Heaven & Hell and somewhere in between

1 THIS IS THE END

Time is running out

So says the hour glass

All things must reach their climax

The Nasdaq is going to hell

The Dow has tolled the bell

So just relax

Sit back and read my poetry

Just for fun and the hell of it

Before someone turns out the light

Before God says GOOD NIGHT

Heaven & Hell and Somewhere in Between

DAMNATION MEMORIAE OR APOTHEOSIS

I roam somewhere between heaven and hell

In the penumbra of promiscuity and grief

Between the Beaux Quartiers & the inner city blues

Hell is where God is NOT

Hell hath no fury like a woman

(Scorned)

Go to Hell with you, I say

Hell’s bells and BUGGARATION

Apotheosis or eternal DAMNATION

The Senate’s judgement for the EMPEROR

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned

Heaven is where we dance a lot

Make love with angels (real humdingers!)

And eat delicious spicy

Food (ice cream and chocolate fingers)

And drink aphrodisiac wine

All the time!

Sweat dreams are for daydreaming boys

And pragmatic girls (if admitted to the club)

Between the two continents (the mammals of antithesis)

Work (Toil and Trouble) and play (Fun and Games)

Although sometimes lacking here brothers

Abundant elsewhere (too much for some, not enough for others)

It requires too much energy for sophisticated lovers who

Prefer to stay in bed and make hay while the sun shines

In exotic postures of sixes and nines

And do the things they do

If I had to choose between hell and heaven

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

I’d take a chance on the latter

And try to swim ashore

Hoping for the better

For ever more

SEX isn’t dirty but

It can be dangerous

Don’t dip your biscuit

In any old honey POT

SEX is fun

For some NOT

For others

SEX has its own business

Models (top ones too)

There’s SEX for the rich

Not much of it if you’re poor

Although some say

SEX is best when you’re hard up

Take Viagra if you’re lacking the itch

If you swallow too much of it

It may make you twitch

A stitch in time saves nine

So be careful all the time

Be careful with the wine

Be careful with the 69

WHEN THE LIGHTS DO FINALLY GO OUT

When the lights do finally go out

OUT they go for

Ever

Memories distinguished and less distinguished

Become EXTINGUISHED

After the final flash of the supernova of consciousness

Whittles out into nothingness

Light flows into darkness as if death herself were a black hole

Don’t expect to wake up some day from a nightmare

This time, the nightmare is existence itself!

No amount of piety or prayers will lead you to the Promised Land

The land of milk and honey

Like the hosts of Pharaoh

You will sink into the waters of oblivion and drown!

For 3 billion years (since the beginning of life on earth)

You have been and were a maybe

From generation of bacteria to mammal-hood

You were a might be rather than a will be

When the lights do finally go out

The illuminations will fizzle out

Like dying embers into cold ashes

You have been, were, and will no longer be!

So make hay while the sun shines

Devour life

Hump, bonk, and rock and roll

Before the bell tolls for mankind.

THE NIGHT BEFORE WHITNEY DIED

The night before Whitney died (16 February 2012)

I stumbled across her version of

The Lord’s my shepherd

I’ll not want.

What could this psalm mean for us today?

Who knows anything about

Shepherds?

Has anyone ever met a shepherd with his rod and staff?

This version is an attempt at rewriting psalm 23. It expresses what I feel.

Nothing shall I need with you as my guide

I shall always find pleasant and peaceful places to dwell

Cool water to slake my thirst

You keep my mind and body in shape and good health

And your advice and wisdom keep me

Out of trouble, on the road to moral rectitude

For its own sake

Even if I must face death and danger

You are by my side

I shall not be afraid

You comfort me with your presence alone

You make me steadfast amid my enemies

I have been chosen by you

You dispense all my heart’s desires

I am confident goodness and mercy will be mine all my life

And I shall dwell in your house for ever.

CARPE DIEM

LITANY

"Toi qui, pour consoler l'homme frêle qui souffre,

Nous appris à mêler le salpêtre et le soufre,.."

