Commented on November 27, 20089:51 am
I“This reframing A.D.H.D. as a gift, personally I don’t think it’s helpful,” said Natalie Knochenhauer, founder of A.D.H.D. Aware, an advocacy group in Doylestown, Pa. “You can’t have a disability that needs to be accommodated in the classroom, and also have this special gift. There are a lot of people out there — not only do their kids not have gifts, but their kids are really struggling.”
Ms. Knochenhauer, who has four children with the disorder, says they too were inspired by the astonishing performance of Mr. Phelps in Beijing. But she added, “I would argue that Michael Phelps is a great swimmer with A.D.H.D., but he’s not a great swimmer because he has A.D.H.D.”
I am not sure where to write this because I am new to the Times, but I do find quoting people like Ms. Knochenhauer is a disservice to people like me who discovered ADHD at the age of 50. I never knew why I was unusual, but never struggled to be a successful employee, an advocate and an active single parent, and, all at once. It was always a chore to get my brain under control, because, when left uncontrolled by medication, as people like Ms Knochenhauer probably advocate the use of pharmaceuticals, the thought patterns far out way the patterns of “normal” people.
What the people fortunate enough to have this “disorder” need is an education system geared to and run by people with ADHD. Teaching the ADHD crowd with traditional methods is like teaching a person fluent and brilliant in Mandarin in Gaelic. We ARE different, and as one scientist believes, we may in fact be evolutionally advanced beyond the general population. I do not find immediate results from reading, but for some reason absorb everything; I rarely use instruction manuals, or even follow instructions, but it seems I have a better than average success when even assembling a child’s toy Christmas Eve. I could sit in the board room and ask a question, already know the answer, have another question ready and probably know the answer and all the while be listening to the conversations around me. I don’t, of course, do what the so called “normal” do and I do procrastinate seriously; the result. I finish on time, my own way, being able to sit and write or act almost spontaneously at the last minute and always successful in any endeavour. Why? Because I have the ability to formulate and operate within the confines of my own head. I am able to talk on any subject, can run a good bluff if necessary, but could not tell you what I have just written.
Mr Phelps is of course an excellent example to an ADHD child but there are many, many more greater examples. Richard Branson, a self made magnet in the U.K,. is just one and Dr. Hollowell, himself, of course, lists many known or possible ADHD icons. Some believe that Hemingway, Roosevelt, Churchill, Van Gogh and even some suspect Da Vinci…most of the brilliant out-of-the-box thinkers and the creative.
The H part? Wow man, no one without this amazing gift can even comprehend how we can jump from a plane, learn to ski, on my own, at 40 and then ski mountains, learn to climb at 55, be found on the roof of a 3 story house at 3, storm chase in a sailboat because “normal” sailing is boring, running a snowmobile flat out through a gate, (never said it was a safe life). Of course we will experiment with drugs but most of us, left alone, will not become addicted. I have tried every illegal drug imaginable, no fun if it is legal, and am not addicted. I do use cannabis but I only drink socially. I am not addicted nor do I depend on anything to survive because I had a mother who, not even knowing the name, who encouraged me to be ME. I was fortunate to get out of the mainstream education system very early on, then proceeded, alone, completing my high school and going on to a degree in business administration. My first job was actually running through rush hour traffic delivering newspapers to stores and ,while educating myself. I became the youngest elected member, 17, of the Toronto executive of the Newspaper Guild and moved up in the company until it closed and I moved on to be a part of the birth of a new paper. Being ADHD, I committed occupational suicide, as I call it, and moved to a job I found boring and hated every minute of it, but made the best of it because I then had a family. I advocated, the rest of my time, for the men I worked with in a non-union environment…going from the blue collar level to the boardroom without any thought at all. I was engaged after a two week’s dating and married in four months…spontaneity. I was divorced, normal for ADHD, we do make our partner’s life hell at times, when my children were very young, and, then I orchestrated and won a legendary custody battle, war actually, by myself only with a lawyer by my side; I wrote my own final agreement eliminating the lawyers.
And why? Because my mother was not subjected to the do-gooder advocacy groups and people like Natalie Knochenhauer and groups like her’s, often are led by people like her who are justifying her children’s “disorder”, “handicap” and all the other expletives they use for this incredible gift. It is almost like they feel because they have a child with ADHD, that they can understand, and they cannot. They almost seem like they are relieving their own mind, guilt, because they believe they have damaged children. Well, my mother did not believe she had a damaged child and she neither knew nor understood, but she worked with her gifted child and he has had one amazing and successful life. I often tell people at my age, 58, that I had done more in my life by 20 than they will ever do in their lifetime. I have trouble with things like grammar as shown here…I usually write in leader mark format as I can write as I think, I still use my fingers to keep track, I have a unique concept of math…often getting the same result as others in my head, my brain almost wanders around on its own, the multitasking is tiring, I have trouble with relationships and friendships which I really do not want anyway, I subconsciously keep control of my finances…never think of money but never seem to get into trouble, I drive way too fast and drive a car an 18 year old would be driving, I still take risks and will probably die doing something stupid, but, my life is amazing and I would not want to be one of the perceived perfect people. That must be so boring.
So to sum up, listen to doctors like Dr. Edward M. Hallowell because he did not discover his ADHD until 32, I believe, and he understands the gift he has and was never drugged to satisfy a teacher who has neither patience nor the knowledge of the real gift these children, myself, have. I would not trade my life with ADHD for anything as I feel special, not “handicapped”. I must be so boring to be “normal”.
— bruce borland