingness to be changed by the people around you. You don't need a building. You need a commitment.
Emergent Strategy: adrienne maree brown's framework—"small is good, small is all," "move at the speed of trust," "what we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system."
Third Places: Spaces that are neither home nor work where community happens organically (and why they're disappearing)
Intentionality Over Proximity: Why modern community requires active choice, not just geographic closeness
The Myth of the Perfect Community: Why waiting for the "right" group keeps us isolated
Mutual Aid as Love in Action: How meeting each other's material needs is a practice of love
Sustainability Over Spectacle: Why consistency matters more than intensity
[BOOK CHAPTER] bell hooks - All About Love, Chapter 8: "Community: Loving Communion"
Link: https://dn790000.ca.archive.org/0/items/all-about-love-new-visions-bell/All-About-Love-New-Visions-Bell.pdf
On building communities that sustain life. Why the nuclear family model fails. Friendship and collective care are the foundation of a loving community.
[ARTICLE] "Emergent Strategy" - The Commons Library
Link: https://commonslibrary.org/emergent-strategy/
Comprehensive overview of brown's framework with core principles and elements. How to apply emergent strategy to community building, organizing, and personal relationships. Free resource library.
[ARTICLE] "Everything Worthwhile is Done with Other People" - Mariame Kaba, AdiMagazine
Link: https://adimagazine.com/articles/mariame-kaba-everything-worthwhile-is-done-with-other-people/
Kaba on abolition, mutual aid, and why community is both the means and the end. Practical wisdom on building with others.
[VIDEO] DIY Guide In Building Community | Sophie Zechmeister | TEDxDonauinselSalon
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMH4rPEJ5BI
In her TEDxDonauinsel talk, Sophie Zechmeister delves into the significance of communities and why they are essential in our modern world. With a personal perspective and insights into longevity, systemic challenges, and mental health, she provides a practical DIY guide on how to build your own community using the '3 Golden Rs' - Rituals, Rhythms, and Rules
[ARTICLE] "Centering Abundance: Rememberings from bell hooks on Love and Community" - The Inclusion Solution
Link: https://theinclusionsolution.me/centering-abundance-rememberings-from-bell-hooks-on-love-and-community/
On hooks' insistence that community requires self-work first: "Transformative community calls for a commitment to a loving relationship with self." How community and solitude are not mutually exclusive.
[ARTICLE] "Emergent Strategy: Organizing for Social Justice" - Forte Labs
Link: https://fortelabs.com/blog/emergent-strategy-organizing-for-social-justice/
Summary and analysis of brown's framework. Translates emergent strategy principles into practical applications. On how "critical connections" matter more than "critical mass."
[VIDEO] Ray Oldenburg on Third Places
Search: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h5YFimOOlU
Oldenburg coined the term "third places"—cafes, barbershops, parks, and gathering spaces where community forms organically. What happens when they disappear, and how to create new ones.
[ARTICLE] "Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next)" - Dean Spade
Link: https://www.deanspade.net/mutual-aid-building-solidarity-during-this-crisis-and-the-next/
Free resources from Dean Spade's work on mutual aid. Why meeting material needs is a political and loving act. How to start a mutual aid network.
Books
adrienne maree brown - Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds
Dean Spade - Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next)
Peter Block - Community: The Structure of Belonging
Journal Prompts
What does "community" mean to you? Not the word—the feeling. When have you felt like you belonged somewhere?
adrienne maree brown says "small is good, small is all." What small actions of community are you already practicing? (Cooking for a neighbor, texting a friend, sharing resources, showing up.) Name them.
What's stopping you from building community right now? List every barrier—real and imagined. Which ones are structural? Which ones are fear?
Where are your "third places"? Where do you go that's neither home nor work? If you don't have any, what might you create?
What need in your community is currently unmet? Is there a gap you could help fill—not alone, but with 2-3 other people?
bell hooks says community requires self-work first. Are you ready? What inner work still needs doing before you can show up fully for others?
Discussion Questions for Learning Communities
What's the difference between a community and a group of people? What transforms proximity into belonging?
adrienne maree brown writes: "Move at the speed of trust." What does that mean practically? How fast (or slow) should community building be?