Charles Baudelaire

Oh ! please let me enter the garden of Eden

Oh ! please let me

Nibble the nipples of appeasing Laughter

Titillate the tiny little Moon-god in the shadows of the myrtle leaves

Soak the furrow with the seed of enlightenment

Oh ! please let me

Fondle the essence of Power and Glory

Finger the elasticity of life

Browse through the leaves of passion and compassion

Extinguish the quivering flames of Love's lonely quest

Oh ! My God, you say

In a frenzy of abandon and delight

Oh ! please let me

Munch on the mountains of Venus's youth

Insert the insolent acolyte

Oh ! please let me

Fondle my way back to heaven

Discover the Fountains of Rejouvenance

The nebulous awakenings in the morning light

Renew with Paradise Lost

AS I LAY DYING

As I lay dying

The sun was eclipsed by a waterfall

Of thoughts and memories gone wild

Childhood fantasia

Elves riding in a carrousel on the floor beside my cot

That first adolescent kiss in the hay with Joy Black

Gisela’s tongue exploring my lips in Cattolica

Light came in the window in a violent hurricane flash

Filled me to the brim

Remembrances are being copied onto the hard disk

Around the rim of a black hole

The finale

The end of the firework display

A supernova exploding into oblivion

Oh the silence!

Oh the darkness!

Oh the……..

2 LOVE AND BEAUTY

Love is blinded by a beautiful body

HYMN TO BEAUTY

I’m a peach, you mortal guys, a honey as cute as any rock you’ve ever dreamt of

And my shapely breasts, on which each one of you has been bruised mucking about

Was made to turn a poet on,

Silently, eternally, infatuatedly.

I am enshrined on my sky blue throne like a sphinx that none can understand

I have both a heart as white and as cold as snow and a swan’s soft downiness

I loathe any motion that displaces lines

I never cry nor do I laugh

Poets, in front of my lofty poses

Borrowed, so they say, from the proudest of monuments,

Will waste away their days studying austerely

Indeed I can fascinate my pussy-whipped lovers

With my immaculate mirrors that embellish all things

My eyes, my big bright eyes, will twinkle and shine for ever.

(Freely translated from the French, Charles Baudelaire)

DIFFUGERE NIUES

The snow has thawed away again

Covered are the plains with young grass shoots

Decked are the trees with tender leaves

The earth is undergoing many changes

While enfeebled rivers flow languidly between their banks.

Naked, a Grace with her twin sisters and the nymphs audaciously

Dance ahead. Time that warns us

Not to expect everlasting life

Snatches the benign day away from us.

The soft breeze melts the frost

And Summer tramples spring behind

The fall pours forth her fruit and abundant harvests

And soon old soggy winter is back again.

Waning moons swiftly make the best of all their losses

Alas, when we go down to the realm of our ancestors

We are but dust

And shadow.

Who knows if the gods on high

Will add the time we have left

To that already imparted to us?

Everything you give to your own beloved self

Escapes your heir’s greedy hands.

When you have departed from this earth

And judgment has been pronounced on you

Neither birth, nor eloquence,

Nor even piety will bring you back to life.

Can Diana free her chaste beloved darling

From the dominion of darkness?

Was Hercules strong enough

To snap the chains of Lethe for Theseus' friend?

(Freely translated from Horace)

3 EROTICA

Time for Hanky Panky

Priapus and Bacchus

Aphrodite and Salomé

THE FIRST KISS

For JOY

Can you remember the first kiss

The one that made your heart stop and startle

That took away your breath

That nearly knocked you out

The one you will never forget

Those soft lips murmuring silently

Those hands wondering behind your head

Those fingers running through your hair

Can you remember that first kiss

The one that made your heart beat falter

That took away your breath a while

That nearly knocked you out with bliss

That first frolicking love-locking KISS

A moment a memory an epiphany

BUSTY

Busty, Honey Bunny, Lusty PUSSY

BUSTY

(that's the name we gave her at school)

Swaggers by

Swivelling her hips

Letting her bosom bounce and prance

Inside her buxom blouse

She wears no bra

So men can browse

How firm and shapely those wonders are

Her nipples are rosy and ripe

And pointing out as if to invite

Firm and erect

So men can dream

And desire

And harden

And pine

Life is a garden of Eden

Full of plump mellow fruit

In Chanel or Saint Laurent or Lacroix

LOVE POSITIONS EXPLORED

Doggy style for sybarites

Back to front for absolute beginners

Hump rump and bonk

Spoon position for connoisseurs

Lotus position while fondling breasts and buttocks

Cowgirl riding a bucking bronco

Lysistrata would not raise her feet to the ceiling

Nor would she crouch like a lioness

When she declared a general love strike to put an end to war

Whatever way you choose

Do it consistently with all your strength and might

You never know

It may be your last NIGHT!

