seventy times the mirror 

i used to think forgiveness was mostly for the other person.
like, if i forgave them, it meant they were off the hook. it felt unfair.
they hurt me—sometimes deeply. and yet, the weight of that pain?
i realized it wasn't crushing them. it was crushing me.

there was a moment—I remember it vividly—when i sat alone, thinking about everything i was holding onto.
the bitterness, the anger, the unspoken grudge that had become part of my identity.
and in that stillness, something uncomfortable yet holy stirred in my heart:
“have you forgotten how much you’ve been forgiven?”

“just as in Messiah Yahshua, YHWH forgave you...”
Ephesians 4:32

and it hit me. hard.

how often had i messed up?
how often had i whispered, “YHWH, i’m sorry,” and felt His mercy rush in like a flood?

if YHWH hadn’t kept count of my failures…
why was i keeping count of theirs?

“Master, how many times shall i forgive...?”
“i tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18:21–22

that number—it’s not about math. it’s a mirror.
every time i forgive, it reflects how deeply i’ve been forgiven.
every act of mercy becomes a reminder of the mercy i live in.

“forgive as the Master forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13

i’m not saying forgiveness is easy.
it’s not. sometimes it feels like dying to a piece of pride, or reopening a wound just to let it breathe.

but i’ve learned something: forgiveness isn’t about letting them walk away clean.
it’s about setting myself free.

because when i hold on to offense, i’m not just locking them in a cage.
i’m in there too.

Yahshua didn’t wait for us to get it all right.
He forgave first.
loved first.
bled first.

so now, when i feel that resistance to forgive, i pause and remember:
i’ve been forgiven more than i’ll ever be asked to forgive.

and that’s why i choose to forgive.
not because they deserve it—because i didn’t either.