The Culture of Aging

Introduction

We all live with cultural assumptions about aging: cognitive and physical decline go hand-in hand, aging is determined by our genes, creativity and new pursuits are not possibilities as one gets older, and life is static. What do these assumptions imply about our beliefs and behaviors? How do they play out in our personal views of our peers, at HILR, in our communities, and in the larger world? Various activities on aging at HILR have led us to question these assumptions and search for ways to present individuals and institutions in the later stages of life with diversity, dignity, and purpose.

Americans have historically struggled with race, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation. Our generation has witnessed the effects of racism and sexism and the societal or cultural changes that came with the civil-rights, feminist and gay rights movements of the last century.

I think that a major adjustment in retirement is not getting paid and is connected to my feelings of self-worth. I didn’t want to do volunteer work because I felt that was devaluing my professional skills. I was also leery of betraying feminism by falling into a traditional unpaid role. (Peg Senturia)

Age is another cultural classification that separates a group of people and applies specific descriptors and limitations. Ageism is an assumption that chronological age is the determining factor of human characteristics and depending on circumstance, one age is better than another. An ageist point of view embraces attitudinal stereotypes as well as the practices that support those beliefs.

The traditional cultural view of aging is one of decline and loss. However, we challenge the negative stereotypes that place these concepts as the core of aging. Decline and loss are certainly realities, present, in all our lives and discussed at some length in this essay. Nevertheless, as we examine ideas about aging in relation to customs, beliefs, values, self-image, and institutional support, we reject the idea that the most salient question of this stage is how to halt or slow down the decline of body and mind.

We are living at a time when people who retire at 65 may live 20 or 30 more years. By and large, we are healthy and have energy for intellectual pursuits, recreation, and creative endeavors. Our cognitive abilities are still vigorous. And as we shape our lives at this juncture with new or different cultural assumptions, institutions such as HILR are responding as well. Just as we changed stereotypes of race, gender, and sexual orientation a generation ago, we hope through our work to change the decline-and-loss perspective of aging.

New Pathways is a step in a cultural transformation or lens for viewing this stage of life. These self-reflective essays reveal the complexity of the human experience. Although the themes of decline and loss are present, our stories also illustrate the triumphs, joys, resiliency, and challenges of this stage of life in a diversity of lifestyles and intellectual pursuits. What has intrigued us about the writings in this volume is not only the variety but also the openness and honesty with which people articulate their reflections on this journey.

Beyond the Life Cycle

It may be natural to think that elderly people don’t change that much and that we are already well defined. As Hy Kempler discussed in “Identity,” the opposite is more the case. As we talked about these ideas together, fellow editor Stan Davis commented:

I am no longer in harness. My major load was my job and I learned to do it well. I am conscious that this is a time of liberation from past activities and ties.

One long-standing cultural assumption of our age cohort, under the influence of Erik Erikson, is that the life cycle involves a series of stages from birth to death with roles and tasks at each stage. But since we are living longer and living healthier and more vigorous lives, those tasks and roles are not the complete picture. Previous stages have a task: a time to study, marry, work, bear children. What about this stage? We pondered these questions both in our writing and our discussions and agreed with Erikson that this may be a time to see each of our lives as a whole, to understand the triumphs and satisfactions as well as the limitations and disappointments.

As we think about the end of our lives and some kind of summing up, I think about what I’ve done well, what I’ve done that I’m not so happy with, what I’ve contributed, whom I’ve made happy, how I’ve done with my kids. (Pat Ruopp)

Many cultures ascribe wisdom to this stage of life, and as we wrote and talked, the question, “What is wisdom?” continually came up. Pat Ruopp expressed it this way:

Reading now means more to me, even though I was an English major and a passionate reader. I think to myself, I’m much wiser now, and I feel better about myself, more comfortable than ever before. I have grown into my life. That’s wonderfully satisfying.