TURKEY BASTING FOR BEGINNERS

The mathematical formula for having babies when you’re gay.

Let P = penis and V = vagina

P + P = 0 (baby)

V + V = 0 (baby)

Now let’s try

(P + P) + (V + V) + needleless syringe + condom

= 1 or 2 (babies) maybe more

If the time is right

It depends on the moonlight

At least there’s no risk of boredom

And you can find out later who the parents are

With DNA and you know who’s who.

FOOTSTEPS

With the pulse of your steps

And my heart has been beating

For I have been waiting in expectation

How sweet it is to be or not to be fulfilled!

Do not hurry this tender gesture

To assuage the demons of my thoughts

A nourishing kiss with your pouting lips

By those naked feet: If you are offering

Oh Gods! all the gifts, I can imagine, are brought to me

Pure being, divine shadow, how sweet your carefully held back footsteps are Mincing daintily to my awaiting bed, slowly, silently, in icy holiness

Your footsteps are like those of the children of my innermost thoughts,

(Translation of Paul Valéry's poem, "les pas". Read it from bottom to top.)

PLUMP LITTLE PUSSY

SALOMÉ

WITCH OR SHE-DEVIL

The wanton bitch gives me the itch

Flip the switch

She makes me twitch

What a witch so cunning callous & cute

Outlaws all goodness when playing her flute

Cruelty and crudeness are her choice of arms

She makes me jump into the fire

Kindles my heart in the cinders of her blazing gaze

Sometimes she visits me in vampire guise

Succubus of my wildest dreams

Aureole of calico desire

Never in want of some wanton mischievous disguise.

4 NATURE

Nature is a garden of weeds and thorns

Waiting for a gardener to come along and clean the place up!

THE SEASONS MEDLEY

In England, we have the four seasons in the same day!

Summer is a coming in and spring is on the wane again

Autumn is a season of mist and mellow melancholy

With the West Wind breathing Autumn’s being and driving

Leaves fleeing from an enchanter like effeminate ghosts

At a fancy dress party!

Then along comes Winter

Sullen and sad with vapours, clouds and storms

Freezing the balls off us! Year in Year out!

Then let not Winter’s ragged hand deface the summer of your smile

While coming down the winter hill

Ankle deep in snow

We listened to familiar sounds

The roar of trees and crack of branches

Telling us not to go into that good night

So rage against the dying of the light!

April is the cruellest month breeding lilacs

Out of the Terre Gaste

Summer was so surprising, pissing on us with a shower of rain

As we strolled down the Champs Elysées

On Bastille day! So far away! Once more again!

To be or not to be happy

As showers pour down on us

From the unhappy heavens!

Go and catch a falling star

Twinkling down like Champaign bubbles

In a celestial flute

Listen to the magic spheres

Popping bottles and maids alike!

RIMBAUD'S DAWN

I held dawn in my arms one summer morn.

Nothing was astir on the palace walls.

The waters were motionless.

The encamped shadows remained on the tree-lined path.

I walked on, awaking, as I went by, lively tepid breaths, and the stones looked up, and wings fluttered noiselessly into the air.

The first achievement was there, in the path already full of the fresh pale fragments of light:

a flower told me its name.

I laugh at the waterfall whose disheveled blondness appeared through the fir trees:

on the silver tree-top, I recognized the goddess herself.

So I stripped off her veils one by one. In the pathway, waving my arms.

On the plain where I announced her to the cock. In the great city, she fled among the domes and steeples, and as she ran like a beggar girl along the marble quays, I pursued her.

