Meditation
There are many different types of meditation used for many different
purposes. One common type of meditation is to sit quietly and
concentrate on one thing such as a pleasant feeling of relaxation,
or on various sensations in your body, or
by repeating a mantra possibly in rhythm with your breath. You focus your
attention in one of these ways, and when you notice your mind wandering,
you bring it back to the focus of attention.
If you notice an unpleasant thought or emotion during meditation, it
is important not to push it away, otherwise you may develop the habit of
repressing thoughts and feelings by your practice of meditation.
Instead of pushing away unpleasant thoughts and emotions, relax, open
yourself to them, observe them, and notice the feelings in your body
associated with them. Then after observing them clearly in a relaxed
way for a few seconds, until they lose some of their force, go back to the focus of the
meditation. If you experience very strong unpleasant emotions you can
go back to concentrating until you feel relaxed again. Each person
must find their own correct balance between
observing emotions and concentrating. There is more on this subject
in the section on Releasing Unpleasant Thoughts and Emotions.
(It is not unusual for strong emotions to arise
during meditation. Some people may not want to deal with them and might
prefer to practice
relaxation exercises
instead of meditation.)
Serenity (Samatha) Meditation
Spiritual Meditation
Research shows that deep breathing can produce a relaxation response in
the mind and body. If you take a deep breath and exhale you can experience this as a
feeling of relaxation. It is possible to produce this relaxed feeling
without very deep breathing but through a more normal depth and rate of
breathing. When you learn breathe this way and use it in the meditation
technique described here, you can become very peaceful and relaxed. This
state is so pleasant it might make you want to smile. When that happens,
focusing your attention on the pleasant feelings can set up a feedback loop
in the brain where the pleasant
feelings feel nice and that produces a pleasure resonse which feels nice
which produces a pleasure response etc. When you first learn to do this,
you might experiment with very intense states of spiritual feelings including
compassion, love and joy, but as you become
familiar with it, you may prefer to turn down the intensity of these
feelings and settle into a benevolent, peaceful, and contented state.
Here are links to the sections below that explain the meditation technique. You
can skip right to the simplified instructions and get started but you
should also read the introduction and warning.
Introduction: A Variation on Observing The Breath
This form of serenity meditation is derived from a very easy and popular
meditation technique that involves repeating a mantra while observing the
breath. A small modification,
observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation while
breathing in a relaxed way,
makes it more effective at producing a relaxed state
of mind and positive feelings of happiness and well-being.
This meditation should also make you smile which causes the brain to release
dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, molecules that will elevate your mood.
Smiling also reduces levels of the anxiety causing stress hormone cortisol.
The beginner should
notice feeling more relaxed and calmer after meditating. After
practicing for a while, the meditator should notice increased feelings of
happiness and a reduction in worrying. With more practice, the feelings experienced may include
unconditional love, a connectedness to all things, and those who are
religious may feel a closer connection to God. With continued practice,
the meditator may experience a feeling of deeply peaceful serenity.
This meditation can also be done in daily life and it is truly life enhancing
to be able to experience life through the emotions of happiness, connectedness,
and love.
It is suggested that the beginner meditate twenty to thirty minutes
once or twice
a day to
develop facility with the technique and develop the habit of daily
meditation. This amount of time is suggested to produce results
that will encourage the beginner to continue the practice,
but any amount of time
is better than none. You may also practice for a longer time and more than
twice a day if you like, and you can use the technique in daily life (see
below). You will get better results faster if you
meditate more. Once you experience the pleasant enjoyable effects of
this meditation, you may naturally want to practice more.
While you are meditating, sometimes you will become distracted by stray
thoughts. Don't worry about this, it is to be expected. Just go back
to meditating. If unpleasant thoughts or emotions arise during
meditation you shouldn't push them away. The section on
Releasing Unpleasant Thoughts and Emotions explains
how to deal with unpleasant thoughts and emotions that arise during meditation.
This type of meditation does not require the super-intense 100%
concentration which is the goal of some other types of meditation.
However, you do need a moderate level of mental focus.
Some people may try this meditation technique because they have a
mood disorder such as depression or anxiety. If such a condition is
caused by psychological factors, meditation could be more helpful than
if the condition is caused by biochemical factors. If you have a
condition such as depression or anxiety and find this meditation does
not help you relax, feel calm, and produce feelings of happiness and
other positive emotions, you may find that if you can address any
underlying biochemical issues, the meditation will then begin to work.
(The subject of how biochemistry influences moods is complex and beyond
the scope of this article. If you want to know more about this subject,
search the internet for information on how
diet can affect serotonin and cortisol levels.)
WARNING: This type of meditation can produce very pleasant psychological
states. This might tempt you to do this meditation for long periods of
time or use the technique extensively in daily life. If this happens,
please see the section
The Dangers of Meditation so that
you can make an informed decision about how much of this meditation to do.
It is possible that for some people this form of meditation could be
addicting.
You should stop using the technique and allow yourself to come out of
these states periodically to
ensure that you will always be able to do so if you choose.
If something doesn't work for you exactly as described in
the instructions below, don't worry about it, just try to follow the
instruction as closely as you can.
Don't "try too hard", and try not to have expectations about what
will happen during your meditation session. If you try too hard or you
try to produce a certain type of experience it, will create stress and
that will defeat the purpose of the meditation and the meditation will
not work as well. Just try to be relaxed and don't worry about what
else might or might not happen.
Back to Serenity Meditation
To do this form of
meditation:
Simplified Instructions
Sit comfortably in whatever way you prefer, in a chair or on the floor.
No special meditation posture is needed. Close your eyes. Notice how
you feel throughout your body. Do you feel anxious or tense? Try to
relax your whole body. Take a deep breath and relax your whole body as
you exhale. Notice the pleasant feeling of relaxation? Now breathe
normally and relax your whole body as you exhale. Notice the same
feeling of relaxation. Relax your whole body as you inhale and notice a
similar feeling of relaxation. It might help you to relax if you slow
down your breathing somewhat. Continue to relax your whole body as you
inhale and exhale and notice the pleasant feelings of relaxation. Your
whole body may begin feel heavy as you become more and more relaxed.
While you meditate this way, also say to yourself, (inwardly not aloud)
"in" as you inhale, and "out" as you exhale. Notice the absence of
mental chatter as you focus your attention on the words "in" an "out".
Meditate this way with the understanding that you are trying to have a
pleasant, relaxing, calming meditation session. Cultivate
a state of relaxed alertness, relaxed awareness, not relaxed sleepiness.
After a while,
observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you inhale and exhale
might make you want to smile.
If you feel like it, go ahead and smile, even if it's just a little bit, and notice the
pleasant emotions that accompany smiling as you continue to meditate.
Sometimes noticing any sensations or tingling you might feel in the lips as you
meditate can help
bring on a smile.
If your mind wanders don't worry about it, it's normal. If you like,
you can take a few
seconds to notice what thoughts or emotions distracted you, and any
sensations they produced in your body. Then return to meditating, relax
your whole body as you inhale and exhale, notice the pleasant feelings of
relaxation and peace, and smile if you feel like it.
That's it. You should do this as a form of sitting meditation but you
can also do it during daily activities.
When you start a session, it can be helpful if you remind yourself how the
technique works by thinking:
Relax as you inhale, relax as you exhale, notice the pleasant feeling of
relaxation, and smile if you feel like it.
After practicing this type of meditation for some time, you might find
that you can maintain a relaxed and happy state at times when you are
not sitting in meditation. This can produce a very stable equanimity.
I described this meditation technique on an internet discussion form in
approximately this way:
I meditate by counting the breath, trying to notice a pleasant feeling
of relaxation as I inhale and exhale and I notice the pleasant feelings
released when I let myself half-smile.
It may start out as a very faint feeling barely noticeable,
but it increases gradually during the meditation session so I take a
patient attitude and trust the technique. Worrying "am I happy now?"
just creates stress which is counterproductive.
...
I would describe the practice as cultivating a state of relaxed happiness
by various means in order to develop equanimity.
I draw on
relaxation techniques from different sources - anything that can
activate the
parasympathetic nervous system: counting the breath
meditation, yoga poses, quigong (8 Brocades or Ba Duan Jin or
Baduanjin), tai-chi, progressive muscular relaxation, hypnotic
induction. I cultivate happiness through a technique I learned from
reading Thich Nhat Hanh who wrote, "... practice breathing with a
half-smile. You will feel great joy.". But too much great joy can
become tedious (believe it or not) so I try to cultivate just a pleasant
positive slightly happy feeling. Also, to cultivate happiness, I try to
use information on how to increase
serotonin levels in the brain that I
might read about here and there.
Some advocates of insight meditation, who don't meditate this way,
might misunderstand this meditation technique, believing it is
a form of escapism, not realizing how the practice
has
cumulative effects
that carry over to daily life.
It is not a static practice but something that helps you to
develop more and more equanimity over time.
I tried to explain it in the same discussion forum approximately like this:
You can't separate insight from concentration. You
need some minimum concentration to do insight, and every wandering of
the mind during concentration produces an iota of insight which adds up
over time.
You can't "rest in a pleasant state" unless you have reached perfection.
There is always something that disturbs your peace but since you prefer
a pleasant state, you see what is disturbing your peace and you figure
out how to let go of it (get back to a peaceful state) during the
meditation session and during daily life.
Because the technique provides a solution to a the problem of unpleasant
emotional states, it does not require will power any more than taking an aspirin for a headache takes will power. When you are in an unpleasant emotional state, you know what to do. And over time the "aspirin" gets stronger, your
equanimity becomes more and more stable.
It is also important to understand this type of meditation might or might
not help
with anxiety or depression - depending on the cause. If the cause is cognitive
it might help. If the cause is organic it might not help. But
there can be interactions between the organic and the cognitive so
... the subject is complicated.
On the same forum I wrote:
No one should think I am implying this a treatment for anxiety or
depression. Those issues are outside the scope of my expertise. The
technique might not even work in situations where brain chemistry or the
nervous system cannot support the effects.
On a different internet forum I wrote:
My own feeling is that people will get more out of a spiritual practice
if they get their brain chemistry right through other means, for
example through diet and exercise, otherwise they might not get the
effect they seek from the spiritual practice.
I don't see spiritual practices as a mental health treatment, I see them
as a means to spiritual development and growth. So I have the opposite
view from a lot of psychologists and doctors who are also in the
spiritual arena. I think it is a bad match when people go to a
spiritual school looking for solutions to their psychological problems.
The spiritual quest is fraught with dangers
and people in a fragile condition are at heightened risk.
You might recognize this
meditation is similar to other forms of breath meditation. What is
unique about this form is focusing your attention on the pleasant
feeling of relaxation as you breathe. The pleasant feeling of
relaxation will probably make you feel like smiling. Smiling causes the
brain to release dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, which are
molecules that will elevate your mood. Smiling also reduces levels of
the anxiety causing stress hormone cortisol. These chemical changes
will produce a pleasant effect and may make you want to smile even more.
This can result in a feedback loop that produces intense feelings of
feelings of happiness, loving kindness, and connectedness.
Please read the detailed instructions below which include many
details that will help you to get good results from this type of
meditation:
Back to Serenity Meditation
Detailed Instructions
If the instructions below seem too complicated to master all at once,
you can start meditating with the simplified instructions and
you can work through the detailed instructions
at your own pace
to refine your understanding
of the technique.
Anytime you feel confused or uncertain about what to do, refer back
to the simplified instructions.
- Wear clothing that is not tight around the waist, abdomen, or chest
and does not restrict your breathing. If your shirt is tucked in, be
sure it is not restricting the movement of your body as you breathe.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Sit comfortably. You can sit in a chair.
You don't have to sit on the floor in a formal meditation posture
or on the edge of your chair without back support
to do this type of meditation.
Too many people injure
their spine and or knees trying to meditate in unaccustomed postures.
A chair is fine.
In fact, this type of meditation involves relaxation and it works much better
if you sit the way you normally do in a chair.
Try placing your hands on top of your thighs near the hip joint with with your palms facing upward.
This should help produce a relaxed open friendly feeling.
If this feels comfortable, keep your hands in that position while you meditate,
otherwise place them in whatever way you prefer.
Be aware that sitting in a slumped posture can compress the internal
organs and inhibit the movements in the torso needed to breathe.
If your head is bent forward, it can constrict the airway.
If you sit with your knees straight so your feet are extended out in front
of you, it could curve the spine, stretching the abdomen and making it
harder to breathe from the diaphragm.
If you
feel that your breathing is restricted and you are sitting in a slumped
posture or sitting with your head bent forward or sitting with your feet extended out
in front of you, try sitting straighter with your knees bent so your feet are flat on the
floor and see if that helps.
Also, try to keep your body relaxed. Keeping
a relaxed and pleasant expression on your face while you meditate will ensure that if you feel like smiling, there will be
no resistance to doing so.
After you develop experience meditating, when you are in a very relaxed state while meditating, you might notice
that movement or fidgeting will bring you out that that deep state of relaxation. When
that happens, you might notice that movement becomes undesirable and that should help
you remain still. This can be helpful to your meditation practice but it is important to
be sitting in a posture that will not result in any type of knee or spine injury.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Observe the breath. Sit with your eyes closed and
breathe
in a relaxed way.
Some people like to breathe
from the diaphragm
when they meditate
with each breath flowing smoothly into the next, but what is important is that
breathing be relaxing.
There is no specific rate of breathing that you should follow, but
rapid breathing, panting, or very forceful breathing should be avoided.
At times it may help you to relax if you breathe more slowly and deeply
but other times you may find it most relaxing to breathe more naturally
with shallower breaths.
After meditating for a time if you feel breathing is uncomfortable,
there are several things
you can try to remedy the problem.
- If you are sitting slumped in a
chair, it can compress the chest making breathing harder. If the head is bent forward it
can constrict the airway. In either case, try sitting straighter.
- If you are
sitting with your knees straight and your feet extended out in front of
you, that can extend the abdomen making breathing harder, try sitting with your knees bent so your feet are flat on the
floor.
- If you are observing the breath by noticing the sensations and
movements of the chest or abdomen, try observing the sensations as the
breath flows in and out through the nose instead. Sometimes focusing
your attention on the chest or abdomen makes it hard to breathe
naturally and shifting your attention to the nose can alleviate the
problem.
- Sometimes mild nasal congestion can make breathing more laborious.
If you find it easier to breath with your mouth open, try
breathing that way.
- Try to allow your diaphragm to completely
relax
at the end of
each exhalation.
This will ensure that the air is fully expelled and the breath
is completed. It should help the next breath start more naturally and
help ensure you are not breathing too rapidly.
- Exhale slowly so that your exhalations are about twice as long as your inhalations.
-
If you feel like you need more air or you can't catch your breath, that can sometimes be a
symptom of hyperventilation.
To alleviate symptoms of hyperventilation
the web site
Medicine Plus
recommends exhaling slowly through pursed lips. You can try meditating breathing that way
for a few minutes to see if it helps, but it is better to find a way to breathe comfortably
rather than become dependent on this method of breathing for an entire meditation session.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Counting breaths.
Continue breathing this way and count your breaths up to ten. Say the
numbers inwardly (not aloud) in rhythm with your breathing. You can
count inhalations, or exhalations, or both inhalations and exhalation.
If you count only exhalations, you can say "and" as you inhale, or if
you count only inhalations, you can say "and" as you exhale. After
reaching ten, start over counting from one. Continue counting your
breaths like this throughout the meditation session.
The purpose of counting the breath is to help keep the mind from wandering,
but
at the same time
you should maintain awareness of the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you inhale and exhale (see #5 below).
Both
concentration on counting and awareness of the pleasant feeling of relaxation
are needed.
One or the other alone will not produce the desired effect.
Your state of mind should be one of calm relaxed awake alert observation, not
trying to solve a problem (analyzing), not a wandering mind
(daydreaming), not oblivion (sleeping), not forceful intense
concentration (repressing), but just calm relaxed aware observing. Try exhaling and
noticing what you feel as you exhale. If you do that once as an
experiment, you will probably not get distracted, you will just notice what
happens with a relaxed state of mind. That is the state of mind
you should try to maintain while meditating. You can help
remind yourself of this, if you like, by saying to yourself inwardly (not aloud), "just
observing" while you observe the breath instead of counting breaths.
If you find it difficult to concentrate:
- Take some time to notice the absence of mental chatter as you focus your attention on saying the numbers. Notice how peaceful that is and how pleasant that peacefulness is.
- Count both inhalations and exhalation. For example, count "one" as you inhale, "two" as you exhale, "three" as you inhale and so forth. When you get to ten start again at "one".
- As you count the breath, try exhaling by relaxing your diaphragm and chest all at once like you are sighing. This can be very helpful in quieting the mind but there are a couple of
points to be aware of if you try this:
- It can cause hyperventilation. Pausing the breath for a brief time between
exhalations and or inhalations to slow down the rate of breathing can help prevent hyperventilation.
- Too much concentration can suppress thoughts and emotions. One sign
of this is irritability after meditating. This can be prevented by
opening up the flow of thoughts and emotions by breathing normally for
the last few minutes of the meditation session.
The attitude you have during meditation will influence the attitude you
have when you are done with the session. If you meditate with a stern
and rigid attitude that you will concentrate perfectly and not allow any
stray thoughts to enter your mind, then after the session you will
continue to have a stern, rigid attitude and you will experience
intolerance and irritability. Try to maintain a relaxed, pleasant,
light attitude while you are meditating so you will have a relaxed and
pleasant attitude when the session ends.
Counting is an aid to help you maintain concentration. If you prefer, you can also try counting up to four instead of ten, or instead of counting, say inwardly "in" and "out" as you inhale and exhale.
If you are religious and have an interest in centering prayer as a means of coming closer to God, you can use a sacred word to help maintain concentration. The link is to contemplativeoutreach.org which is a Christian organization however, most major religions that have mystical schools teach a form of prayer that is similar. If you are not Christian, you can use the same instructions but choose a sacred word that is appropriate to your beliefs.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation.
As you continue counting the breath, notice how you feel throughout your
whole body. Are you relaxed and at ease? Try to relax your whole body and
notice the pleasant feeling of relaxation. Relax your whole body as you
exhale and notice how that feels. Relax your whole body as you inhale
and notice how that feels. Continue relaxing as you inhale and exhale
and observe how it feels as you count the breath. Your whole body may
begin to feel heavy as you become more and more relaxed. If you need to
slow down your rate of breathing to clearly observe the feeling of
relaxation while inhaling and exhaling, that is okay.
