Feedback on Close Reading
This is what you all had to eat before you sat the practice Close Reading assessment …
Can of Iron Bru and packet of pickled onion
· Glass of milk, orange, banana
· One piece of toast, banana lucozade, and bottle of water
· Cup of coffee, muesli, 2 bits of chewing gum, can of Iron Bru and 2 ½ cigarettes (smoked, not eaten)
· Half packet of skittles, half packet of Mexican Chilli crisps, half can of Iron Bru
· Toast, ham sandwich, Iron Bru, not chocolate
· Galaxy bar, Dairy Milk
· Bran Flakes, banana, toast
· 2 pieces of dry toast, glass of blackcurrant juice, cheese and onion crisps
· Mini Ritz Crackers, half can of coke, chewy vitamin C’s
· Grapes, Crème Egg,
· Crème Egg, can of coke
· English Muffins, cookies, Easter Egg, Crème Egg, milk, coke
· Bran Flakes with sultanas, coffee
There are lots of studies and scientific research that show that there is a very strong link between diet and concentration. The Close Reading assessment requires a very high level of concentration. Avoid fizzy drinks, sweets and chocolate before going into exam – eat something that will give you energy over a longer period of time and drink lots of water.
Anyway here's some feedback on your responses ....
Remember to use the marks for each question as a rough guide to how much you should write and how much evidence you need to produce from the text.
1 b – sentence structure question
This question is a bit nasty – they are only offering two marks but require two separate pieces of evidence and comment. They’d usually give you four for that.
Notice that paragraph is made up of two sentences which are very similar in structure. The similarity draws attention to the detail that is different: the change in people’s concerns.
Other features of sentence construction: series of contrasts: when/now … fat/thin – this emphasises change.
Also repetition of “rich .. poor .. right-thinking people” emphasises what s different: hunger then, obesity now.
Remember to come back to the point of the question: evidence – comment (and comment/analysis should relate to, in this case, change in people’s concerns)
Extract from one student’s response:
“… Secondly, the sentence structure mirrors the first sentence, however the words have changed, it becomes more noticeable as it follows the same pattern …”
3 a – even if an Understanding question says “according to lines 16-26”, you still need to put the information into your own words.
3 c – this is a question on imagery and it asks for two examples. Deal with them separately. Also link it back to question “.. the writer’s line of thought” …
Remember in an imagery question is all about comparison. What is being compared to what?
Look again at the notes on imagery in the Close Reading Journal.
Sample response ..
“Plague”
This image hints that the over abundance of food has created a contagious disease-like effect which is spreading uncontrollably and is effecting many people – obesity is spreading [which is the point that he is trying to make]
Q 4
You’re asked about language and how it is used to stress the seriousness of the health problem. Remember that a comma, list, semi-colon or hyphen on itself does not help to create a sense of seriousness. It’s how they are used in the context of the paragraph. For example, this won’t get you marks:
A list helps create a sense that this is a serious issue.
This is better:
A list of very serious threats to human health is used (“Aids, malaria …”) which, when put along side obesity (which causes more deaths) emphasises just how serious the issue is.
So, discuss the use of sentence structure in the context of the paragraph and the question being asked.
If you comment about tone, make sure you give an example of how it is created (eg. through collection of serious words/dark words “heart disease”; “kills”; “Aids”; “principal risk” … the result of all these words with connotations of ill health and anxiety creates a serious tone.)
Q 7 – If the question asks you to discuss “particular features of language” then you need to mention them directly and go on to give specific examples of their use – eg.
The writer uses sentence structure to show his strength of feeling. For example, the opening of the paragraph begins with the blunt comment “It might” – this bluntness demonstrates that the writer feels very strongly about the issue – he doesn’t want to mess around.
Q 8 a – look out for this type of analysis question you are asked to show how the word choice makes clear, not the writer’s, but the children’s attitude.
And revise how to do a word choice question – focus on one word and provide analysis for that word only. Don’t list lots of words – they will all have their own separate connotations.
Question 13 b – remember to have the two passages side-by-side.
Style – again this is about how it was put together rather than the issues or content itself.