At the top of the road, near a grove of laurels, I covered her with the veils I had picked up along the way, and I felt her majestic body a little.

Dawn and the child lay down on the ground beneath the trees.

When I woke up, it was noon.

(Freely translated from Artur Rimbaud’s j'ai embrassé l'aube d'été)

VERLAINE'S SENTIMENTAL WALK

The sunset darted its last majestic rays

And the wind rocked the pale water lilies;

Large water lilies among the reeds

Sadly glistened upon the calm waters.

I wandered lonely, burdened with my wound

Along the shore of the pond, among the willow trees

Where a vague mist summoned up a large

Milky Phantom in despair

And weeping with the voice of the teals

Beckoning to one another with beating wings

Among the willows where I wandered lonely

Burdened with my wound; and a thick shroud

Came out of the darkness and drowned the last majestic

Rays of the setting sun in its pale waves

And the water lilies, among the reeds,

The large water lilies on the calm waters.

(Translated from the French:

Verlaine’s Promenade sentimentale)

MIAMI SOUTH BEACH

For Fanny

five o'clock

in no way are we going in for a swim amid

DANGEROUS MARINE LIFE

the purple flag is out and flying high in the soft sea breeze

I first turned my thoughts to sharks coming in from the reef

then

men o'war and jellyfish the coastguard explained

beware of long tenticules and poisoned stinging suckers

coloured girls STROLL by

obesely AMERICAN style

then along waggle and swagger

and swivel their hips

cuban plumpness

with tit and bum out of scanty bikinis BULGING

slim wasps jog along the beach blondishly

it's just gone half past five

along south beach MIAMI

5 LOGOS

The beginning was speechless

It took billions of years for someone to say I love you

CRATYLE

Cratyle is my brother's name

Involved in sense and essence

He looks for strange associations

May they reveal the relevant

Display what lies behind the lies of dissertation, denomination, distillation

What is a flower but a multitude of pixels

Remembered somewhere in the brain!

So Cratyle thinks a flower may be deflowered

Such is the logic of word association

Ejaculations of sense without meaning

Engrossing life with pregnant thoughts

Thus evolves the artist

Silently predating the visible world

Dreaming of the invisible

The naked beauty of Serendipity

The goddess of discovery

When the gods are away the nymphs do play

Morality dissolves in immorality

So spake Cratyle

DECARTES’ EMPTINESS

What is absolute emptiness?

I don’t think any more

Therefore I am no longer anywhere

Anybody

No longer what?

A sentient entity

Vacuum is something or nothing?

Emptiness is a hole in my memory

As big as a supernova

Emptiness is quiddity with

Neither centre nor circumference

π is measured in light years

Before matter appeared

A singular idea?

You mean singularity?

What is quiddity?

SOMETHINGNESS, I suppose.

STUFFISHNESS, THINGINESS.

That’s an oddity.

Why is there something and not just nothing?

Nothing multiplied by nothing equals nothing squared,

Which, I surmise, must mean something to someone

Unless you have a better idea!

Have you an equation for the end of time?

E = mc^-eπ

Not much energy left there !

Fermat’s intuition

CONJECTURE

Fermat's Last Theorem states that no three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation aⁿ + bⁿ = cⁿ for any integer value of n greater than two.

Fermat lived in Toulouse

Had in mind maybe

Something triangular

Something rectangular

A form Pythagorean

Couldn’t put it in the margin

Here it is into the bargain

No triple can have all its terms integer

When the exponent is greater than two.

Here are three cubes written down as

Pythagoras would: (z sqrt z) ² = (x sqrt x) ² + (y sqrt y) ² = x³ + y³

Compare it with x² + y² = z²

Written like this (sqrt z sqrt z) ² = (sqrt x sqrt x) ² + (sqrt y sqrt y) ² = x² + y²

Easy to get rid of the square roots in the second case

(they multiply each other out into wholenumbership

But whatever we do

We’re always left with a surd in the first place

(two’s company, three’s a crowd)

So we can make x, y, squares

But z will remain with a decimal place!

Let z = c², x= a², y = b²

This is infinite descent because c is smaller than z

And we can’t go on like that for ever

We must needs stop at zero.

