Unattainable Freedom
Notebook in hand, Will walked the city streets on his way home from work. The city lights shimmered brightly in the cold night air, trying to number themselves with the stars. I wish this walk would last forever. Will thought as he rounded the corner. It was obvious which house was Will's, not because he had lived there all his life, but because of the fact it had fallen into a state of disrepair. The brown, dying grass crept across the lawn like a parasitic infection attempting to spread to the rest of the neighborhood. The sidewalk was uneven, split by massive fissures caused by the overgrown lawn. Will's constant coming and going was the only sign that the place hadn't been completely abandoned.
Dammit! He's back already. Will thought as he noticed the beat up Ford pickup in the driveway. He took out his keys and quietly unlocked the door. With a light shove, the door creaked open, and Will braced himself for the worst.
"I thought I told you to be home by eight!" A voice yelled from the other room.
"The train was running late, sorry!" Will called back as he walked into the living room.
The only light was that from the dim glow of the TV, lightly illuminating the sea of empty beer bottles that littered the floor. His father sat in a recliner, facing the TV and away from his son. He sighed as he guzzled down another bottle and cast it aside.
"Don't give me that sorry bullshit. You could have made it if you ran, lazy sack of shit." He mumbled, refusing to even look at his son.
He noticed Will clutching his notebook in the reflection of the TV. He grabbed another beer as he flipped channels.
"What the hell is it with you and that stupid notebook? Planning to publish your life story. You know nobody gives two shits about you, right?" his father groaned.
"It's for my poetry." Will replied sullenly.
"Oh, poetry is it? Lemme take a look." his father demanded, reaching his hand over the back of the chair.
"Will hesitated, knowing now it was a mistake to have said anything in the first place.
"Give it!" his father demanded sternly.
Will handed his father the notebook, trembling as it left his hand. Before he could even begin to worry about what his father might say, a loud ripping noise echoed through the room. Again and again, the noise tore through Will's soul.
"I didn't raise my son to be no goddamn pansy. Now get out of here!" his father yelled, throwing the shredded remains into the graveyard of empty beer bottles at his feet.
Will stormed up to his room, eyes welling up with tears. He slouched over his desk and skimmed through one of his old notebooks. His eyes scanned the pages, until one date caught his eye, February 14th, 2004. He read the poem, memories flooding his mind, overwhelming emotions he tried so hard to suppress rushing back to the surface.
The angel has gone
left for her home
leaving me in this hell
for my sins to atone
In a rage, Will tore the page from his notebook, crushing it in his hand, and threw it against the wall. He put his head in his hands, bitter tears flowing down his cheeks. He cried out from the depths of his soul, finally starting to release all the pain he had bottled up for those long difficult years. Will stood up and walked back downstairs, storming out the front door. He could hear his father yelling as he slammed the door behind him.
That was six months of work that bastard destroyed! Six freaking months! Why the hell do I even put up with his shit. Just because I've been doing it for the past four years doesn't mean I can't stop now. Will thought as he wandered through the city.
When he finally started to calm down, Will took a quick look around. He impulsively looked down at his watch.
Eleven-thirty!? Dammit I lost track of time! He thought as he started running down the street.
Wait, why am I running? I have no clue where the hell I am! Will thought as he slowed to a stop.
He noticed an old apartment complex off in the distance. The decrepit old building stood out like a sore thumb against the other buildings. Something about it seemed to call to Will as he approached. Ducking under the yellow caution tape lining the sidewalk, he made his way toward the graffiti covered front door. It let out a strangely inviting groan as Will gently nudged the door open. Barely able to see ahead of him, Will stumbled through the hall. Graffiti covered the wall, written in what might as well have been an alien language. He reached a musty old staircase, a thick layer of dust covering each step. As he started his ascent, he noticed the graffiti continued for quite some way. Finally reaching the twelfth floor, the graffiti suddenly stopped, but in its place was something very peculiar. Someone had drawn a beautiful mural on the door to the thirteenth floor. It was a bird's eye view of the city streets. Will opened the door to find himself in a tiny solitary room. The walls were covered with words scribbled in what looked like red marker, or possibly blood. Most made up the phrases "Life is Hell" or variants thereof, but one was in stark contrast. Above the lone window on the far wall was written a single word.
"FREEDOM" Will read aloud, walking to the window.
He looked down and immediately recognized the city street as the one painted on the door.
Did someone... Jump?
He looked around a bit, leaning out the window.
But maybe that is the answer, I mean all I have left anyway are my poems and that sorry excuse for a father. Maybe he'll finally appreciate me when I'm not around to support his lazy ass.
Thump-thump-thump
His heart raced in sync with his mind, working up the courage to embrace this newfound freedom.
"STOP!" a voice yelled from behind him.