If you don't notice a feeling of relaxation,
try taking a slow deep breath and letting
it out all at once like a sigh. You might notice a feeling of relaxation
that pervades your whole body when
you do that. That is what you are looking for
during the meditation.
It is easiest
to notice it while exhaling but you should be able to notice
it while inhaling too.
Doing exercises described in my blog post
Turning Off Stress
can help you develop an understanding through experience of how to be very relaxed while fully awake which can be helpful in learning to meditate.
If you feel tension in your body that is hard to relax, you can try
moving each part of your body two or three times
to help relax.
If you are experiencing any type of unpleasant emotion, try to accept its
presence in a relaxed, friendly, pleasant way. You don't want your
dislike of the emotion to add to the unpleasant feelings.
If observing the feeling of relaxation
ever makes you feel uncomfortable, instead of focusing your attention on
it,
just try to maintain a relaxed but awake and alert mental state while you
focus on
counting the breath.
While you meditate, try to notice if you feel your consciousness is located in some
particular place. For many people this would be in the head behind the
eyes. You also might be aware of a feeling of self-awareness that comes
from knowing you are concentrating on counting the breath and being aware
that your mind is not wandering.
As you meditate try to be aware of such a feeling of
consciousness or awareness. Notice that it feels safe and secure and
familiar and pleasant. Doing that helps to focus your awareness so that
you have a pleasant relaxing sense of being instead of letting your consciousness
dissipate into disconnected thoughts or fade into sleepy nothingness.
You may find it helpful to use
relaxation exercises
to relax before, during, or after each meditation session.
For example, you might relax each part of the body with
self-hypnotic induction,
then
visualize each color of the spectrum,
and then count five or ten breaths. Repeat this sequence for a few minutes or longer
before or after a meditation session, or do it one or more times spread
out throughout a session.
You can do the
relaxation exercises lying down or sitting, but they are easier to do lying
down. During a meditation session you should do them sitting in the same posture you are meditating in.
If you don't notice a pleasant feeling of relaxation while
counting the breath, here are some things you can try:
As you notice the pleasant feeling of relaxation while
counting the breath, it should
not feel like you are doing several things at the same time where you have to
split your attention between the tasks. Counting, relaxing, and noticing
the pleasant feeling of relaxation should be one action as
if you let out a sigh and said "aah" as you stepped
into a warm jacuzzi. This combines relaxation (which reduces stress
and eases unpleasant emotions), concentration on counting (which quiets
the mind by reducing mental chatter),
and experiencing pleasure (which produces happiness and other pleasant emotions) in one action. It is three types of meditation
in one.
If you are experiencing any unpleasant emotion or feeling such as anger,
anxiety, annoyance, etc., while you notice the feeling of relaxation as
you exhale, also try to notice, at the same time, the sensations in your
body that comprise the unpleasant emotion. If noticing these together
helps to diminish the unpleasant emotion, continue to diminish it in
this way.
As you continue to meditate by observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you inhale and exhale while counting the breath,
every time you notice your mind wandering,
release
any unpleasant thoughts
or emotions that may have arisen and bring your mind back into
meditation. Take a second to notice the contrast between how it felt to be
thinking and how
peaceful it is to just observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you
count the breath. When you appreciate this contrast, you will naturally
want to have a calm mind and it will help to motivate you to meditate
and to restrain your mind from wandering.
As you meditate, try to maintain the attitude that you are just trying to have a pleasant, relaxing, calming meditation session.
The feeling of relaxation can be subtle and it is possible while you
are counting the breath, to forget to also notice the feeling of
relaxation. This is particularly likely if you have previously
meditated by counting the breath or done another type of meditation on
the breath. If you notice you are no longer
observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation, sigh a few times or try one
of the above visualizations if necessary and resume counting
the breath while observing the feeling
of relaxation as you inhale and exhale.
Observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation might make you want to
smile. If you feel like it, go ahead and smile and notice the pleasant
emotions that you feel.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Distractions While you are meditating, it is likely
that you will become distracted occasionally. When this
happens take a second to note what you are distracted by,
whether it is a thought or emotion. Try to understand the
distraction in terms of the
three characteristics of all things:
unsatisfactoriness, impermanence, and not-self.
Do this by asking yourself, "Is this about
desire, impermanence, and/or ego?"
If you are distracted by an unpleasant thought or emotion, something you
don't want to think about, or something you want to push away, try to
release it.
Notice any sensations in your body that accompany emotions and if you
feel any tension try to relax it. Then continue meditating as you were
doing before you became distracted: relax as you inhale, relax as you
exhale, notice the pleasant feeling of relaxation, count the breath, and
smile if you feel like it.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Meditating with your eyes open. This meditation technique
should help you to feel relaxed and your mind to become calm.
Meditating with the eyes closed will help you to relax the body and
relax away unpleasant emotions if you are feeling stress or are upset.
Meditating in a deeply relaxed state with the eyes closed can help
you develop equanimity because when you return to a more normal
state of consciousness, you will be very relaxed and more able to remain
relaxed when faced with situations that might otherwise upset you.
You
should start the meditation session with your eyes closed. But when you
feel you are more relaxed, you may open your eyes if you want to and continue meditating
with your eyes open.
Meditating with your eyes open can make it easer to maintain
concentration which will help to calm the wanderings of the mind.
If you become drowsy meditating with your eyes closed, it can help to
meditate with your eyes open.
When
you meditate with your eyes open, you can gaze at the floor, a wall, a
thangka,
mandala
or anyting you like.
Soft Focus:
Try to maintain a soft focus with your eyes.
Soft focus means your eyes are somewhat relaxed. They do focus on
what you are looking at and change focus if you look at something nearer
or farther away. And you can read while your eyes are soft focused. But
you do not make that last little bit of effort to move your full
consciousness into what you are looking at. It's hard to explain in
words, but it is a natural thing to do so hopefully you will know
what I mean. The purpose of using soft focus
is that
it helps you to maintain a relaxed meditative state
with your eyes open whereas a normal focus will tend to
bring you out of a relaxed meditative state into a more normal, less relaxed, state of consciousness.
As you count your breaths with your eyes open,
if you notice your vision becomes
less clear, or if stray thoughts distract your awareness away from what
you are looking at, bring what you see back into awareness and clear
focus. This will help you to keep the mind from wandering.
If you find it difficult to perceive the feeling of relaxation as you
inhale and exhale with your
eyes open, review the
suggestions in step 3, in particular try breathing slower.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Relaxation and calm.
After meditating for a
while, you will become more relaxed and the mind will become calmer.
It may help to think of meditation as a processes with two facets:
- Relaxing the body by relaxing as you inhale and exhale.
- Quieting the mind by quieting its internal chatter: by not thinking
analytically (trying to solve problems), and by not thinking about the past
or future, but just observing the present, by observing the pleasant feeling of
relaxation in your body as you inhale and exhale, and by counting the breath.
Try to notice how you feel before you begin meditating so you can
appreciate these effects of meditation. These effects in themselves
make meditating worth the time and effort you put into it. They also
indicate you are meditating correctly and the technique is working
correctly.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Happiness: Smile if you feel like it.
These meditation instructions so far should produce a pleasant, contented,
relaxed state. If you like that, you can remain in that state and consider what
follows as optional. You can also try the following steps and if
at times in the future you want to forgo them, you don't have to
go on to them.
After meditating for a while, observing the pleasant feeling of
relaxation as you breathe, you might
feel like smiling a little bit.
Notice any feelings around your lips or at
the corners of your mouth, or any pleasant feelings of relaxation, happiness, love, or good will. Do
you feel a smile coming on? If you feel like smiling, let yourself smile, even if it's just a little smile.
Focusing your attention on any sensations or tingling you feel in the lips
as you meditate can help bring on a smile.
Smiling
will help you to experience feelings of happiness produced by this
method of meditation. Notice the feeling of happiness that
accompanies the smile as you continue to meditate. Every time you hold
in a smile you are teaching yourself to suppress feelings of happiness.
Every time you smile when you feel like smiling, you are reinforcing
your ability to express feelings of happiness.
A good time to check to see if you feel like smiling is if you feel deeply relaxed or
or if you experience any type of altered state such as a floating sensation, a feeling
of expanded boundaries, or sudden alertness after a deep state of relaxation, see if you feel like smiling then.
According to an article in
psychologytoday.com,
smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, endorphins and serotonin.
These molecules fight stress by relaxing your body, and lowering you heart rate and blood
pressure. They also relieve pain, and improve your mood. When you are smiling,
people will view you as attractive, reliable, relaxed and sincere.
People around will smile if you are smiling and they will get the same
benefits from smiling.
Dr. Maoshing Ni
says that smiling reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
An article in
psychologytoday.com
explains that high levels cortisol cause anxiety and have many other undesirable effects.
If the meditation technique doesn't make you feel like smiling, the
Troubleshooting
section below has some suggestions.
You don't have to start off with a huge grin.
All you need is a little bit of amusement or pleasantness to
evoke a tiny bit of a smile. This is because smiling creates a feedback
loop (see below). If the mind is calm enough,
once you trigger a smile,
focusing your attention on the pleasant sensations it produces can
replace whatever triggered it
and then it feeds off itself and becomes more
intense as long as you maintain awareness of it.
You can use the troubleshooting suggestions even
if you do feel like smiling if they help produce a happy feeling sooner
or if they produce feelings of greater intensity. One suggestion that
can be highly effective is to think of something pleasant. For example,
someone you love giving you a hug or a cute animal that might make you
feel like smiling.
It doesn't have to be something spiritual, thinking
of winning the lottery might work as well. If you try this, notice the
happy feeling that made you want to smile. Try to concentrate on the
feeling while you continue counting the breath rather than the thought
that produced it.
If you want, you can also try the hammock posture while
you meditate. The hammock posture is a yoga
asana where you sit the way you normally do for meditation but
you form the lips into the shape of a hammock. You do
that by slightly contracting the corners of the mouth as if you were
smiling. If you do this, then even the slightest feelings of
wanting to smile will be able to express themselves in a smile.
But if you don't feel like smiling, don't force it. You should
understand that you might not feel like smiling every time you meditate
this way, there are too many variables in life for any meditation
technique to guarantee happiness. Otherwise, if you are expecting to be
happy and it is slow in coming, you may feel anticipation, worry, or
disappointment. This can counteract the beneficial effects of the
meditation and it can also prevent feelings of happiness that might
arise a few minutes later. As mentioned above, the relaxation and calm
you feel after meditating indicates you are meditating correctly and the
technique is working correctly. Appreciate that. If you don't feel
like smiling, it doesn't mean anything is wrong.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Stabilizing the smile feedback loop. Once you start smiling and you notice the pleasant feelings that accompany
the smile, those feelings may make you want to smile more and that can create
a
feedback loop
that you can keep up for as long as you care to maintain concentration.
Your awareness of the feelings is part of the feedback loop so the
intensity of the feelings will be greater if you are able
to maintain a more focused concentration and restrain your mind from
wandering.
At first, the feedback loop might be unstable. You might feel like smiling but
the feeling could fade. As you meditate longer, it might come back and it could
come and go a few times. At this stage relaxing deeply can be helpful.
Eventually, if your mind is calm and
you are able to relax while concentrating sufficiently, the feedback loop should
stabilize and the feelings that accompany the smile should
be stronger and constant.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Intensifying the smile feedback loop.
Once the feedback loop is stabilized you can
try to intensify the positive
emotions that are released when you smile.
You should consider this step optional. Sometimes you might like
to keep the positive emotions at a low intensity and you don't have to
go through this step and produce them at high levels.
Continue to breathe in the same
way and focus your mind on counting and the pleasant feeling of relaxation
when you inhale and exhale. Also notice the pleasant feelings that come
out when you smile. You can continue meditating in this way and let the
feedback loop intensify naturally and gradually. The following
suggestions may work faster and be helpful for beginners. But
after you gain more experience you may find you prefer gradual approach.
As you meditate, it may help to intensify the feedback loop if
you shift the main emphasis of your
attention among the different
aspects of the technique.
These aspects are:
- The sensations involved in breathing.
- Counting.
- The pleasant feeling of relaxation as you relax while inhaling and
exhaling. You may be able to intensify the feedback loop just by
alternately focusing your attention on
relaxing while inhaling and relaxing while exhaling.
- If you are meditating with your eyes closed try opening them for a minute or two.
- The sensations in and around the lips as you smile.
- The pleasant emotions released by smiling.
- Any of the techniques suggested in the troubleshooting section to
help induce a smile. Such as:
- Holding your hands in front of you with the palms upward and imagining
healing light flowing down into you from a higher source.
- Any mental imagery you might have used to help induce a smile.
This could include:
- Someone you love.
- A cute animal.
- Unconditional love for all beings.
- Love for the well-being of the planet.
- If you are religious, it could be your concept of God.
(Most people are
happiest
when they are feeling love.)
- Remember that you are trying to have a pleasant, relaxing, calming experience without any stress or attachment to having an intense experience.
Sometimes focusing your attention on the heart chakra may help intensify
the feedback loop.
After a while, you will notice which aspects, of the technique help you to
intensify the feedback loop and you can shift your attention just among those. Then, if you want to (this is optional), you can make a mantra to help you to remember
them. For example one such mantra might be:
In / out
Hands / heart
Love / the world
To use the mantra, you would say to yourself inwardly, "In" as you
inhale, "out" as you exhale and continue saying the mantra in rhythm
with your breathing. But don't just think the words, for this to work
you also have to observe the sensations associated with each aspect of
the technique as you say it. For example as you say "heart" notice the
sensations in your heart chakra. As you say "love"
think of the feeling of love that is produced by the smile feedback
loop.
This mantra is just an example. It will work better if you
create your own based on what works best for you. But
in the case of this particular mantra,
one could spend a little bit
of time visualizing the healing
light coming into them and the love they feel flowing out to heal the world.
But this should not be over done by a beginner as it could drain one of energy.
Another mantra to use with this technique is:
May the light / of God
Heal and bless / the world
While you do this technique, try not to be
attached to any particular outcome. Just try to do the technique as described
while intending to have a pleasant, calming, relaxing meditation session.
Don't create stress for yourself by craving an intense experience. Relaxation
is easy, enjoy it and the technique will actually work better.
Those who have practiced vipassana meditation may notice a similarity
between this and body scanning in which the meditator observes the
sensations in different parts of the body.
If you find the emotions have become too intense, you can stop
smiling and stop meditating and the emotions should cease.
Or you can try continuing with the meditation
but stop focusing on any part of the body such as the lips
or the hands that you focused on to intensify the feedback loop
while continuing to noticing the other pleasant feelings
produced.
You also may prefer to intensify the smile feedback loop more gradually by
alternating counting the breath and repetition
of
the mantra. The ratio of cycles of counting the breath and repetition of
the mantra does not have to be 1:1. It could 2 or more cycles of counting the breath to each repetition of the mantra or it could be one cycle of counting
the breath to 2 or more repetitions of the mantra.
Intensifying the smile feedback loop is a useful practice because
it will enhance your capacity to be happy and it will give you
facility with being happy. It will make it easier for
you to use this technique when you experience difficulties in life.
Think of it as exercising your happiness muscles.
It also might lead to spiritual experiences.
As a beginner, you should try to let go of any expectations
and take on an attitude of patience
and just continue meditating and allow the intensity to increase
over ten or twenty minutes. There is no real minimum or maximum amount
of time for this,
but until
you develop experience to inform your own judgment, ten or twenty minutes is
suitable.
However if you are tense or stressed or feeling some unpleasant emotion
or your mind is turbulent, you may start this new phase later and
for the present
meditate as you have been doing: continue to relax as you inhale and
exhale and observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you count the breath.
When you first start experiencing this intense happiness, after the
first thrill of the intensity, you may sense something is not quite
right, that there is something uncomfortable or conflicted about it.
This can be caused by conflicting emotions.
Even though you
are very happy,
you might have some
unpleasant thoughts or emotions lingering in your mind.
The unpleasant emotions could be due to something that happened
today, or they could be something from the past, or they could be
worries about the future. It might be something you are aware of or it
might be something that is unconscious. If you know what it is, you can
try to
release
it, or continue relaxing. If you are not sure what it is, you can try
asking yourself what it might be and try to release what you think it
might be. But you should also be aware that some emotions might be
produced by biochemical phenomena and there might not be a practical way
to let go of them through psychological means.
Once you become familiar with setting up this feedback loop,
you might be able to start it right away at the beginning of your
meditation session just by remembering the last time you experienced it
and letting that pleasant memory make you smile.
When you first learn to experience this intense happiness, it may
seem wonderful and fascinating and you may want to do it whenever you
are able to. This is particularly true if your life up to now, has not
had as much happiness as you would have liked. But after a time, when
you become familiar with the experience, it may lose some of its
mystique and you may find it more peaceful to experience the emotions at
a less intense level or you may prefer serenity to happiness.
You can chose what you feel because you can control
the intensity of the feedback loop.
You may find that the ideal
allocation of attention between counting the breath and the smile
feedback loop is somewhere near 50% to each. Too much concentration on
counting the breath can cause repression and irritability, but
too little concentration will not sufficiently quiet emotional and
mental turbulence. Dividing your attention nearly equally between counting
the breath and the smile feedback loop usually produces best results, but
you can experiment and decide for yourself how you want to meditate.
It can be a little bit tricky to split your attention this way because
it can
be hard to maintain concentration on counting while being aware of
the smile feedback loop. But with a little practice, it is possible.
If you find the emotions are too intense,
stop smiling
and continue meditating focusing on the pleasant feeling of relaxation
you notice with breathing. That produces a peaceful, contented state.
You can also control the effect by smiling just the slightest bit
with the intention of developing the same emotions
but remaining
relaxed, peaceful and contented,
and without the high
intensity that otherwise would be produced.
Leigh Brasington has a web page where he discusses a similar type of smiling meditation.
He discusses several stages called jhanas.
He explains that to move from the first jhana to the second jhana,
focus on the emotional pleasure rather
than the physical pleasure. In a video he
suggests taking a deep breath
to accomplish the same transition. And he says to stop smiling to transition from the third
jhana to the fourth. In the video, Brassington also states
that the process involves a feedback loop that causes the production of
brain chemicals.
