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Post date: Feb 19, 2009 12:44:07 AM
Everything's turning around. Not only am I no longer at that unpleasant and neglectful Target job, and not only am I no longer not earning any money as a freelance writer, but I'm now doing editorial work at an extremely cool advertising firm in downtown. I love the work I do there: I love editing, making corrections, making suggestions, researching citations, &c. I'm a freak for loving it, but I love it so much. My coworkers are laid back and very funny, very talented people. There just is nothing to not like about my career now.
I feel awful that Rebecca's still in an unpleasant career, doing work that has nothing to do with her talents, and being socially isolated in a building full of passive-aggressive Norwegian Lutheran Minnesotans. She really needs intellectual stimulation and lively interaction, and her office is bereaved of each. She hasn't exactly come home in tears--that was her previous position. I feel guilty that I got half a year to dink around with my own fruitless writing career and then be plucked by the angels and deposited into a dream job, while she's plugging away and being miserable.
At the same time, my personal social life is non-existent. Week to week, I don't see anyone I used to hang out with. Last night I ran into Maya entirely by accident: in walking home, I breezed past MASA where she was having dinner with her boyfriend. It was great to reconnect with her, in the way that smelling a bowl of popcorn suddenly reminds you that you haven't eaten for fifty hours. I haven't been to Ground Zero or Hard Mondays in about a year, maybe longer. I've never been to Transmission or Chamber, and those are gaining momentum from what I hear. And I always thought I'd have some kind of maffick to retire my famous buckle boots, but in the end I simply dropped them in the trash bin out back, no ceremony.
Instead of wondering who I've become, I have to question who or what I ever was. How much of that former life was actually a part of my identity? How much of it was a role I was fulfilling to pursue a poorly meditated and indefinite outcome? But what else is there to do in this city?
But would it be better anywhere else?