Will nearly fell out the window from shock, the only thing stopping him being a pair of hands that caught him just in time, pulling him back inside.
"Thanks" he wheezed, still trying to catch his breath.
In front of him stood a young girl. Despite her child-like frame, her face was surprisingly sharp and mature. Her pale complexion and long, snow-white hair stood out in contrast to the pitch black dress she was wearing. She stared at him with her wide gray eyes as she walked to the window.
"So you really didn't want to die. Is that why you thanked me?" she asked, taking a seat on the window ledge.
"N-no, I just didn't want it to be an accident!" Will lied, his eyes darting to the floor.
The girl started gently swinging her bare feet, eyes staying fixed on Will.
"I know what you must be going through." she said, biting down on the tip of her thumb as she held back her tears.
"How could you know what it's like living with that bastard!" Will yelled angrily.
"I've been through the same thing." She replied sullenly.
"Listen, I don't need your whole turning point story of how your life magically got better, because..."
"It didn't get better..." the girl suddenly cut him off.
"My life never turned around... I-I...I..." she stammered, eyes quickly welling up with tears.
Will watched, his heart wanting to reach out to her, but at the same time struggling to control his own pain.
"I went through with it... I jumped!" she suddenly blurted out, what little composure she did have left suddenly melting away.
"I thought there would be freedom on the other side, but I just found myself in another damn cage!" she cried.
Will wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face in his shoulder.
"What happened to you?" Will asked.
"I don't remember..." she said, drying her tears.
"What do you mean?"
"All I remember is the moments before I jumped, finishing the mural on the door. That, and you." she replied, a painful smile forcing its way through her tears.
"Do you have a name, or did you forget that too?" Will asked, still clutching the girl in his arms.
"Anne... I think... I'm not sure.
Something about that name struck him as odd, ringing through his mind with a strange, implacable familiarity.
"I-I really don't like that name though..." she continued.
"It's okay, think of a new one then." Will said encouragingly.
She let go of Will and sat down on the floor. She stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.
"Mina." she said.
"Mina... I like it!" Will replied with a smile.
"I'm glad you do." Mina chimed, donning one of the most precious smiles Will had ever seen.
Will looked down at his watch and saw the time.
"Shit! Dad's gonna kill me. It's already one in the morning." he said, letting out a startled yell.
He looked over to see Mina scamper to the corner, cowering in fear.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." he said, gently patting her head.
She turned and jumped into Will's arms, eyes full of tears.
"I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" Will said as he rubbed her head.
She let go and gave him a silent nod, eyes still red and watery. He walked out the door and back down the long set of stairs. He ran back to his house and took out his keys. Hands trembling, he quietly unlocked the door, praying his dad had already fallen asleep.
-Click-
He waited a moment, slowly opening the door. It let out a faint creak as is swayed. Again Will paused, waiting for a response from his father. Sensing the coast was clear, Will sneaked up to his room. He rummaged through his closet and drawers, grabbing a few days worth of clothes. He took all his notebooks off his shelf and stuffed everything into a large backpack, which he slid under his bed. Feeling content with his preparations, Will fell asleep.
Will slowly opened his eyes, the angry screaming of his alarm clock rousing him from sleep. He fumbled for the off switch as he rolled out of bed. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt out of the closet and got dressed. He pulled the backpack out from under his bed and threw it over his shoulder.
"I think thats everything." He said, taking a quick look around one last time.
Walking over to the door, he noticed the crumpled piece of paper still on the desk from the previous night. He picked it up, carefully unfolding it, and slipped it back into place.
Will ran out the door and made his way through the city. He stopped by the old apartment building on the way to work. He took off his backpack and hid it in the bushes on the side of the building. Making sure the bag was concealed, he continued on his way to the train station. He took out his ticket and fed it through the turn style as he approached the platform. The train came to a screeching halt at the platform only moments after Will had arrived. He stepped aboard the empty train and took a seat by the window. Watching the scenery crawl as the train departed, Will leaned back in his seat. He reached in his pocket for a pen and then felt around beside him, instinctively reaching for his notebook.
"Dammit! I left it in my bag." He muttered, starting to mope.
"Looking for this?"
Will turned to see Mina sitting next to him, hands gently holding one of his notebooks. She handed it to him, giving him a smile as the book exchanged hands.
"You're a really good writer." she said, putting her hand on Will's.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"You stopped by this morning, so why didn't you come up to see me?"
"I had to run to work, so I only came to drop off my stuff. I'm going to move in tonight." he replied.
"Okay, I'll wait for you at home." Mina said with a smile.
In the blink of an eye the train passed through her, leaving her hovering over the tracks. Will opened his notebook and began to write. Soon enough, the train screeched to a halt at its next stop. Will stood up and walked off the train. He continued down the street and walked into a small art gallery.