So, we now have (c sqrt c²) ² = (a sqrt a²) ² + (b sqrt b²) ² = a⁶ + b⁶

No chance we’ll find a solution here

(Things have got even worse)

And if there were a solution

It would be found

Outside the above equation

It would not yield a triple like three four and five

Nor a triangle rectangular

But Pierre tore up his sheet of paper

And left his conjecture unsolved for later.

SHAKESPEARE, SCHRÖNDIGER AND ME

To be or not to be

To be and not to be

Both to be and not to be at the same time

That is the quantum paradox

So you think we can be alive and dead at the same time

Think about the zombie watching TV

The couch potato armed with a beer can and a packet of crisps

To be here and be there at the same time

You’re talking to me and my mind is a thousand miles away

In Miami South Beach

Watching the bikini-clad swivel by

To be here or not to be here

To be here and not to hear

That is the quantum paradox

6 DIALOGUE WITH THE CREATOR

A one way dialogue

A stereophonic monologue

Someone is doing a lot of talking

But nobody is listening

THE BOOK OF JOB REVISITED

And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.

God and Satan were comparing their accounts over the last three thousand years

It appears that the prince of darkness

Or fallen angel if you like

Had a long long list that took him most of the night

(nights are very long in the land of eternity!) to recite!

Numbers and numbers, he went on raving

Look at my genocides

Victims run into the millions

Jews, Christians, Heathens (Red Skins in America)

Armenians under the Sultan

Not to mention collective suicides and massacres

Albigensians of Montségur, Zealots in Masada, and those terrible

Templars all over Europe

Philip of France with the help of the Pope

Had most of them murdered and some of the roasted!

The Prince of Darkness boasted.

One day we’ll reach the trillion!

And that accursed Church of Rome

That Whore of Babylon gleefully

Put to death heretics, eccentrics, & homosexuals ill-fated

Protestants, dissenters and protesters of all races

In the name of godliness (or just plain wickedness)

They were tortured, burnt, or emasculated

The demise of witches was a major feat

Throughout the Old Continent

To Salem in the New World

A very brave New World it was indeed

Men, women, and a poor little pussy cat

Got what was coming to them

And that was that!

To Baal, man sacrificed little children too

In their tender thousands, they perished in the flames

To SEKHMET, the Lady of Slaughter, the Lioness of Gore

Prisoners of war were her favourite fodder

She would crave for more and more

Look into my accounts! My balance sheet abounds

Six million, here, fort-seven million there

World wars two and twin towers (4000 and odd)

Hiroshima and Dresden

Fire and the sword

A few more million or so

Cambodia under Pol Pot

Rwanda amid civil strife

Sarajevo and Strebenica where

Serbian criminals took many a life!

Oh! I forgot (to mention it)

I’m just summing up the human lot.

Mankind prays to you

But bids my commands

Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven!

Believe it or not

I'm quoting John Milton

Easy to rile, easy to incite

Race, religion, football and the like

All good excuses, they are, for a fight!

Power, wealth, and the prizes of virility

(Need I paint a picture?)

Await the victor and woe to the vanquished!

Your turn now

What have you accomplished throughout the many ages

To alleviate suffering and promote tolerance

Peace and Good Will to all men

(As long as they’re white)?

You only speak to prophets and lunatics alike

Weird female warriors and French socialist candidates

The illuminated and the humiliated

You have nothing else to say except

Simply heed me and obey

God was not very talkative that day

Nor was he spiteful or provocative in any way

His tongue produced only the sweetest silence ever

Articulate and surrogate and melodious

Silence (the sound that only day-dreamers hear)

No trace of hate or violence was there anywhere

In his intonation

Just a hint of contemplation

He made a sign meaning let it be!

- The price to pay for human liberty!

A vision appeared, in the foreground, a tree

With multifarious fruit laden

(which, men call science, if I’m not mistaken)

Inspiration, hope, love, mystery and compassion

Imagination, serendipity, and the quest for that great passion

Veracity, in a word, sagacity!

GOD’S IDENTITY

What is written on God’s identity card?

