An old friend called Derek got lucky last week with a young Scandinavian beautician.

He came round to tell me about it last night in a clearly besotted condition.

‘She’s got the sweet face of an angel’ he said ‘with serious come-to-bed eyes,

Her skin is like silk and her tits are so stunning they ought to win some sort of prize.

Not only that, she’s a raver as well, at the height of her sexual prime.

I’ve fingered her, fucked her and eaten her out and she’s cum at least once every time.

Or else, for a change, she strips off while I watch and teases me till I’m in bits,

And then she relieves me by sucking me off or making me cum on her tits.

Six days of this I’ve had, six days so far, with hardly a break for a snack,

I’ve only popped in while she’s having her hair done, I think it was time I got back’.

I thanked him for sharing such wonderful news, and as he walked out of the door

I thought to myself ‘just piss off, you smug bastard, you’re no friend of mine any more’.

Tony Thorpe