Fall 2015 in The Feminist Psychologist
Negotiating Maternity Leave
by Lauren Mizock, PhD
Chair, Motherhood Committee, Division 35
Women face significant barriers to negotiating maternity leave. This problem was highlighted when Nazareth College recently rescinded a candidate’s offer after she tried to negotiate one semester of paid maternity leave, among other requests (Konnikova, 2014). While she knew the administrators would not comply with many of the arguably “lofty” items on her wish list, she simply thought there was no harm in asking.
When it comes to negotiation, women don’t ask much of the time. According to one study, 7% of women negotiated initial job offers, while 57% of men did (Babcock & Laschever, 2003). Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg made a call for women to assert themselves more in the workplace in her bestselling book, Lean In (2013). However, we may be tentative for reasons other than passivity or internalized sexism. We may be sensing real penalties of negotiating, including when we negotiate maternity leave.
Hannah Riley Bowles (2014) conducted a number of studies on gender differences in negotiation. Bowles identified a social cost of negotiation for women who face backlashes in attitude and treatment in the workplace when they attempt to self-advocate. Interestingly, Bowles found women were viewed positively when advocating for others, but not for themselves.
Bowles found that women are even penalized for business negotiations by other women. People are less likely to want to work with women who negotiate, reflecting an attitudinal penalty for asserting your needs. Gender stereotypes effects were worsened by ambiguous policies. If you work for an organization with unclear maternity leave policies, you may be particularly at risk of incurring negative attitudes from your negotiations.
With the Family Leave Medical Act (FMLA), companies with more than 50 workers in a 75-mile radius of work location are entitled to grant the primary caretaker of an infant to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Paid leave is another matter altogether. According to the Families and Work Institute’s 2012 National Study of Employers, 58% of mothers and 14% of fathers received some replacement pay in the U.S. (Matos & Galinsky, 2012). Only 9% companies have a fully paid maternity leave benefit. In fact, the U.S. is the only industrialized nation that doesn’t offer paid maternity benefits, and one of three countries in the world without them (Gallo, 2012).
In previous editions of this column, Jill Kuhn (2006a, 2006b) cited findings that women lose $1.2 million to wage inequity, encountering a “baby gap” in career advancement in addition to the proverbial glass ceiling. She added that while pregnancy discrimination lawsuits are on the rise, women fear being blacklisted in future jobs when they fight back discriminatory bosses.
It is essential to acknowledge the systemic nature of maternity leave problems. Hook (2012) noted tendencies for these discussions to place the responsibility on women to manage impossible scenarios posed by the systems within which we work, including Sandberg’s slogan, “lean in.” For example, we are told that as women we just need to strategize more effectively, access the right resources, or try harder to overcome the problems of our systems with regards to maternity leave. We are told to manage our schedules better, choose supportive spouses, time our children “correctly,” work from home, and stage our careers to peak later in life. Hook added that this discourse not only overlooks gender barriers faced by women, but also the class barriers among women with limited financial resources to help their families get by during maternity leave and thereafter. Hook reminded us that, “blaming the oppressed group for their mistreatment is a common tactic designed to maintain the status quo.”
Case Examples
I collected a number of case examples that bring to life the challenges of negotiating maternity leave. Several faculty members I spoke to were offered 10 days of paid maternity leave by their university, and 12 weeks of unpaid leave per FMLA. They weren’t allowed to access the sick bank for maternity purposes but were offered paid sick days, though this felt inappropriate since childbirth is not an illness. They were told to put some of their classes online, although they were still expected to teach their full course load following their 10 days off. Neither was offered an alternative assignment that other faculty in the university had received previously, and one was intentionally blocked by her department in learning about this option.
One of these women pointed out that if she had any complications of childbirth, the 10 days truly would not have cut it. Negative departmental gender dynamics made her fearful of contesting what she was offered. In the end, she felt she couldn’t take more than 10 days since she earned the primary income in her family. Both women acknowledged considerable guilt towards their colleagues and students around taking more time away from their work. They also feared covert repercussions on their evaluations for tenure if they advocated for more.
