Uganda

July 27th cont.

So we crossed the border which was really quite easy for a change.  When we were changing money with the black market guys they were really quite amateur too.  I decided since I knew the dollar/franc rate just to do this.  The guy tried to give me half the actual rate so I laughed at him and negotiated to the same rate the banks use.  He didn't like this much and tried to count two $10 bills as $20's.  Even his friends laughed at him then.  When I found some more francs I was going to change them to Ugandan shillings - he offered the suspiciously round 50,000 and when I hesitated he doubled it to 100,000.  I opted for just USD instead.  Good thing too as there was actually 150,000 worth I found out later.  Cheating, lying, thieving bastard.

We found a little traveler's rest place and stayed the night.  Bizarro wife of the owner kept coming 'round with more coriander for our food during dinner.  Odd couple they were for no especial reason but just oddish.

July 28th

Left dirty little town after reading the the newspapers.  The president here has been in power for 20 odd years but the papers are well written and highly critical.  The elections in 2011 should be explosive.  If you're planning on visiting maybe not then given the problems Uganda's neighbours have had with handing over power lately.  One columnist was so good we're thinking of sending him an email and offering to buy him lunch when we get to Kampala.  We drove down a pretty shitty road for a bit - including a crossing of a runway which was a first - and found a little campsite.  All by 2pm which is a first for us.  Camped the night although sadly the gravel pit next door started up at about 11pm.  Still it was perfectly pleasant.  One of us might have been pie-eyed enough not to have noticed.

July 29th

Got up and realised we needed more fuel which was most remiss of us not to have noticed earlier.  We drove down a road that's being built which was odd.  There were 'dozers and graders everywhere.  Our GPS now has two Ugandan maps on it neither of which work and none of the maps we have seem to bear ay relation to the real world.  We ended up traveling just 200km in around eight hours.  It was dull.  At one point following the GPS we ended up in thick banana plantations.  There are bananas everywhere.  We found a 'Country Club' and stayed there.  Turns out it's owned by the Minister for Privatisations in the Ugandan government.  Same as the campsite we stayed last night.  Same as a load of other places.  Maybe he's a straight up guy.  Maybe I'm just cynical as I just read "It's Our Turn to Eat" by Michaela Wrong on corruption in Kenya.  Or maybe not.  We watched a couple of movies as we've got into TV recently for the first time on the trip.  Last few days we watched the first two episodes of Gavin and Stacey which was funny.  We watched Street Kings with Mr. Charisma Keanu Reeves.  Dull.  Then half of Angels & Demons with Tom Dullard Hanks.  That was fairly dire although it does manage to catch Dan Browns poor grammar in funny way.  Sleep.  

Pretty - but the river probably have made a better road than the we used to get here.

July 30th

Woke up with an empty quart of gin by the bed.  That's what Reeves and Hanks will do to you.  We offed.  Often you find a really overbearing politeness to some of the people in these remote hotels.  They really mean well - but just leave me alone.  I don't need you to come and walk me from my room to the restaurant for dinner.  I don't need you to tell me tonic is better with vodka than coke.  Just piss off.  The only thing that keeps me going is imagining my dad's expression in the same situation.  Ha, brings a smile to my face now.  So whilst acknowledging the benefits to the constitution of a good breakfast in morning to the staff we left.  

We tried to follow crapola GPS to Ishasha in the Queen Elizabeth National Park.  It's the only place in the world where tree climbing by lions is observed.  On the subject of lions I saw a stuffed leopard and a stuffed lion in the park office.  Not particularly to my taste but it was informative.  There is no way the cat I saw a Ngorongoro was a leopard.  They simply aren't big enough.  It was almost certainly a lioness.  The coloration and size (measured against Rhubarb's bumper) are a perfect fit for a lion.  Seeing the stuffed one had a certain spine tingling excitement to it just for that reason.  I thought I was far too jaded for that.  

The Garmin had Ishasha marked as being in the middle of a field 50km from the park itself.  POS.  We got there four or five hours later and found that the two campsites that had been recommended to us are closed "for a short period"  For a short period of the duration of the conflict in the DRC.  We drove around looking at trees trying to see the tree climbing lions and worked out they aren't here at this time of year.  Saw very little game so we headed north to the main camp in the QENP.  Saw lots of elephant, hippos, antelope and stuff on the way in.  Yawn.  No really yawn.  Another eight hours of driving for just 240km on crap roads.  Found a campsite and cooked on the potjie and had elephant walking past in the night.  