Where Brasington says to focus on the emotional pleasure rather than
the physical pleasure, I would say if you are
focusing on some part of the body to intensify the smile feedback loop
such as the lips or the hands, then stop including those
areas in the focus of your attention, but continue to be aware of
pleasant emotions produced.
(In the video, Brasington tries to explain how spiritual experiences
produced by meditation
are caused by brain chemicals. While the brain doesn't produce
consciousness, it does
filter consciousness,
so this is perfectly reasonable and it is to be expected that
there would be a correlation between brain states and mental states.
But one thing Brasington says in the video which is not
credible is that the experience of moving through a tunnel during a
near-death experience is caused by seeing
the circle of light meditators sometimes see as the nervous
system quiets down.
The reason this is not credible is because
NDEs usually seem to be real to the experiencer. In fact, they are
are more vivid, more detailed than normal waking consciousness.
Since a person in normal waking consciousness going
through a tunnel would know that he is not
just
seeing a circle, it is not credible that a person having a
realer-than-real experience of moving through a tunnel could really just be seeing
a circle. Think of all the times you have gone through
a tunnel. Could that experience be explained instead as seeing a circle?
None of the
materialist explanations
for NDEs really explain the phenomenon.
Medical professionals are being educated
about the psychological harm that dismissing spiritual experiences
with materialist explanations can inflict on experiencers.
People need to talk about their experiences in order to come to
terms with them. To do this they have to feel comfortable discussing
their experiences
and if the first person they speak to is dismissive of the
experience, they will be unlikely to talk to anyone else about it in
the future.)
Bhante Vimalaramsi uses smiling meditation to produce the Brahma Viharas.
He has
stated
that according to
The Bojjhangasamyutta Sutta from The Samyutta Nikaya,
focusing on feelings of love (metta: loving kindness)
will bring you into the fourth jhana and continuing to meditate will
produce natural transitions through the other stages to the final
state of nibbana. In that sutta, the Brahman Vhiaras are
said to
bring you as far as the seventh jhana. Loving kindness is said to
take you into the fourth jhana, compassion into the fifth (the infinitude of
space), empathetic joy
into the sixth
(the infinitude of consciousness),
and equanimity into the seventh (the sphere of nothingness).
My intention for the smiling meditation that I am describing on this web page
is for it to be more like a Brahma Viharas meditation than a jhana meditation.
It is intended to produce various positive emotions.
I would encourage readers to learn what others have to say
about
smiling meditation. However, I don't think of this
practice in the traditional stages
of jhana. I find there are more states than other
writers describe and I adjust the practice to provide
what I want from it
at the time. I also see sitting meditation as a means of
developing the skill to use the practice during daily life.
If I am experiencing stress, I keep the emotions
muted and focus more on relaxation and contentment. Other times
I might like to experience intense levels of love and connectedness.
I see this practice as a variable technique that can help in
different ways at different times. As you gain experience with
the technique you will find that you can control the experience
too.
If you practice this form of meditation a lot, you may find that you
are still smiling out of habit even if the positive emotions from your
previous meditation session have faded away.
This can
produce an uncomfortable conflicted feeling like you are
trying to force yourself
to be happy. If you feel this way, stop smiling and take a second to
observe how you really feel.
You can
bring back the positive emotions
with another session of meditation.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- More mantras.
After you have developed some experience with this meditation technique,
using mantras can help you progress quickly through the stages of meditation.
Even if you use the first two mantras for only a few repetitions each, they
can still help to put you in the correct frame of mind for the next
stage of meditation.
When you begin meditating, try this mantra to remind you to pay attention
to the pleasant feeling of relaxation as you relax while inhaling and
exhaling. You can use the mantra for just a few repetitions or up to tens of
minutes.
relaxing in / relaxing out
how pleasant it is / to relax
Say the part of the mantra before the "/" to yourself as you inhale and say
the part of the mantra after the "/" to yourself as you exhale.
Or you can try this (highly recommended) mantra:
(Breathe slowly enough so that you don't have to rush through the words.)
breathing in / breathing out
relaxing in / relaxing out
smiling in / smiling out
Or this one:
in / out
feeling / relaxed
quiet / mind
pleasantly / abiding
Here's another variation:
in / out
relax / smile
quiet / mind
How to use this variation:
- in / out: Focus your attention on the pleasant feeling of relaxation
that occurs when you inhale and exhale.
- relax / smile:
Relax your whole body and notice the feeling of relaxation in your whole
body. / Smile if you feel like smiling and notice any pleasant or happy
feelings produced by smiling.
- quiet / mind:
Focus your attention on something, such as the words "quiet" and "mind"
as you think them, or on something you are gazing at, and notice the
absence of mental chatter as the mind is focused. Notice how peaceful that
is and how pleasant that peacefulness is.
You can try this at various times throughout the day or use this mantra
to practice during daily activities. When you focus
your attention on something you are looking at, notice the absence of
mental chatter when your attention is focused. Mental
chatter can create a lot of problems, we tell ourselves why
we should be unhappy, what to worry about, what we want but don't have
etc. etc. Notice how peaceful you feel when the mind is focused and the
chatter is quieted. It should be a feeling of relaxation and letting go
(not a feeling of tension and suppression). If that quiet feeling makes
you feel like smiling, go
ahead and smile and notice the pleasant or happy feeling that
accompanies smiling. However if you experience unpleasant thoughts or
feelings arising, release them, don't suppress them.
Then try this next mantra (or a custom mantra you used in the previous step above) while smiling a little bit to help stabilize and
intensify the smile feedback loop. You can use it for just a few
repetitions or for tens of minutes.
in / out
hands / lips
eyes / open
When you feel the smile feedback loop is stabilized and intensifying, you
can continue to use the mantra or simply count the breath while being
aware of the pleasant feelings produced by smiling and relaxing as you inhale
and exhale.
You can also use these mantras during daily activities.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Other emotions.
As the feeling of happiness intensifies, you may experience other emotions
such as unconditional love, a connection with God, or a connectedness to
all things.
The progressions of states is approximately like this:
- Awareness of the breath.
- Feeling of relaxation.
- Unpleasant emotions and feelings of stress weaken.
- The mind becomes calmer, mental chatter is reduced.
- Feeling like smiling.
- Smiling and the associated bodily sensations and emotions.
- Happiness.
- Love.
- Connectedness.
- Equanimity.
- ...
If you experience some of these feelings, be aware of them as you continue to meditate.
More than one state may be experienced at a given time and the order is
not absolutely fixed. For example, equanimity can be present at any
stage but it strengthens with each successive state. And
previous states do not necessarily dissipate as the next one appears.
After you feel connectedness, you can feel all the previous states at
the same
time.
At times you may feel like you have had your fill of intense
emotions. When this happens,
you may
naturally gravitate to a state of quiet, contented, equanimity.
The feelings of happiness, love, and connectedness will still be there, but more subdued, and you can increase their intensity whenever you want.
If you want to try to experience the more subdued and subtle
feelings of relaxation,
peace of mind, contentedness and equanimity produced by
this meditation,
continue to observe the pleasant feeling of
relaxation as you inhale and exhale and continue to count the breath,
but
keep the smile feedback loop subdued.
This would usually involve smiling only slightly or not at all and not
focusing your attention on any physical sensation such as those around the lips or in
the hands. Imagining a calm, peaceful, contented, equanimous state of mind
can also help.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Reining in the smile feedback loop.
This step is optional. When you become proficient at
producing the smile feedback loop, you may find that you
do it automatically whenever you meditate. In that case,
if you feel like you have had your fill of intense emotions,
or if you want to meditate to calm mental turbulence
or do a different type of meditation, you might want to rein in the
smile feedback loop.
By doing so, you can still enjoy the relaxation, peace of mind, contentedness and equanimity produced by this meditation but without other intense emotions.
To rein in the smile feedback loop, stop smiling and withdraw your
attention from those
sensations and emotions you use to produce the feedback loop
while continuing to observe the pleasant feeling
of relaxation as you inhale and exhale and continuing to
count the breath. For example, you might no longer include emotions
such as
happiness or sensations such as those around the lips in
the focus of meditation. Or you can keep the smile feedback loop
going but at a reduced rate by withdrawing your attention
proportionately from those sensations and emotions.
When you rein in the smile feedback loop, you know and feel the pleasant
emotions produced by the feedback loop are available to you whenever you
want them, but for the moment, for a particular purpose, you
are focusing more narrowly and have temporarily withdrawn your
awareness from them.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- When the session is over. When the meditation session is
over, notice if you feel more relaxed and calmer than when you began the
session. If you are not already smiling, notice if the feeling of relaxation and calm make you want to
smile. If so, let yourself smile and notice any feelings of happiness it
produces.
After the meditation session, it can be instructive to notice what disrupts
the meditative state as you go about your daily activities. In particular,
if you stop smiling, the pleasant emotions may cease. If
you want these emotions to persist, try to keep relaxing as you inhale and
exhale and keep smiling.
Notice how your mind feels when you smile, light and free. Notice how
it feels when you stop smiling, dull and heavy. You might be able
to maintain the light free feeling for a time after the meditation session
by relaxing and smiling just a little bit. If you can remember the light
free feeling, you might be able to get back into the right state of mind
in the future just by remembering (bringing to mind) this feeling.
In a sense, relaxation and smiling are both attitudes that you can
maintain by choice even when you are not meditating. You practice them
during meditation to develop familiarity and facility in taking on
those attitudes and this can help you to maintain them when you are
not meditating.
If you find that
certain activities or attitudes or opinions disrupt these emotions, you might
want to give them up or change them (but be warned, this can have
effects on career and relationships). Stress can cause mental fixation
and it can be very hard to meditate to get back into a peaceful state
after doing something stressful. This is not to say you should avoid
stressful tasks, just that you should understand how they influence your
mental state and interact with the practice of meditation.
An alternative to giving up things that disrupt the pleasant state
produced by meditation is to learn how to remain in that state
despite the occurrence of disruptive events.
It can be very helpful to notice when something upsets you and causes
you to transition from the pleasant relaxed state of mind produced by
meditation to an unpleasant upset state. If you investigate this
phenomenon diligently, you may see that being upset is not really useful
or necessary but for some reason the mind overreacts or reacts habitually.
It is like a
delusion. The mind creates the delusion. If you develop the
habit of noticing this phenomena or reviewing it mentally, you may see
that you have the ability to refrain from entering into the delusion by
releasing
the unpleasant thought or feeling and using the skills you developed during meditation to return to the
pleasant relaxed state.
In addition, meditation quiets the mind and when the thought processes are slowed down, it is easier to see what is happening when the mind reacts habitually or automatically.
This is not an intellectual process nor is it
an act of repressing a thought or emotion. It is more like developing a
skill than using knowledge. It is more like desensitization (where you
learn to think of something unpleasant while relaxing and without
reacting emotionally) than it is like repression. It results in knowing
intuitively from repeated observations of experiences that the emotional
upset is a pointless charade, a delusion, and knowing how to refrain from
entering it. This doesn't turn you into an emotionless zombie, it gives
you the power to act with wisdom and love rather than anger and fear.
If you experience feelings of happiness from meditating,
notice what happens when something brings you out of that state. Try
to be
constantly alert for things that make the happiness fade. When
something upsets you, notice how your feelings change from happy to
upset. Try to get a clear sense of the feelings in your body that
correspond to "upset" or annoyed or angry etc. You will find that
those feelings are like tension. If possible, try to get back into the
happy state. It can help if you use your natural mirth of the happy
state to
laugh
at the feelings and events that upset you. Or you can try
to relax the tension. But ultimately what will return you to the happy
state is the meditation technique: relax as you inhale, relax as you
exhale and smile if you feel like it. Learn to use this technique in
daily life (see below) to maintain the happy state as much as possible.
Releasing unpleasant thoughts and emotions is much easier to do when in
that state.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Practicing in Daily Life
You can also use this meditation technique
during daily
activities. This might help you to maintain a pleasant, relaxed, happy
state of mind throughout the day even in situations in which you
otherwise might not feel relaxed. It will require a certain amount of
effort and concentration to do this and your mind will have to be calm.
You will have to make the same effort to restrain your mind from wandering
that you do during sitting meditation. But
the real benefit from this meditation technique
comes when you can use
the skills you learn during
your sitting meditation sessions
in daily life. In a way, the sitting meditation sessions,
while they should be pleasant and refreshing, are really just practice
for what you can do in daily life.
I explained it on my blog this way:
I have wonderful experiences out walking feeling love for and
connectedness to the birds and trees and people and other living things
and all things. It's even nicer experiencing the world through [this meditation], than
it is sitting alone with it doing nothing.
If you want to try using this meditation technique in daily life, keep these points in mind:
- Don't try to meditate while you are driving or using power tools or any other type of dangerous equipment.
-
The key to practicing this meditation in daily life is to breathe in a
relaxing way and maintain awareness of the pleasant feeling of
relaxation as you inhale and exhale. This pleasant feeling will make
you want to smile and smiling will release further pleasant emotions
that focusing your attention on will maintain a feedback loop.
Counting the breath will help you to keep your attention focused
by reducing the tendency for the mind to wander.
- Meditate first. If you have several things on your to-do list
including, meditation, mediate first and then try to do the other tasks in
a meditative way. Starting out in a meditative state will help you do
the other tasks in meditative way. And if you decide you don't have
enough time for everything, you will have already meditated so
it won't get put off till tomorrow.
- Maintain a soft focus with your eyes. See the section above
on Meditating with your eyes open. for an explanation of soft focus.
-
Walking is a good way to practice this meditation technique outside
of a sitting meditation session. If you try it:
- Don't walk where there is traffic or any type of dangerous activity going on around you. Don't walk in rough terrain where a fall could injure you.
- If you go on a long walk, bring a snack to give your brain the fuel it needs to produce positive emotions.
- To help maintain focus and keep the mind from wandering, you can
count the breath as you do in sitting meditation, or you can count the number of steps in each breath.
For example, if you breathe once every six steps, you could count to
three as you inhale and from four to six as you exhale.
- Don't get too relaxed. Try to keep a normal posture and gait.
-
Slow TV:
It can be very pleasant to practice serenity meditation while watching videos of peaceful
nature scenes with relaxing background music. You can find these types
of videos by searching for "slow tv" on the internet. Some of them
can be at
the following links:
- You can try this type of meditation while lying down and relaxing.
But practicing while lying down is not a substitute for the regular daily practice
while sitting. However, practicing this meditation while deeply relaxed can
help you to better understand the process of relaxation
and help you develop the ability to relax instead of becoming upset when emotions arise.
Developing this skill can lead to equanimity.
Meditating while lying down can be particularly helpful if there is something
causing you to feel stressed or upset and you find that you can't relax.
If you meditate lying down and become deeply relaxed, almost to the edge
of sleep, (you might at some point even feel a wave of relaxation sweep over
you), you may find that you are no longer
stressed or upset.
Continuing to lie still may provide you with relief from
the unpleasant feelings. In some cases, you might find that even when you get
up, you still feel the relaxed and unbothered.
- Using the Computer In some case it is possible to
do this technique while using the computer. The key is to focus on
the feelings of relaxation produced by breathing and the feelings and
emotions produced by the smile feedback loop whenever possible
as you use the computer.
Using the computer can sometimes be stressful, but if you
slow down and meditate in a relaxing way you can learn not
to get caught up in stress when using the computer.
- Don't stop or reduce your sitting meditation sessions just because you begin
to use the technique in daily life. Sitting meditation sessions will
help to make you relaxed and your mind calm. This will make it
easier to use the technique in daily life. It would be much harder
to use the technique effectively in daily life if you did not get
the boost in relaxation and calm from sitting meditation sessions.
And it is also easier to maintain positive
emotions
than to produce them.
- If you have some facility stabilizing and intensifying the smile
feedback loop, you may be able to maintain it when you stop
meditating just by noticing the pleasant feelings it produces.
- The main difficulty in doing this technique in daily life is that
there are so many distractions that it is hard to maintain focus on the
pleasant feeling of relaxation as you relax while inhaling and exhaling.
If you are finding it difficult to get the technique to work in daily
life, remember that you have to maintain a similar sort of meditative
discipline as you do during sitting meditation session. You should not
be as totally focused on meditating as you would be in a sitting
meditation session but you do have to focus your mind on the pleasant
feeling of relaxation as you relax while inhaling and exhaling, and you
have to make some effort to restrain your mind from wandering.
Back to Detailed Instructions
- Your Next Meditation Session
You should view each meditation session as a time for relaxation, calmness, and peace. You should not view it as a contest to produce the highest intensity
of joyful emotions. While meditating, you may also
release
unpleasant thoughts
and emotions that arise during the session and experience happiness and other
positive emotions.
In each meditation session, the meditation technique should be
applied to relaxing the body, relaxing away
unpleasant emotions that you might have accumulated during the day, and
quieting the mind. You should devote a significant portion of your session
to these ends. You might not accomplish these things to 100% perfection
but you should take the time to allow them to happen. Don't be in a rush
to intensify the smile feedback loop. Particularly if you are feeling
some unpleasant emotion, it is best to try to relax it away or release
it before you intensify the smile feedback loop otherwise you may
experience an unpleasant conflicted feeling.
You should not be attached to any expectations about what will happen
during the session.
Any
strong attachment to produce any type of experience will create stress
and can prevent the meditation technique from working. There are too many
variables in life to guarantee any particular outcome
from a meditation session.
You should just sit down knowing the purpose of the session is to
relax and calm the mind.
Let counting the breath and observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation
as you inhale and exhale fill your mind and wash away any tension or
upset.
When you first feel like smiling, give the feedback loop time to
stabilize before you start to intensify the emotions released by
smiling. After you practice this form of meditation for a while, you
might find that smiling a little bit is more pleasant and relaxing than
not smiling, and you might feel like smiling at the beginning of the
session. If you feel like it, go ahead and smile, but also give
yourself time to relax and the mind to calm. You can let the feedback
loop stabilize as you relax and calm the mind
before you move your
attention fully on intensifying the feedback loop.
You may find the feedback loop intensifies even before you focus your
attention on it.
Back to Detailed Instructions
When you read these meditation instructions, it might seem like there are too many things to do simultaneously.
