00:00 Introduction to Irish Session Culture
01:33 Mickela's Connection to Irish Music and Culture
05:24 What Does an Irish Traditional Music Session Mean?
10:03 How to Approach a Session as a Newcomer
13:44 Cultural Nuances and Respect in Irish Sessions
18:43 Learning the Language and Nuances of Irish Music
23:12 Reading the Room and Understanding Session Dynamics
27:43 Handling Requests and Song Selection Etiquette
32:43 The Significance of Silence and Respect in Sessions
37:18 The Emotional and Dynamic Range of Irish Music
42:16 The Role of Community and Generations in Sessions
46:26 Advice for Respectful Participation and Observation
51:17 Final Thoughts on Cultural Respect and Connection
Conversational Transcript
*[This is an edited conversational transcript, lightly shaped for readability while keeping the spirit of the original conversation]
What does an Irish music session mean?
Tara:
Mickela, I normally start with this question: what does an Irish traditional music session mean to you?
Mickela:
It means a lot of things for me.
The first time I ever came to Ireland was on my honeymoon, with my ex-husband, in the dead of winter. We happened to pick Ireland the week before Christmas.
I had met one of my closest friends now, Louise O’Toole, who is a dancer. I met her at an international dance and music festival, and she took us in.
That is what I love about the Irish. We became fast friends.
We went to a trad session in Dublin. One of the first was at The Stag’s Head. Then we looped around Ireland and ended back in Dublin.
Louise took us to The Harbour Bar in Bray, and there were sessions happening. There was a rock band playing too. But the session that stuck with me most was at Devitts, before it was redone.
There was a session upstairs with about eighteen musicians at the table, and it was the night people were doing the twelve pubs of Christmas.
Louise is a dancer, so they all started dancing to the music. One of the original uilleann pipers from Kíla was playing, though I did not know who he was at the time.
I fell in love with the idea of sitting in and being an interloper on this beautiful moment of joy, learning, culture, generations sitting together and pints.
Since then, I fell in love with Ireland, the music, the people and the dance.
Even my local in New York, Swift, has an incredible session every Tuesday. It brings me so much joy to sit there, listen to the music, watch the musicians, and appreciate the culture that has persevered and survived so much.
The thing about a trad session is that it is not put on.
There is no bullshit.
That is what a session means to me.
Tara:
You are so right.
It is not a performance. It is not put on for anybody. Sometimes we actually prefer if there is nobody there at all.
Mickela:
If you are at a session and you interrupt or disturb the musicians, you are out.
The Irish are so kind that they will not directly tell you to go away, but they are basically telling you.
They are having the craic and a good time, but they are also there to make music.
Every time I go back to Ireland, I hear live music. You can hear trad sessions in so many places, pretty much all year round throughout the week.
Maybe not on a Monday in the dead of winter, but that is normal.
What should a newcomer ask themselves?
Tara:
For someone coming to an Irish music session in Ireland for the first time, what questions did you have as a newcomer?
What is going on in the corner?
Mickela:
To give context, I am not someone travelling with my instrument to sit in sessions.
I have a TV show, and I go into places and pretty quickly sit in. I learn the dance and music very briefly, and we use that interaction to dig deeper into the stories behind the music and dance.
So it is different from someone who plays fiddle, bodhrán or concertina and wants to sit in.
That would be overwhelming, and I give kudos to anyone doing it for the first time.
The first question you should ask yourself is: what is your intention?
Are you there to learn? To observe? To try? Maybe to come back when you feel more comfortable?
Do not go in thinking, “I am going to show my chops.”
As an American, I think that can happen. People want to prove they can sit in.
Instead, go in thinking: let me listen, let me observe, let me be guided by these people who have been doing this most of their lives.
Introduce yourself. Talk to people.
That is what I love about sessions. People play, and then there is a big pause. You do not go to a session to hear music the whole time. They play a beautiful tune or song, and then maybe there is a ten or fifteen minute pause before the next one.
They are getting another pint. They are chatting. They are introducing each other.
The social element is part of it.
At first, I had to get used to that. I was thinking, “When is the next song?”
But that is not the intention.
As a new musician, come to learn. Listen, observe and take in as much as you can. It is not about going in to give. It is about learning.
Cultural difference and picking up cues
Tara:
You mentioned cultural differences.
Is that something you are good at picking up because you have travelled around the world?
Your show is about dance and music, so you have to pick up cultural nuances quickly.