Why do so many community-building efforts fail? What patterns do you see? What mistakes do people make?
How do third places function in your life? Where do you find casual connection? What happens when those spaces disappear?
What's the relationship between mutual aid and love? Is meeting someone's material needs an act of love?
Who is excluded from your current communities? Whose absence do you notice? Whose absence do you not notice?
If you were going to start building a community this week, what would you do first?
Creative & Artistic Engagement:
Visual Arts
Map your community as it currently exists. Who's in it? Where do you gather? What are the connections? Now draw the community you want to build. What's different?
Create a visual "community blueprint"—what does the infrastructure of a loving community look like?
Performance & Movement
Organize a community dance, potluck, or gathering. The only rule: everyone brings someone new.
Create a group movement piece where each person contributes one gesture that represents what they bring to community.
Music & Sound
Create a "Community Building" playlist with songs about togetherness, solidarity, and showing up. Share it with the people you want to build with.
Host a listening party where people share songs that remind them of belonging.
Digital & Tech
Start a group chat, Discord server, or shared document with 3-5 people committed to building something together. Start small.
Create a mutual aid spreadsheet for your neighborhood or social circle. What do people need? What can people offer?
Community Art
Organize a community meal or potluck. No agenda. Just food and presence.
Host a "community visioning" session: What would our ideal community look like? What values would it hold? Create a visual manifesto together.
Writing & Documentation
Write a "community values" statement for a group you want to build. Share it with one person and ask for feedback.
Interview 5 people in your neighborhood or social circle: "What do you need that you're not getting? What can you offer that nobody's asking for?"
Write speculative fiction: what would a neighborhood designed for connection look like?
Solo Practice: Community Seed Planting (20-30 minutes + one action)
What you'll need: Paper/journal, pen, your phone
Instructions:
Identify your community seed. What's one small thing you could do regularly that would bring people together? Not a big event—a seed. Examples:
A monthly dinner at your place for 4-6 people
A weekly walk with one neighbor
A biweekly phone call circle with friends in different cities
A monthly book club focused on All About Love
A shared online space where people check in on each other
Identify your first 2-3 people. Who's already near you (physically or emotionally) who might say yes? Don't overthink this. Pick people who've shown up before.
Make the ask. Not someday—this week. Text, call, or message them. Say something like: "I've been thinking about how isolated we all are. I want to build something small and consistent. Would you be interested in [your seed idea]?"
Set the first date. Not a plan to make a plan. An actual date. Put it on the calendar.
Write down your community values. What 3-5 values will guide how you show up? Examples: honesty, consistency, mutual aid, no judgment, fun.
Group Practice: Community Visioning Circle (60-90 minutes)
What you'll need: 3-8 people, large paper, markers, snacks (always bring snacks)
Instructions:
Opening (10 min): Each person shares: "The community I dream of is one where..."
Needs assessment (20 min): Each person answers: "What I need that I'm not getting is..." and "What I can offer that nobody's asking for is..." Write these on the large paper in two columns.
Match-making (15 min): Look at the two columns. Where do needs and offerings align? Where are the gaps? This is your starting point.
Action planning (20 min): Together, design ONE thing you'll do as a group in the next two weeks. Not a vision statement. An action. Examples:
"We'll have dinner together every other Wednesday."
"We'll start a mutual aid fund—everyone puts in $10/month."
"We'll create a shared calendar of community events."
"We'll each bring one new person to the next gathering."
Closing (10 min): Each person says: "I commit to [specific action]." Write these down. Follow up.
Note for Solo Learners/If you don't have a group, modify this practice by:
Journal through steps 1-3.
For step 4, commit to one community-building action you'll take alone this week.
Set a reminder to follow through.
Reflection questions to sit with:
What kind of community do you want to be part of? What kind do you want to build?
What are you willing to give consistently—not just once, but over time?
adrienne maree brown says "trust the people." Do you? What would it look like to start?
Community is not a place. It's a practice. It starts with you, and it starts with two.