Place of birth…..unknown

Date of birth…..before the Big Bang

Age…..infinity

Married or single…..multiple

Profession…..creator, teacher, visionary

How many languages does he speak? Babel speaks so everyone can understand.

God is the projection of Everyman

Compassionate for the compassionate

Meek for the meek

Wise for those endowed with wisdom

But some project their venom

Power and domination

Lord of hosts

Massacre and genocide

So choose your one carefully

And gain insight perspicacity and humility

GOD DEFINING HIMSELF

I am He who is was and always has been always will be

I am the alpha and omega of all things

I am He whom you want me to be

I am embedded in your mind

A product of your evolution

When you are angry

You fill me with your hate

You shout out loud

God is Great

And you murder your enemies slay their women and children

Slaughter the innocent in My Name

You justify evil in My name

When you feel merciful

I am merciful

I am meek

I am kind when you feel kindness

I will close your eyes when the lights go out

I am He who is was and always has been always will be

I am the alpha and omega of all things

I am part and parcel of your MIND

ELOHIM

Eloquence and energy

Ladder to the heavens gateway to the stars

Origin of fire earth air and water

High above the mountains floats the breath of life

Immense

Merciful bountiful

Elohim the god(s) of dreams at El-bethel

7 FUN AND GAMES

Roll me over

I’m in stitches

Laughing

ODE TO THE FOUR LETTER WORD

PATCHWORK

I wandered lonely as the proverbial cloud

As high as a kite (I was) and that’s no kidding

Bumming around like a rolling stone

One told me to get off of his cloud

Dressed up as I was like a Union Jack

Jumping around like jumping jack flash

What a dash!

And all at once I saw a crowd (two’s company)

A host of people painting things black

A bevy of beauties fluttering and dancing

In the water-coloured breeze beside a lake

The waves were coming up to my freezing knees

While the Hurdy Gurdy Man was eating cake!

Fredrika was there again singing and swinging Twinkle

Twinkle Little Star and have a bite of my Milky Way bar

At a glance I saw them dance and prance

Sparkling-eyed like champagne bubbles

In a waterfall glass!

I was floating on high over vales and dales

Gay and gleeful and full of pep and so

Tossing my head to and fro

Gazing and praising

A host of fucking daffodils!

(Vaguely inspired by William Wordsworth's daffodils)

Here is the original:

I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretch'd in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they

Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,

In such a jocund company:

I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

MOSAIC POETIS

PEPPERMINT MAN

Peppermint man badger

Medicine man beggar

Candyfloss maid with

Belladonna figure and face

Agave aspidistra bubblegum babe

Spice is nice

Twice a night

I hate heartache hotels

And honey pot smells

Roll her over

Head over heels

In the clover fields

Highland reels

Meals on wheels

Candy coated eels

Sugar daddy with

Honey bunny

In for money

Mostly madly

Done very badly

The prince of Whales

Tells many tales

All are lies and

Chicken pies

To be or not to be seen with the Lollypop man

Sucking feverishly to make it gleam in the SUN

FUN

Turkish delight tonight

Chocolates falling like shooting stars in your dreams

Gorgeous

Vicious

Delicious

Peppermint man on Candyfloss maid

Making whoopee

Sweet and spicy

Doing it nicely

THE KEY IS ME

E, F♯, G♯, A, B, C♯, and D♯

The key is me

Not you not thee

Neither is it him her nor it

Nor he she, so be it,

They them or we or us

The key is me or should I say I

The key is I

That’s pie in the sky!

The key is mi

Not do not re

Neither is it fa

Nor so nor la

Nor si nor ladida!

Should I say the key is E

Not C not D

Neither is it F

Nor G nor A

Nor B

The key I prefer is definitely mi!

Or should I say me!

JOAN OF ARC AND ROUEN DUCK

Joan of Arc lit a spark in my

Fireplace of Memories

Historical

Mythological

Up in smoke

That's logical!

Place de la Pucelle

Duck à la Rouennaise

Canard au sang

A bloody sight to behold

So I'm told!