Mickela:
That is kind of my superpower.
I think it comes from practice.
The idea of Bare Feet came from me doing this for fun without the camera. When I travelled and could not speak the local language, I would dance with people.
It is something that brings me joy.
I am very good at imitating people. I am a trained dancer, but I know other professional dancers who cannot do what I do, where they cannot pick up the dances as quickly.
It is less about the vocabulary of dance or music, and more about listening and observing.
When I am learning a dance, I am very focused. A lot of the time, I do not even realise I am getting the steps because I am observing the person and my body is getting in sync with them.
There are usually no mirrors, so I have to rely on what I am feeling.
Years of doing that, and not caring if I mess up, have helped.
A lot of people are self-conscious about being perfect, especially on camera. But I do not want to be perfect. That is not the goal.
That goes back to a session.
You are not going there to be perfect.
If you wait until you can play the tune perfectly before you sit in a session, you will never sit in a session.
You have to go in, learn the tune, mess up a little bit, fix it and keep going.
That is why the tunes repeat. You can jump in at the moments you have figured out.
Mickela:
The goal is not to become a professional tango dancer, Irish step dancer or sean-nós dancer in one moment.
The goal is to take in as much as I can and use it to continue conversation, friendships and connection.
It is a jumping off point.
It is okay to say, “I do not know, but I want to try.”
That applies to sitting in a session, taking a dance class, or being at a dinner table in another culture.
Be there. Be open. Say, “I do not know.”
It is okay not to know.
Then go in open to learning something about someone else’s culture.
Tara:
That is useful for people coming to Irish music.
Not knowing is okay. But come with vulnerability, openness, joy and respect.
Mickela:
Respect is key.
These are culture caretakers. Culture curators.
They are not just musicians sitting in a pub playing music together. These are people who care about what they are doing.
They care enough to share it publicly so other people can hear it.
They care enough to have a seat at the table for someone who does not know it yet and would love to learn.
I was at the Patrick O’Keeffe Festival in Castleisland in October in Kerry.
It was lashing rain, and if it had been anywhere else, nobody would have been out. But every pub was packed.
What struck me was the number of children in the sessions. Not just young people, but children around nine, ten or twelve years old, sitting in sessions with musicians in their seventies, fifties, forties, thirties and twenties.
Everyone was having a blast. They were carrying their instruments around in the rain. The families were there.
Each session was different.
I am the kind of person who will squeeze in and sit on the floor, tucked away, just to have the most beautiful experience of being there.
I do not need the best seat in the house. I just want the most uninterrupted experience of watching the interactions and taking it all in.
Those children were not there to show off. They were listening and learning. They were collecting tunes.
That is why sessions are alive. That is why they will not disappear.
Session etiquette is not only for musicians
Mickela:
I think musicians should not be the only ones listening to this podcast.
People who want to come to Ireland and have a beautiful experience, especially Americans, should understand the etiquette of going to a session, listening to a session, sitting in and knowing what to expect.
That fifteen-minute pause is normal.
Tara:
It depends on the session.
If there are microphones, it can be more like a performance. Not quite a concert, but not quite as informal as a session.
People may not realise there are different types of things going on.
Mickela:
If you are going to Temple Bar, that is not a session you are going to sit into.
They are probably playing covers, or The Rambling Rover, and it is a singalong. Great fun.
You will meet people from all over the world, and maybe people from outside Dublin in for the weekend.
But that is different.
Understanding expectations is a big part of a session.
What are the expectations from the players, from the people leading the session, from the people learning, and from the people listening?
I always buy the musicians drinks.
Tara:
Do you?
Mickela:
I appreciate them.
During a break, I ask, “Do you need a pint?”
I am having a lovely evening for maybe the cost of one round.
Tara:
It is nice. It is not expected, but it is appreciated.
In some places, musicians are not paid. They are just coming together because they want to play music.
Mickela:
For the grá.
The song that stops the room
Mickela:
Can I tell you an anecdote?
On my first trip, we were in Galway. I think it was Tigh Coili, though I am not sure.
There was a session happening, no microphones, a proper session at three in the afternoon. The pub was full.
All of a sudden, the musicians stopped mid-tune. Not at the end. They just stopped.
A man at the bar started singing a ballad.
He had obviously had a few pints, but he sang this beautiful ballad. The whole pub went silent.