However, in actual practice it is not difficult.
Put the main focus of your
attention on breathing and observing the
pleasant feeling of relaxation.
Counting breaths should not require much additional
attention or distract you from the main focus.
Counting in itself is not important it is just
a neutral way of keeping the verbal center of the mind occupied to reduce
mental chatter thus helping the mind to quiet down.
When you do this meditation technique, you should clearly understand how
it works. You should understand what your intention should be,
i.e. what you will try to do during the meditation. And you should also
understand what the effects of the meditation are likely to be, i.e. what
may happen to you if you follow the technique. And with one exception, relaxing, you should not
confuse what you try to do with what happens to you.
During the meditation session, you should breathe gently.
It is okay to try to relax.
You should observe your breath. You should count your breaths.
You should observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation. You should
smile if you feel like smiling.
What happens to you, (what the
effect of the meditation is), is that you should become more relaxed (muscle
tension, and negative emotions should dissipate somewhat).
Focusing the mind (on counting the breath and the pleasant feeling) will make
the mind calmer, there will be less mental chatter. Observing the
pleasant feeling of relaxation can produce feelings of happiness and
other more intense positive emotions. Smiling if you feel like it will
remove unconscious suppression of feelings of happiness and other positive
emotions.
You should not confuse the effects of the meditation technique, i.e.
the mind becoming calmer, and feelings of happiness arising, with what you are
trying to do. You don't try to force the mind to be calm, you just devote
your attention to the breath, counting, and the pleasant feeling and
the mind will become calm. You don't force yourself
to be happy you just observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation, and
feelings of happiness may arise.
The meditation technique as I have described it so far should be the main focus of the
practice. It is easy to get sidetracked by what
I will say below and become too focused on that. The main
practice is to count the breath while breathing gently
and if you notice a pleasant feeling of relaxation,
observe that feeling, and smile if you feel like smiling.
Below I have some additional suggestions to get the technique to work
but
don't become overly concerned with whether or not you feel anything
because that will produce stress and cause distraction and
it will prevent the technique from
working.
Back to Detailed Instructions
Back to Serenity Meditation
Troubleshooting
- If you have trouble concentrating and your mind wanders a lot, try
to focus most of your attention on saying the numbers inwardly as you count
the breath. Try to do it in a relaxed way without using too much
intensity or mental force, just relaxed attention.
-
If you have trouble meditating for more than a few minutes because you feel impatient,
see the article on my blog
Why is it so hard to concentrate? Sources of distraction and obstacles to concentration during meditation.
It may also help if you try to notice the feeling of
wanting to get up and do something. It could be impatience, anxiety,
stress, tension or some unpleasant emotion you want to distract yourself
from. Notice the sensations in your body that make up the feeling.
Notice that with each breath as you exhale you can relax a little bit
and the feeling gets a little bit weaker.
In a little while, the feeling should become diminished and you should be able to meditate for
a longer period of time.
-
This
meditation does not require any special posture. You can do it sitting in a chair the way you normally sit while watching TV, working at your desk, or eating a meal.
If you have trouble relaxing during meditation, there are a few things you can try:
-
When you are first learning this technique, you might need some help
to get the point where you feel like smiling.
If you don't feel like smiling during your meditation session, here are a few things you can try to trigger the smile feedback loop:
-
Diet and exercise can influence brain chemistry in ways that can help or hinder this type of meditation.
- Some types of exercise can be stressful (weight lifting, jogging, etc) and therfore increase levels of stress
hormones while otther types of exercise (yoga, Tai Chi, walking at a leisurly pace) can be relaxing and reduce levels of stress hormones.
The these effects depend on how you do the exercise and can vary from person to person.
However, increased levels of stress hormones can make it hard to concentrate
and make meditation more difficult while lower levels of stress hormones can make meditation easier.
- The amounts and proportions of
carbohydrates and protein in your
diet can influence the levels of serotonin produced in the brain. If
your brain is not able to produce sufficient serotonin you will not be
able to experience the intense positive feelings this meditation can
produce. This is further complicated by the fact that exercise can
increase the amount of protein your body needs.
This subject is too complex to be adequately covered here but you should be able to find more information by searching the internet.
- If something described in the meditation instructions isn't working,
just try to follow the instruction as
closely as you can. Don't "try too hard", and try not to have
expectations about what should happen during your meditation session.
If you try too hard or you try to produce a certain type of experience
it, will create stress and that will defeat the purpose of the
meditation and the meditation will not work as well. Just try to be
relaxed and don't worry about what else might or might not happen.
- If you feel conflicted, i.e. you have both unpleasant feelings
as well as happy feelings: Try to let go of any expectation about what
should happen while you are meditating. Go back to counting the breath
and observing the feeling of relaxation as you inhale and exhale. Try
to relax any negative thoughts and emotions from current situations.
Try to
release
any negative thoughts and emotions from the past. Try to
reestablish the smile feedback loop.
- Don't forget to concentrate on counting the breath. It is possible to
slip into a state where you are counting in the back of your mind while
that part of the mind is also wandering and thinking about different things. Try to
restrain your mind from wandering and keep it focused on counting.
You don't have to be perfectly concentrated but a moderate effort is necessary.
But don't concentrate so hard you become tense, stay relaxed. Don't concentrate
so hard that you ignore the feeling of relaxation as you breathe or the
pleasant feelings that come from smiling. Concentrate on counting to
keep the mind from wandering, but don't exclude other aspects awareness
that are part of the meditation.
-
If you are feeling drowsy, you might want to
try meditating later after
you get some sleep. But sometimes, if you are not too sleepy, you can
meditate with your eyes closed and let yourself get into a very deeply
relaxed state. In this situation, don't worry too much about
maintaining strong concentration. Don't fight the drowsiness. Fighting
it will create stress. Just make a minimal effort to concentrate
even though your mind
may wander a lot. This can be very relaxing and can help you recover
from stress. It is possible to start and maintain the smile feedback
loop when you are meditating like this.
Doing so can add a very relaxed feeling to the effect which you can maintain after the
meditation session is over.
- If you have trouble sitting for more than a few minutes,
you can try meditating with your eyes open while watching nature
videos set to relaxing music. See the section
Slow TV
below for suggested videos and music.
- It is helpful to think of the meditation session as a time
when you will have a pleasant relaxing experience where you count the breath as you relax
while inhaling and exhaling.
But do not hold any expectations about any other types of experiences that
might occur. Just expect to have a pleasant relaxing session.
Even if you can feel the feeling of relaxation when you breathe and
you feel like smiling as you meditate, if these suggestions help the
technique to work faster, you should not hesitate to use them. I use
them myself.
But if you don't feel anything,
that's okay, it might not happen every time, don't force it. Either
way, let go of any expectations you might have about what could happen
during the meditation session and continue counting the breath.
Sometimes you may have an
especially pleasant experience meditating. If you become overly
concerned with reproducing that experience the next time you meditate,
you will find it can cause stress and
distraction and prevent the meditation from working.
You shouldn't be trying to have any particular experience when
you meditate. Just follow the instructions as explained above
and let the experience
develop naturally from doing the technique.
Keep this in mind
and it will be easier to let go of any expectations you have and
you will have better meditation sessions.
The purpose of this meditation is not to make the mind completely still.
The purpose is to:
- Calm the mind by counting the breath so it is easier to control.
- Train the mind to easily access the brain's capacities for
producing happiness (by noticing if there is a pleasant feeling).
- Increase the strength of the feelings of happiness the brain can
produce (by observing a pleasant feeling).
This is a spiritual
practice because when you are happy, you are better able to live
according to spiritual values such as love, forgiveness, tolerance etc.
When you are happy, love arises naturally and you feel a connection to
all things.
This meditation should be relaxing. The effort to concentrate shouldn't
make you feel tense, fatigued or repressed. However, try not to lapse
into the state where you count with half your mind and the other half is
wandering off. Try to devote your attention to the breath,
the pleasant feeling of relaxation if you notice it, or the
pleasant feeling that makes you smile, and awareness of counting.
During the meditation session, if you feel like smiling, do so, let go of
the thought that made you want to smile, but
begin to notice the pleasant feeling it created while you
continue to count the breath.
This technique is, in a way, effortless. It works automatically. You
don't have to do anything special. It's like falling asleep, you don't
force yourself to sleep by an act of will, it comes over you. Just like
falling asleep, if you sit quietly and try to count the breath,
eventually the mind will calm down. When the mind is calm you will
notice a pleasant feeling caused by breathing in a relaxed way or a
pleasant feeling caused by a pleasant thought. As you notice the
pleasant feeling while you meditate with a calm mind, the feeling will
increase over time into feelings of happiness and love.
All this happens automatically. All you do is to make a gentle effort to breathe
in a relaxed way, and count your breaths, and without any expectation or further
intention, notice what you feel.
If you've been meditating this way for a while and you feel
something is not quite right, go back to the beginning of this section
and reread the instructions and follow them as if it was the first time
you tried them. You have to do each component of this meditation
if it is going to work. You have to count your breath, you can't let
your mind wander, you have to observe the pleasant feeling of relaxation,
and you have smile if you feel like it.
More information about this meditation technique can be found at
Joy During Meditation
One of the benefits of this type of meditation is that it shows you
happiness is a choice, and this can improve your entire outlook on
life. If you can do this meditation, you will discover that you have the
ability to be happy when you choose to be. Many people are unhappy and
they feel that it is not under their control and that somehow it is
their fate. But when you know you have the option to be happy, it
changes everything. Then, if you are not happy, it is because you choose
to do things that do not lead to happiness. There is nothing wrong with
that choice and it is empowering to understand that it is your choice
and not fate that is the cause of your unhappiness. Being unhappy is not
a problem if you prefer not to be happy.
Back to Serenity Meditation
Equanimity
This type of meditation
in which you learn to produce pleasant emotions and
release unpleasant
emotions
can lead to a very stable form of equanimity. With practice,
it can help you to
develop the ability to be happy and relaxed even when you are not meditating.
In time, the ability to be happy and relaxed may become second nature
and you will find that in many cases, worrying, becoming angry, or
becoming upset in any way is something you can choose not to do. When
you feel an unpleasant emotion arising, you can choose to be happy
and relaxed instead, and the unpleasantness of the emotion will cease
without the emotion being suppressed.
I described what this is like on facebook group:
There is a certain state produced by meditation - but not limited to a
meditation session, you experience it during daily life - where you
feel all the usual emotions, but you don't consider them a problem, they
are not "suffering". For example you might notice disappointment, but
it's okay. You might notice anxiety, but that's okay too, not a problem.
...
What is very good about this state from a psychological perspective
is that the unpleasant emotions are not suppressed or repressed. They
are allowed to be expressed, but don't cause unpleasantness.
This type of equanimity is known in the Buddhist tradition as
upekkha.
The feelings
of love and connectedness produced by this meditation also help
you to maintain equanimity.
When you love,
you are more tolerant and less apt to become angry.
When faced with the choice of becoming upset
or retaining those pleasant feelings, the choice is obvious.
This meditation
teaches you how to be relaxed, calm, loving, and happy and you can choose
to be that way when you want to.
The calming of the mind caused by this meditation also helps you to
maintain equanimity. When the mind is calm, negative mental chatter
that might lead to or exacerbate anxiety or depression is absent. When
the mind is calm, you can see its activity more dispassionately as an
observer rather than being carried away by it and reacting heedlessly.
You can see clearly the arising of unpleasant thoughts and emotions and
can have the presence of mind to remain happy, loving and relaxed without
suppressing them.
As you can see on this
chart from
www.dhammasukha.org,
when you experience an unpleasant thought or
emotion arising and you relax to cause it to cease, when you extinguish it (Nirvana means extinguish),
you are breaking the
chain of dependent origination at the seventh step: "feeling". When you
do this, you know that the thought or emotion is unpleasant
and causes suffering. You know it is impermanent when it ceases as you
relax. You know it is not part of your eternal self when you reject it
and cause it to stop. When you go through this process, you experience
the truth of
dependent origination, the three characteristics of existence: suffering,
impermanence, and not-self, and the third noble truth: the end of
suffering.
Bhante Vimalaramsi's The 6 R's describes a process for releasing unpleasant emotions
similar to what I have described. His
process involves six steps: Recognize, Release, Relax, Re-Smile, Return, and Repeat. He says about this process (I have added the bold formatting):
...
When a feeling or thought arises, you release it, let it be there without giving anymore attention to it. The content of the distraction is not important at all, but the mechanics of “how” it arose are important! Just let go of any tightness around it; let it be there without placing attention on it. Without attention, the tightness passes away. Mindfulness then reminds you to:
Relax: After releasing the feeling or sensation, and allowing it to be there without trying to control it, there is a subtle, barely noticeable tension within mind/body. This is why the Relax step ("Tranquilization" step as stated in the suttas) is being pointed out by the Buddha in his meditation instructions.
...
Gently re-direct mind’s attention back to the object of meditation (that is the breath and relaxing, or Metta and relaxing) continuing with a gentle collected mind and use that object as a "home base".
...
Repeating the "6Rs cycle" over and over again will eventually replace
old habitual suffering as we see clearly for ourselves what suffering
actually is; notice the cause of it and how we become involved with the
tension and tightness of it; experience how to reach a cessation of that
suffering by releasing and relaxing; and discover how we can exercise
the direct path to that same cessation of suffering. We achieve this
cessation each time we Release an arising feeling, Relax and Re-Smile.
Notice the Relief!
As you practice the type of serenity meditation
described here on this page,
after you notice an unpleasant emotion, relax, and accept it in a
friendly way, when you shift your awareness from the unpleasant emotion
and direct it inwardly to the pleasant feeling of relaxation produced by
inhaling and exhaling gently and to the pleasant feelings of
happiness and good will produced by the smile
feedback loop, that shifting of awareness from unpleasant to pleasant
is the cessation of suffering. Observe it closely.
Learn to know it well. Become good at it.
A beginning student may think practicing meditation in a quiet room
will help him develop equanimity in turbulent circumstances. That is
true to a certain extent. And a it's fine for a beginner to
learn the basics in a comfortable situation. But eventually the
seedling has to come out of the greenhouse and be planted outdoors. The
advanced student realizes that cultivating relaxed, happy, contentment, during
turbulent, unpleasant circumstances is necessary to deepen equanimity.
You have to meet experiences of "I don't like this sensation" and "I
don't like this situation" and investigate the activity of the mind,
learn to release unnpleasant emotions, and cultivate relaxed, happy, contentment
amidst them to develop
deep equanimity. You don't have to seek out these experiences, life
brings them to you. You can start with small things like an itch that
occurs when you are trying to sit still during meditation or the feeling
of annoyance caused by something another person does. Reading the news
will give you plenty to work with. Life will bring you even more
exercises.
More here.
It also helps to deepen equanimity if you understand the difference between pain and suffering. Pain is
a physical sensation. Suffering is an emotional reaction.
When you experience unpleasant physical sensations, try to notice the
emotional reactions and release them.
Back to Serenity Meditation
Why this is Buddhist Meditation
In the Mahasaccaka Sutta, Majjhima Nikaya 36, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu at accesstoinsight.org Buddha says:
"I thought: 'I recall once, when my father the Sakyan was working, and I
was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, then - quite
secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful mental qualities - I
entered & remained in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from
seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. Could that be
the path to Awakening?' Then following on that memory came the
realization: 'That is the path to Awakening.' I thought: 'So why am I
afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing
to do with unskillful mental qualities?' I thought: 'I am no longer
afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing
to do with unskillful mental qualities, but that pleasure is not easy to
achieve with a body so extremely emaciated. Suppose I were to take some
solid food: some rice & porridge.' So I took some solid food: some rice
& porridge.
In the Satipatthana Sutta Buddha says that when meditating on the breath,
attention should be focused on the area around the mouth.
Satipatthana Sutta at dharmafarer.org
Mindfulness of the in-and-out-breath
...
Here, bhikshus, a monk who has gone to the forest, or to the foot of a tree, or to an empty abode, sits down, and having crossed his legs and keeping his body upright, establishes mindfulness fully before him.21
...
21 Parimukha?, lit "around the mouth."
The book Breathe! You
are Alive by Thich Nhat Hanh includes a translation of the Anapanasati Sutta including the following lines:
5. 'I am breathing in and feeling joyful. I am breathing out and feeling joyful.' That is how he practices.
6. 'I am breathing in and feeling happy. I am breathing out and feeling happy.' That is how he practices.
...
10. 'I am breathing in and making my mind happy and at peace. I am breathing out and making my mind happy and at peace.' That is how he practices.
When discussing how to put this into practice, Thich Nhat Hanh write:
... practice breathing with a half-smile. You will feel great joy.
This type of meditation helps you develop the four foundations of
mindfulness: mindfulness of body, sensations, mind, and objects of mind.
- While you
meditate, you are mindful of the body as you observe the breath and
relax.
- You are mindful of sensations as you:
- Notice the feeling of relaxation.
- Notice the feelings in the body that accompany unpleasant emotions
as you release them.
- Notice pleasant sensations produced by smiling.
- You are mindful of the mind as you:
- Try to calm the mind.
- Release negative thoughts and emotions that distract
you while meditating.
- You are mindful of objects of mind
as you try to understand distracting thoughts and emotions in terms
of the three characteristics.
When you experience happiness and love through this meditation, you may
see
through the illusions
projected by the mind.
Happiness eliminates desires. Love eliminates attachment to self.
In the absence of desire and attachment to self, the impermanence of things
will not cause trouble.
In the Tevijja Sutta Buddha teaches that cultivating the Brahma Viharas can lead to awakening. The
Brahma Viharas are four emotions: loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity. The meditation explained above cultivates these emotions.
When you see that you have the ability to be happy and
that existence can be pleasurable
without the need for anything outside yourself to cause it, you
naturally want to improve your ability and extend the experience. This
makes you sensitive to things that interfere with that pleasant state.
You naturally learn that attachments and aversions separate you from
this state so you naturally begin to let go of attachments and aversions.
In The Path of Concentration & Mindfulness Thanissaro Bhikkhu wrote:
Another advantage to this mindful, concentrated state is that as you
feel more and more at home in it, you begin to realize that it's
possible to have happiness and pleasure in life without depending on
things outside of yourself — people, relationships, approval from
others, or any of the issues that come from being part of the world.
