noahscript

NOAH’S FLOOD

CHARACTERS

GOD John Ward

NOAH Jon Marshal

NOAH’S WIFE Kendall St. Clair

SHEM Luke Kendall

SHEM’S WIFE Diana Andruska

HAM Nicholas Alexandrou

HAM’S WIFE Barbara Munday

JAPHETH Matthew Glozier

JAPHETH’S WIFE Jan Scott

GOSSIP Avril Craighead

COMMENTATOR Helen Kaye-Watts

Produced by Helen Kaye-Watts

Directed by Kendall St. Clair

Sound Effects by John Rosauer

NOAH’S FLOOD

And first in some high place, or in the clouds if it may be, God speaketh unto Noah standing without the Ark with all his family.

GOD I, God, that all the world have wrought,

Heaven and Earth —and all from naught,

I see my people in deed and thought,

Are set foully in sin.

My spirit shall only remain in man,

Who through fleshly liking is my foe,

Until till six score years have gone.

I’ll see if they will blin.

NARRATOR Blin? Blin? ‘Cease and desist’ more like!

GOD Man that I made I will destroy,

Beast worm and flying fowl,

For on earth they do me annoy

— the folk that are thereon!

It harms me so heartfully,

The malice now that can multiply,

So that sore it grieveth me inwardly

That ever I made man!

Therefore Noah, my servant free,

That righteous man art, as I see,

a ship soon thou shalt make thee,

of trees both dry and light.

Little chambers therein thou make,

And binding-slitch also thou take —

NARRATOR Binding-slitch? Suffering succotash — methinks Noah is meant to make his vessel watertight with pitch!

GOD — do not slacken your efforts:

Within and out, to anoint it with all thy might.

Three hundred cubits it shall be long,

And fifty of breadth to make it strong,

Of height fifty. Take the measurement yourself.

Don’t get it wrong! Thus measure it all round.

One window work through thy wit,

One cubit of length and breadth make it.

Upon the side a door shall sit,

For to come in and out.

Eating places thou make also.

Three roofed chambers in a row.

NARRATOR: Three decks eh? No rowing boat this!

For with water I think to flow

And drown the Man that I did make.

Destroyed all the world shall be

Save thou, thy wife and thy sons three,

And all their wives also with thee,

Shall be saved for thy sake.

NOAH

Ah Lord, I thank thee loud and still,

That to me art in such will,

And sparest me and my house to kill,

As now I truthfully find.

Thy bidding Lord I shall fulfill,

And never more three grieve ne grill,

That such grace has sent to me among all mankind!

NARRATOR Grill? What’s he going to do? Throw a prawn on the medieval barbie? Or maybe his true meaning is to cause no offence to the omnipotent deity?

NOAH turns to his assembled family.

NOAH Have done you men and women all!

Help for whatever may befall.

To build this ship, chamber and hall,

As God hath bidden us do.

SHEM Father I am all ready prepared!

An axe I have, by my crown!

As sharp as any in all this town,

For to get down to it! (makes chopping motion).

HAM I have a hatchet, wondrous keen,

To bite well as may be seen.

A better grounden, sharp and keen,

Is not in all this town. (running finger along a blade)

JAPHETH And I can well make a pin!

And with this hammer (gestures) knock it in,

And go and work without more din,

I am ready boun.

NOAH’S WIFE And we shall bring timber too,

For we can nothing else do,

Women be too weak to undergo any great labour.

SHEM’S WIFE Here is a good chopping block!

On this you may hew and knock,.

Shall none be idle in this flock,

Nor may any one now fail.

HAM’S WIFE And I will go gather slitch,

The ship for to caulk and pitch.

Anointed it must be, every stitch, —

Board, tree and pin!

JAPHETH’S WIFE And I will gather chips here,

To make a fire for you all,

And to prepare your dinner for when you come in.

SFX: construction and DIY sounds.

