Zimbabwe

8th June

So I've said before this is one of my favourite countries ever and so far today it hasn't disappointed.  I haven't had decent wifi anywhere in weeks - come to Zim and it's here and cheap.  I've had an amazing meal for no money - the scenery is magnificent and the people wonderful.  Did I mention the cheap super fast wifi?  We are not being rich tourists taking what is not unavailable to the locals it is also ethical tourism - the level of education here is incomparable to anywhere else in Southern Africa and the people are born traders.  The supermarkets have fruits, meat and vegetables that have to be seen to be believed - far better than South Africa or England.  It just needs some outside support.  J.R. as we call him will be gone one day and this country could be a model African country.  More later, just photos now - happy birthday mum x

UPDATE: Great roads it's so special, spend some money here...

P.S. Maybe enthusing as my new lantern has been working all night...

9th June

So we had a great evening with some amazing food.  Superfast Internet (for Africa - putting S.A. to shame on (wireless) (no, any) internet access) and drove on towards Harare.  We really wanted to go to the the Great Zimbabwe National Monument but a massive unseasonal storm is hitting Southern Africa so we just headed North.  

We got to Harare O.K then when making a legal right turn at a junction I got pulled over for, "not making the turn correctly, the only mistake was not red light just amber" - I made the turn correctly when asked for $20 - R200 I said, "...fine take me to the station, it's your mistake."  They looked annoyed and told me to follow them to Harare Central Police Station.  I followed the white pickup in front of me which turned out not to be them - as they jumped out and walked to the station with my driver's license - having jumped two amber lights already!   Forty minutes later (because Garmin is shit and only sends you the wrong way up one way streets) - and for the second time on the trip it had got us in trouble - we ended up at  Harare Central Police Staion.

When locals say it - and when you think you're going to be locked up - it sounds like, " Central Arrest Station" - Instead of, "Central Harare Station."  Having spent the night in Cape Town Central Jail, even compared to that local hostelry, I can advise you it is a fucking rough. Every single floor smells of piss and blood.

  Anyway, when we got there and found the guys who had confiscated my UK drivers card, I made a little speech about how they where ripping me off - ruining the image of their country and generally being rude; in typically Zimbabwe style, apologies were offered.  The lady in charge was brilliant and although the arresting men were angry she ruled the roost - African women often do.  No fines were payed and smiles were forthcoming.  But we were in Harare Central Police Station for a bit and left with all our money and health - lucky, lucky people us.    

We're staying in Meikles - the old colonial hotel from Harare just 'cause it was closest to the police station and I didn't want to have drive much more - we're running out of hard currency so if an S.A. bank can't help us tomorrow then we have to leave which is devastating - the people are so good here...

Gold? Brass? Tasteful innit? Pith helmet at Meikles

...the Lion, The Witch and the Lobby...

Harare is the African L.A.

Or New York...

Do you know what?  I'll pass thanks since Bob has a reputation of confiscating the only 'plane for his own use at the last minute.

Busy streets - it's quite a big town.

Sainsbury's seem to have branched out - online home delivery in Zim it seems.

10th June

So a quick trip to the bank established there was nothing we could do to get cash so we decided to leave Zim.  Stopped in a couple of supermarkets and bought an excellent pork pie.  Everything is priced in USD and although they accept Rand you get killed on the exchange rate at the moment.  The shops are full and there was fuel everywhere we went at only a slight premium on S.A. prices.  Talking to the bank manager and the reception manager put it the same way; the phrase used all over is "...it is a bit of a difficult time at the moment.."  However, it seems in the towns to be no different to much of the rest of Southern Africa.  The shops have the same goods for very often cheaper prices.

We drove out of Harare and headed up towards Mozambique, an area called the Tete Corridor.  We had sort of forgotten about this big chunk of Mozambique between Zim and Malawi.  It's basically used as transit between the two countries - there seems to be alot of trade between the two which broadly use English for trade - ignoring the dirty Portuguese speakers.  I don't blame them - how good is your Portuguese?  The border crossing was as bad as we've ever experienced - on a par with the time we entered Zambia on another trip - only entering Mozambique was also dreadful so it was twice as bad.  First of all we had a 'fixer' grab documents out of my hand and proceed to do the Temporary Import Permit (TIP) for me.  This takes two minutes on any border but these guys force their way in and then try and get ridiculous amounts of money from you for their 'services' - basically pissing you off and making you want to risk a fight at border crossing by punching them in the face.

We waited about half an hour at a window to do Immigration 'cause someone was on lunch and then proceeded to the Police Control.  The officer there decided we needed to have a South African Police Clearance form to check the car wasn't stolen - despite us having about 20 documents proving the car was ours.  He eventually got $15 from me the dirty thieving bastard.

Next stop was the Mozambique border where it was more of the same.  We had to pay for a whole new visa and road tax - but saved on the Insurance.  Some kid saw me with a R100 note and asked me to swap it for change as he needed it.  Since I was spending it I said ok - he then tried to charge me commission on the transaction.  I started yelling that owed me commission and eventually a police guy took him away but by this point we'd been at the border for nearly three hours and I was ready to kill someone.

Once through we proceeded to Tete.  It's quite a bustling little town by Mozambique standards.  On the southern banks of the Zambezi it currently has the only Mozambique bridge crossing of the river - elsewhere they use ferrys.  We pissed around following two separate GPS maps to the hotel we were going to stay in only to find neither of them had the correct location so we stayed in an Indian owned place.  Had a meal at which I bought a Frelimo polo shirt.  Frelimo are the ruling party and the revolutionary force that won during the civil war.  I saw a guy wearing one and it looked gangsta... Only when he went to the office to get me one he came back not with a red on like his but a bright yellow one that looks a bit gay.  Still it's got that great symbol of modern africa on it.... an AK47.  The place we stayed was an homage to tat.  There were bits and pieces of stuff lying around everywhere.  A spa pool outside our room yet to be fitted (certainly wasn't going in our room, there wasn't space for it)  Brass interior lights propped up in buckets of rubble and converted to garden lights - it was very odd.  I think the owner must have been a bit of a hoarder.  Our room was nice though it had all the sounds of modern Africa.  Mostly HGV's crashing through a massive pothole right outside.  We slept, just.