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We Cry, We Fight, We Build
We Cry, We Fight, We Build
Loss is not something to be overcome—it's a journey. For LGBTQ+ communities, particularly Black and Indigenous people, loss is often not just personal, but also shared and ongoing. It can be subtle or intense, but it's always a profound part of our lives.
This module offers a space to grieve the systems that weren't designed with us in mind and to mourn those who didn't make it. We explore how loss can strengthen our roots in resistance and how care, ritual, and remembrance can help us stay alive.
Core Content
Core Content
Video and Interview: Queer Grief: A Conversation with Queer Death Doula Jamie Thrower
A beautiful 30-minute Instagram Live-style conversation about the shared experiences of queer and trans grief, the challenges of finding support, and the power of radical care.
"There's the enormous grief of just our community collectively... watching our people get killed... becomes this bigger grief experience."
Vigil Recording (YouTube Video): Transgender Day of Remembrance Vigil (2023)
Watch a 5-8 minute video that respectfully captures community rituals and remembrance of trans lives lost—a heartfelt way to experience collective grief.
Scholarly Article: LGBTQ+ Loss and Grief in a Cis-Heteronormative Pandemic – Lucas et. al
Examines the concept of "gendered mourning" among parents of transgender youth, showing how cisnormativity itself can lead to grief—and how this grief can drive trans-affirming change.
Web Article Essay: Amateur: On Being Trans and Grieving the Childhood I Never Had – Thomas Page McBee
Powerful and thought-provoking, this essay explores how systemic loss, stolen childhoods, and grief can inspire resilience and healing.
Short Film (YouTube Video): Requiem (2021) - Emma J. Glibertson
Visceral and poetic, this queer horror short crafts a powerful narrative of two girls, intertwining grief, ritual, and collective defiance.
Podcast: Keeping Each Other Alive: Mental Health and Collective Survival - Kelly Hayes
A roughly 45-minute audio recording, complete with a transcript, as queer and trans organizers share their practices, survival strategies, and emotional care within the community.
Resource: Eluna Network: LGBTQ+ Grief Support & Resources - Sarah Behm, PPS, MBA
Practical toolkit page with articles, videos, and connection points for those grieving queer loss.
Extra Credit
Extra Credit
Grieving the Transgender (Assumed-Cisgender) Child - Mel Constantine Miseo
A dissertation that explores "gendered mourning" among parents of trans youth, this dissertation shows how cisnormativity can cause grief, and how that grief can spark trans-affirming change.
Reflect, Resist, Rejoice: Discussion & Practice
Reflect, Resist, Rejoice: Discussion & Practice
Reflection Questions (great for journaling or small group dialogue)
Reflection Questions (great for journaling or small group dialogue)
What forms has grief taken in your life?
Has it been loud or quiet, named or unnamed, yours or someone else’s?
What losses—personal or collective—have shaped your identity?
How do those losses continue to show up in your body or daily life?
When have you felt held in your grief?
Who or what made that possible?
What rituals or practices help you process grief?
Are there any you’ve inherited, created, or longed for?
What parts of yourself have you had to grieve in order to survive?
What does it mean to honor those losses?
Critical Discussions Prompts (for classrooms, study groups, or peer-led facilitation)
Critical Discussions Prompts (for classrooms, study groups, or peer-led facilitation)
How does systemic violence (like anti-trans legislation, police brutality, or medical neglect) create chronic forms of grief in LGBTQ+ communities?
How is this different from individual loss?
What are the risks and possibilities of grieving publicly—especially as queer and trans people of color?
Who gets to be mourned, and who gets erased?
How do dominant cultures frame grief as something to 'move on' from?
What would it look like to live with grief instead of against it?
How does grief show up in movements for justice?
How can we make room for sorrow alongside resistance?
In what ways have queer and trans communities created rituals, art, or cultural practices that center collective survival through grief?
What can we learn from these forms of wisdom?
Creative + Collective Practice Prompts (for workshops, zines, or embodied learning)
Creative + Collective Practice Prompts (for workshops, zines, or embodied learning)
Create a grief altar—physical or digital.
Include images, objects, names, or symbols that honor who or what you’ve lost. Share it (if you want) as a communal act of remembrance.
Write a letter to a version of yourself that didn’t survive a past system or relationship.
Offer compassion, closure, or rage—whatever is needed.
Design a ritual for releasing or carrying grief.
It could involve movement, sound, silence, water, earth, or community participation.
Map your grief.
Using a visual format (drawing, collage, mind map), trace how different types of loss have shaped your life, your choices, and your care practices.
Co-create a community grief zine.
Invite others to contribute poems, memories, prayers, or art. Consider framing it as both archive and offering.
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