This realization helps pry loose your attachments to things outside.
Some people are afraid of getting attached to a state of calm, but
actually, it's very important that you get attached here, so that you
begin to settle down and begin to undo your other attachments. Only
when this attachment to calm is the only one left do you begin work on
loosening it up as well.
...
You can see, say, where there's an element of attachment, where there's
an element of stress, or even where there's inconstancy within your
balanced state. This is where you begin to gain insight, as you see the
natural cleavage lines among the different factors of the mind, and in
particular, the cleavage line between awareness and the objects of
awareness.
Thanissaro Bhikkhu also wrote in A Guided Meditation:
Try to breathe as comfortably as possible. A very concrete way of learning how to provide for your own happiness in the immediate present - and at the same time, strengthening your alertness — is to let yourself breathe in a way that's comfortable. Experiment to see what kind of breathing feels best for the body right now. ... Learn to savor the sensation of the breathing. Generally speaking, the smoother the texture of the breath, the better. Think of the breath, not simply as the air coming in and out of the lungs, but as the entire energy flow that courses through the body with each in-and-out breath.
Insight can come
from observing many different aspects of experience. In this meditation, one observes the
breath, a mantra (counting), and feelings (relaxation, happiness, etc.).
These are also objects of
insight in other types of meditation. What is different about this type
of meditation is that it is a lot more pleasant than many other
techniques so you will naturally be drawn to practice it, and it will
improve the quality of your life along the way.
(If you are already practicing some type
of meditation,
you don't have to give that up, but you can make it closer to the
method of meditation taught by Buddha and make it a more positive
experience by observing the pleasant feeling
of relaxation while you meditate.)
The vast majority of people who experience
realization are monks and nuns. There are a few laypeople who
experience it but they usually meditate for hours a day and go on
frequent meditation retreats. It is very rare for the average meditator to
experience realization. Many of the schools that teach meditation are
teaching how to attain realization to people who will never experience
it, and they never warn their students about the dangers of meditation. But
meditation can still have benefits for the ordinary person and
the type of meditation described here is intended for the ordinary person.
For most people, spiritual development is more
important than realization. Most of us are here to have an
experience of a physical existence and we can do that better if we are
happy, loving, feel connected etc. This meditation should help
a person to live more in harmony with spiritual values.
This form of meditation integrates aspects of meditation
from several different traditions. I learned of diaphragmatic breathing from
Himalayan Yoga. Counting breaths is described in a number of books on
Zen Buddhist meditation. Smiling during meditation is advocated in
books by Thich Nhat Hanh. Observing the pleasant feeling of relaxation
as a way of implementing instructions
found in the Anapanasati Sutta, was something I discovered myself
(although it may be known to others as well). I haven't seen these components
put together in this way anywhere else but I find they work extremely well
when combined in this integrated approach.
Most forms of Buddhist meditation taught today such as
insight,
vipassana, the nana's, and
jhana,
are based on
teachings that came
after
the Buddha.
They are missing a key factor originally taught by the Buddha:
relaxation to prevent repression of negative thoughts and emotions,
which produce a deeper realization and are needed for true lasting Nibbana. The form of meditation described in
this article
includes relaxation in releasing negative thoughts and
emotions to prevent repression.
On the subject of
release,
see this link:
What are the 6 R's?
by Bhante Vimalaramsi,
and this quote
Thanissaro Bhikkhu:
One technique I like to use — when anger is present and you're in a
situation where you don't immediately have to react to people — is
simply to ask yourself in a good-natured way, "Okay, why are you angry?"
Listen to what the mind has to say. Then pursue the matter: "But why
are you angry at that? " "Of course, I'm angry. After all..." "Well,
why are you angry at that?" If you keep this up, the mind will
eventually admit to something stupid, like the assumption that people
shouldn't be that way — even though they blatantly are that way — or
that people should act in line with your standards, or whatever the mind
is so embarrassed about that it tries to hide from you. But finally, if
you keep probing, it'll fess up. You gain a lot of understanding of the
anger that way, and this can really weaken its power over you.
Back to Serenity Meditation
How it Works
Neuroplasticity
is a phenomenon of the brain in which brain functions
that are active recruit more neurons to participate in that function. As
you use a capacity of the brain, the brain rewires itself to improve
its ability to perform that function. There are several components to
this meditation that improve with practice and rewire the brain for happiness:
- Relaxing and observing the feeling of relaxation relieves stress and helps to release recently acquired negative emotions.
- Restraining the mind from wandering by focusing it on counting, relaxing, and pleasant feelings that
arise during meditation calms and quiets the mind which
reduces negative mental chatter. It also quiets analytical thinking
which allows empathic thinking to occur.
- The smile feedback loop produces dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins
which relax the body, lower the heart rate and blood pressure, relieve
pain, and elevate mood. The smile feedback loop also reduces levels of
the anxiety causing hormone cortisol.
- Negative thoughts and emotions about the past are
released
when they arise as distractions during meditation.
Networks in the Brain
Research has shown that because of the structure of the brain,
analytical thinking and empathic thinking are
mutually exclusive.
Humankind in general and Western society specifically owes much of its
prosperity
to analytical thinking but as a result we are out of balance as a
species. There is nothing wrong with analytical thinking (which is used
in problem solving), it is only a
problem when it is out of balance with empathic thinking (which is
used in social situation) because a lack
of empathic thinking results in callousness which is the cause of many
problems in the world today. We need to focus more on cultivating
empathic thinking. The type of meditation described here, as well as
insight meditation (see below), will help you develop empathic thinking.
It can have the effects of making you more sympathetic to other people
which is a spiritual virtue, but it can also make you more emotional and
it might cause you to experience psychic perceptions as well.
When you focus your attention on your breathing, you are abstaining from
analytical thinking and when you do that, the brain
shifts to empathic thinking.
When you focus your attention on a pleasant feeling
during meditation, you are exercising the part of your brain that
supports happiness and love and connectedness and you are reinforcing
neural pathways involved in empathic thinking. This type of meditation
is a fundamental spiritual practice.
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn is
Professor of Medicine Emeritus and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
In the transcript of a podcast on
bigthink.com,
he describes how meditation can quiet mental
chatter made up of anxious and depressed thoughts:
If you put people in a scanner and tell them to just do
nothing; just rest in the scanner; don’t do anything at all, it turns
out that there’s a region in the midline of the cerebral cortex that’s
known as the default mode network that just lights up, that all of a
sudden gets very, very active. I mean you’re told to do nothing and
then your brain starts to use up energy a lot. ... And that’s called
the default mode network because when you’re told to do nothing, you
default to activity in this mode and when you inquire what’s going on
there, a lot of it has to do with my wondering and just daydreaming.
And a lot of that has to do with the self-referencing our favorite
subject, which is me of course. So we generate narratives. ... it’s
also called the narrative mode network or the narrative network. And
it’s the story of me.
When you train people in MBSR, you find that
another area of their cortex lights up more lateral after eight weeks of
training in mindfulness. And that that area is associated with a region
called the insula and that doesn’t have a linear, time-based narrative.
It’s just the experiencing of the present moment in the body — breathing
in, breathing out, awake, no narrative, no agenda. And the interesting
thing — and this is the study — when they put people through eight weeks
of MBSR, this narrative network decreases in activity and this
experiential network increases in activity and they become uncoupled.
So they’re no longer caught together in such a way. So this one can
actually attenuate and liberate you a little bit from the constant
thinking, thinking, thinking — a lot which is driven, of course, by
anxiety and, "What’s wrong with me?" The story of me is often a
depressing story. And a fear-based story. We’re like driving the car
with the brake on, with the emergency brake on. And if we learn how to
just kind of release it, everything will unfold with less strain, with
less stress and with a greater sense of life unfolding rather than
you’re driving through it to get to some great pot of gold at the end,
which might just be your grave.
Dr. Kabat-Zinn also says the benefits of suppressing the narrative network and
stimulating the experiential network with meditation leads to wiser, more empathic and more compassionate thinking in an interview at:
psychcentral.com:
One pathway is a mid-line pathway, very akin to what is called a default
mode, that seems to be functioning when nothing else is supposed to be
happening — like being or mind wandering, or something like that, which
is what they call the narrative network for self. So like what you tell
yourself about who you are, where you’re going, how things are going,
how stressed you are, how great it’s going to be in the future, how
horrible it was in the past, or vice-versa, how wonderful it was in the
past, or how horrible it is in the present. So it is a narrative
ongoing story of me. And that occupies a certain kind of brain
territory.
They showed that people who are taking the MBSR program showed activity
in a whole other, more lateral ventral pathway in the cerebral cortex,
again in the prefrontal cortex, which was involved with what they called
experiential focus. It’s like no more story, just this. Just this
moment. Just this breath. Just this unfolding. And I want to
emphasize that it doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you are either
disassociating or that you’re going to get really, really stupid
practicing mindfulness because now you’re just in the present moment and
you don’t know what’s really happening and you’ve now gone beyond
thought. Not at all. I mean it’s much more an effective, wise and
emotionally intelligent way to make use of one’s thoughts and emotions,
but hold them in a much, much greater and more empathic, and in some
sense, more compassionate and wise container, and that container
embraces what I mean when I use the word mindful.
This says something interesting about the meditative state. In the
meditative state there is an absence of analytical thinking and an
absence of narrative thinking.
The meditation described here is different from some other types of
meditation in an important way. In many types of meditation, if you
notice a thought
distracting you from concentrating, you stop thinking the thought. That
represses thoughts and feelings.
But with this meditation you quiet the mind and dissolve negative emotions
through relaxation not repression.
When you do something with your mind, the neuronal
connections involved are reinforced. If you meditate on the pleasant feeling
of relaxation
you will train your mind to be relaxed and to produce pleasure while the old unpleasant pathways,
for example, those producing worry, or anger, will become unused and atrophy.
The phenomenon of reinforcing neural pathways when you use them is
called neuroplasticity. When produced by meditation, because it is caused
by mental intention, it is called self-directed neuroplasticity. Some
neuronal functions use quantum phenomena and it is believed by
some scientists
that self-directed neuroplasticity may be mediated by the quantum Zeno
effect in which observation prevents unstable quantum states from
decaying.
When you induce the pleasurable feeling by breathing gently or by a
thought, the pleasure centers of the brain turn on. Observing the
feeling continuously prevents it from fading away. Because of
neuroplasticity, meditating this way causes the brain to wire itself to
more readily produce feelings of pleasure. The result is spiritual:
increased feelings of happiness, love, and connectedness. This type of
meditation is also a form of insight meditation (see below) because you are
observing your breath, your counting, and your feelings.
Some people may question whether this form of meditation produces
genuine spiritual experiences or if it is just inducing certain brain
states. One must understand that the correlation between brain states and mental states does
not prove the brain produces mental states. It is much more likely that
the brain is a
filter of non-physical
consciousness.
Experiences such as
happiness,
unconditional love,
connectedness to all things,
and
an
awareness of God,
are experiences of aspects of our true
nature.
This meditation technique is a way of learning to control the filter,
the brain, in order to allow these aspects of our
true nature into our awareness.
We are born without an operating guide for the brain. Most people let
their brain and the events around them determine their mood. But you
don't have to live that way. You can train your brain to be happy.
The result is a more spiritual less callous way of life.
Back to Serenity Meditation
Some Comments on Meditation in General
Some people feel that because they have trouble concentrating, they
can't meditate, or they aren't any good at it. In this situation, it
may help them to change their understanding of what meditation is. It
can be better to think of meditation not as an exercise where you hold
the mind still, but as an exercise where the mind is given a chance to
become still. Like a wild horse put in a pen, when you start a
meditation session, the mind may run around and around in circles. But
just as the horse will eventually calm down and stop running, so will
the mind eventually slow down and become calm if you sit quietly and
persist in meditation. The more turbulent your mind is, the longer it
will take to calm down. (When the mind is very turbulent, it may help to
combine meditation with relaxation
exercises.)
In this view, a meditation session is a process of letting out and
letting go which leads to a calmer and more relaxed state of being at
the end of the session. As you concentrate, you make the effort to let
go of thoughts and emotions by thinking of the object of the meditation
to displace other thoughts from your mind. As you do
this, you know that letting go is not the only important thing you are
doing during meditation. When you notice you are distracted by a
thought or emotion you also understand that this distraction is part of
another important process - letting out. There is no need to feel any
regret or annoyance that you have lost concentration. When you notice
you have become distracted, you understand that these thoughts and
emotions that arise are an equal part of meditation. Their arising is
part of the process of letting out. After each distraction, the mind is
a tiny bit calmer. It may help to think of it as if there are a finite
number of times you will lose concentration before the mind becomes calm
and you have to experience each of those distractions to get to the
final state of being calm and relaxed. When the mind is very turbulent,
distractions will come fast and furious. No matter. Just keep going
back to concentration knowing that this is the natural way a turbulent
mind becomes calm, and if you are patient and persistent you will find
peace through this process of letting out and letting go.
(Also see, Why is it so hard to concentrate? Sources of distraction and obstacles to concentration during meditation.)
Each person must find the right balance between letting out and letting
go for himself. Too much letting out might cause you to develop the habit of
dwelling in unpleasant emotions. Too much letting go might cause you to
suppress thoughts and emotions and feel tense instead of relaxed.
While you meditate, as you notice distractions and go back to focusing
the mind, there may be a tendency to suppress the intruding thoughts and
feelings. This may lead to developing a habit of suppressing thoughts
and emotions during other times. The way to avoid this pitfall is when
you notice a distraction in meditation, if you find you are also
experiencing an emotion, take a moment to notice the sensations of the
emotion in your body and note to yourself what the thought that caused
that emotion was. As you bring your mind back to the focus of
meditation, you may also allow your awareness to linger on the
sensations in your body that accompanied the emotion.
This is explained in greater detail in the section below on Insight Meditation.
Back to Serenity Meditation
Top
Releasing Unpleasant Thoughts, Emotions and Impulses
(Note: If you are doing the
Serenity Meditation
described above, when you notice you have become distracted by an
unpleasant thought or emotion, take a second or two to be conscious of
the thought or emotion, and notice any feelings in your body that
accompany it. Are they like tension? Can you relax them? Try to
accept the feelings in a relaxed, peaceful, friendly way. Maybe say to
yourself something like, "That's all right."
As you meditate, while you notice the feeling of relaxation as you
exhale, try to also notice the unpleasant feeling at the same time. If
noticing these together helps to diminish the unpleasant feeling,
continue to diminish it in this way.
In any case, relax and try
to return to the blissful state produced by the smile feedback loop.
More below...)
Releasing Unpleasant Thoughts, Emotions and Impulses
This section explains how to release unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and impulses
without suppressing them.
Sometimes the instructions will mention unpleasant emotions but might
not refer to unpleasant thoughts or impulses.
In these cases, it should be understood that unpleasant
thoughts are released by releasing the unpleasant emotions that accompany
them,
and impulses
are released the same way unpleasant emotions are released. For example,
if a memory of an unpleasant situation in the past arises,
the way to release it is to release the unpleasant emotions that accompany
the memory. If an impulse such as impatience arises,
it should be released in the same way an unpleasant emotion is released.
In some cases a person will experience emotions due to a
biochemical disorder such as some forms of depression and anxiety, and in
those cases releasing might not ease the emotion.
However disorders like anxiety and depression can result in secondary
emotions and releasing can help with those.
Simplified Instructions:
Unpleasant thoughts and emotions are those that make you feel
uncomfortable and which you have the impulse to push away or don't want to
think about. They could be memories from the past, worries about the
future, or unpleasant situations in the present. One way to handle
unpleasant thoughts and emotions is to allow oneself to experience them
for a few seconds, don't fight them, relax into them, and observe any physical
sensations in the body, such
as tension, that accompany the thought or emotion. Any tension
accompanying the emotion should be relaxed. Try to find the middle
ground to avoid either 1) pushing them away (suppressing them) to
maintain concentration on the focus of meditation and 2) following them
up with more thoughts and getting lost in thought rather than
meditating.
If you want to take time to think through your emotions, do that separately from
your meditation session. Try to find the right balance between letting out and letting go. Too
much letting out can cause you to train yourself to feel unpleasant emotions. Too much
letting go can result in suppression. Try to find the right balance to avoid either extreme.
One can also try
to get to the root of the problem. Usually the surface memory
is covering something deeper. Like you remember someone you don't like,
but not why you don't like them. Try to dig a bit. There might be
several levels to go through to reach the root.
Try to keep this
within limits, don't get lost in thought.
One should also try to relax any tension that accompanies the emotions.
It might be helpful to understand the difference between suppressing
and releasing an unpleasant emotion. With suppression, you don't let
yourself think about it
and usually the person will become tense as part of the process of
"pushing away" the emotion. In releasing, you don't resist it, you
try to react to it in a pleasant, relaxed, friendly, accepting way.
You
allow yourself, even force yourself, to think about it even though it
is unpleasant. You can even probe deeper for a moment or two. And you
relax any tension experienced during and after doing all this. Modern psychologists call this
desensitization. After a few moments you go back to meditating, you
don't dwell on it.
Correct releasing involves finding the right balance between letting out and letting go. Letting out involves thinking the unpleasant thought and observing the unpleasant emotion and the physical sensations in the body associated with it. Letting go involves concentrating on the focus of meditation and trying to relax the mind and body. Each person has to find the right balance. By spending too much time thinking about unpleasant thoughts you may train yourself to be unhappy. By concentrating too hard you may suppress unpleasant thoughts and become tense and irritable. There are no hard and fast rules, but if an unpleasant thought or emotion arises spontaneously it is usually wise to spend at least a few moments acknowledging it and observing it in the mind and body before returning to relaxed concentration in meditation.
Detailed Instructions:
- Notice when an unpleasant emotion arises. Be aware of the situation that
triggered the emotion but identify the emotion as the problem not the situation that triggered it. (You can work on dealing with the situation later if you want to, but this process, releasing, is about releasing unpleasant emotions.)
- Welcome the emotion in a relaxed, peaceful. friendly way. For example if you are angry, you could say to yourself, "Oh, that's Anger. Anger is allowed."
Unpleasant emotions feed off themselves, you become unhappy because you are unhappy. It's like a feedback loop. Welcoming the unpleasant emotion
doesn't mean you are allowing yourself to act on it, welcoming it is only intended to
help break the feedback loop.