-Ring-
The door closed, gently ringing the bell tied to the frame. A large, dark skinned man in overalls approached Will. The gallery spotlight lightly reflected off his bald head, illuminating the sweat running down his brow.
"Just in time Will. Mind giving me a hand setting up these new arrivals?" the man asked cheerfully.
"Sure thing Gerald." Will replied as he walked into the back storage room.
"You said your mom was a painter, right?" Gerald asked, propping open the door to the gallery.
"..."
"Still a touchy subject I see. Sorry for bringing it up, but I saw one of her pieces on the list for this week. Just thought I'd give you the heads up."
"Thanks, but I think I'll be okay." Will replied as he grabbed one of the paintings and carried it into the gallery.
He and Gerald shuffled back and forth between the storage room and the gallery, setting up the paintings for the art showing one by one.
Almost done Will thought as he grabbed one of the last paintings. As he lifted it up, he nearly dropped it as he staggered backwards in shock. Gerald caught him as he almost fell over. Before Will stood his mother's painting. A young angel dressed in black stared at him from beyond the canvas, eyes filled with sorrow and grief. Her white hair spiraled around her, the shadows reaching towards her innocent soul. There was a small plate screwed into the frame.
"Mina, The Forgotten Angel"
-Sophia Andrews
"You don't look so good, Will. I'll finish up here, so just go get some rest, clear your head." Gerald said, giving Will a pat on the back.
"Thanks." Will said, mind still racing uncontrollably, trying to piece together what he just saw.
How could mom have known about Mina? Maybe they met at some point or they knew each other before Mina jumped...
Will jumped on the train and hurried back to the abandoned apartment building. He grabbed his bag from behind the bushes and ran up to the thirteenth floor. He opened the door to see Mina sitting on the windowsill, a torn and wrinkled page from a notebook in her hand.
"Your poetry... it's helping me remember things..." she said, looking at him with tear filled eyes.
"Thats good." Will replied.
"I wish I had no memory at all! I'm miserable like this!" she moaned as she hopped down from the window.
"That horrible man, acting as though I never existed! All he ever did..." the rest of her words became a garbled mess as she buried her face in Will's shoulder.
"Sounds like someone I know." Will groaned.
Mina looked up at him, her sad eyes fixed on Will's. His mind suddenly jumped to the portrait he had seen, those same eyes that stared at him only moments before.
"I have to ask you something." Will began.
"Mmhm?" Mina replied, face once again buried in his shoulder.
"Did you ever meet someone named Sophia Andrews?" he asked.
"No, I don't think so... who is she?" Mina replied.
Will's body trembled as he held back waves of tears and sadness.
"She was my mom. She was a painter... and I just saw one of her paintings. It was of you."
"What? But how..." Mina began.
"None of this is making any sense dammit!" Will yelled in frustration, punching the wall.
Mina quickly scampered into the corner.
"Sorry, I just have so much running through my head. I need some time to think." He said, sitting down next to her.
"I'm going to visit her tomorrow. Maybe that will help clear my head." Will muttered as he curled up on the floor.
Mina curled up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.
Who are you Mina.... really... Will thought, drifting off to sleep.
He awoke the next morning to find Mina still curled up next to him, her eyes curiously watching him.
"Good morning." she chimed with a smile.
"Morning." Will groaned sleepily as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"I'm running out for a bit. I'll be back in an hour or so." Will said as he walked out the door.
"Okay, be safe." Mina called out to him.
He walked down the long staircase and made his way to the train station. Taking a seat toward the back of the car, Will took a nap as he waited for the train to reach its final destination. He awoke as the train screeched to a halt. Will stumbled outside, legs having gone numb, and walked to the cemetery at the edge of the city. He swam through the sea of headstones in search of his mother's grave.
I need answers, mom please help me! Will thought as he finally found his mother's final resting place. He knelt down in front of the grave, desperately trying to organize his thoughts. For the first time in his life, he read over the words he had been too afraid to for the past four years.
Here lies Sophia Anne Andrews
1965-2004
May the forgotten angel finally be remembered
The pieces finally started fitting into place, and in turn his mind started falling apart. He went into a depressed rage,blaming himself for not realizing sooner, and being so helpless, unable to do anything even after her death.
Will rushed to the train station and caught the express train back to the inner city. He ran to the apartment building and soared up the stairs to the thirteenth floor. Walking over to the window, he looked down on the city streets below.
"I've never been here for you... even in life you were always alone. I'm making sure that will never happen again." Will said.
"WAIT!" Mina screamed, but it was too late. Will had already fallen out of view.
She heard his voice one last time, a gentle breeze whispering in her ear.
I love you, mom.