Served in la Couronne

1345

Joan perished in a puff of sanctity

1431

May 30

Beatified 1909

Canonized 1920

A big shot in the history of France

I've often wondered if the burning of a witch (any witch)

Could be watched from the Couronne

While enjoying their duck!

Joan, they took away your peasant girl clothes

Left you naked

You put on your soldier-wear, menswear, and

As a relapsed heretic

You were burnt at the stake

For God’s sake

Betrayed by your king (Charles VII)

A nasty beasty thing

To do

Abandoned little witch!

Here’s how you make it (not burning witches of course)

You suffocate the duck

You cook it bleeding for 20 minutes

You raise the breasts

You press the carcass to obtain the blood

You thicken it to make the sauce

Bon appétit!

THE GREAT MASTER DEBATER: A LIMERICK

Ode to Declan Mcc

There once was an Irishman called Declan

Who worked out in the sticks at Polytechnam

He had the gift of the gab

And that’s not too bad

But I think he should be put away in Bedlam

He called me a living oxymoron (in the French Parliament)

And he wasn’t very far wrong

A wisecrack indeed

One needed to feed

With quips and wiles, what a moron!

Ol’ Dec was our Master Debater

He could tell a joke an’ keep the end for later

He could spin a yarn

The length of an arm

And that was all the better

He must be a J. Wisdom hater

He forgot to send me a letter

I’m out in the cold

Been ostracized I’ve been told

For not praising the Master Debater

The final of the French Debating Association is held in the Hôtel de Lassay, the residence of the Speaker of the French Parliament. French universities and Grandes Ecoles compete for the prize in eloquence.

8 CHAMBER MUSIC

Listen to the sound of your beating heart when the waves come in and engulf your soul with nostalgia

OBAMA RAP

Yes, we can, no we can’t, maybe we should have

Got you back to work

Politicians are very fussy

Only interested in pussy

And money

America is up shit creek

The US economy is very ….

The job prospect outlook is extremely bleak

Wall Street is a tall street that is out of beat

The President himself is very clever

Too clever for a country of cowboys

Gunslingers and out in the pits rednecks

Good luck all the same

SONGS OF THE SIXTIES MIX

LISTEN do you want to know a secret

About a hard day’s night

And a paper back writer

Who could get no SATISFACTION

Listening to Cilla Black singing to some guy called Alfie

What’s it all about -

A one night stand with a day (s)tripper?

I should have known better with a girl like you

That there is always something there to remind me

‘cause I’m just a puppet on a string

So I’ll try to please (please) you

Like you please ME

I suppose I’m on the road again

Crossing that Moon River

After having my Breakfast at Tiffany’s

With no particular place to go

Maybe DOWN TOWN?

You say goodbye, and I say hello

As we take route 66 to LA with Mick and Keith

Or Nat King Cole

But Baby please don’t go down to New Orleans

‘cause a Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall

And this must be the last time

So farewell Angelina

Here we are on Tobacco Row with the Nashville TEENS

Down and out in the House of the Rising Sun with Eric

Burton and the Animals

Playing with FIRE

In old London Town

She’s a prick teaser

She only takes you half way there

Where Paul and Art are feeling GROOVY

And if you can’t get back that loving feeling

You can always go jingle jangling with Mister

Tambourine Man

I got to keep my MOJO working

As I wonder what happened to my little runaway

I guess I’ll follow the sun

Leaving YESTERDAY behind

9 WITCHCRAFT AND ENCHANTMENT

The soul is on fire

For love and desire

EVENING SONG

Night is right

Moon lit night

The sun is going down over the sleepy horizon

Tender is the mellow twilight

Tonight

Music delights 1001 story-telling nights

WATER

Waterfall tears

Wishing welfare

Weltering away in the sunlight

What shall I do with my drunken daydreams?

Where the road ends heaven begins

When the time is right switch off the light

Wait for the afterglow of sexual delight!