“Looking back at my own life gave me a sense of where I had placed my priorities and what I want to do with the rest of life,” reflected Stan Davis. “Facing the past and the present together makes each more fulfilling.” Hy Kempler added: “Aging makes me think about who I am. The mask is off; I am free to think about things I would never have contemplated before. I am not as concerned with what others think.”

Engaging in this project through both writing and study groups helped some of us to move beyond Erikson’s reflections and to begin to think about new possibilities for ourselves despite loss, pain and change. The late Laura T. Gifford wrote: “For the first time since I retired I feel empowered by what I learned in this study group.” Many of us began to think about who we are as individuals, as family members, as grandparents, as citizens, as members of an institute for retirement.

Physical Decline Is a Reality

Although we feel strongly that decline and loss are not the central issues for most of us, we do know that physical decline is an important aspect of this stage of life, for some more than for others.

I retired at 75, and now, three years later, as I continue to age, I’m losing more and more of my capabilities. Neither my body nor my mind work as well as they once did. Although I feel young, I realize I am getting old. Not elderly yet, but old. I run for exercise, but I had to stop because my knees couldn’t take it any longer. Now, the only time I run is when I’m trying to catch a bus. (Peter Kugel)

Since I became a widow, I’ve had six surgeries, breast cancer, a carotid endartarectomy, a thyroid shutdown, a parathyroid removal, a torn meniscus, recent hip surgery, and I broke a bone in my foot. Though I feel my physical frailties I was never an athlete, so the losses are more psychological than physical. Despite these losses, I experience this stage of my life as a huge net gain. This is my freedom to be entirely who I am. (Pat Ruopp)

As we analyzed the various personal essays we came to realize that there were some variations with age. We were all dealing with physical issues, but differently. People in their sixties and early seventies were more concerned with bodily issues, while the older members focused more on finiteness and mortality. Perhaps these colleagues had already accepted the realities of physical decline and were now looking toward the next stage.

Although some people are more apprehensive about dying than others, everyone expressed some concern about the process of dying. The fear of a long painful illness includes anxiety related to helplessness and dependency. Today, many families are geographically dispersed, and there are concerns about caretaking in the later stages. A group of people in the Cambridge community, including many from HILR, have developed a program for assisting people who live in their own homes and may need help as they age.

The interest in physical attractiveness is lifelong. At the later stages of life, the loss of former good looks, the wrinkling of the skin, the graying of the hair, the changing body structure, the changing sexual needs, and the shock of looking in the mirror and seeing your parent are often difficult to accept.

Because the core of the program at HILR is intellectual and members also lead the study groups, it is only natural that some of the fear or anxiety is about declining mental abilities. Alzheimer’s is a realistic concern: “Can I do all that reading?” “I have always taken three study groups. I am not sure I can continue to do that.” “Maintaining my health is almost a fulltime job.” “Acknowledgement of my physical reality is very depressing.”

Changing the Culture at HILR

Two important dimensions to a contemporary conversation on the culture of aging concern us here. The first is personal experience in the later stages of life, and the second is societal images of aging. Just four or five years ago even HILR did not encourage conversations about aging, either informally or formally in study groups. There was a conscious reluctance to encourage study groups and discussions on aging. The general attitude was that people were not interested in these topics.

Attitudes began to change in 2005 when the Curriculum Committee initiated a series of open conversations regarding various disciplines, including aging. The aging studies group led to a grassroots response, and different sub-groups and study groups emerged under the umbrella, “Conversations on Aging.” The New Pathways project was one of them. Although there were members who were, and still are, wary about this development and do not take part, the reluctance to talk about aging diminished dramatically. The administration and standing committees were supportive. Studies on aging through conversations groups, study groups, and the writing groups are now a recognized component of HILR and reflect a dramatically important and different attitude in the culture of the institution.

The following step-by-step process illustrates how these changes evolved. The conversations on aging evolved into four roundtables:

1) exploring aging through literature and film;

(2) studying aging minds and the concept of wisdom;

(3) exploring self-study through personal narratives; and

(4) researching possibilities for political action and advocacy.

