From the Winter 2004 issue of Nobbut Torver
Some of you will be aware that I was recently admitted to Furness General where my gall bladder was removed. Amongst the kind felicitations I received was this one, ostensibly from across the Channel but bearing the distinct mark of the idiot my daughter, married last year. Ed.
Bonjour mes amies et bienvenue au monde de le bladder de Gaul.
Allo my leetle recently ospitalizd persons et ow are you feeling??? I zink it shood be zaid zat zer eez a liitle know fact about ze bladder de gaul. During ze wars D’Agincourt (zo badly misprepresented) eet as bben zaid zat eeengleesh were ow you say the victors. Pah!
Anyway. After the so eesy victoir de Wiliam en 1066 (I say now chaps, listen to your king. It may have been a long march but I see no Arro....) the last great evolution took place in the persons of the eenglish nature. Namely, le Bladder de Gaul. In the following years and weeth the writing of the book of the day of the doom eet was well known that the men of France gave your eenglish ouamen the big moment of change and all zee leetle bebes anglais were born wiz ze bladder de gaul.
And now?
Si tu remove le Bladder it cannot be a guarantee that you weel anymore like le Garlic or the Charles Asnavour or the Amour and weel return to the old ways of zee eengleesh and eat only the vegetables of root and drink the teaa.
Alors - il plu comme les vaches qui piss et c,est pas possible que je suis un ouanquere!!!
Vive le France et le bladder de Gaul.
Moinsur le Pomme de Terre