ACTORS enact hammering (or is that hamming?), sawing and construction motions.

NARRATOR Preparing dinner would seem to be to be a lot easier than ship building — or cleaning up after the hippos. Let’s see who volunteers for that task once they are all at sea and all at sea they certainly already be . . .

NOAH Now, in the same of god I will begin

To make the ship that we shall be in

So that it be ready for to swim at the coming of the flood.

These boards I join here together,

To keep us safe from the weather,

And so that we may row both hither and thither

And be safe from this flood.

Of this tree will I make the mast,

Tied with cables that will last,

With a sail-yard for each blast.

And every kind of thing needed.

With topcastle and bowsprit;

With cords and ropes I have all fit

To sail forth at the next wet.

This ship is ready!

Then NOAH with all his family again make signs of working with different tools.

(NOAH should dust off his hands and stand back as if admiring his handiwork.)

NARRATOR Not exactly George Clooney now, is he? But here comes The Perfect Storm . . .

NOAH Wife, in this castle we shall be kept safe.

I would my children and thou hurry in. (Noah bows with an elaborate flourish toward his wife)

NOAH’S WIFE In faith Noah, I had as soon thou slept.

For all thy frenchified behaviour,

I will not do as you advise.

NOAH (wheedling) Good wife, do now as I thee bid.

NOAH’S WIFE By Christ! Not ere I see more need,

Though thou stand all the day and glare!

NOAH (aside) Lord! Women are always crabby! And are never meek I dare say. This is well seen by me to-day, as you can each witness!

Good wife, let be all the fuss that thou makest in this place here! For they (waves towards audience) all think thou art master, —And so thou art, by St. John!

NARRATOR At least we know who’s in charge.

GOD Noah! Take thou thy family, and in the ship hurried be, for none So righteous to me, is now on earth living.

Of clean beasts with thee thou take,

Seven and seven ere thou break —

He and she, mate to mate,

Quickly bring them in.

GOD Of beasts unclean two and two,

Male and female, and no more.

Of clean fowls seven also —

He and she together.

Of fowls unclean two and no more,

As I, of beasts, said before,

That shall be saved through my lore

when I send the weather.

Of all meats that must be eaten,

Into the ship look that they be gotten.

On no account they may be forgotten!

And do all this betimes.

To sustain man and beast therein

Until the water cease and blin.

(Aside) This world is filled full of sin,

And that is now well seen!

Seven days yet, before it is coming:

You have time them in to bring.

After that it is my liking,

Mankind for to slay.

Forty days and forty nights

Rain shall fall for their unrights.

That I have made through my might,

Now think I to destroy.

NOAH Lord, at your bidding I am ready.

Since nothing else will gain grace,

This will I fain fulfill,

for I find thee gracious.

A hundred winters and twenty,

This ship-making prolonged have I,

In case, through amendment,

Any mercy would fall unto mankind. (turns to his family),

Have done you men and women all!

Hurry, so that each beast were in his stall,

Lest this water fall.

And into the ship brought,

Of clean beasts seven shall be;

of unclean two, this God bade me.

This flood is nigh, well may we see,

Therefore tarry you nought.

Then NOAH shall go into the Ark with all his family, his wife except, and the Ark must be boarded round about, and on the boards all the beasts and fowls hereafter rehearsed must be painted, that these words may agree with the pictures.

SHEM Sir, here are lions, leopards in,

Horses, mares, oxen and swine.

Goats, calves, sheep and kine:

All lying down thou may see.

HAM Camels, asses men may find.

Buck, doe, hart and hind

And beasts of all manner kind,

Are here it seems to me.

NARRATOR Old man Noah had an ark - e-i, e-i-o - And on this ark there was a —

JAPHETH — take here cats and dogs too!

Otter, fox, fulmart also.

Hares hopping gaily go.

Have cabbage here to eat.

NOAH’S WIFE And here are bears, wolves set.

Apes, owls, marmoset.

