We are gathered here to remember an extraordinary person, truly one of the most extraordinary people I have ever met.
Stella was a complex and contradictory person. She was an old style conservative; one who valued traditions and rituals, while breaking with them constantly. Hence, while she would be pleased to see so many people turn up in black today as requested, if someone had turned up in a red ball gown she would equally have been delighted, just as Luke and I think she would be pleased with the Christmas decorations that surround us. A mixture of the funereal and the joyful, strikes me as appropriate.
I remember when Luke and Stella first met. At that time I did not know of her at all. Luke for some reason had not turned up for the Friday night game without any warning; something completely unheard of. Rumour was flying that a strange vampiric woman had got her claws into him, aiming for his destruction and desiccation. That sounded kind of interesting. It was not long before I met Stella, when she and Luke invited me over for dinner (Stella was forever inviting people for dinner), and I was immediately struck by her intelligence and eccentricity, and the good time we all had. It was easy to understand Luke’s attraction, and it seemed to me this was a good thing. I am pleased to have been proven correct.
However, despite her slightly in-your-face nature and the appearance of confidence, Stella was strangely lacking in self-appreciation and did not expect people to like her. I remember, perhaps ten or so years after her marriage a conversation on the phone in which it seemed that she was still worried that someday Luke would wake up to the kind of person she was and leave. I personally thought that once Luke had given his heart it would take major science-fiction-like assault surgery to change it. However, with time, she was able to learn from him and accept that she too deserved love, and deserved happiness as much as any human. And of course Luke was the love of her life, and someone she admired and treasured with passion.
A similar contrast can also be seen in her academic work. She was incredibly proud of her right to be called Doctor, and in medical contexts would sometimes emphasise that those people had no rights to the name at all. She wrote a thesis, still on my shelves, which is far better than 90% of the published material on medieval history and literature. It is overtly insightful, witty, passionate and thorough. Reading it you will learn more about the Percy folio and the collection of ballads that it holds than any sane person would require – but you should be entranced. It has more than enough material for 2 or 3 books. Lesser people would have made their careers out of this one work. Yet as far as I know, Stella never published anything from it, and would not move on this no matter what encouragement she received. This I think was a real loss to scholarship.
She left Sydney University which, in many ways, was her second home, and threw her passion into the Sydney Medieval and Renaissance Group and organising their monthly talks. I think it is true to say that she ran the group with an infectious joy and enthusiasm, and was in many ways responsible for reviving it and keeping it alive during the difficult period after it was detached from the University. And of course she provided food.
What I personally remember about Stella, is that during my long years of relative poverty and illness, I was a frequent guest for dinner and for food deliveries. These were gifts which I had no prospect of paying back, and which as far as I know was not expected to pay back. Stella’s dinners were justly famous, she was always trying new recipes and kept a note book to make sure she did not give the same dish to any guest twice (unless they requested it of course). But most of all what is memorable about those dinners was the conversation, her enthusiasm for debate, her delight when she had a new idea, and her delight in encouraging other people to discover their own new ideas. There was always a sense of freedom to suggest anything, no matter how ridiculous others might think it, and see what happened. A kind of mad intellectual generosity. The point was not just her conversation, but the conversation she could awaken. This is why it is certain that she would have been an excellent lecturer and tutor, a true awakener of students. While that was not to be, she served in that capacity for her friends and family and we all benefited from that.
In her final years Stella was not well, she began to lose her precious intellect and her memory, and other sicknesses accumulated. It was not an easy life. Yet, here again her true character shone through; an almost joyous stoicism, her warmth, her kindness, her care and a great capacity for enjoyment in the moment.
She was, a truly extraordinary person, and all of us who met her and got to know her, in any way, were lucky to have that privilege. She has a presence beyond the normal, and it is easy to imagine and feel she is here and will be here. Very easy. It is with great sadness, that we recall she is gone. Good bye Stella and thank you.