The Four Jamies

As animals and children one by one

Were wakened by the rising of the sun,

A car cruised up the motorway,

To Scotland and a holiday,

A boy and monkey looking to have fun.

The boy and monkey, Jamie both were named,

Saw lochs and mountains through the windows framed,

Until they got to – can’t you guess?

You’re right of course, good old Bo’ness.

Environment and people justly famed.

This holiday was living on a farm.

They first explored what might be in the barn.

They met a boy with highland cow,

He called “I’ll be with you right now,

Don’t touch the tools and you won’t come to harm.”

The farm boy said “I’m Jamie, how d’you do?

Surprisingly, the cow’s called Jamie too.”

Wee Jamie said “You’d never tell,

But Jamie’s both our names as well.”

Four Jamies, not just one or even two.

They spent the next few hours in play and talk.

They drew some pictures on the wall with chalk.

Wee Jamie looked a little vexed,

“Can we do something different next?”

Big Jamie said “Let’s all go for a walk.”

So Jamie boy and Jamie monkey too,

The other Jamie boy and Jamie coo

Left Bo’ness climbing o’er the hill,

Around the loch and on until

Four Jamies were on Lithgae High Street noo.

Linlithgow is an old historic town.

To see the sights folk come from miles around.

A palace, loch and church are here,

But mostly they come for the beer,

Four Marys is the place where they’ll be found.

Four Marys with four Jamies stood outside,

And on the door a sign for Alton Pride.

They laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed,

The other people thought them daft,

Infectious laughter soon spread nationwide.

When suddenly the fire alarm went off,

Smoke billowed out and made them start to cough,

And then they heard a frightened cry,

“Please help me, I’m about to die!

The door is stuck, the handle has come off.”

So Jamie cow called “Stand back everyone!”

He kicked the lock and soon the job was done.

The barmaid stumbled out the door

And dropped exhausted on the floor,

“My friend’s in there.” The rescue’s just begun.

The Jamies, showing very little fear,

Ran in and found the girl with flames quite near.

The boys both carried her outside,

They’d saved her life, she’d nearly died,

And Jamie monkey quenched the fire with beer.

So all four Jamies were applauded now,

Two boys, a monkey and a highland cow.

They’d rescued girls and saved a pub,

Life members of the hero’s club,

Adventures on a holiday and how.