- Recognize that the emotion came upon you unasked, you observe it, it is outside you, it is not yours, it is not self. You could say to yourself, "I observe it, it's outside me, like an illusion." Most people think of themselves as their mind: thoughts, emotions, and impulses. But these come upon us unasked, we only observe them. Recognizing this helps us to understand unpleasant emotions are more like dreams (illusions) than reality. They are things that come and go from outside us, they are not part of us. Understanding this helps to reduce the power unpleasant emotions have over us because we don't take them so seriously when we think of them that way.
- Recognize that the unpleasant emotion is based on liking and disliking and therefore arises out of misguided egoistic
thinking.
You could say to yourself, continuing the example from the previous
step, "This anger is caused by ego, ego doesn't like ..."
All unpleasant emotions have at their root either liking something or disliking something.
But there must be some entity, an "I" that can like or dislike.
If there is no thought of any entity, no thought of self, there can be no liking or disliking.
When you cease egoistic thinking, you cease experiencing unpleasant emotions.
- Observe any sensations in your body that accompany the emotion. If you feel any tension try to relax it.
Review your whole body, your head, neck, chest, abdomen, back, arms, hands, legs, and feet
for tension. You can go into more detail if you want, examining the lips, tongue, jaw, throat, brow, eyelids, cheeks, fingers, toes, upper arm, forearm, wrist, thighs, knees, shins, calfs, etc. Stress or emotions can affect the body in many ways, It
can affect our
facial expression, posture, depth and rate of breathing, tone of voice, and in other
ways, for example, sometimes we might make a fist when angry. These effects
may be habitual and we may not be aware of them so it is useful to review
the whole body looking for tension.
When the emotion is not very strong, you my be able to dismiss the emotion just by relaxing. When the emotion is strong, it can be a bit harder and may require many repeated experiences of arising and releasing before the unpleasant emotion is fully released.
If you find it hard to relax, experiment
with different patterns of breathing.
Try inhaling deeply, hold it a moment, then relax the diaphragm
and chest and exhale all at once like a sigh. Notice how relaxing that
feels. You can also try breathing more slowly, and or just
exhaling more slowly.
Sometimes breathing lightly will be more relaxing.
Try to find the way of breathing that is most relaxing.
Be aware that the most relaxing way to breathe may change over time.
Focus your attention on the pleasant feeling of relaxation throughout
your whole body as you exhale. Notice that your whole body relaxes when
you do this. The point is not to huff and puff just to blow air in and
out. The point is to produce a feeling of relaxation and focus your
attention on it.
If you feel dizzy or faint (from hyperventilating) or if you begin to feel more relaxed, go back to breathing less deeply.
Practicing this way with emotions that are hard to
release will, over time, give you the ability to be relaxed in more and
more difficult situations.
- Withdraw your attention from the unpleasant emotion without suppressing it. Refocus your attention on a pleasant feeling, like the pleasant feeling of relaxation produced by inhaling and exhaling in a relaxed way, and the pleasant emotions produced by meditation. This will replace any unpleasant feedback loop with a pleasant feedback loop.
Try to understand unpleasant thoughts and emotions in terms of
the three characteristics:
unsatisfactoriness, impermanence, and not-self.
- Most people would consider the self to consist of their body and
mind (thoughts, emotions, and impulses). But if you have an unpleasant
(unsatisfactory) thought or emotion that you can't let go of, it is
something you don't control, something you didn't ask for, it is
not-self.
Often unpleasant emotions feed off themselves. When you are upset,
usually you don't want to be so it makes you upset to be upset - it's
like a feedback loop. But if you can accept your emotions in
a pleasant friendly way, it can interrupt
the feedback loop because you stop adding to the unpleasant feelings.
When you realize an unpleasant emotion is not yours,
you don't control it, you didn't ask for it, it came from
who-knows-where, it helps you to accept the emotion and breaks the
feedback loop.
It begins to fade and it is much easier to let go of.
- When you experience a pleasant thought, sensation, or emotion, enjoy it, but
remember not to be attached to it or you will feel regret (unsatisfactoriness) when it passes (impermanence).
Try to forgive others you may be upset with. Try to forgive
yourself if you acted in a less than optimal way. No one is infallible.
Forgiveness does not mean you trust someone who is untrustworthy, or you
allow someone to freely harm others. Forgiveness means you let go of
the negative emotions that can poison the quality of your existence.
Try to understand why someone would do what they did. If you can
remember when you made a mistake it can help you understand why someone
else might be making a similar mistake. How did they learn to be the
way they are? Were they victimized in their past?
If you find it difficult to forgive,
try to dig deeper and look for the root of the reason you are upset.
When you are able to
forgive, you will see that it can liberate you from all sorts of unpleasant
feelings: anger, hate, fear etc. It can make you feel happy and free.
This little saying can help you to remember to try to forgive: "Forgive
yourself, forgive the others, and be free." You can use this when
releasing a negative thought or emotion during meditation, or any time
you want.
The following is repeated from the
Detailed Instructions
in the section on
Serenity Meditation
above.
It can be very helpful to notice when something upsets you and causes
you to transition from the pleasant relaxed state of mind produced by
meditation to an unpleasant upset state. If you investigate this
phenomenon diligently, you may see that being upset is not really useful
or necessary but for some reason the mind overreacts or reacts habitually.
It is like a
delusion. The mind creates the delusion. If you develop the
habit of noticing this phenomena or reviewing it mentally, you may see
that you have the ability to refrain from entering into the delusion by
releasing
the unpleasant thought or feeling and using the skills you developed during meditation to return to the
pleasant relaxed state.
In addition, meditation quiets the mind and when the thought processes are slowed down, it is easier to see what is happening when the mind reacts habitually or automatically.
This is not an intellectual process nor is it
an act of repressing a thought or emotion. It is more like developing a
skill than using knowledge. It is more like desensitization (where you
learn to think of something unpleasant while relaxing and without
reacting emotionally) than it is like repression. It results in knowing
intuitively from repeated observations of experiences that the emotional
upset is a pointless charade, a delusion, and knowing how to refrain from
entering it. This doesn't turn you into an emotionless zombie, it gives
you the power to act with wisdom and love rather than anger and fear.
I explained how to do this on reddit in approximately these words:
Sometimes if you can get into a relaxed state either through meditation
or relaxation exercises you can see that an unpleasant emotion like
anxiety manifests as tension. If you relax the tension the emotion goes
away. But it can come back as soon as you stop relaxing so you have to
practice this.
You can practice it by doing relaxation exercises or meditation to get
very calm and relaxed and then think of whatever is making you anxious.
Look for any feeling of tension and then relax it. Repeat this process.
This is very similar to a psychological technique called
desensitization.
But it can be a little bit subtle. I tried desensitization and it never
worked. I thought I had to just relax in a general way. But through
meditation I was able to notice the feelings of tension and I could see
that that was a very specific thing I needed to relax, and that made the
difference.
Also, it might feel a little bit like you are just repressing the
emotion because you are taking an action, making an
effort to relax, to make it go away.
But as you allow the thought or emotion to arise, try not to do anything that
would make it stop, try to let it exist unhindered. It will fade
anyway but if you can allow it to express itself unhindered you are
moving your awareness closer to the source, the origination of
unpleasantness where you will be better able to understand and deal
with it.
This is not repressing.
You are not relaxing a thought or an emotion, you are relaxing tension
while thinking about the thought. Repression involves forcibly not
thinking about something and tensing not relaxing.
It might sound confusing "making an effort to relax". Relax usually
means you make no effort. But if you are tensing automatically then it
takes continuing attention and effort to maintain relaxation.
If you've ever woken up from sleep and felt fine and then a moment later
remembered there is something worrying you and you no longer feel fine
... that is sort of like how this works. You need to get very relaxed
through meditation or relaxation exercises to see the tension.
If you have difficulty relaxing the tension produced by an emotion, you
might be able use relaxation exercises (or natural drowsiness
when falling asleep)
to get to a deeply relaxed state where you don't feel the emotion.
Then as you come out of that state, watch
the sensations that arise in your body as the emotion returns. From
observing this repeatedly you may be able to learn how to let go
of the emotion by relaxing the tension by which the emotion manifests.
Importantly, you don't have to
get into some deep mystical state only accessible by meditating for
hours every day over a period of years. You just have to be naturally
relaxed and know what to look for.
But even if you can see the tension,
it can be hard to relax it.
Meditation that makes you feel
pleasant emotions can help you to relax the tension
because it helps to weaken the grip of unpleasant emotions and improves
your ability to relax. Meditation also slows down the activity
of the mind so you can see emotions arising more clearly than when
the mind is racing along on automatic pilot.
For those interested in Buddhism, this technique is based on
dependent
origination, stopping the sequence of cause and effect at step 8/9 in
which craving manifests as tension and causes clinging.
The terminology is a little bit obscure because it is somewhat abstract
and translated from an ancient language. But you cling to an object by
grasping it tightly (tensely) in your hand and you let go of it by
relaxing your hand. You cling emotionally with a different kind of
tension but you let go of the emotion also by relaxing tension.
Techniques that produce the Brahma Viharas (the Four Supreme Emotions:
loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity) can be very
helpful in helping you to relax clinging. The
serenity meditation
described above is one such technique. The Brahma Viharas
make it easier to relax clinging because when you are happy you don't
want anything, when you love you don't distinguish between yourself and
other people, when you have compassion it is easier to forgive, when you
have equanimity you do not experience unpleasant emotions as strongly.
If you want to work on one particular unpleasant thought or emotion
you can try the
following technique: You need to be in a fairly calm and relaxed state
to do this.
Sit quietly and meditate. (Relax as you inhale and relax as you exhale.
If relaxing makes you feel like smiling, go ahead and smile.) Notice
that you are feeling calm and relaxed. Then think of something that
might upset you. Notice that the thought causes the unpleasant emotion.
Try to
notice the very first faint twinge of the emotion as it arises. Usually it
feels like a bit of tension in your body.
When you notice the first twinge of the emotion,
relax as you exhale, stop thinking about what might upset you, return to
just meditating, and
notice that the emotion goes away and you feel calm and relaxed again.
(If the emotion is so strong that it does not go away, continue meditating,
relax as you inhale and relax as you exhale as you count the breath,
and imagine or expect that relaxation and concentration will dissolve
the emotion.
Meditation is like a knife that cuts through delusion.)
Maintain the relaxed state for several breaths.
Repeat this over and over until you get a very clear sense that you
are controlling the emotion, you are starting it and stopping it.
If you practice this way
over several sessions, you will learn how to relax the tension, and you
will be able to stop the emotion whenever it arises simply by relaxing
the tension as you exhale. You can test your progress by trying to
think of the thing that might upset you without experiencing the emotion.
This will also ensure that you are not repressing the thought or emotion.
If you release a negative thought or emotion, the thought might not
come back or might
not come back as often or as intensely. But if you just push it away it
will keep coming back over and over. In fact, it is possible to develop
the habit of repressing negative thoughts and feelings from meditating
incorrectly. But if you do this right, you can clear out a lot of
psychological baggage and in the long run you feel a lot better and you
can concentrate much better during meditation because these thoughts
stop recurring. And you have to do it while relaxing, any tension or
tightness can indicate you are repressing a thought or feeling.
Serenity meditation
is very relaxing and should not cause repression.
However, you also have to be careful not to over do this because if you are
constantly thinking of unpleasant things, you can train yourself
to be unhappy. If you find a lot of unpleasant thoughts and
emotions are coming out and it is more than you care to do all at once,
you might decide to release some of them at
a latter date. Each person has to find the right balance
between letting out emotions and letting go of them. Serenity meditation
is recommended because it produces positive emotions which
can counteract any unpleasant thoughts and feeling that might arise during meditation.
You can attain realization by brute force concentration and still be a
very messed up person. But I think the kind of emotional healing that
comes from releasing negative thoughts and emotions is much more
important than realization, so while concentration is necessary, I don't
stress highly intense concentration during meditation. When you
clear out the baggage, the mind quiets naturally.
For another, somewhat similar system of releasing unpleasant thoughts
and emotions, see Bhante Vimalaramsi's The 6 R's.
Top
Meditation Is Not A Panacea
Many people are attracted to meditation because they hope it will help them cope with stress or
calm mood swings. However, if they are suffering from an organic
metabolic imbalance, neither meditation, nor other mental approaches
such as cognitive therapy or self analysis may be the best solution.
For example:
- Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can cause anxiety and/or depression. Sugar is
the body's source of energy. If there isn't enough sugar in the blood,
the brain may not get enough energy and the body may react by producing
stress hormones which then causes the body to release sugar into the
blood. These stress hormones produce the symptoms we call anxiety.
Another symptom of hypoglycemia is caused when the brain does not get
enough energy and is unable to produce sufficient quantities of
neurotransmitters. In this case depression may result.
No amount of meditation or any other mental exercise will cure such an
underlying metabolic imbalance. Trying relaxation exercises to relieve
anxiety will not supply the brain with more energy. (You might
temporarily reduce the brain's need for energy and reduce the feelings
of anxiety by entering a deeply relaxed state through relaxation
exercises, but this is not really a solution because you can't function
in daily life in a state where you are half asleep.) Trying positive
thinking to relieve depression will not give the brain energy to produce
neurotransmitters. Engaging in cognitive therapy or self analysis may
result in a remarkably well adjusted person who still has anxiety and or
depression. In the case of hypoglycemia, the best solution to anxiety or depression may be to
try changing one's diet to avoid over indulging in refined sugar and refined
carbohydrates (white bread, white rice) as well as avoiding caffeine,
tobacco and alcohol and eating nutritionally balanced snacks to keep
blood sugar level stable. This is explained in more detail at
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au.
-
Stress hormone levels are highest in the morning. This makes sense
since we don't eat while sleeping at night and blood sugar levels can
get low. Exercise increases blood sugar levels. Exercising a little,
just enough to get you breathing faster and your heart beating faster,
first thing in the morning, and then eating a balanced breakfast can
have a calming effect that lasts for many hours.
-
Magnesium deficiency can also cause anxiety. Two foods that are a good
source of magnesium are peanuts and sunflower seeds.
The
effects of diet on moods
are numerous. If you are attracted to
meditation for it's calming effects, you may also find it helpful to do
further research on the effect of diet on moods and emotions. Each
person is unique and you may have to experiment to find what works best
for you.
The effect of diet and metabolism on moods and emotions has consequences
for meditators and those interested in spiritual development. If one's
nerves are on a hair trigger because of high levels of stress hormones,
then any minor thing that might upset one can cause a stress reaction.
One consequence of a stress reaction is that the mind can become fixated
on the thing causing the stress reaction. (This fixation can result in
symptoms such as obsessive compulsive disorder, misophonia (dislike of
certain sounds), and phobias.) If you are trying to meditate but your
mind is fixated on something that has caused a stress reaction, you may
find it hard to concentrate correctly on the meditation and you may feel
that meditation is too difficult. Also, if one is subject to strong
emotions of anxiety or depression, those emotions can make meditation
more difficult. In meditation one tries to reduce the influence of the
ego by letting go of attachments and aversions. If those attachments
and aversions are the result of this type of metabolism induced anxiety,
depression, or fixation one may become easily confused and think they
are being selfish or self centered and unable to let go and spiritually
immature when in fact they are simply affected by their metabolism.
Understanding why one is having a difficulty like this may help one work
through it.
Meditation, as well as relaxation exercises, self analysis, cognitive
therapy, and positive thinking have many benefits and may help one cope
with symptoms of organic disorders causing anxiety, fixation, and
depression, but you should understand mental approaches have their
limits and realize meditation is not a cure-all as you read the rest of
this chapter and especially the sections on "Insight Meditation",
"Kundalini" and "Three Ways To Reduce The Ego". Furthermore, meditation
will be easier and more effective if this type of organic mood disorder
is under control.
Another good meditation technique is to repeat inwardly (not aloud) the following
mantra in time with the rhythm of the breath. This form of
meditation is helpful because the mantra helps you to remember what you
should be doing during the meditation. Breathe from the diaphragm as explained above and say the mantra in time with each
inhalation / exhalation:
Sitting / still
Body / relaxed
Breathing / naturally
Mind / calm
Sitting still is helpful because movement tends to reduce the depth of
relaxation that you can attain. Being completely still is necessary in
some forms of meditation, such as meditations that help you to learn to
be detached from physical sensations and discomfort or some meditations
that induce altered
states of consciousness. However if you force yourself to remain completely still and you are in an uncomfortable posture, you may injure your body.
So, for the purposes here, it is not necessary to be too strict
about being completely still. If you feel like fidgeting or scratching
an itch go ahead, just understand it is better to be still and avoid
unnecessary movement.
Concen- / trating
Calms / the mind
Distractions / are fine
Don't dwell / on them
This mantra helps to remind you how to balance letting out and letting
go. Concentration helps to calm the mind. When distractions arise they
are not a problem. They can be beneficial in that the my be thoughts
that need to arise from the subconscious into the conscious to help you
learn from the past or deal with emotional issues. However too much
focus on negative thoughts and feelings can be counterproductive (this
is discussed further in the section on
Insight Meditation)
so once you become aware of the distracting thought, don't dwell on it
but go back to focusing your attention on the mantra.
Letting go / of thinking
Relaxing mind / and body
Practicing / peace
This mantra is another how to mantra. It reminds you of what to do
during the meditation session. It can be used during sitting
meditation, relaxing while lying down, or as mindfulness practice during
daily activities such as cleaning the home or taking a walk.
-
"Letting go of thinking"
means that for the time you are meditating, you take break from
worrying, planning or other types of thinking. Let your mind be
entirely filled with and focused on the mantra to give it a rest from
the other types of habitual mental activity. Notice how pleasant it is
not to be worrying about the past or future.
-
"Relaxing mind"
means that if your mind is filled with an emotion, attitude, opinion, or
pose, like hurriedness, annoyance, aversion, attachment, impatience,
anger, sadness, anxiety, superiority, inferiority, pride, shame, or
frustration, try to just drop it for the time you are meditating.
Examine your state of mind. Is it neutral? These mental states can be
so habitual that we don't even notice them or they can sneak up on us
again after we dispel them, so look carefully. Let your mind be
neutral. Notice how pleasant that is.