Approximately 100 members were involved in one or more of these groups at one time or another. The first two roundtables met for a year in monthly and bimonthly meetings. The third roundtable resulted in New Pathways. The roundtable on political action focused on the HILR Green Initiative, which led to involvement with other Harvard campus groups; a description can be found in Charles Allen’s essay, “Old Dogs, New Tricks,” in the section on “Community.”

Several study groups on aging studies also emerged. The first one, “Aging: Challenge and Opportunity,” focused on Buddhism and various literary writings related to aging. “The Aging Challenge” was a multidisciplinary colloquium that examined the individual life cycle, cognition, aging through literature and poetry, cross-cultural perspectives on aging and mortality, and philosophical perspectives on aging. Another study group, “The New Age of Aging,” examined the hidden cultural roots of this stage of life. This emphasis was the point of departure for exploring the commonalities, riches, limitations, and possibilities during this period of life. A study group, “Keys to Longevity and Well-Being: The Art and Science of Aging Well,” emphasized the cognitive and health aspects of aging and theoretical and practical ideas for aging well. At least 80 members have taken one of these study groups.

A sample of the responses from two of the study groups provides a portrait of the impact of this movement at HILR. “It is satisfying to be surrounded by people who are aging well.” “It is validating to know that other people are struggling with the same issues.” “I have changed my self-image.” “I was not really aware how ageism is portrayed in the various media.”

After the first publication of New Pathways, the editors initiated many self-study writing groups, which drew in at least 25 additional members. Several of their essays are included in this second monograph. Approximately five years ago, aging studies in any form were not part of HILR. Since then, at least 200 people have participated in one way or another to date, a remarkable and satisfying institutional change.

A big plus for me has been the interest taken for the first time at HILR in the aging process—the darker side of growing older and facing new and difficult challenges. I think this is one of the most important developments at HILR since I became a member .… I feel that these new groups bring a necessary counterpoint and added dimension to the notion of learning in retirement. (David Rich)

The Larger Cultural Context

The larger cultural context is the image of aging at all levels of society. We are not living in a cocoon at HILR. Although there are many kinds of programs for older adults, courses and other learning activities that confront the dilemmas and transitions of aging are generally not available. Both within and outside HILR, our youth-oriented society requires us to think about and find words to develop a positive sense for our own aging. As we compare the traditional views of aging with our own reflections individually or as a group, we move beyond the model of decline and transcend the clichés, myths, and cultural stereotypes about aging.

We do not fit those traditional assumptions because we are engaged in complex intellectual activities that reinforce the positive and creative aspects of our lives. The intellectual discourse in many of the study groups is satisfying and expansive. A member evaluating a study group on aging wrote: “I learned to feel personally empowered from this experience and to have a different point of view regarding the possibilities for the rest of my life.” She was no longer accepting the imposed limitations of a culture framed by loss and youth and was moved to understand new opportunities.

Concluding Remarks

In The Mature Mind, Gene D. Cohen suggests that because people are living longer, we need to generate new ideas about the possibilities of a life beginning with retirement. These include reevaluation, exploration, liberation, innovation, and celebration. These ideas are already alive at HILR through the academic model of study groups, roundtable discussions, and the reflective examination in our personal narratives.

We have begun to understand on a deeper level the issues and complexities of this stage of life. We realize that there is a fundamental change not only in our lifestyles, but also how we view each other and ourselves. A highly functioning community of older adults such as HILR also helps to promote dignity and a positive self-image for everyone. It may be ironic, but studying our own aging leads us to relish our mental and creative abilities and know that they are still available.

Age is a cause—like race and gender—that rightfully allies itself with principles of narrative freedom, of economic justice, and human rights. There are many ways to contribute to a revolution. (Margaret Morganroth Gullette, Aged by Culture)

This is what we are doing at HILR.

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