Want to know the secret of eternal youth

Water water water from the angel’s tears

Washing away the heartbreak of your fears

WICKED LITTLE WITCH

THE INCANTATIONS OF A SPURNED WITCH

Bring water and adorn the altar with wreaths of soft wool

Set sweet smelling verbena and frankincense alight

Show me what witchcraft can do to enflame

That wanton lover of mine

I am but in need of magic spells

Bring him back home from the town

Bring him back to me, my spells, my witch’s spells

Spells can bring down the moon from the sky

Turn men into pigs in a sty

Remember the companions of Ulysses

Turned into swine by Charming Circe

Chant the right spell, and the snake is blasted away

Bring him back home from the town

Bring him back to me, my spells, my witch’s spells

Here are three threads

Three colours there are here

Bind them round you

Walk around the altar

With your picture thrice

Odd numbers please the goddess of love.

Bring him back home from the town

Bring him back to me, my spells, my witch’s spells

Twine the three colours in three knots

Saying I twine the chains of Venus

Bring him back home from the town

Bring him back to me, my spells, my witch’s spells

The same fire hardens the clay and melts the wax

May love’s fire melt that lover of mine’s adamant heart

Scatter the grain and salt and kindle the twigs with oil

Make them burn and crackle and sparkle

My heartless lover burns my heart up

And I pine away

I set fire to the bays to make him burn up too

And feel the itch between his loins

Bring him back home from the town

Bring him back to me, my spells, my witch’s spells

Behold the altar is alight

The flames flicker to and fro

The ashes have lit up

Spontaneously again

Is this a good omen?

I hear the dog barking at the gate

Am I in luck?

Or is this nothing but wishful thinking

A vision of despair of unrequited love

Silence, my spells, I see him coming

Coming from the town

Silence my spells

Here he is

Back home again

(Adapted from Virgil's Eclogue VIII)

MISTI THE MAGICIAN

She feels like

Hocus pocus is her religion

Mumbo jumbo metaphysics

Abracadabra relativity and so forth

Cantrips & palindromes

Bring home the meaning of

Nothingness in a nut shell

Her tail is her wand

She swishes it to and fro

In water; communicates in

Monosyllabic mewing

Nimble tree-climber

Feline Goddess

Misti the Magician

Struts by like a model during FASHION WEEK

10 A KIND OF MADNESS

Be lucid

Be good but if you can’t be good, be your usual self

WISHING WELL SPELLS

I once kissed the Blarney Stone

A lot of good it did me!

Wishing well dive and delve

Waterfall pretty maids tumble in the froth of MASCARADE

Cascade of lemonade where a cute little

Witch’s spells are made

Mermaid naked maid be not afraid

Flitter flutter cut the butter

Rumpus, rumpus, help us thump her, help us bonk her!

Tell me where the world is going (wrong)

Ah! In a straight line along a curved surface.

THE PLAYGROUND

I went to the playground of Love,

And swam where I never had been

A Whorehouse appeared thro’ the mist,

Where I used to play hide and seek.

And the doors of this Brothel were boarded all up,

And ``Fuck off all of you'' written over the door;

So I went to the playground of Love

With so many a sweet little whore;

And I saw it was filled with babes,

And torment where joy should be;

And men dressed as clowns were walking their rounds,

And binding with wires my joys & desires.

(Adapted from William Blake)

Sonnet to a man who believed he could do whatever he wanted with impunity

Shall I compare you to a sinister day?

You are more icy, and more arrogant.

Snow gales do quake the icebound nights of January,

And winter’s fleece has all too long a date.

Sometime too cool the eye of Justice shines,

And often is his grey reflection blurred;

And every glare to snarl sometime defines,

Through luck, your career's constant course, unhindered.

But your infernal winter shall not fade

Nor lose possession of the smug you show us;

Nor shall you brag you flirted with that maid,

When with infernal lies in court you screwed us,

So long as men can rape or women sue,

So long lives this, and this gives shame to you.

(Inspired by William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18)

Epilogue

I walk around in circles

Concentric circles

Whose radii get smaller and smaller

As they tend to zero

As I get older life becomes colder

Behold the great unfolding of fate and fulfilment

Memories like raindrops fall randomly

Pitter-patter pitter-patter splutter-splatter

Iris deploys her calico wings

And engulfs me in sleep.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robert Sendrey lives in Paris. He has written several novels: Marianne My Fickle French Mistress (to be published) and Onironet, the Network of Our Most Beautiful dreams.