The Kilt That Didn't Fit

On eighteenth June in Mull this year the weather was sublime

To family and friends it was a celebration time

We’d gathered from all round the globe for Caroline and Ed

To cheer and give our best support, and watch as they were wed

They pledged their love, they kissed a kiss, they promised to commit

And Jamie wore a kilt that didn’t fit

So beautiful, was Jamie’s mum, in slinky black new dress

As they drove up dad clutched his head, and he had to confess

His one good suit, which he’d looked out, he’d left it on the bed

Three pounds to Oxfam bought for him another one instead

Rebecca altered legs for length with trusty sewing kit

But Jamie had his kilt that didn’t fit

Old Tobermory church is grand, sat high upon the hill

With views across the bay that made the congregation thrill

A piper led procession brought the traffic to a halt

Our wedding celebration was proceeding without fault

To Western Isles Hotel: champagne and oysters and good wit

And Jamie in a kilt that didn’t fit

Grand dining, speeches, toasts and jokes, great fun and laughter loud

Dressed up in all their finery, a smart and happy crowd

Our memories will linger on, we won’t forget tonight

The lovely couple made us glad, but there was one more sight

As Jamie walked across the floor it slipped down bit by bit

Till Jamie lost his kilt that didn’t fit