Weasels, squirrels and ferret.

Here they eat their meat.

SHEM’S WIFE Yet more beasts are in this house, Here cats can all carouse with here a rat, there a mouse1! They stand nigh together.

HAM’S WIFE And here are birds, big and little‘uns:

Herons, cranes and bitterns.

Swans, peacocks and before them,

Food for this weather.

JAPHETH’S WIFE Here are cocks, kites, crows;

Rooks, ravens, many rows,

Ducks, curlews, for whoever knows

Each one of his kind.

And here are doves, ducks, drakes,

Redshanks running through the lakes,

And each fowl that singing makes,

In this ship men may find.

NOAH Wife, come in! Why stands thou there?

Thou art ever perverse, that dare I swear.

Come in, for God’s sake!

It’s high time unless you want to drown!

NOAH’S WIFE Yea, sir, set up your sail and row forth — with bad luck to you! For without any fail, I will not leave this town.

Unless I have my gossips every one,

One foot further I will not go!

They shall not drown, by St. John,

If I may save their life.

They loved me full well, by Christ!

Unless thou wilt let them in thine ark,

Row away Noah wither thou list.

And get thee a new wife!

NOAH Shem, son, lo! thy mother is angry.

Forsooth! such another I do not know.

SHEM Father I shall fetch her in, I think,

Without any fail. (goes to his mother),

Mother, my father after thee sent,

And bids thee into yonder ship wend.

Look up and see the wind,

For we be ready to sail.

NOAH’S WIFE Son, go again to him and say,

I will not come therein today.

NOAH Come in wife, in the name of twenty devils!

Or else stand there without.

HAM Shall we all fetch her in?

NOAH Yes sons, in Christ’s blessing and mine,

I would like you to hurry and waste no time,

For of this flood I am in fear.

GOSSIP

(to Noah’s wife) The flood comes flowing in full fast.

On every side it spreads full far!

For fear of drowning I am aghast.

Good gossip, let us draw near!

NARRATOR There’s only one lifeboat — it’s worse than ‘Titanic’ . . . .

GOSSIP Let us drink before we depart,

For oft-times we have done so,

For at a draught thou drink’st a quart,

And so will I do ere I go!

NOAH’S WIFE Here is a pottle of Malmsey.

Good and strong,

It will rejoice both heart and tongue.

Though Noah thinks us never so long,

Yet we will drink alike.

JAPHETH Mother we pray you altogether —

For we are here your own childer —

Come into the ship for fear of the weather!

For the love of Him that saved you!

NOAH’S WIFE That will I not, for all your call,

Unless I have my gossips all.

SHEM In faith mother, yet you shall, whether you will or nought!

SFX: Sounds of a hard struggle, grunts and pantings and the occasional slap as NOAH’S WIFE, still clutching the Malmsey, boards the Ark.)

NOAH Welcome wife into this boat.

NOAH’S WIFE And have thou that for thy trouble!

She boxes him on the ear.

NOAH Aha! marry I’m catching it hot!

It is good to be quiet.

Ah, children, methinks my boat moves,

Our tarrying here hugely me grieves.

Over the land the water spreads!

God do as he will!

Ah, great God thou art so good,

Whoever works not thy will is wood (taps head)

Now all this world is under the flood,

As I well see in sight.

This window will I shut anon,

And to my chamber will I go down,

Till this flood which is such a great one,

Be lessened through thy might.

SFX: deluge and storm noises.

Then NOAH shall shut the window of the Ark, and for a little space within board he shall be silent — MRS. NOAH however is far from silent and her complaints continue as she bemoans the demise of the GOSSIPS and the fact the Malmsey has run out.

NOAH opens the window and looks round about:

Now forty days are fully gone,

Send a raven I will anon,

If anywhere — earth, tree or stone,

Be dry in any place.

And if this fowl come not again,

It is a sign, to speak truly,

That dry it is on hill or plain,

And God hath granted some grace.