Everyone applauded afterwards, and then the musicians picked up exactly where they had left off.
My ex-husband and I were looking at each other thinking, “What just happened?”
I will never forget that.
I love the respect paid to anyone who sings. The musicians go quiet, the pub goes quiet, and everyone says, “Shhh.”
You would get your head chopped off if you talked over it.
It was beautiful.
Tara:
Quite a few people have mentioned that to me recently.
Someone sitting at a bar singing and the room being quiet is totally alien in many places outside Ireland.
Singers in Irish sessions can struggle to get that silence elsewhere.
But here it is respected. Someone is singing a song, and you will hear people say, “Ciúnas, ciúnas.”
It is not the singer demanding respect. It is the culture demanding respect for the song.
Mickela:
It is beautiful.
I also think, as an American coming into a space in Ireland, you need to realise that the music may be in the background, but it is not background music.
It is happening, and people are paying attention.
When someone is singing, the person talking over it is often someone who does not know the culture, or someone who has had too many pints.
It is not part of our culture in the States to have someone start singing in the pub and the whole room go silent.
It is magical because the whole pub, whether twenty people or two hundred, goes quiet.
It is respect for the song and the tradition of the song.
Tara:
Maybe people need that now, because religious organisations are faltering and fewer people go to church.
Maybe they need that quiet space for contemplation.
Mairéad Ní Mhaonaigh said in the first episode that a song in a session is like a sorbet. It cleanses the palate and the mind before going back to the tunes.
Mickela:
Yes.
There are dynamics in song and music.
That is what I love about sessions. You are not just hearing high-energy music all the time. There is a dynamic. They are telling a story throughout the evening.
Then when the tune changes, and the key changes, and it lifts, you are supposed to cheer. You feel that energy.
You feel the release.
The release when the tune changes
Tara:
When I am in a session and we are about to change tune, or we have just changed, and I make that whoop, it is like an explosion.
It builds up and has to come out.
Mickela:
That is why it happens.
It happens in many cultures. In mariachi music, for example, there is that same release.
You are emitting emotion. You are moved by the music.
Tara:
You are full of excitement and joy.
Mickela:
I love sessions.
I loved playing with you, but it was intimidating because I had not played fiddle in forever. I was thinking, “Am I in tune? Can I learn this tune? Is this taking too long? The cameras are rolling.”
But it was lovely.
One session where I felt most comfortable was at the end of filming in Belfast, at Cultúrlann.
It was an all-female trad session. I played the bodhrán that Séamus O’Kane made for me.
It was beautiful to see an all-female session, where women could feel safe and heard.
Knowing when to start a tune
Tara:
I want to ask you a question from the SessionEtiquette.com questionnaire.
The question is about knowing when to start a tune or set, if you have not been explicitly invited to.
Mickela:
Observe what is happening.
See if anyone else is new and how they approach it.
Let a couple of tunes play. Feel whether the pace is something you want to try.
Observe who is guiding the session. There are usually one or two people leading and calling tunes.
Then, in the pauses, introduce yourself.
Say, “I used to go to sessions when I was younger. I am coming back now. I am not quite sure when I should jump in. Do you mind if I try? Is there a tune coming up?”
What usually happens is that the person leading the session will ask, “What tunes do you know?”
That puts the newcomer at ease too.
They start with something that person knows and bring them in.
That is why I love sessions. The people guiding the session understand that because they were once in that position too.
So sit and observe for a while. Then use the pauses to introduce yourself and tell your story.
I think people will see themselves in you more than you realise.
A lot of musicians are shy, but once you put an instrument in their hands, they fly.
Should a conversation be interrupted by a song?
Tara:
Another question is: should a good conversation be interrupted by a song?
Maybe this is from a listener’s point of view, sitting at the bar and chatting when someone calls for a song.
Mickela:
The answer is yes.
One hundred percent.
You stop.
You can say, “Let’s come back to this.” Listen to the beautiful moment, because it is magical.
It is not about you.
It is a magical moment everyone is experiencing together.
If the conversation is so important that it cannot be interrupted, walk out of the pub and talk outside.
The song will end in about five minutes. Then you can pick up your conversation again.
Do not use the pause to take over
Tara:
The other side is that if there is a break between tunes, newcomers can anxiously think that is the moment to jump in and start a set.
Mickela:
No.
If you are a newcomer, sit back and let the people who run the session, the people who come there often, guide it.
Out of respect.
