What is Prayer?

WHAT IS PRAYER?

The usual answer to that question is to define prayer as talking to God.

Others, upon reflection, might enlarge upon it by adding the words "and listening to God".

Whilst there is much truth in both these definitions, I want to broaden the definition and say that, for me, prayer is being with God.

I say this because I am conscious that a lot of people pray, but cannot admit to it, because we have tended to narrow down the definition of prayer to such an extent that they feel excluded and as a consequence shut off, thinking prayer is something that only very mature Christians engage upon.

So let us go back to my definition that prayer is being with God.

In the widest sense, the whole of the Christian life can be described as prayer since life is lived in the presence of God with whom we as Christians enjoy a permanent intimate relationship. God is always there, and whilst we may choose at times to shut him out from our lives, his love for us is steadfast and he goes on loving us.

However, in the narrow sense, there are moments in our lives when we become particularly aware of his presence. Sometimes these are by accident and at other times they are by design.

Let me try to spell out what I mean.

Sometimes we become aware quite unconsciously of the presence of God in our lives.

Maybe it is through the beauty of nature, a sunset, a magnificent view from a hilltop or the calm restful waters of a stream. Such moments of personal exhilaration move us to words of praise and thanksgiving. "The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth his handiwork," exclaims the psalmist. It seems as if through nature God speaks to us, evoking from us words of praise and adoration.

Or maybe it is through the pictures of horrors of war, of famine, of cruelty in our newspapers or on our television screens. Such moments of horror elicit from us words of anger as we wonder why such things happen. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me," said Jesus from the cross as he looked into the darkness of death. Again, it seems that through the picture of suffering, God speaks to us, evoking from us words of anger and concern.

Or again, it may be through personal suffering be it the encountering of an as yet incurable disease or the loss of employment, or the death of a loved one or of a marriage failure. Such personal experiences turn our hearts and minds instinctively to God with the word "Why?" falling from our lips as we try to cope with the experience. It seems as if God through personal suffering speaks to us, evoking from us words of anger and frustration, of disappointment and bewilderment.

In all these illustrations, it is not we who initiate the awareness of God in our lives, but God himself. We quite unconsciously find ourselves drawn to reflect upon the presence of God to express our innermost feelings of the heart.

Then there are those conscious moments when we make a deliberate decision to recall that life is lived in the presence of God, when we use common or private prayers.

Common prayer is when we come together to recall God's presence with us. This includes acts of public worship such as the Eucharist or Morning and Evening Prayer.

Private prayer is when we recall God's presence by ourselves.

Both common and private prayer are deliberate and conscious activities as opposed to those spontaneous unconscious moments. Both, however, express the belief that life is lived with God. Both are occasions of communication between ourselves and God, and between God and us. Hence I describe prayer as being with God.

Perhaps I can try to illustrate what I mean by the analogy of Christian marriage.

Prayer is like marriage. It is a state of being. It is a permanent intimate relationship between two people. One does not have to go round saying "I am married" in order for the marriage to exist.

However, there are times when quite unconsciously, one recalls one’s married state. For instance, if an attractive member of the opposite sex passes by, it evokes the response that one is not free to pursue because one is married.

Similarly, there are times when one makes a conscious acknowledgment of the marriage such as celebrating a wedding anniversary.

What is prayer? It is being with God. Such a definition seems to embrace all aspects of life with God. A life which involves speaking, listening, thinking and of course silence which all contribute towards my companionship with God. In the same way as they also contribute towards companionship with one’s spouse in marriage.