Then NOAH shall send forth a raven, — cawing noises and flapping noises. There is a short pause.

(Continued next page)

NOAH taking a dove in his hand

Ah Lord, wherever the raven be,

Somewhere is dry well I see,

But yet a dove by my loyalty, after I will send.

(To the dove)

Thou wilt turn again to me,

for of all fowls that may fly,

Thou art most meek and gentle.

Then he shall send forth a dove, (cooing and flapping noises) There shall be in the ship another dove bearing an olive-branch in her mouth, which (NOAH shall let down from the mast by a cord in his hand.

Pause (flapping noises ands coos)

NOAH Ah Lord blessed be thou ay, that me hast comfort thus to-day! By this sight I may well say, this flood begins to cease.

My sweet dove to me brought has,

A branch of olive from some place.

This betokeneth God has done us some grace,

And is a sign of peace.

Ah Lord, honoured must thou be!

All earth dry is now, I see,

But yet will thou command me.

Hence I will not go.

All this water is away, therefore as soon as I may, sacrifice I Shall do in faith, to thee devoutly.

GOD Noah take thy wife anon,

And thy children everyone.

Out of the ship thou shalt be gone

And thine all with thee.

Beasts and all that can fly,

Out anon they shall go,

On earth to grow and multiply,

I will that it be so.

NOAH Lord I thank thee through thy might,

Thy bidding shall be done in haste,

And as fast as I may be ready,

I will do thee honour,

And to thee offer sacrifice.

Therefore come in all wise,

For of those beast that be his,

Offer I will this store.

Then going out of the Ark with all his family he shall take his animals and birds and offer them in sacrifice.

NOAH Lord God in majesty, that such grace hast granted me, where all was lost, safe to be, Therefore now I am ready, my wife, my children and my menagerie, with sacrifice to honour thee. Of beasts, fowls as thou mayst see, I offer here right soon.

NARRATOR Hang on! -—you mean you saved those animals only to sacrifice them as soon as it stops raining? No! Wait! Not the brontosaurus! The unicorns — oh no! No! not the unicorns . . Too late!

GOD Noah to me thou art full able,

And thy sacrifice acceptable.

Because I have found thee true and stable,

For thee now must I care.

Curse the earth will I no more,

For man’s sin that grieves me sore, f

Or from youth man has long been inclined to sin.

You shall now grow and multiply,

And earth again you shall build up

Each beast and fowl that may fly,

Shall be afraid of you.

And fish in sea that may swim,

Shall sustain you I you promise.

Do not forbear to eat of them

That you know clean be.

Whereas before

You have eaten grass and roots since you were bore,

Of clean beasts now less and more,

I give you leave to eat,

Except blood and flesh both together,

Of wrong-dead carrion that is here,

Eat not of that in no manner,

From that always you shall forbear.

Manslaughter also you shall flee,

For that is not pleasant to me.

Whoever sheddeth blood —

He or she, — anywhere amongst mankind

The blood foully shed shall be,

And vengeance have that men shall see,

Therefore beware now all ye, you fall not in that sin.

A promise Noah, with thee I make

(And all thy seed for thy sake),

Of such vengeance for to slake,

For now I have my will.

Here I make thee a promise,

That man, woman, fowl nor beast,

With water while the world shall last,

I will no more spill.

My rainbow between you and me,

In the firmament shall be,

As a true token that you may see,

That such vengeance may cease.

That neither man ne woman never more,

Shall be destroyed by water as happened before,

Except for sin that grieveth me sore,

As this vengeance was.

Where clouds in the showers be,

That same bow shall be seen,

In token that my wrath and anger,

Shall never thus be wreaked .

The string is turned toward you,

And toward me is bent the bow—

That such weather shall never show,

And this I promise thee.

My blessing now I give thee here,

To thee Noah, my servant dear,

For vengeance shall no more appear,

And now — farewell my darling dear.

™ _² ˜

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