If you find it difficult to let go of a state of mind, try to think of
something that will fill you with pleasant feelings. You might imagine
you have something you want. It's okay if it is something materialistic
like a lot of money, or a nice house, or a special relationship with
another person. It could be a memory of a time you felt good, maybe
when you were with a cherished pet. It could be anything that happened
that made you feel good. When you think a pleasant thought, notice how
you feel.
(See the section on
Visualizing a Pleasant Situation
in the chapter on
Relaxation
for more information on how to do this.)
-
"and body"
If you are sitting or lying down, relaxing the body may
mean you let yourself go as if you were going to sleep. Notice if you
are physically tense. Try to relax your muscles. If you are moving,
try to move in a relaxed manner rather than with jerky or hurried movements. Notice how pleasant it is to be relaxed.
-
"Practicing peace" means that you are trying, for a short time, to
cultivate inner peace, or peace of mind. You can do this for a short
time just by letting go of every-day worries and cares and annoyances
and relaxing as if you were drifting off to sleep. Notice how peaceful
you feel when you do this.
With practice, you will find that you can hold this attitude of peace
for a longer and longer time and through more and more stressful
situations.
This meditation can be especially helpful when used in combination with
self healing
meditation.
The Benefits of Concentration Meditation
The benefits of this type of meditation include, calming the mind,
helping you to understand the nature of the mind because it can be
understood better when it is calm and you can see what is happening.
You gain understanding of the temporary nature of thoughts and emotions
and other sensations which helps you to have more equanimity since you
understand that ultimately thoughts and emotions are not reality they
change and cannot be trusted. Observing the thoughts that arise to
distract you is also useful since that helps you to understand what is
bubbling up from your subconscious. Concentration in meditation
interrupts the habitual patterns of the mind, of thought, tension,
attitudes, poses, and negativity. The more these are interrupted the
more their hold on you is weakened giving you the freedom to throw off
unconscious ingrained habits, and to choose consciously how to use your
mind.
Using meditation to calm the mind can
help you live according to spiritual values
because meditation allows you to be relaxed and peaceful more of the time
and you can more easily be loving, forgiving, tolerant etc.
Meditation also
helps you develop the habit of keeping the mind
calm and focused and the body relaxed during daily activities.
Another benefit of meditation is that when the mind is
calmed by meditation, the practitioner will see from their own experience
that selfishness and negative attitudes, attachments and aversion are
undesirable and unpleasant. It helps the practitioner to become more
aware of these undesirable qualities and allows them to notice those
qualities when they arise. Because of this learning experience that
comes from calming the mind with meditation, the practitioner naturally
begins to change of his own volition and these undesirable qualities
begin to diminish. Meditation is like a microscope used to identify an
infection, not like a tranquilizer use to medicate away undesired
psychological traits.
One of the important consequences of this type of meditation is that
it reduces the strength and force of your ego. When you see how
ephemeral the mind is, how flimsy are the attachments we hold on to so
strongly, it makes you less selfish, less self-centered.
This is important because when selfishness is eliminated, love is
what remains. This type of love is not selfish like romantic love, it
is not controlling like parental love, it is not ambitious like the love
of those trying to solve the great problems of the world.
It is a very simple type of love for other people. For example when
you are on the highway and you see someone driving wildly, you wish for
that person that they could have the same peace that you do and you
remember how unpleasant it was when you were in a similar state of mind,
rushing somewhere, feeling out of touch and at odds with other people.
At the grocery store you see the other shoppers and hope they have a
good dinner with their families and enjoy a pleasant evening. When you
are in a crowd you see each person and realize each one is unique and
has a unique experience in their life. All this diversity interests you
and you want to understand and appreciate each person, their ideas,
their values their difficulties and their successes.
When you notice the blessings in your life you are moved to
sincerely pray that others may have similar blessings because the
thought of others doing without causes you fear and anguish.
This is one of the most important aspects of spiritual development.
It is seeing others through the eyes of God, a loving father. You start
by looking at the activity of your own mind but you end up moving closer
to God.
Top
The Three Characteristics
Three characteristics of all things are: unsatisfactoriness,
impermanence, and not-self. Failure to understand these characteristics
can cause one a lot of unhappiness. When you are distracted by
unpleasant thoughts or emotions while meditating, you can look for
these three characteristics in the situation the thought or emotion
pertains to. Understanding these characteristics in relation to your
own experiences will help you develop a deep understanding of how they
cause problems and make it easier for you to eliminate those problems.
In certain forms of insight meditation, one looks for the three
characteristics in every experience one has from moment to moment.
More information on that can be found at
Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, an Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book
by Daniel Ingram.
The Three Basic Facts of Existence
at accesstoinsight.org says:
To "see things as they really are" means seeing them consistently in the light of the three characteristics. Ignorance of these three, or self-deception about them, is by itself a potent cause for suffering — by knitting, as it were, the net of false hopes, of unrealistic and harmful desires, of false ideologies, false values and aims of life, in which man is caught. Ignoring or distorting these three basic facts can only lead to frustration, disappointment, and despair.
The three characteristics overlap so that a deep understanding
of any two is said to be sufficient to bring about awakening:
- Unsatisfactoriness: Attachments and aversions make you unhappy. You want something you don't have or you don't like something you do have.
If you can clearly see how attachments and aversions make you unhappy,
it will make it easier to let go of them and that will eliminate
a lot of unhappiness in your life.
- Unsatisfactoriness + Impermanence: Once you get something you soon want something else. Or, you do something you want to do but when it's over you feel loss. Plants, animals, people, are subject to death.
- Impermanence All things are impermanent. Attachment to impermanent
things causes unhappiness.
If you can clearly see that attachments to impermanent things make you
unhappy, it will make it easier to let go of them and that will eliminate
a lot of unhappiness in your life.
- Impermanence + Not-self: You yourself are subject to death. Thoughts, emotions, impulses arise from nowhere and fade.
- Not-self: Thoughts, emotions, impulses are perceived, they
are not-self. Even the sense of self, once it is observed is no longer
self anymore, it is a perceived thing, it is not self. Attachments to
this illusory self make you unhappy: you might want more status, you
might want to control phenomenon beyond your control. You might be
attached to your ideas, or being right, or winning etc. If you can
clearly see that attachments to self (ego) make you unhappy, it will
make it easier to let go of those attachments and that will eliminate a
lot of unhappiness in your life.
When asked if there is a self, Buddha was silent. He didn't say there is a self
and he didn't say there is no self.
What he did say was that anything you might identify is not yourself and
therefore not worthy of emotional attachment: the body, the organs,
beliefs, thoughts, mind, sensations, perceptions, emotions, the soul, the cosmos etc.
etc. and he goes through and explains why viewing all these things as not
self is logical and useful. His intention is to show his students that there is nothing
worthy of being attached to. He wanted to help them let go of
attachments.
During meditation, some people have a direct realization of the truth of
this, it is one of the stages of awakening.
When someone realizes oneness, she feels a connectedness to all
things. It produces compassion. After she realizes not-self, an
understanding of connectedness of all things remains, and so the
compassion remains. In fact, the connectedness and compassion, if
anything, increases because then there is nothing that is considered
self for even the tiniest infinitesimal of selfishness to grow out of.
The realization of oneness, while not taught by The Buddha, is
sometimes an intermediate step to the
realization of not-self. In realizing oneness, the experiencer
understands that the distinction between self and other is artificial.
He interprets this as "I am everything". As understanding evolves and
realization of not-self occurs, he understands there is no distinction
between self and other because if everything is not-self, there can be
no "other".
- Not-self + Unsatisfactoriness: If you don't get what you
want, you may feel incompetent, inferior, or like a loser. But as seen
above, self is like an illusion in a hall of mirrors. Attachment to
this illusion leads to unhappiness. Let go of attachments to body,
status, winning, being right, success, etc. etc. they are founded on
illusion. This doesn't mean you should give up your ambitions. It
means you should pursue them in a detached manner.
It is very easy to look for the three characteristics in your thoughts
and emotions. When you notice an unpleasant thought or emotion ask
yourself, "Is this caused by desire, ego, and/or impermanence?"
Top
Insight Meditation
Insight meditation involves closely observing some aspect of the experience of
existence in order to see through the illusions produced by the mind.
The form of insight meditation described here involves observing
emotions. This meditation will also help you to
improve your awareness and understanding of emotions. To do this
type of meditation, all you have to do is
observe the physical sensations in your body that accompany emotions.
This is similar to what cognitive therapists call "defusion". This
awareness helps to change your experience of emotions from a "reality"
to just another temporary sensation. It also helps you to see how your
thoughts create your emotions. If observing emotions is done
during a relaxing form of meditation such as
serenity meditation
it might also help you to become desensitized to thoughts
that produce anxiety. Desensitization is another technique used in cognitive therapy.
With each emotional state be on the lookout for its characteristic:
Thought patterns.
Sensations in the body.
Effects on posture and facial expressions.
Muscle tension.
Effects on breathing and tension in the abdomen and chest.
Tone of voice and manner of speaking.
When you learn to recognize emotions by their own characteristics, you learn they are temporary and you stop believing in them, they have less effect on you and on your experience of reality. It causes you to be less focused on yourself and thus less self-centered. When you understand yourself better, you become more tolerant of others.
Just be aware that you may find a lot of hidden emotions this way so go slow if you need to.
When you learn to be more aware of your emotions in meditation, you
will also find that you are more aware of them in daily life. You will
see more clearly when they arise and what the cause is, so you can deal
with them sooner and they will have less impact on other situations.
As you become more aware of your emotions, you will see that they
are impermanent, constantly changing, they lack any strong foundation in
reality, they are subjective, illusion. However, if you believe you
cannot control your emotions you will probably be correct because you
will not try or you will give up too easily. On the other hand, if you
believe you can control your emotions, you may discover you have some
ability to do so. Learning to control emotions is part of the normal
maturation process that all people go through as they pass out of
infancy. Yet little children do not worry the same way adults worry,
they do not get annoyed at the same things adults get annoyed at. This
indicates that many negative attitudes and mental patterns are learned.
They are not much different from other aspects of personality, like
posture, facial expressions, and tone of voice, that are also learned.
If emotional reactions are learned, it must be true that they can
be unlearned and that different and better ways of reacting and thinking
can be learned in their place.
At this point you may ask, "Should I let my myself experience my
emotions and in that way release them and let them out? Or, would
that just reinforce a negative habit? Should I try to let go of
emotions - just drop the train of thought? Or would that be
suppressing them?"
Control means the ability to start and stop something at will.
Therefore at times you will find it appropriate to release emotions by
allowing them to express themselves fully in all their characteristics.
When you do this, ask yourself, "why am I feeling this way?". When you
answer, again ask "why?", probing deeper and deeper for understanding.
Are you being reasonable? Are you being realistic about your
expectations of others? Is there a more reasonable or realistic way to
think about the situation? For example, rather than thinking: "that
person is a *!@#$" you might observe: "that person did ___ and I am
reacting angrily". Also, a dislike of strong emotions can compound the
difficulties caused by them so it can be helpful to face emotions in
this way and in doing so lose that fear.
At other times you will find it appropriate to observe your initial
emotional reactions to an event and decide not to go down that road. It
is possible to allow yourself to think a thought and at the same time
not give emotions control over your mind and body. Relax the body and
mind, don't tense up, let go of that mind set, drop any attitudes or
poses you find yourself taking on. Try to see if there is a deeper
cause of the emotion, but sometimes you will see that your emotional
reactions are just habits that you picked up over time, maybe from your
parents when you were very young or elsewhere. If you learned to react
in a certain way, you can also learn to react in a different way. It
can be helpful to relax and repeat a phrase such as, "I don't have to
react this way" or some other phrase based on a better way of thinking
about the situation. Other examples might include "I have plenty of
time" when you are unnecessarily hurrying, or "that person doesn't see
himself the way others do" when you see someone doing something wrong.
Sometimes just resetting your perspective with, "Relax, don't take
things so seriously, lighten up, don't be so intense" can really make a
big difference in your attitude. Always remember to be
relaxed when using a reminder phrase.
If you reach a point where you find that you have done all that you
can but you still can't let go of an emotion, then it is time to ask for
help from a higher source. Try lying down, doing some
deep relaxation exercises and
then self healing.
There is no hard and fast rule on when to practice letting out and
when to practice letting go. Often it will be useful to
practice letting out emotions that have a long history, that you are
having trouble with from your past, that you have been holding in and
need to bring out into consciousness. At some point when you feel that
you have done "enough" letting out of a certain emotion you may decide
it is time to let go of it. Practice letting go of the emotions that
come and go during the various annoyances and inconveniences of the day.
If you find things happening faster than your ability to let go and you
find emotions building up inside, then letting them out may be better.
In time you should find that letting out and letting go are really not
opposites but part of the same process. You may find yourself
thinking about something, noticing an emotion in the back of your mind,
deliberately letting it out into your consciousness to see what it
is, and then letting go of it and moving on.
One method of balancing letting out with letting go is found in
concentration meditation
described in the previous section. In that type of meditation you
attempt to concentrate on some focus of attention. When you notice you
are distracted you simply go back to concentrating. When distractions
arise, that is the process of letting out. Going back to concentrating
is the process of letting go. As you meditate this way the technique
itself provides the balance.
The
How It Works Mantra is one way to keep in mind how to balance letting out with letting go.
If you find you are considering whether to let out or let go of an
emotion you should also consider there are more than just those two
approaches. Ultimately what you should do depends on the cause of the
emotion.
-
If an emotion is caused by your internal self talk and is due to an
issue you have analyzed in the past, then letting go and quieting
the mind with concentration meditation may be helpful.
-
If you have an emotion and you don't know why, then self-analysis may be
helpful.
-
If you have an emotion and you don't know why,
another possibility is that the emotion due to
metabolic causes.
For example, someone with hypoglycemia may have have emotional
swings simply because their blood sugar gets low. In this case letting
out or letting go will not deal with the root cause. A better approach
might involve modifying the diet to better manage blood sugar levels.
-
If the emotion is caused by an irrational fear such as a phobia, or past
negative experience, or misophonia, then desensitization through
relaxation exercises may be the right approach.
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sysden.htm
Insight meditation is used for the purpose of learning to perceive how
and when thoughts and emotions arise. As described above, in insight
meditation you observe the physical sensations associated with emotions.
However, it is possible to over do this. When you dwell on the
sensations that make up an emotion you are in effect practicing to
create that emotion within yourself. If you dwell too much on negative
emotions you may develop the habit of making yourself unhappy. However
this principle can be used constructively. When you think of things
that make you feel good and dwell on the sensations of those emotions,
you can develop the ability to fill yourself with good feelings. See
the
Practicing Peace
meditation (above) for a practical method of using this principle.
Believing that emotions are inevitable can have a negative impact on
your life because it may lead you to avoid various activities if you
believe negative emotions will be associated with them. However, if you
believe you can control your emotions you will be open to a wider range
of experiences because you will not be so afraid of the emotions that
may occur. If you change your belief and come to recognize that
emotions are not inevitable, then you may find that it causes you to
change your behavior. You try new experiences and are not put off by
negative emotions and see all that has been explained here is true.
This reinforces your new belief which leads you to try more new things
and change old habits and expectations in a positive feedback loop.
This is similar to what psychologists call "behavior modification".
Since people come into this life to learn from their experiences this
can be a help in one's spiritual development. Letting out and letting
go of emotions also helps one to eliminate a lot of negative thinking
and attitudes thus making one more fit for the higher spheres in the
hereafter as well as helping you to find peace in this life by freeing
you from your self-centered delusions. If you change your beliefs
about emotions you may notice immediate changes in your experiences but
in general this process of learning about emotions will be something
that you develop gradually over a number of years. If you find you
can't let go of an emotion, try to get help from a higher source through
prayer or through self healing.
Top
This article is on my blog: Joy During Meditation
Top
Like many activities, meditation is not without risks. I explained these risks
to someone on reddit in approximately this way:
-
Meditation can release a lot of suppressed emotions and people who
don't want to deal with that should do relaxation exercises instead.
Also, one of the reasons for fidgeting and wanting to cut short a meditation
session or skip a session is that unconscious, unpleasant thoughts are
nearing the surface. One reason I recommend
serenity meditation
is because it produces positive
emotions that will counteract the effects of negative emotions that
might be released during meditation.
- Meditation can make you more emotional. For example, after
you start meditating regularly, you might
feel
like crying more when watching sad movies.
- Meditation can cause personality changes that can
interfere with career and relationships. It is not uncommon for someone
who has become deeply involved with meditation to lose interest in
the materialist rat race. When a person experiences the changes
caused by meditation they may find themselves drifting apart from
friends and relatives who are not experiencing those changes.
- Meditation can turn your world-view upside down and that can
be disconcerting. Meditation might bring you to the realization
that much unhappiness in your past was needless, and all the pleasure
you get from the things you love and enjoy is just an illusion. While
realization brings equanimity, brief glimpses short of
realization into the truth of non-self and emptiness can be
disturbing. When your world-view gets turned upside down, and you are
left facing a completely new reality that is unfamiliar to you, there
can be a psychological upheaval.
- Long sessions of meditation can cause temporary forgetfulness. This is a
natural consequence of calming the mind. When the effects of
meditation wear off, normal memory function will return.
-
I don't advise people to meditate sitting on the floor or to sit
absolutely still because that can cause knee and spine injuries. If
some people like to sit on the floor or sit absolutely still when they
meditate, I am not necessarily against it, I just don't tell people to
do it.
-
It is possible to develop the habit of repressing thoughts and emotions
from meditating if you push unpleasant thoughts and emotions away in order
to maintain concentration. Learning to let go without
repressing requires experiencing the thought or emotion while relaxing.
Please see the section on Releasing Unpleasant Thoughts and Emotions for more information.
- After meditating regularly, some people report having psychic
experiences such as improved intuition, synchronicities, and seeing
spirits. Some people like having these experiences but there
are various reasons such experiences can be disturbing.
For example, experiencing premonitions of disaster you can do noting to
prevent, or seeing spirits can be upsetting for some people.
In some cases people may have religious beliefs that any of these types of
experiences are evil.
However, most religious traditions have some form of practice that is equivalent
to meditation but has a different name such as "contemplative prayer"
or "repetitive prayer" and these practices might be more appropriate
for religious believers than meditation.
