Comments on essays - 20 Jan

Put title of text in inverted commas – don’t forget the first “The” in “The Catcher in the Rye”

Theme is not a technique. The writer uses techniques like word choice or characterisation. The writer doesn’t use a theme – they explore a theme. Remember a theme is an idea or an aspect of life. It exists outside of the text in our world – not just the world of the text.

The question asks you, implicitly, to identify a theme – you should do that, explicitly in the introduction.

Some folk had lots of references to “our” and “the writer” or “the poet”; some folk didn’t.

Use signposting words – the threads of your essay: “here”; “continues to”; “this”; “yet”; “however”; “again”. Remember that this is an essay – there should be a “golden thread” going through the whole essay – ie a central point that your essay is woven around.

Use the white space of the page – give the marker a break. It also shows that your essay is an essay (ie a series of linked points, rather than one big stream of consciousness). Beware of paragraphs that go on and on and on … you may be guilty of wandering – SEC helps to give you a sense of the structure of each paragraph

Remember SEC – in the C part (ie comment) stand back from the detail of the story/poem and refer to the significance of the detail in terms of your general point – the purpose of your essay. This is where you definitely should be referring to the poet or writer directly and their intentions – ie what are they trying to do. So, for example, if you are discussing the significance of the fight between Stradlater and Holden you might write something like this …

There are some key incidents in the text that move the story forward and help Salinger explore the theme of difficulties of growing up. For example, Holden and Stradlater’s fight is the incident which pushes Holden over the edge: he leaves Pencey after the fight. However, the fight has deeper significance. In some ways Holden doesn’t know why he is fighting – he is filled with hate for Stradlater at that moment. And yet, at times the two seem to have quite a close relationship. The fight and their relationship in general, is used by Salinger to highlight the contradictory emotions and forces that are often working in the growing person. The confusion, torment and occasional aggression of growing up is represented in Stradlater and Holden’s relationship and, in particular, their fight.

Example of a conclusion …

Duffy’s use of imagery is typical of her style – the idea of mirrors and looking back link in with the photograph in this poem. She explores the idea of regret very well so much so that it becomes a very engaging and moving poem. It is very personal to anyone who reads it because everyone has regrets and I certainly did relate to the feelings of the persona. The poem is not easily forgotten and would be a poem I could read again and still enjoy.

Example of an introduction …

“The Catcher in the Rye” by J D Salinger is a novel about the problems and issues of growing up and tells the story of a boy named Holden Caulfield who gets thrown out of school and goes on an eventful journey through New York. Salinger engages the reader in the story and theme of loneliness [experienced by many at this time in their life] by his use of characterisation and symbolism.

Example of another introduction and the first paragraph of the main part of the essay:

Murder is common – we can see evidence of it everyday. Carol Ann Duffy’s poem “Education for Leisure” uses cleverly adapted techniques to display a twisted state of mind. She includes a strong persona to develop the main character and in doing so she invokes realism and fear in the reader.

The poem begins with a character’s thoughts. “Today I am going to kill something.” It uses simple language to get across a view on how someone is thinking. Like a knife, the language is very sharp and to the point. Duffy uses this sharp language to develop the persona of a killer, with hidden rage about to unleash. With the opening sentence the character is seemingly waking up with the thoughts of taking life. “Anything” is the target.