A third faculty member was at a woman’s university, which ironically had no paid maternity leave policy. She used FMLA for 12 unpaid weeks, and would have to use sick leave to receive payment. As a new faculty member, she did not have much in savings. With the costs of a new baby, she couldn’t afford the pay cut. She asked a member of HR to extend sick leave pay and described the following exchange:
“’You see dear,’ she said smugly, ‘women wanted equal rights, so now we must be treated exactly like men. So, pregnancy is treated just like any other illness.’ Given her complete disinterest in my statement that pregnancy is not, in fact, an illness, I neglected to point out that treating us exactly like men does not make us equal. If anything, treating women just like men means that our unique needs are not being addressed, it makes us distinctly unequal” (personal communication, August 10, 2015).
Ultimately, she was able to manage an additional 4 weeks of sick leave by accessing the sick leave pool at her university to allow for 10 weeks. As seen in the previous example, this option is far from ideal and not always available.
Finally, I spoke with a male faculty member who had been in an administrative position and also faced challenges with his leave. His supervisor attempted to renegotiate the paternity leave he was entitled to in his institution. He and his partner were planning to piece together their leaves in order to increase bonding with the newborn and avoid alternative daycare. His supervisor attempted to take away parts of his leave to fit what she felt was best for the office. All the while, he was preparing for the arrival of his adopted child from another country, making for a considerably stressful time. Luckily, an HR representative asserted the law to support his case, and he was able to take his planned leave. He noticed that following his experience, the maternity leave of a female colleague was not contested by their supervisor who was also her friend. He wondered if he had encountered negative gender effects as a man. His story demonstrates that there are also barriers to negotiating paternity leaves. Traditional parental leave policies assume the child requires care only from the mother, has a female primary caretaker, is produced biologically, and comes from a heterosexual, two-parent family.
The Negotiation Process
The barriers to adequate maternity leave require major systemic changes. Until then, women are left to be savvy cultural navigators of the system and strategize their maternity leave negotiations. There is hope in negotiating, as a number of women have been successful in advocating for more reasonable maternity leaves. In fact, we can learn from the literature on gender stereotype effects to plan our negotiations.
Based on her research on gender and negotiation, Bowles (2014) recommended making your requests sound persuasive by using a team-oriented framework. Bowles suggested a relational account, giving nod to Sandberg’s “think personally, act communally” motto of negotiation. This approach involves framing the negotiation in terms of the benefit your requests might have on your work, relationship, or otherwise. You can express care about your work relationships in planning for your leave, and frame your requests as legitimate and needed. You can be prepared to anticipate and address your supervisor’s concerns and communicate a collaborative intention in developing your plan (Riley, 2015). It can also help to identify what you hope to accomplish before you leave, and make specific plans to check in on your progress on those tasks.
Of course you will want to make yourself aware of the policy within your organization, as well as state and national laws like the FMLA. Consider if the standard leave will be enough and talk to colleagues who have been on leave recently about what their problems were and how they solved them (Gallo, 2012). Organizations often revise policies and update them when they aren’t working for their workers, so it can be worthwhile to express your needs.
You will likely want to give your supervisor the heads up before hearing it through the grapevine (Riley, 2015). If your supervisor is unlikely to be favorable to your negotiation, talk with HR. However, keep in mind that HR rarely deviates from official policy. Gallo (2012) recommended that you research similar companies and the leaves they provide. List the potential options that could work for you in taking your leave and rank them in order to have for your negotiation discussion. Then discuss with your supervisor the leave you want to take. Request the longest time you can receive since it’s easier to return early than extend your leave.
While it does feel inappropriate and even offensive, you may need to consider utilizing sick leave to extend your maternity leave. You might also consider drawing from your vacation time, personal days, or borrowing paid leave against future time off (Riley, 2015). Another good idea might be to adjust your tax withholding to reflect extra deduction before baby born as a way to help with the financial burden of unpaid leave and/or child-related expenses.
Conclusion
Our institutions require significant change to uniformly establish adequate parental leaves that are paid and have clear guidelines. Clarity in policy is key; researchers have found that the more transparent the policy, the less likely that negative gender effects will occur (Konnikova, 2014). We also need more affordable childcare, leaders who advocate for women and family, and schedules in schools and workplaces that support a vibrant family life (Hook, 2012).