- It is possible that some people might find some forms of
meditation to be addicting. Some people are susceptible to addiction.
For example, many people drink alcohol but only some become alcoholics.
Because some forms of meditation (such as the serenity meditation described
above, and any type of practice that produces intensely pleasurable feelings) seem to activate the pleasure centers in
the brain, it is possible that people who are prone to addiction might
become addicted to these forms of meditation.
-
Excessive amounts of certain types of meditation can cause severe
psychological harm including hallucinations, psychosis, and suicide.
There was an interview with Willoughby Britton, a Professor of Psychiatry at Brown University, in which she discussed this at
buddhistgeeks.com
but it has been removed. There is an excerpt from the interview at the end of
this forum post.
If you are considering going on a meditation retreat that is a week or
longer, you should be aware of this danger. Most meditation retreats
involve long hours of meditation every day which can be physically
uncomfortable so they are designed to use subtle psychological pressure
to get the participants to do the meditation. If you are on a retreat
and you feel it is causing you a psychological disruption, you need to
understand the risks because often the staff may be more concerned with
pushing you to meditate than looking out for your psychological health.
You need to take responsibility to stop meditating if it is harming you.
And this is a lot to expect from a beginner so I would recommend
beginners avoid retreats longer than a weekend. If you have been
meditating regularly for a year and have done a few weekend retreats,
you could consider a longer retreat. This is just my opinion,
and each person has the right to
make decisions for themselves and do what they feel is right for
themselves, but they should make their decisions with the best available
information.
Top
God is love.
People who experience being in the presence of God during near death experiences describe having an overwhelming feeling of being loved.
God is omnipresent.
You can tap into this source of universal love and connect with God without having a near death experience.
To do it you use your spiritual capabilities - the capabilities that all spirits have and that as an incarnated spirit you have access to even while you are incarnated.
Spirits interact with their world through their mind. They think of a place they want to go to and they start moving there. They are telepathic. They think of someone and their thoughts go off to that person. Spirits use their mind the way an incarnated person uses tools. Spirits create by using their mind.
We also use the word "create" to describe how people use their imagination because it is the same thing.
To create a tap into universal love, use your imagination. Imagine a light beam of love coming down to you from above. Hold your hands in front of you with your palms facing upward to receive it. Relax any tension or tightness you may feel in your chest, open your heart, and let the love flow out into the world.
Try this meditation:
- Invoke assistance
from God or your spirit guides. For example, ask, "Oh God, please help me to connect with
joy and love from the spirit planes."
-
Imagine a light beam of love coming down upon you from above. Hold your hands in front of you with your palms facing upward to receive it.
If you feel love for God, be aware of that feeling too.
-
Relax any tension or tightness you may feel in your chest, open your
heart, and imagine love emanating from your heart and flowing out into
the world. You can also imagine love flowing from you to a situation
you don't like to desensitize yourself to the situation, or flowing to someone
who might be a problem for you to develop forgiveness and tolerance.
-
While you are doing steps 2 and 3 repeat
or chant something inwardly or aloud to help you keep in mind that you
are connecting with spiritual love. For example, during step 2 you
might think, "Love is all around why don't you take it?" And during step
3 you might think, "Love is all around why don't you make it?" (If you
know the tune, you may sing it to yourself).
Once you are experiencing the feeling of love you may skip this step if you want to, or you may continue to do it if you prefer or if you find it helpful.
Repeat steps 2 through 4 for the duration of the
meditation session.
If you feel like smiling while you do this meditation, go ahead and smile. It is probably an indication that you are doing it right.
If you find that this meditation is working, if you feel love flowing
through you, you might also try to cultivate a feeling of
connectedness to all things. Imagine an invisible barrier surrounding
you dissolves and you merge with the environment around you, that you and the world around you are all one mind.
There are a few other things you can try to help you connect to universal love:
-
Try smiling a little bit - but don't force it.
- Breathe deeply and slowly and relax. As you inhale imagine an atmosphere of
love and joy filling your torso. As you exhale imagine it circulating
throughout the rest of your body.
- Try thinking about something you love like a cute animal or a person you are close to.
- You don't need to have a strong feeling immediately during the first instant of the meditation. If
you can get a glimmer of the feeling, you can let it accumulate and build within
you over the period of meditation. This is like filling a glass of
water slowly with a slight stream of water rather than holding it under
a fully open faucet.
- If your mind is turbulent, or upset, it might be hard to tune in to
the feeling of love. In that case it might help to do
relaxation exercises
and then concentration meditation
to quiet the mind. When your mind is quiet, calm, and at peace, try this meditation again.
-
If you are happy it is much easier to tune into the love. If you are not feeling happy, try experiencing joy using the method described in this article from my blog: Joy During Meditation
-
Sometimes you may feel the love coming through your spirit guides. Most
people think of spirit communication as being pictures or logic or
words. But sometimes it is just emotions. Someone may sense a faint
feeling of being loved and not understand what it is and ignore it. But
if they would sit quietly, noticing it, they might develop a stronger
channel for communication with the spirit that is sending them that love.
- If you experience kundalini
energy, try letting it flow. Tapping into universal love seems
to be a way to focus kundalini flow into a positive experience.
You can do this meditation while listening to music. I recommend some songs to listen to while doing this meditation in this post on my blog. You can use lyrics from these songs for step 4.
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Sometimes during meditation, something called "Kundalini energy" is
released. This may be experienced as a tingling or feeling of energy
rising up the spine, or it may involve muscle contractions, twitching
and grimacing, or sobbing. There are differing opinions on the cause of
this. One hypothesis is that stress causes unconscious muscle tension
and over a life time that can effect the nervous system. When one
begins to relax and explore the inner realms through meditation, the
conscious mind can become aware of that tension. As this tension
transitions from the unconscious mind to the conscious mind, the
Kundalini phenomena may occur.
Often the Kundalini energy is confused with or thought to cause whatever
emotions a person is experiencing at the time. However, experience shows
that it is actually independent of emotions. When a person is depressed
he may think the phenomena is causing or caused by depression. The same
thing occurs when he is anxious. However when he is neither anxious or
depressed the phenomena may continue to occur.
Often, allowing the phenomena to occur can have the effect of relieving
stress or tension or releasing whatever emotion the practitioner may be
experiencing at the time. For this reason allowing the phenomena to
occur can be beneficial at times. However, if the phenomena is felt to
be undesirable there are several alternatives one can take. One
alternative is to simply stop the meditation practice. Another is to do
a different type of meditation. This might be either a more relaxing
form of meditation or a less relaxing form of meditation. In general,
lying down is the most relaxing way to meditate. Besides lying down,
relaxation exercises can be combined with meditation during a session.
Alternatively, a less relaxing form of meditation that might be helpful
is walking meditation. Experience shows that Kundalini energy flows
when the practitioner is in a state in between that of the normal busy
waking mind and the deeply relaxed state attained through deep
relaxation exercises.
Sometimes meditating on the chakras can help tame the kundalini
energy that arises spontaneously during other types of meditation. Meditate by focusing your attention on each chakra and
visualize its associated color, starting at the lowest and moving upward
to the highest and then downward to the lowest. Repeat this for the
duration of the meditation session.
If you are experiencing Kundalini energy and find it troublesome, it
would be wise to investigate it further and seek other sources of
information beyond this article. Kundalini is experienced differently
in different people so you should read as many different opinions on it
as you are able to find. When first experienced, the strangeness and
persistence of the phenomena may be disquieting. However, over time
when one gains familiarity and observes that it is not causing emotions,
one begins to accept it as something that just happens, neither good or
bad.
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A Still Mind
One reason to practice keeping the mind still with meditation is to learn
from experience that when the mind is still, you don't make emotions. In
a healthy person, for an emotion to arise, there has to be some
conception in the mind to which the emotion is a reaction. You have to
perceive and recognize danger before you feel fear. You have to
remember the past before you feel regret.
When you see that attachments and aversions disappear when the mind is
stilled, that attachments and aversions can be let go by calming the
mind, you are no longer a slave to attachments and aversions. You are
not an emotionless zombie either. You can go through life normally
except you are no longer controlled by attachments and aversions, you
are free. You can still get angry if you want to, but now it is your
choice.
Attaining this insight - that by stilling the mind you become free - is
easier said than done. It cannot be accomplished through reason. You
have to develop the skill yourself. It requires time spent in
meditation observing the mind, the bodily and sensory reactions to
thoughts which are the reactions to the distractions that arise as you
try to concentrate during meditation.
Complete absence of mental activity is not necessary. What is necessary
is the skill of being aware of emotions as they arise, of the thoughts
that precede the emotions, and the ability to relax the mind, refrain
from thinking, to let go of all thoughts, for just a moment to let
go of any arising attachment or aversion. This skill is developed by
observing the mind and bodily sensations as you try to concentrate
during meditation.
Letting go involves relaxation. Letting go can mean relaxing your grip
on something. Relax your grip on thoughts. If you find you are
becoming tense or feel repressed from meditation, try to relax more
during meditation. In the beginning, you may have to let strong emotions
have their way until they naturally dissipate to the point where you can
let go of them.
The human mind has a great capacity to deny, hide, and suppress thoughts
and feelings and only time and effort can allow one to bring all that is
occurring in the mind into awareness. As awareness deepens, letting go
of more and more becomes possible, and one becomes more and more free.
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The Ego and Spiritual Development
Many spiritual philosophies recognize the ego as an obstacle to
spirituality. Buddhism is one doctrine that offers solutions to the
problem through its meditation practices.
Part of the "ego problem" is due to the physiological fight or flight
reaction. This is the evolved response to perceived threats to safety,
status or territory that occurs in many animals. The result of the
fight or flight reaction is anger or fear or other negative emotions.
You can counteract the fight or flight reaction with relaxation.
Because relaxing meditation or relaxation exercises can help reduce the
flight or fight reaction, it can have the effect of reducing the ego.
This is one reason meditation and relaxation exercises can help promote
spiritual development.
To actually diminish the ego, however, is easier said than done. Several
Buddhist practices provide help. These include:
-
A daily practice of relaxing meditation or relaxation exercises. The
previous sections in this chapter describe
meditation
in more detail and the chapter on
relaxation
describes how to use relaxation exercises.
- Development of the habit of trying to do things throughout the day in
a relaxed manner. Sometimes this practice is called "mindfulness" and
may involve doing daily tasks in a meditative manner.
Mindfulness
A helpful aide to mindfulness is to use the following mantra in rhythm with inhalation / exhalation:
concen / tration
relax / ation
This mantra can be used during various daily activities such as
cleaning the house, washing the dishes, showering, etc. While you use
the mantra, be aware that "concentration" means to fill the mind with
the mantra to displace negative thoughts like worries or other things
that are upsetting. "Relaxation" should remind you to be as relaxed as
possible. The mantra should be used in a relaxing manner not hurried or
tense.
Walking Meditation
Walking meditation can also be part of a mindfulness practice.
As you walk, inhale for three steps and think "and", then exhale for
three steps and count "one", continue counting to ten. You don't have
to use three steps if that is uncomfortable. Use whatever number you
find most comfortable with the rate at which you are walking. Then
after you count ten breaths, say the following phrases to yourself:
My mind is relaxed and empty.
I am not thinking about anything
Or attached to anything.*
All my delusions have fallen away.*
I am awake to the present moment
Not caught up in my own thoughts
And not caught in any ego traps.
* If either of these two lines reminds you of attachments or delusions instead of helping you to let go of them, then omit these lines.
Then repeat counting ten breaths in rhythm with your steps, repeat the
phrases and continue like that as you walk.
The phrases remind you to let go of whatever thoughts might be in your
mind and to relax your mind and body. Attachments might be any thoughts
that are causing you to be upset, something you want and don't have, or
something that you don't like. Delusions are the thoughts and feelings
associated with attachments. When you are not thinking about those
situations you will not have those delusions. Being awake to the
present moment is not any special state of awareness or special focus of
the mind. It is simply the state of being when you are not caught up in
thoughts in your own mind. Not worrying about the past, future, or deep
in thought about anything in particular. If you are simply conscious of
what you see in front of you while you walk without thinking about
anything else, you are awake to the present moment.
All the phrases have one thing in common. They remind you not to be
wrapped up in your own thoughts. This is the heart of meditation.
Meditation is a practice that takes you out of the delusions you
construct with your thoughts and brings you to a more fundamental
experience of reality. That experience is the perception of reality
through your senses. It is trivial to experience this for a moment, but
the more time you spend in this state, the clearer you will see that the
attachments and aversions you construct in your mind are simply
delusions. This knowledge, when internalized from long practice of
meditation and mindfulness, leads along the path that can allow you to
free yourself of those delusions.
An ego trap is any situation that tricks you into acting egotistically.
It is like a Zen koan that ordinary life offers up to you. In Zen, a
teacher may ask a student to explain mysterious vignette or riddle called a koan.
Often the question is designed so that if the student has not reached a
certain level of understanding, the question will trick the student into
answering incorrectly - often this means egotistically. Life offers
many of these koans or ego traps to us every day. Anything that annoys
you or irritates you might be one. If someone cuts you off in traffic,
or something doesn't go the way you want and you get annoyed, ask
yourself if you are just being too self centered? If you watch out for
these ego traps and start noticing them, you will start to be less and
less annoyed at those types of things and that will help you to become
free from the illusory bonds of the ego.
- An awareness throughout the day as to whether you are tense or not
and making an effort to relax when you notice tension arising. The previous section in this chapter on
Insight meditation
can be helpful in increasing awareness of when tension
arises.
The walking meditation can be used for mindfulness during other daily
activities or during daily relaxing meditation practice. To do this
breathe naturally rather than in rhythm with your steps. If you have
meditation beads or a rosary you can use them to combine the
concentration-relaxation mantra with the phrases in the walking
meditation. Repeat the concentration-relaxation mantra ten times
(counting with the beads) in rhythm with your breathing, then say the
phrases from the walking meditation and continue in that manner.
This is a life-long process. It is not something you can attain once
and then coast along afterward.
One of the pitfalls of this path is the tendency to use concentration in
meditation to suppress thoughts or emotions. This is not the right use
of concentration. To avoid this, one must be aware of tension - tension
is a sign of suppression. The antidote to it is to increase the amount
of relaxation in the practice.
The correct approach is to use both concentration and relaxation.
Concentration, for example on a mantra, or on a guided meditation, keeps
the mind from dwelling on and reinforcing negative mental habits.
Relaxation counters the fight or flight reaction those mental constructs
may have induced.
Learning from the past and planning for the future are both necessary
and deserve time allocated for them. However, you don't have to be
totally wrapped up in your thoughts all the time. When you make a
effort to spend part of your time living in the moment, you see, by what
happens in their absence, that your regrets and fears can create a
delusion of unhappiness, and you see that the delusional mental state
is self induced and also optional.
However, in some cases thoughts and emotions need to be analyzed
consciously. This is especially true when we don't know why we feel a
certain way. Sometimes, strong emotions need to expressed. The proper
balance between analysis, expression, concentration and relaxation is
something that each person must find for themself. It is part of
spiritual development because it allows one to live according to their
spiritual values by reducing interference from anger and fear, the fight
or flight reaction, the ego.
This balance, when developed, has eternal value - it's something you can
bring with you from the earth life to the afterlife. This is one of the
reasons we benefit from incarnating into the physical plane. The
physical plane provides a situation were we have a mechanism for
developing selflessness (lack of egotism) something that is of benefit
to us for all of eternity.
One other interesting point about all this is that these practices can
appeal to anyone because they bring peace and tranquility. Religion,
belief in God, the afterlife or spirits are not necessary for someone to
make progress in their spiritual development.
Three Ways to Reduce the Ego
Here are three approaches to diminishing the ego. These methods can be
used together, they do not invalidate each other and they do exclude
each other. A person can try to develop in all three ways at the same
time.
-
Recognizing that thoughts and feelings are things we observe arising in
our selves but they are not ourself. This awareness comes from watching
the activity of the mind. When we see that thoughts and emotions are
not reality they lose some of their force and we become resistant to
habitual reactions. By trying to be aware of the present moment we see
how thoughts of the past and future can create a delusion of reality.
Ultimately the benefits of this are through diminution of the ego. It
transforms our sense of self. This is very similar to certain forms of
Buddhist practice and philosophy.
-
Relaxation Power: In this approach the ego is seen as arising from the
fight or flight reaction. When a person recognizes a threat to their
physical safety, their status, their territory the body generates a
fight or flight reaction. This is a physiological basis for the ego.
The body's natural method of counteracting or recovering from a fight or
flight reaction is through the parasympathetic nervous system. By
"exercising" or stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system through,
for example, relaxing meditation, one can develop relaxation power.
Just as lifting weights can give you muscle power, meditation can make
you better at relaxing so that you can resist and counter the fight or
flight reaction better. This doesn't mean one session of meditation
will give you enlightenment. It means that a persistent dedication to
daily relaxing meditation will help you to reduce the influence of the
ego through your life.
-
Love: When you feel loved for who and what you are, you can love others
for who and what they are. When you can love others in this way you can
drop fear, attitudes, poses, and self importance. You can accept things
as they are and avoid reacting egotistically. This is because when you
feel loved it gives you a feeling of confidence and of being accepted
and that causes you to become resistant to thoughts of being threated by
other people and by events.
You can feel loved if you can tap into the ultimate source love which is
spiritual in nature. Different people have different beliefs about this.
Some people may look towards God, other may look to their spirit guides.
Either way, to tap into this you just have to calm the mind with relaxing
meditation and open yourself to this love. One way is to use a mantra
such as: "Loving God, Loved by God, Loving others." keeping in mind your
idea of God, your love for God and His love for you. Then you just
extend your love a little bit to include all people. One session of
meditation will not give you enlightenment. You have to practice this
with regular meditation and have realistic expectations that it will have
an effect over the course of your life if you practice consistently.
Some days you may develop a very strong connection to this love and feel
great benevolence towards other people. Other times you may barely get
a glimpse of this love. You have to recognize that other conditions in
your life will affect you too and so you have to be patient and accept
that this process will have it's ups and downs and is something that
develops over a life time.
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More
More articles on meditation can be found on my blog:
http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/search/label/meditation
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Recommended Reading
More information on
meditation
can be found in the books suggested in the
meditation section
of the
Recommended Reading
chapter.
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