Physician, Heal Thyself

PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF

(Preached at St. Mary’s, North Mymms, February 1998)

In 1990, Ben Fletcher, who was Head of Psychology at the then Hatfield Polytechnic published a book entitled "Clergy under Stress". This was the result of a survey he undertook of stress among clergy in the Church of England and a subsequent study of those who were homosexuals. This also became a subject for a Channel Four Documentary.

The conclusion was that "whilst the majority of clergy are able to function reasonably well, there is a small but sizeable minority who exhibit a great deal of stress. These are the clergy with a homosexual orientation".

As far as I know this was the first serious study ever undertaken of stress among clergy, although the wives attending the Bishops’ Lambeth Conference two years earlier had indicated that this was the one subject they most wished to talk about.

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However, stress has become a much more serious problem among clergy in recent years - or perhaps they are now more willing to acknowledge that they are not immune from the stress that other professions experience.

Earlier this year, a report was published entitled "Support for Clergy Marriage". This acknowledged that when a crisis comes, it is always tragic, usually messy, and often sufficiently ugly to excite the attention of the media. Such a crisis is generally preceded by long standing stress, mostly smothered, privatised and caged.

The issues raised, which are specifically related to clergy, are those over and above those experienced for other caring professions such as teachers, police officers and doctors. Amongst the most commonly stated causes of clergy stress are:

Firstly, the expectations from outside observers that the clergy family should provide the model of an earthly "holy family", and the need of such observers that it should be so.

Secondly, the idealism and "be perfect" dynamic which allows those outside expectations to be absorbed, whether this is done consciously or subconsciously.

Thirdly, the fact that there are few limits attached to the role of clergy, so there are few prescribed goals, and no allowable let-up.

And fourthly, the belief that the clergyman, or clergywoman, is doing "God's work". Whereas most spouses can fight back when their partner is giving too much attention either to work or to someone else, the clergy spouse has no defences against such intrusions.

These are the main issues that accompany living in a goldfish bowl of a vicarage, accompanied by the obvious material stresses of fund raising, lowish income, the set-apart housing and the office in the home, and so on.

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It is when such stresses are smothered, they can so easily build up into crisis. Little wonder one often hears the criticism which Jesus also had to face, "Physician heal thyself”. For unless we are whole people we cannot begin to bring healing to others whose lives are torn apart with dis-ease.

Now I raise this subject today, because the theme for our services is "Jesus the Healer" and we tend so often to focus our attention only upon the healing ministry of the church. But that can only be effective if we are healed ourselves.

And this applies not just to clergy, but to all Christian men and women, and that includes both you and me. So often we are so busy seeking to bring care and comfort to others, that we fail to recognise our own need for care and comfort. Sometimes, this is out of genuine Christian concern for others, but alas, it can often be a form of escapism from facing the reality of our own lives.

Carl Jung, tells the story of a clergyman, who had been working for fourteen hours a day, coming to him suffering from emotional exhaustion. Jung's advice was that he should work only eight hours a day, and then go home and spend the evening alone in his study.

The clergyman agreed to follow his advice. He worked only eight hours, and then went home to his study. There he played Chopin and read a novel by Hesse. The following day he also worked eight hours and then went home to his study. This time he played Mozart and read Thomas Mann.

On the third day, he went back to Jung complaining that he was not feeling any better. "But you do not understand," Jung replied, "I did not want you with Herman Hesse, or Thomas Mann or even with Chopin or Mozart. I want you to be alone with yourself”.

"But," protested the clergyman, "I cannot think of any worse company". Jung replied, "Yet this is the self you inflict upon other people for fourteen hours a day!"

I think this makes the point very clearly that healing must start with ourselves.

In a recent article by Wanda Nash the former Chairwoman of the International Stress Management Association attention is focused upon the model of Christ in preventing the accumulation of stress and its harmful effects. After all, prevention is better than cure.

She points out that Christ was exposed on earth to expectations that far outrun anything we might meet: and yet the evidence in the gospels is that he made use of all the stress-management skills we also have available today.

She lists them as follows and I quote them in full because I believe they can assist all of us in our life of discipleship.

Firstly, "His time management was superb" she says. "After all he had only three years or so to complete his task".

Secondly, "He had single-minded economy of energy, so he delegated tasks to others".

Thirdly, "He prioritised and dealt with interruptions".

Fourthly "He maintained physical fitness" by taking long walks, fresh air, good food, and last but by no means least, the use of wine.

Fifthly "He also used restraint in following up any but those in his closest circles".

She concluded by drawing attention to two particular skills which he displayed throughout his ministry.

Firstly, was his ability to withdraw, so as to rest with his disciples, recoup in solitude; refrain from being drawn into disputations that were getting nowhere; and most importantly of all, to revel in communion with his Father.

Secondly, was his ability to resist being hooked into whatever people wanted of him, as we are drawn to do.

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I raise these issues today not only because, as I said earlier, our theme is Jesus the Healer, but also because in a few days time we shall commence the season of the church's year known as Lent.

I recall a Churchwarden in Liverpool, many years ago, reflecting upon his keeping of Lent and observing that he and his wife had not spent a single evening together due to their various commitments to church work. Yet this is the church that claims to value marriage so highly!

With that in mind, I recall that when I was a Vicar in Plymouth I suggested that we should give up meetings for Lent. Upon reflection I am not sure that this did much for the state of marriage either!

What I am really suggesting is that we should plan to use this coming season of Lent as a time for making contact with our inner selves. That we should learn to withdraw in order to recharge our batteries as Jesus did so often in his lifetime. That we should engage in making ourselves physically fit, and above all, that we should re-examine our lives with a vlew to prioritising.

On Monday last, I had a clergy wife call to see me in a distressed state. I obviously cannot tell you the causes of her stress because that is confidential. In our conversation, I focused her attention upon that anonymous prayer, that you may have heard:

"O God,

give me the strength to change the things that I can change,

the patience to accept the things that I cannot change,

and the wisdom to know the difference".

It is often because we do not have the wisdom to know the difference, that we become so hot under the collar which ultimately leads to stress which can build up to a crisis: stress, which affects both clergy and laity alike; stress which makes us ineffective in being agents of God's continuing healing and ministry; and stress which blinds us to our real needs. And so my message to you this morning is - not a criticism this time but advice - "Physician, heal thyself”.

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In conclusion may I draw your attention to the words of a poster which Wanda Nash saw. It read "You don't have to be totally, personally, irrevocably, irredeemably, responsible for everything; that’s my job. Love, God".