It is a hierarchy.
I am mainly an observer, and I know that rule.
If there is a tune you hope they will play, go up to them, introduce yourself and say, “At some point tonight, would we be able to play this tune? I have been working on it.”
There is a break for a reason.
A session is welcoming enough that you can ask the people leading it if you could play a tune at some point.
Tara:
I think the response would probably be, “Sure, what does it go like?” Or, “Let’s start it here together.”
Mickela:
There is an understood hierarchy of people who have invested time and energy into that session.
The pub knows who is leading the session that day.
You are not there to impress anybody.
The point of a session is to collectively make music, build community, share tradition, share culture, and have some craic.
You do not want people thinking, “I do not really want that person to come back.”
What does “read the room” actually mean?
Tara:
Lots of people say “read the room,” but I have not always gone deeper into what that means.
What does reading the room mean?
Mickela:
Reading the room means understanding that how you interact with people in a space can change the dynamic of that room.
That could be a room of five people or a hundred people.
Each person has an impact, big or small.
So reading the room means going in with the least amount of impact at the start. You are not trying to affect the room before you understand what is happening in it.
It is asking: what is happening in this space outside of me?
This has nothing to do with me.
It is taking the ego out of it.
What is happening in this collective, and will I add to it in a positive way, or will I be detrimental to the space?
That is how I understand reading a room.
Is there an invitation for me to give something to this space?
Tara:
That is one of the things I always say when I go into a session: can I contribute to this in any way?
Sometimes the answer is no, and that is okay.
The session is bigger than me.
When being invited still does not mean it is right
Mickela:
I have had moments where I go to events and there is dancing happening. People recognise me and say, “You are the dancing girl. Go on, dance.”
But I know it is not my performance. It is not my space.
I might be capable of joining, but it is not always appropriate.
That is reading the room: am I contributing here, or would my energy be detrimental to this specific thing?
The people asking me have good intentions, but it would not be appropriate.
Tara:
Sometimes it is the right time, and sometimes it is not.
Tara:
The mystery question from the previous guest is: what do you do about listeners who ask for overplayed or hackneyed tunes when you do not want to play them?
Mickela:
I do not see a lot of requests made at sessions. I never knew you could make a request.
There are tunes I love, but I would never ask because it is not my session.
As a musician, you can say, “Thanks. We will see if we can squeeze it in.”
As a listener, do not make requests.
Do not request Danny Boy.
It is a beautiful song, but just do not.
The musicians do not want to play it in that setting.
Tara:
It is not the right place for it. It might be right somewhere else at another time.
Mickela:
As an observer, I do not make requests because I do not know what tunes they know, and I would rather hear something I do not know.
If someone asks, you could say, “Thanks, we will add it to the list.”
Then it goes to the bottom of the list.
Tara:
Sometimes I say, “I am not sure if I know that,” and then I feel guilty because I am lying.
Mickela:
I think you should say, “We have some tunes in line. We will see if we can squeeze it in.”
Or just say, “We are not taking requests.”
That is where I am not Irish. The New Yorker in me is very direct.
But it is your session. You play the music you want to play.
More to a session than the music
Tara:
Mickela, thank you so much.
Mickela:
Thank you for making this podcast.
I think it is really important, and it shows there is more to a session than just the music
This conversation with Mickela Mallozzi is useful because she is not coming at the session as a regular Irish session musician.
She is looking at it through the lens of culture.
That matters.
Mickela notices things that musicians sometimes forget to explain: the pause between tunes, the silence for a song, the way a room changes when someone enters, the difference between a performance and a session, and the importance of going in with respect rather than entitlement.
Her central question is simple:
What is your intention?
That is a strong question for any musician, listener, dancer or visitor entering a session.
Are you there to learn? To observe? To contribute? To show off? To take over? To belong before you have listened?
Mickela’s definition of reading the room is especially useful. It is not vague politeness. It is asking whether your presence will add to the space or disturb what is already happening.
That is session etiquette in its most practical form.
This episode also reminds us that session etiquette is not only for musicians. Visitors, listeners, dancers, tourists and pub-goers all affect the atmosphere.
A song deserves silence. A pause deserves respect. A session does not owe anyone a performance. And being welcome does not mean you get to ignore the culture of the room.
At its best, an Irish music session is not put on.
That is exactly why it needs to be protected.
*Produced & recorded by Tara Connaghan and edited by Anita Alvarez Santos
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