Fourth session

The Feegles wake up in a pitch black space, with something breathing over them. It sniffs down at them, and Angus the Loud tries to intimidate it with a belch. He fails miserably, and it belches back at him with smoke and fumes. They introduce themselves to him, and he and an unseen companion confer about what to do with them. They make a magical gesture and banish the Feegles to Level 7A.

The Feegles appear in a small black featureless room, with an archway leading into another room. In the other room is an emaciated man and great piles of food on tables. He is eating listlessly; when the Feegles try, they discover that the food is tasteless and non-nourishing. He asks them if they are wizards, and explains to them that they are in Hell, and they leave him as a useless bigjob. In other rooms they find other former wizards in a variety of pursuits. They talk with some of the wizards and find out that they are on level 7A of Hell. The wizards seem confused by the claim that the Feegles came from Heaven, and that a wizard sent them here. They abscond with some silverware and attempt to dig their way through one of the walls. Eventually they break up through into the next level, which is full of ruined buildings, smoke and fire. They sneak around and find a magic circle. As they all assemble there and the Gonnagle tries to trigger it, some screaming maniacs in leather masks and wielding hatchets come into the room. They slip through the circle into what they think is the next level; a maze of alleys. They come around a corner and run into a demon in wizard robes. It shoots them with a wand, which injures the Gonnagle. They knock it down and subdue it. Despite shooting it repeatedly with its own wand repeatedly, it fails to come up with any satisfactory answers to their questions or a way to get them out of Hell.

They abscond with the wand and use it to blast their way up another level, where they dig through from rock and brick into cream puffs and a crust of chocolate. Hugely fat bigjobs are stuffing their faces; some other less bulky bigjobs are chasing them rather amorously. They try shooting the sky, which melts into candy globs. From behind them, a horrible bellowing erupts and they turn to see a giant pile of pastry and sugar lumbering toward them. Several Feegles assault the croquembouche, and more or less take it down (at the cost of a major stomachache, for some). Fatty McBeefy climbs on top of the ruined croquembouche and fires upon the oncoming candy demons, taking several out but overheating his wand in the process, and eventually passing out from drunkenness. Medium Horace secures the attention of a large bird, which Angus ties a rope harness to so they can secure Fatty to it (he acquires his second permanent Wyrdness dice in doing so). The bird carries them up to the candy ceiling, and they bust through into the base of a potted plant, which they uproot to climb out.

A lush pile carpet is underfoot, which they are sticking to vigorously, what with all of the candle, dirt, and now carpet fibers attached to them. Devils wander by listlessly, carrying manila folders. They assault a secretary demon (with its horns done up in buns and a pencil skirt) and raid the supply closet for rubber bands and other supplies. They rig Fatty into a more cushiony harness to carry him along, and slip out through the drop ceiling. On the next level up, a great number of people are singing, badly and off-key, constantly and at the top of their lungs. They're also drinking heavily, but it doesn't seem to be helping. It's like eternal Bar Karaoke night. They sneak around the demon bartender and break up into what they believe to be Level 2. Here there are vaulted ceilings and lots of demonic vendors of meat pies and other suspicious food-like substances. They find their way into what appears to be a kitchen, and they try to climb up the vent pipes but find them too greasy. Climbing up the outside of the pipes works significantly better, and they burrow through the wall into the top level.

The top level is expansive and filled with tall skyscrapers. People wander about praying, flagellating themselves, and giving each other pamphlets. They try to talk to an Omnian who explains to them that they are in the presence of great Om (who appears to be hovering in the sky overhead, with a disapproving gaze). They start to curse and swear, which horrifies the Omnians, who immediately start to pray for forgiveness and mercy. They rig a pencil-catapult and launch one at Om, which improbably reaches him. He fires lightning bolts down at them, which do damage. They shout abuse and challenges at him, which earns a few more lightning bolts and some disdainful lectures on the topic of Heaven and good works. Eventually they climb up one of the skyscrapers and fire another pencil into the sky. Improbably, the pencil strikes something right up at the top of its arc. They try to fire a rope up, but it doesn't reach. So instead they make a mad attempt to lasso Om. This works... sort of. They lasso a balloon that is hanging beneath the image of Om, and drag it over. Inside is a very small demon (about the size of a Feegle), who castigates them. He tells them they need to talk to a Duke or Earl and explain to them that they shouldn't be here. They eventually talk him out of directions and an Executive Key, which will operate the magic circles. They go back down to Level 2 (no magic allowed in Omnian Heaven) and trigger a magic circle. They show up back on Level 7A and talk to Duke Vassanego and his functionaries. After assuring him that they are 1) not dead, 2) not under contract, and 3) want to go home. The devils check their database and verify that the Feegles are not supposed to be there, and were indeed responsible for causing all the damage being reported. He sent them home to the Chalk, after getting them to describe their destination a little more specifically than "The Disc" and less specifically than "Home".