Greedy bastards

We're stripping the boy to the bare bones and giving/trading away stuff.  We brought loads of stuff that we haven't used and there's too much clutter.  Mind you you should have seen the crap we had the first trip we did.  We have to be in Cairo the 4th September for foie gras and it's still a long way to go so we're getting lighter and going to put in some distance quickly in the next few weeks to make sure we make it.

Rhubarb doing some work...

July 31st

Woke up.  Elephants munching their greedy selves to bits in the campsite.  Greedy bastards.  Lots of emailing stuff trying to organise Egypt entry.  Dull.

Then we went on a game drive and saw a young juvenile leopard with a very dead rabbit in it's mouth wandering about looking for a place to eat it.  We followed him along about five meters away for a while until he found somewhere nice and secluded to eat it.  Ate and had a big fire to ward off wild animals and 'cause I like burning things.

Leopard having a snack...

Rutting Warthogs

Pretty they ain't.

August 1st

Drove as far as Fort Portal - the gateway to who knows what.  Stayed in a crappy overpriced hotel where a conversation went like this;

–  Could we have a bottle of ––––

–  Sorry we don't have that one.

– Could we have a bottle of ––––

–  Sorry Sir, we don't have any of the wines on that list - I will get you the wine list.

–  (Having received grubby handwritten list)  Perhaps, you should just remove those lists from the menu.

English Manager butts in –  Yes Sir we're working on it.

–  Working on it?  Why don't you just slide the typewritten sheet out of the sleeve, it takes five seconds!

–  Yes but this is Africa.

Wanker.

We celebrated crossing the equator by taking this photo

August 2nd

Drove to Kampala.  It was quite a long way and went to the Red Chile Backpackers.

A Problem with Backpackers

Managers who decide that what they want to watch on TV is more important than the guests.

So me and another guy are watching the Ashes and suddenly the TV is flicked to the start of a Rangers, Arsenal friendly.  We're all about to eat so I left it.  With about twenty minutes left I asked the guys behind the bar to put the cricket on as no one was watching the football.  Manager comes running over and asking me why it had been changed.  The barman pointed at me.

–  We must watch the football.  I am an Arsenal fan.

–  Come on no ones watching, Arsenal are two up and it's only a friendly.

–  It is a very important game.  It is to show the world that we are better this season and will win the Premiership.  We must watch it me and these guys all support Arsenal. (Points at barstaff who look nonplussed.)

– O.K. what league do Rangers play in?

–  (Shouting now)  It does not matter we must watch Arsenal.

We put the tent up, got a refund and went to a cool cheap hotel on top of one highest hill in Kampala with amazing views.  Getting there the GPS took us through a township at night which was awesome.  People cooking, shopping and dancing in the dirt (and dirty) narrow streets.  Kampala is very safe - thieves are often stripped naked in public to shame them.  Hotel had a remarkable bathroom.  Note the goldish rotary telephone - I imagine Tony Montana had something similar.

August 3rd

We checked out and in somewhere else more central to be better located with a load of embassy stuff we had to do.  Went and photocopied lots of stuff and headed off to the Ethiopian embassy where they took our passports and told us to return the next day.  Drove around a load more embassies fruitlessly.  We ate at the hotel and then I went and played some pool in the hotel bar.  The tables were beautiful but there was a sign saying no photography.  This was more likely to do with the vast numbers of young hookers in the place than to do with the modesty of the pool tables.  So I wait my turn to play and notice that everyone has their own cues.  The standard was super high.  I got given someones rather nice ash cue to play with that after I'd won my first two and lost one never reappeared.  I used an old house cue with a split shaft.  Still W10 L4, not bad considering the standard.

Forbidden Photography

August 4th

Collected our passports with visa and found we could do no more on the visa front until Addis.  Had some lunch posted some parcels and had some food I think.  Played some pool in the evening with everyone asking me to play for money.  I played a couple of guys and finished the night with cash, W20+ L3.  While I played some local guy tried to pick her up.  Whilst talking to me he'd be trying to put his arm around her.  Tres amusment.

August 5th

Headed out of town to Jinja, one of the many alleged sources of the Nile.  We found a nice little campsite right by these pretty little waterfall things and stayed and cooked some food.  Toilets were vile though.  I broke two of them.  it's odd as the guys who own the Speke in Kampala where we stayed also own this place - they were actually there while we were doing an inspection and they seem to have no interest in the place.  It must be one of the best pieces of real estate in Uganda.

August 6th

Lazed around and cooked.  Read two books on recent African politics.  One on Zaire and the war their and one on a nuttter called Tony Kony in northern Uganda who wants to rule under by the 10 Commandments.  As long as he can kill whoever he likes and have at least nine wives.

August 7th

Left Uganda.