Jamie in Alton

Wee Jamie’s Nonna lives in Alton town

With Granpaw who’s inclined to act the clown.

They called their grandson up one day,

Insisted that he come and stay,

“And bring your monkey friend when you come down.”

The ticket price for Jamie was quite steep

But Jamie monkey’s, as a pet, was cheap.

They caught the train from Waterloo,

And when it missed a stop or two,

They realised the driver was asleep.

The driver slumbered though they knocked and knocked.

No access to his cab, the door was locked.

So Jamie pushed the window wide

And Jamie monkey climbed outside.

The train careered round bends and wildly rocked.

Then Jamie monkey scrambled up on top,

And through the driver’s window he did drop.

He quickly searched and found the brakes,

and pulled and pulled for all their sakes,

Until the train screeched madly to a stop.

It had been scary going fast round bends,

But quick reaction swiftly brought amends.

The passengers all cheered and waved,

Two hundred lives the pair had saved,

The Alton Herald photographed the friends

Next morning Nonna woke and had a hunch

That Granpaw would say “Titzie’s for our lunch.

His coffee’s best around these parts,

And have you seen his lovely tarts?”

They dined then strolled to Chawton in a bunch.

They took the Jamies to Jane Austen’s house.

They say it’s where she pencilled “To a Mouse.”

Or was it “Pride and Prejudice?”

Whatever, it ends with a kiss,

Romantic readers think it’s fabulous.

Old Chawton House was next, out and inside,

And Nonna was our chum’s surprise tour guide.

She told them all its history,

Of missing treasure mystery,

And even where a ghost was sometimes spied.

The Jamies were then free to run around,

But they were asked to make not too much sound.

So silently they crept upstairs

And on their necks they felt the hairs

Stand up: but there was nothing to be found.

That this old place was haunted there’s no doubt,

But still they played their games and ran about.

“You can’t scare me.” was Jamie’s boast.

Then they turned round, there was the ghost!

They both were frightened but they didn’t shout.

“Two Jamies, here at last, the help I need.

I’m Jamie, I was murdered, now I’m deid.

I’m not allowed to rest in peace,

You are the key to my release.

The Treasure of the Jamies must be freed.”

“Three hundred years ago I did my thing,

A Jacobite for James, the rightful king.

I carried treasure for the cause,

But I was stabbed against all laws,

The murderer ran off with just one ring.”

“The treasure had been buried in the ground,

Somewhere that it was never to be found,

Except by one who’s Jamie named,

And ever after will be famed.

I’ve waited all these years till you came round.”

Then Jamie ghost gave both the friends a clue,

But still they weren’t sure what they should do.

They went outside, both found a spade,

And drawn towards a sheltered glade,

They started digging, boy and monkey too.

They dug between an elm and old oak tree,

And soon unearthed a massive chest and key,

Revealing silver coins and gold,

Released from their protective fold.

And Jamie ghost said “Well done, I’m now free.”

The local folk museum got the hoard,

And Jamie boy and monkey a reward.

Well done again, we’re very proud,

Your praises will last long and loud,

As off above their heads a white dove soared.