Little Nobby lived in Tomland with his fiance Dooby Doo (a backing singer) and his rowing partner Big Oars...
Everyone in Tomland knew little Nobby by the red light on top of his hat which was apposite because Tomland was the area's red light district.
One day, Mr. Plot, the crime writer, saw Nobby coming out of Teddy's Brothel, which shocked him as he didn't know Nobby liked broth. "Little Nobby", said Mr. Plot, I am writing a story about a psychoanalyst and I need some help."
"Why?" asked Little Nobby
"Because I can't spell it" replied Mr. Plot.
Just then, Big Oars came around the corner and Little Nobby, who couldn't spell it either, told him of Mr. Plot's problem. Big Oars thought for a moment. "Can you spell 'window cleaner'?" he asked.
"Yes" said Mr. Plot, "I'm not stupid."
"Then write about one of those instead" said Big Oars, dropping a large wooden rowing boat on Mr. Plot's foot. "Thank you, Big Oars" said Mr. Plot, screaming in agony and phoning for an ambulance.
"Nobby?" said Big Oars after the ambulance had gone, how long have we been rowing together?" Nobby thought.
"Twenty-five years" he said.
"That's why my arms are tired" said Big Oars, so in future I'm going to be known as 'Big Ahs' instead."
"Big what?" said Nobby, glancing at a reflection of Big Oars' bottom in a shop window.
"Big Ahs" repeated Big Oars, "I'm going to give up rowing and become a backing singer."
"Like Dooby Doo?" asked Little Nobby.
"Yes, I do like her" said Big Oars. "In fact, Dooby Doo and I have been having ooh la la behind your back for over a year now."
"I thought I heard something" said Little Nobby. And then, incandescent with rage, he picked up one of Big Oars' oars and caved his head in with it.
And that's why Enid Blyton gave up writing about Little Nobby and Big Oars and invented the Famous Five instead.
Tony Thorpe