Moreover, this discussion needs to involve the rights of graduate students. In a previous edition of this column, I’ve described the challenges parents have faced in graduate training in psychology (Mizock, 2014). I detailed reports of trainees who have lacked support and been sanctioned for their parental leaves on predoctoral internship and in postdoctoral training.
Clearly, policy change is needed to better meet the needs of parents in psychology. Unfortunately, the dual pressures of domestic and occupational labor may make it difficult for new parents to become involved in policy change. The multiple demands placed on women at work and home can further block their abilities to take action against the system. Until change has occurred, we can continue to share strategies and support one another in navigating these impossible scenarios in the U.S. workforce. As chair of the Motherhood Committee of Division 35 and member of a family leave working group at APA, we are working to advocate for protection of parental leave. Check out the Motherhood Committee website for more information and resources to support mothers in psychology.
Motherhood Committee of Division 35 Resource Page:
http://www.apadivisions.org/division-35/leadership/committees/motherhood.aspx
Tips for Negotiating Parental Leave
1) Research the policy within your organization
2) Research state and national laws pertaining to your leave like the FMLA
3) Research similar companies and leaves they provide
4) Consider if the standard leave will be enough for you
5) List the potential options that could work for you in taking your leave and rank them in order for your negotiation discussion
6) Be sure to give your supervisor the heads up before hearing it through the grapevine
7) Talk to trusted colleagues who have been on leave recently about what their problems were and how they solved them
8) If your supervisor is unlikely to be favorable to your negotiation, talk with HR
9) Otherwise, discuss with your supervisor the leave you want to take
10) Communicate a collaborative intention in developing your plan
11) Request the longest time you can receive since it’s easier to return early than extend your leave
12) Present the negotiation in terms of the benefit your requests might have on your work
13) Express care about your work relationships
14) Frame your negotiation as legitimate and needed
15) Identify what you hope to accomplish before you leave
16) Make specific plans to check in on your progress on those tasks
17) Anticipate and address your supervisor’s concerns
18) Consider utilizing sick leave to extend your maternity leave
19) Consider drawing from vacation time, personal days, or borrowing paid leave against future time off
20) Adjust your tax withholding to reflect extra deduction before baby born as a way to help with the financial burden of unpaid leave and/or child-related expenses
21) Seek out your mentors, family members, and others sources of support
References
Babcock, L., & Laschever, S. (2003). Women don’t ask. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
Bowles, H. R. (2014). Why women don’t negotiate their job offers. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from
https://hbr.org/2014/06/why-women-dont-negotiate-their-job-offers/
Gallo, A.. (2012). How to negotiate your parental leave. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from
https://hbr.org/2012/10/how-to-negotiate-your-parental-leave.html
Hook (2012). Having it all is possible for everyone. Counselling Resource: Psychology, Therapy, and Mental Health Resources. Retrieved from:
http://counsellingresource.com/features/2012/07/23/having-it-all/
Konnikova, M.. (2014). Lean out: The dangers for women who negotiate. New Yorker. Retrieved from
https://hbr.org/2012/10/how-to-negotiate-your-parental-leave.html
Kuhn, J. (2006). Mother discrimination in psychology (Part 1 of 2). The Feminist Psychologist, Winter, 17-18.
Kuhn, J. (2006). Mother discrimination in psychology (Part 2 of 2). The Feminist Psychologist, Spring, 17, 28.
Matos, K., & Galinsky, E. (2012). 2012 National Study of Employers. Families and Work Institute.
http://familiesandwork.org/site/research/reports/NSE_2012.pdf
Mizock, L. (2014). Supporting mothers in training and early career. The Feminist Psychologist, 41(2), 7, 17.
Riley, L. (2015). Planning and negotiating maternity leave. Parents Magazine. Retrieved from:
http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/week-by-week/14/planning-and-negotiating-maternity-leave/
Sandberg, S. (2013). Lean in. New York, NY: Knopf.